All comics by NeoVid

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by NeoVid
9-19-02
I advertise my party for weeks straight....
I even take out that full page ad and make that infomercial...
And the only one to show up is Andy's maw.
You lost. Now eat yer damn biscuit.

 

by NeoVid
9-25-02
So you're saying that 'the pill' for men will reduce my sperm count to zero?
Exactly.
There is, however, one side effect. It removes 50% of the mass of the testicles.
...The idea of having shrunken nads really scares me.
I thought you would be used to it by now.

 

by NeoVid
9-25-02
Pay and pound me, lick me, living and leavened
Say you love me, kiss me we were in heaven
Homo fading thunder by, oh no way to booking the tie, lamer whip you one way, anytime!
Every night I look at the sky, call your name and wonder why, Every night I look at the sky, Maybe miss you, won't_you_come_back?
So that's what happens when you electronically distort Bob Dylan's voice!

 

by NeoVid
9-26-02
Whoops.

 

by NeoVid
9-26-02
I'm an average Joe, with a wrestling job, your average jabroni, a no-talent slob, I always end up with my back on the mat, I lost to Al Snow in_seven_seconds_flat...
He's a jobber, what a jobber, the world's biggest jobber
I go through each match, and sometimes I cheat, but no matter what I do, I usually get beat. I lose to the heels, I lose to the faces, I've left on a stretcher from_dozens_of_places...
My wife and kids, their heads hang in shame. My own tag team partner can't remember my name, sometimes I do a cool move, but the fans just_aren't_interested...
No way, uh uh

 

by NeoVid
9-27-02
Hmm. This spam mail is titled 'enter the dragon'...
That means it's either an ad for action movies, or for some interspecies sex site.
Either way, it's worth checking out.

 

by NeoVid
9-30-02
"Let's see all those movies we've been missing," you said. "It's a great way to use our time off," you said...
Hey, I thought it was a good film.
Yeah, you would. That was the worst movie I've ever seen.
Yeah? What was wrong with it?
"What was wrong with it!?" It was nonstop maiming and dismemberments!
Hey, the reviews said that it would be a top grosser.

 

by NeoVid
10-05-02
Wow... Devin's comics are really damn good.
But I'll try not to get frustrated about th-

 

by NeoVid
10-05-02
"Wow, Devin, you're really amazing!"
I have a hard time believing it myself...
But I really am funny!
Yes, he is. And he'd better pay me back.

 

by NeoVid
10-09-02
Found one!

 

by NeoVid
10-13-02
So who votes in favor of women being required to give sexual favors to Congressmen?
AYE!!!

 

by NeoVid
10-13-02
They said I could keep this up for weeks without being caught, but are they just saying that to fool me?
And if I don't get caught, I'll never be on the news, and this won't make me famous...
Damn girlfriend, saying she wouldn't go out with me again until I was the last man on earth.

 

by NeoVid
10-23-02
Wow... we get all these crappy newbies, and then Devin makes up for it all.
I wonder why it happened...
Just before Devin joined Stripcreator...
DEVIN... YOU ARE DESTINED TO RESTORE BALANCE TO THE FARCE.
Me!?

 

by NeoVid
10-25-02
Making Button Men based on SC could be a good idea. It's publicity and Brad could make money.
Not really. You realize how low the sales are on that game? And which characters does SC really have the rights to?
You realize there's only one way to settle this.
Oh yes.
bigevildan performs a Speed attack with a d12 showing 11, taking your d6 on 3, your d20 on 5, and your d10 on 3.
The bastard!

 

by NeoVid
10-26-02

 

by NeoVid
10-27-02
Hmm.
What?
WHAT?
You don't look anything like I expected, evil_d.

 

by NeoVid
10-27-02
At last! I've graduated!
After all this time and effort, I've finally got a good future ahead of me... *sniff*
One year later
Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?

 

by NeoVid
10-31-02
Hey, can you make me a body?
Sorry, I can't. I know someone who can, though...
I can make you a body right now.
Damn.

 

by NeoVid
11-03-02
Brainsss... brainss...
Brains... brains!
Brains... braiiaaans...
Brains... uh... line?
Somebody fire that zombie!

 

by NeoVid
11-07-02
My date last night went totally wrong.
What happened?
I dunno. I was this close to getting her into bed, but she had this weird reaction when I took out my box of fun size condoms...
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
Yeah, that's the reaction.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....

 

by NeoVid
11-07-02
I will not use this idea for evil.
(RAPPING)
(DIEING)
However, other people are certain to make BeNN_FuKK strips to torture you with. Good for them.

 

by NeoVid
11-08-02
Man, I love Halloween.
GACK!
It's got to be my favorite holiday.
You're a psycho, mister.
There's nothing like the look on someone's face when they take a bite of a caramel-coated onion.
I'll get you for this one day.

 

by NeoVid
11-14-02
Crap, it's solid snow down here. You realize all the things that are going to happen now?
You know, I'm tired of having so much caffiene.
Hey, I just came up with a good comic idea...
I think I'll have my ship be seen over a major city instead of a cornfield full of drunken rednecks.
I'm sick of this virtue thing. I'm going to go shove an old lady into traffic.
I just don't feel like sexually abusing donkeys.

 

by NeoVid
11-21-02
Ah just ran inta the nastiest bastard ah ever met!
Really? Ah should see if this guy's as tough as ya say...
Bad idea! He's the last guy on earth ya'd want to fuck with.
Now ah got to see this guy.
...Maybe he meant he's the last guy on earth it's possible ta fuck with...

 

by NeoVid
11-22-02
*click click click click click click click click click*
*click click click click click click click click click click*
Why the hell are you hitting "F5" over and over?
I got in a flamewar, and I'm trying to make Brock Lesnar attack the guy I'm fighting with.

 

by NeoVid
12-04-02
Tobor, there's something I've wanted to ask you...
MAKE IT QUICK, DOCTOR. TOBOR HAS MANY COMICS TO STAR IN AND GUEST STARS TO ANALLY VIOLATE.
I have never found out exactly what sort of machine you are.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I meant are you classified as a robot, or an android, or-
OH. WELL, TECHNICALLY TOBOR IS CONSIDERED A WEAPON OF ASS DESTRUCTION.

 

by NeoVid
12-10-02
The latest known terrorist attack was an attempt to down a plane with a bomb planted before takeoff.
Due to incompetent design, the bomb only damaged the restroom it was hidden in.
However, since the restroom was completely destroyed, investigators have nothing to go on.

 

by NeoVid
12-13-02
KIDS! FREE TRIP! COME SEE WHERE SANTA LIVES!
Wow! We can go to the North Pole! Can we, Mom, can we can can we-
KIDS! FREE TRIP! COME SEE WHERE SANTA LIVES!
All right. I've been wanting to find something I know you'll want.
uh... santa?
Oh, they misspelled "Satan" on the sign again, didn't they? By the way, your mother said to tell you this: "Something you want? I meant something I know I want."

 

by NeoVid
12-15-02
"Tobor, what can I do about my lack of self-confidence?"
TOBOR DOES NOT CARE ABOUT PUNY HU-MAN'S PROBLEM!
"Tobor, people always take advantage of me because I'm so nice. How do I get them to stop?"
DO WHAT TOBOR DOES AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM FIRST.
"Tobor, most folks just don't pay any attention to me. How can I be more memorable?"
NEXT TIME SOMEONE IGNORES YOU, RIP OUT HIS SPINE AND STRANGLE HIM WITH IT.

 

by NeoVid
12-15-02
There hasn't been as much Christmas spirit lately. I hope some people show more love of the holiday season...
I'm dressing as an elf and giving gifts to the poor!
I'm about to paint the town in red and green.
I've donned my gay apparel!

 

by NeoVid
12-22-02
"Jim, who was God's son?"
Whenever he tries to answer, I'll poke him with my pencil! *JAB*
Jesus!
"Correct. Who was the first member of the Holy Trinity?"
*JAB*
God!
"Correct. What did Eve say to Adam their first week together?"
*JAB*
Poke me with that thing one more time and I'll break it in half!

 

by NeoVid
1-09-03
All right, it's nearing the end of the year, and that means that you're in for your most important test, class.
The test will be to tell everyone else in the school to attend this class on Monday, and give them directions on how to get here.
And if I see a single one of them actually arrive in this classroom, you've all failed Subterfuge 101.

 

by NeoVid
1-10-03
Well, class, due to lack of attendance, the school was planning to eliminate Subterfuge 101.
This was due to the fact that none of you were ever sure that you were actually in this class.
However, I was able to convince them that I would get more students if they simply changed the name of the class to "Introduction to Politics."

 

by NeoVid
1-15-03
Ekscuze me, sony, coud yuo teel me ware teh grossery stor is?
Uh... right over there.
I wan too get somting speshial four teh familly reunyun Im haveng lateer these weak.
Uh... sure, we can cater a "familly reunyun", once we find out what one is.
Yoor bac! I thot yoo wer ghoing to wate til nekst weak!
eye'm hoam alreddy, maw!

 

by NeoVid
1-17-03
Who do you think the most important person in history was?
Um... George Washington.
Who do you think the most important person in history was?
Pee Wee Herman.
Who do you think the most important person in history was?
Vexorg, the exalted Prime Monad of the fifth... I mean, George Washington.

 

by NeoVid
1-17-03
Paging Mike Rotch! Anyone here see Mike Rotch?
First we'll need a microscope!

 

by NeoVid
1-17-03
Paging Hugh Jorgan! I'm trying to find a Hugh Jorgan!
Don't have one of your own, huh?

 

by NeoVid
1-17-03
Paging Harry Balzac! I'm looking for a Harry Balzac!
Call Andy's maw!

 

by NeoVid
1-18-03
Well, I'm losing most of my already-insufficient net access. Sometime soon, I'll be reduced from an hour a day to 2 hours a week.
So I guess I'll be disappearing and coming back every once in a while.
...Dammit. I'll be turning into DH-01.

 

by NeoVid
1-19-03
California is announcing a plan to save several million budgeted dollars.
The plan involves cutting libraries, police and fire departments.
The money saved will be used to construct a new Death Row.
Why? Is the old one a health hazard?

 

by NeoVid
1-21-03
Hey, I know you used to work tech support. You know where I could get a cheap computer?
Aw, I just got rid of the last old computer and free dialup access I had left. Sorry.
Hey, I know you used to work tech support. You know where I can get a cheap computer?
Damn, I just gave away the last one I had that I don't use myself. Sorry.
Hey, does anyone at SC have an idea where I can get a cheap computer?
My job just tossed out a bunch of old laptops. If I'd known, I could've held onto one. Sorry.

 

by NeoVid
1-21-03
I've been trying to find a cheap computer. All I need is something that'll get me online.
In that case, it'll be no problem.
Try Ebay. You'll be able to find a used comp a few years old with all the accessories for $50, easy.
I'm sure. But there's the slight problem of my not having net access of my own, meaning I don't have a personal email address, meaning Ebay won't let me register.
Oh, yeah. There's that.

 

by NeoVid
1-21-03
I really deserve to win this contest.

 

by NeoVid
1-26-03
I think I have a spare laptop you can use. It's a Pentium 1.
1? I thought they started with 2.
Well, it looks like all I need is to find an ISP for $15 or less and my access problem will be handled. And I can be a lot more productive with my own comp.
I'll finally be able to play Button Men for several hours at a time!

 

by NeoVid
2-06-03
Can you hear me now?

 

by NeoVid
2-09-03
Still no comic ideas...
I've got to start drinking more.
I wouldn't be any more creative, but at least I'd have something to blame.

 

by NeoVid
2-13-03
Maybe I should get some of my school assignments done instead of lurking at Stripcreator.
But I left all of that stuff in the car, and I'd have to get up and go all the way out there... and I'd need to remember to disconnect from online. It's not worth it.
Jeez, Devin. If you gave up any easier, we'd have to start calling you the 'Caveman'.

 

by NeoVid
2-13-03
I'll need that stapler I ordered Unit 3 to bring, but 3's been disobedient lately. Will he even do what I told him to?
He's refused my orders, talked back, and called me names. In fact, I don't think he'll bring me the stapler at all. The damned bot'll just see it as another opportunity to make me look like a fool!
Here is the stapler you requested, master.
I DON'T EVEN WANT YOUR GODDAMN STAPLER, BITCH!

 

goes shopping
All right, sir, that's a case of Budweiser, a case of Jagermeister, a case of Wild Turkey, one bottle of Ripple, and one package of Pampers. That'll be $64.
Hmm. That's a bit more than I have. Leave out the diapers.
by NeoVid, 2-14-03

 

babysits
Lookit! I did all these drawings!
You drew these yourself? They're crap.
by NeoVid, 2-14-03

Showing page 5.

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