All comics by daddydoright

 

by daddydoright
2-11-06
Ha ha! Your funny!
What's that? I make you laugh? What am I some kind of fucking clown?
Uh? Yah.
Oh, sorry, sometimes I forget.
Ha ha. That was funny again!

 
by daddydoright, 2-11-06

 

by daddydoright
2-11-06
Just one more.

 

Is that who I think that is over there?!
Where?! Where??!!
by daddydoright, 2-11-06

 

Is that who I think that is over there!?
Where!? Where!?
by daddydoright, 2-11-06

 
by daddydoright, 2-11-06

 

by daddydoright
2-12-06
So I says doctor this thermometer tastes like shit!

 

by daddydoright
2-12-06
CRYING IN THEIR BEER
I hate my job!
I hate my wife!
AT A DREARY
I hate my kids!
I hate my friends!
CORNER BAR
(stranger at the bar observes) "How depressing!"
I hate my life!

 

by daddydoright
2-12-06
At Work
I should of graduated college instead I'm stuck in this no where job.
Yah me too.
At Home
If I wouldn't of had kids I would of done the things in life I wanted to do.
Me too.
At Play
If I would of married better I would be able to afford the better things in life!
I know what you mean.

 

by daddydoright
2-12-06
Oh not another one of those damm Jesus freaks again! Talk about radicals. Bothering me at my home there ought to be a law.
Hi have you accepted Jesus into your life as your personal savior?
No, sorry not interested.
Just let me into your house and I will quote obscure passages from the bible! Then I will come back with many more like me to invade your home and tell you your not right until your like us.
No thankyou. I'm not Christian.
Than you will burn in hell. Until then me and my followers will bother you at home, on the street and at work trying to change your heathen mind!

 

by daddydoright
2-12-06
We're live here in the working class poor ghetto. Where Mr. Rich has decided to make a unprecedented appearance.
I wanted to see how the other half lives.
This old guy smells of Ben-Gay and Polo.
Did he just call this the working class ghetto?
Half of what?
Fuck-a you, you rich-a bastard. Go back and-a hide in the suburbs.

 
by daddydoright, 2-12-06

 
by daddydoright, 2-12-06

 

by daddydoright
2-12-06
Well Cindy-Lew who do you think will make a good daddy this month?
"let me see mommy"
I got that shit you wanted. You got the money.
Yah sure. You better not be shorting me on the weight.
Aw shit my ex just walked in tell me when she leaves.
I must be getting old. She looks like a little kid to me.

 

by daddydoright
2-12-06
It's the weekend. Your daddy's are coming to pick up. Now don't forget to ask them what I said.
Yes Mom we know! Do you have any money for momma?
Come on momma! It's the same thing every week! Do you have any money for momma?
I too remember mumma! Do ju have any money for da mumma?
Yo Moms'. How could I forget you been telling me since I could walk! Yo Pop's any cash-ola for Moms'?
Oh oh. I know too! Daddy if you love me you will give my mommy some money.

 
by daddydoright, 2-13-06

 

by daddydoright
2-13-06
Hey buddy!
What?!
Did you hear the author of "JAWS" Peter Benchley just died.
Aw man. That's a shame! He was my favorite author.
Mine too!

 

Less Filling!
Tastes Great!
by daddydoright, 2-13-06

 

by daddydoright
2-13-06
I've come for you! Now unlock this door! Aw Come on! I have to go too!
Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna do it.

 

by daddydoright
2-13-06
Eating
Wow that food was to die for.
I'll say.
Drinking
I'm dead drunk.
Me too.
Sleeping
Good night Death.
Good night.

 

by daddydoright
2-13-06
Listen! Everyone be quiet! Death is here. Pretend were not home!
knock, knock, knock
(fart sound), giggle.
What was that?

 

by daddydoright
2-13-06
Oh God I hope we don't get stranded on a desert island and have weird things happen to us!
That's GILLIGAN'S ISLAND you idiot!
No that's LOST you jerks!
Your both wrong! It's definetley SURVIVOR!

 

by daddydoright
2-13-06
I should of went GREYHOUND!
I should of had a V8!
I should of wiped my ass a whole lot better! PeeU!
I should of eat the damm worm!
I should of had a TIC TAC! Yuck!
I should of known with all those Yoga classes I'd be able to blow myself! Ohhhhh!

 

by daddydoright
2-13-06
And now I'd like you to look deep into your heart as we pass the basket for our blessed TIDINGS.
This first collection is for the POOR of the world.
Please pass the basket around my children and think not of yourselves but of others.
Todays second collection is for the CHURCH.
Remember what our blessed Lord said, " It is better to GIVE than receive". So receive the GIFT OF GIVING.
Our third collection is for God's own messenger LEGAL DEFENSE fund.

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
The nun would beat ya
I don't ever want that kind of language used in this classroom again!
The priest would beat ya
Talk that way in front of nun do you!
Then Dad would beat ya
What the fuck is wrong with you?! Fucking talking like that at the motherfucking school?!

 

The Sun goes around the Earth anyone can see that!
How is the world? Well I reckon about 4,000 years old cause that's when Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden.
by daddydoright, 2-16-06

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
a silent scream fills the air
So why don't you start by telling me your childhood as far back as you can remember.
At age 3, I tried to slit my own wrists. I was sick of my fathers's frequent rapes and senseless beatings.
like the sound of TV on
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
At age 4, I witnessed my Mom gang raped by an outlaw motorcycle gang. Forever after that day she blamed me for it.
that has no picture
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
At age 5, I declared war on the world. Only to have my name despised and hated by all who ever hear it! Is it me or is it cold in here?

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
wedding dress rehersal
I usually don't get involved. But my son your bride to be is a whore!
Why does everybody I know keep saying that??!!
I am so sorry. Do as you wish.
Man this chick is the best ass I ever had! Besides that she gives blowjobs to die for!
3 months later
Who was that man running out the back door pulling up his pants?!
How should I know! Come see how wet I am. I was just thinking of you honey.

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
Your always there for me day or night!
You never say no! You always let me choose what I want!
I Love You!

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
Mike Tyson do you know why we sent for you to come to China?
Is it about the spirtual visions I was receiving in the 1980's
Yes, yes. You do remember!
The Chineese became frightened of me because they thought I would reveal the pugilist secrets of the universe. Didn't they?
Yes my son. That is why we engineered your professional demise. We wanted to finally apologize.
I've always known. But thankyou. .

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
Who is smarter?
I fuck as many men as I want, when I want! Then I get what I want!
I fuck one man, when I want, as much as I want. Then I get what I want!
the whore?
I do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want. Then I don't care who knows about it.
I don't do whatever I want, with whoever I want. But then I don't care to do that anyway.
or the housemouse?
Your a dumb bitch! Get a life!
Your a dumb bitch! Get a life!

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
Nice buzz cut! Were you in the military?
Uh, no.
Are you a punk rocker?
No!
Well what the fock? Are You a fag?!
NO!

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
YOU DO WHAT I SAY!! THIS IS MY HOUSE! AND I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!
No! I'm not a little kid anymore!
"What's that over there!" (she graps a cast iron frying pan)
(laughs) "Where?"
knocked out by frying pan
Let this be a lesson! I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it!
Uhhhhh. Owwwwwww.

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
I don't get it! We come in here everynight after work! We stay here till bar close!
So!
We eat here! We cash our paycheck here! Then we spend our whole check here on the weekends and the rest of week!
(shaking) "So!"
So is it to much to ask for peanuts that are already shelled around here!
(nervous laugh) "ahahahaha!"

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
What was the greatest compliment you were ever given?
Well I was fucking the shit out this stripper!
I don't get it? Why would he write a comic bragging about his sexual prowness?
And I stop batter ramming the pussy and I think. (I'm gonna fuck this slut as deep as I possibly can!) and really put the balls to the bone as hard as I can trying to make my dick go as deep it can!
Maybe he's just trying to get some pussy?
And then what did she say?!
She said, "It's sooo deep!" She happily said she "could feel it in her belly" and that she "felt like a virgin all over again!"
What? Is he fucking stupid? Who ever heard of anyone getting laid from writing a comic? Aren't there Chatrooms for that sort of fucking thing?!!

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
inside the confessional
Bless me father for I have sinned. My last confession was about a week ago.
Go ahead my son.
inside the confessional
I don't know how to say it. So I'll just say it. Father I stole a bunch of communion wafers and ate 'em.
(screams at the top of his lungs) "YOU DID WHAT!!" (the whole church echos)
infront of the whole congregation
It seems we have a little demon among us! By now I'm all sure you know what he did! WE WILL ALL SHUN HIM! That will be his punishment.
I thought confessions were private. (pause, reflects) "So this is what HELL is like."

 

by daddydoright
2-16-06
6AM
Damm! This grandma is always here before me! I know I'll come early tommorrow!
The early bird catches the worm! Haha!
5:45 AM
Rrrrrrrr! He took my spot!!
Aha! I beat her! She is second in line! I am first!
5AM
Now it's war Grandma! There can be only one!!
I'll show him! Take my spot!

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
I been coming here for 20 years! That young punk is not going to get my lucky seat!
These grannies don't seem so nice since I won that last Bingo game.
That's the young punk who won yesterday! He better not win again or else~
Who does that boy think he is coming here?! This is not a daycare!
iiiiiiiiiiiiaaah! I just had a bowel movement, thank goodness for my Depends undergarments no one will even know.
Pee-you! Gertty just shit her pants again!

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
I bet you pick up alot of chicks, don't you?
No, not really. I haven't been laid in 6 months.
undressing
Yah right! That's what all you guys say! Ha!
No really! I haven't even jacked off for 6 months!
uh,uh,Uh,Uh,UH! AHHHHH! AHHH! AH!
(gag, cough, cough) "Holy fuckin shit! I didn't believe you! You came so hard in me it even came out of my Nose!!"
See!! I told you!

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
Oh I'm so happy you took me on a cruise! I've never even been out of the U.S.!
(wryly) "I don't think we're out of U.S. quite yet."
Oh yes we are. I just heard some of the crew saying we just left U.S. waters 5 minutes ago!
(fiendishly) "Great! I've wanted to get you out of the U.S. for a long time now!"
and then he beat the living shit out of her
YOU BITCH! THIS IS FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU PUT ME THRU!! THE U.S. IS THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT HAS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LAWS! CUNT!!

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
I watched so much TV in my life.
Hey kids! What' Time Is It??? "IT'Z HOWDY DOODY TIME!!!!!" YEAHHHH!!!!
duh
That I am forever cursed to feeling little more than a voyeur
We can rebuild him! We can make him stronger! Gentlemen we have the technology to make the world's first Bionic Man!
Duh
No longer a participant but only a 'viewer'.
Space! The Final Frontier! We are on a 5 year mission! To seek out new life forms! To boldly go where no one has gone before! These are the voyages of the starship ENTERPRISE!
DUH

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
How does it feel that you've
neht
EMERGENCY!! EMERGENCY!!
watched so much TV in your life
neat
ONE ADAM 12!!!
That your cursed forever to be only an observer of life?
NEAT
TONIGHT ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL........how they mass produce totally unimportant uninteresting things!

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
(shaking the child!) "NOW I WANT YOU TO SIT INFRONT OF THE TV AND DO NOT! MOVE!!"
(crying) "But I want to go outside and play!"
NO!! Only 'good' kids get to go outside and play! Now If I catch you turning your head away from that TV, you'll NEVER get to go outside again!!
(pleading) "NO! NO!" (scared) "I won't! I promise! I want to go outside and play!"
And never was he good enough, and he never went outside, eventually he no longer wanted to.
Sonny I'm going to the grocery store. Do you want to come along?
No thanks Mom. I'm watching the Weather Channel.

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
family visitation day at jail
(boasting) I'm gonna be in here too someday!
(prideful) Oh yah?
family visitation day at jail
Yah you'll see!
We'll see huh?
bragging to his friends
Then I went and saw him in jail and told him I'd be in there someday!
(wishing) Yah! Me too! Me too!

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
white boys first day in jail
1hour later he looks around
when he looks back he hears..
If you piss standing up I'll kill ya!
(starts shaking with fear)

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
You in there! You'll see the judge Monday morning!
All right great! What day is it?
(walking away, meanly says) "SATURDAY!!"
(meekly) "thankyou."
(voice from another cell) "I Told You He Was A Punk!!"
Aw fuck!

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
Jail Chow Line
(gruffly) "Hey you gonna eat your bread?"
(nicely) "No. Here." (hands it to him) "You can have it."
Jail Chow Line
(loudly to all) "See I Told You He Was A Punk!"
(shocked/ confused) "Huh?!!"

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
Jail. The TV Room
BAD BOYZ!! BAD BOYZ!!! WHAT 'CHA GONNA DO!! WHAT 'CHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU?!!
(flicking channels) (speaking loudly to all) "If Anybody Sees Anything They Wanna Watch Say So!!"
(after seeing familar movie momentarily forgets where he is and happily shouts) "Oh yeah, Stop! It's a John Wayne movie!"
(angrily) "Fuck mother fuckin John Wayne!"
(screams and throws chair) "FUCK JOHN WAYNE!!"
(yelling insanely) "yah! Yah! YAHH!"

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
Jail Hall
(Yelling) "Who here wants to help clean up on level 2?!"
(quiet)
Jail Hall
(Screams) "I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP CLEAN UP OR I'M GONNA START PICKING PEOPLE!!" (sound reverberates down halls)
(steps forward) "I'll do it."
walking down the jail hall
(voice from behind talking loudly) "I knew he was a punk!"

 

by daddydoright
2-17-06
Brrrr! Here comes another one! He better not say it or I'll fuckin snap!
(smirking wryly) "Cold enough for ya?!"
(screams, running to attack) "You fucking asshole! I'll kill you!"
(surprised) "Huh?!"
(yelling / hitting) "Cold Enough For Ya?!"
(still smacking him but torturingly now) "Cold Enough For Ya Yet?!"

Showing page 5.

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