All comics by little_kitty

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by little_kitty
5-04-05
The idea was exerpted from toothpastefordinner.com
Do you ever think about taking those fundraising cookies without paying?
We don't have cookies, we have fundraising buns.
Fundraising... buns?
Yeah. They're in the breakroom, check it out.
the fire represents censored material.
Helloo ladies. If you just want to slip a single between my buttcheeks...
"Fundraising" buns, EH?!

 

by little_kitty
6-22-05
Been out in the sun today, Paige?

 

by little_kitty
6-25-05
You know what's great? Forgetting birthdays. And anniversaries.
What?
Forgetting birthdays and anniversaries. Its great.
I heard you the first time.
Then why did you say what?
I didn't realise we were a couple.

 

by little_kitty
6-25-05
We are a couple... a couple of asian girls!
Whaat?
I want to kill myself now, thank you.

 

by little_kitty
6-25-05
Welcome to Tim Horton's. What can I get you?
Aaaaaa large black coffee and a New York filled donut.
A what?
New York filled donut. You know, with the dark on top and the white in the middle?
A Boston creme?
I like New York better than Boston, but sure, why not.

 

Happy belated 2 year stripversary, little_kitty.
May your jokes actually start to make sense.
by little_kitty, 6-25-05

 

by little_kitty
7-01-05
From those who took over your country!!
Hooray!

 

by little_kitty
7-09-05
Honey, I'm *hic* home...
This is the 15th night in a row that you've come home late! I've had enough of this shit, I want a divorce!
Please forgive me baby...I swear, I'll make it up to you.
And just how do you plan on doing that?
I bought you a pony!
How is Rosie O'Donnel going to save our marriage?

 

by little_kitty
7-09-05
Ok, let's finish up this interview with a few questions. Do you smoke?
Nope.
Do you drink?
Sometimes.
"Sometimes"? but aren't you...
Yes, I am the male Tara Reid...

 

by little_kitty
7-11-05
Forward
back
Skinny
Fat :(
White...
Yo, I be black.

 

by little_kitty
7-26-05
Its the family that everyone loves... the Holy Family!
Meet dad... the single father trying to save an entire planet by sacrificing his only son!

 

by little_kitty
7-26-05
and the Son, who tries to thwart his Father's sacrificing!
Yeah, I'm a badass. How would you like to have your bling as a cross?
And the obligatory female who thinks she's a "real character" in their life.
Oh, I'm not a major character. I just GAVE BIRTH TO JESUS.

 

by little_kitty
7-26-05
Today, on The Holy Family...
Jesus... I heard from your teachers that you were getting the kids at school drunk again.
But Dad, I was just doing what you told me!
Jesus, you can't turn every water fountain into a wine fountain in a primary school!
I thought alcoholism was a pretty cool trick for their age!

 

by little_kitty
7-26-05
Honey, we need some bread and fish. Can you go to the grocery store and get some?
Oh no... Remember what happened last time?
Mr. Holy Father to the customer service desk. Holy Father to Customer service.
Yes? What can I do for you?
We found your son breaking bread and giving out wine to all our customers. That'll be $51.40
JESUS!!

 

by little_kitty
10-18-05
So your name is... Paige?
Unfortunately.
Like... like Paige in a book?
Except for the misspelling, yes.
Paige what... Seven?

 

Your last name is Bolton? Like Mi...
Shut up or your testicles are mine.
by little_kitty, 10-18-05

 

by little_kitty
12-22-05
My ex and I used to go to that bar a lot
Why's he your ex?
For a multitude of reasons, mostly because he was a douchebag
What is this, 1983? I haven't heard that phrase in a long time.
Is douchewad more time appropriate? Name-calling never goes out of style.

 

by little_kitty
1-05-06
Dear Dr. Lawson, My boyfriend and I have been having problems in the bedroom lately. He's not into me the way he used to be. What can I do?
Charge him $80 a visit and talk with an Eastern European accent. He'll think he's at a seedy brothel!
Dear Dr. Lawson, I'm having trouble at work, and my boss is really getting on my ass about it. What can I do?
Set fire to your boss's car, you're going to be made redundant anyway!
Dear Dr. Lawson, My last year has been complete and utter shite, and I feel like killing myself. What should I do?
Explosives. Less painful.

 

by little_kitty
1-05-06
Dear Dr. Lawson, I have a distinct feeling that my girlfriend is cheating on me with another woman. What should I do?
Tell her and her lover to meet me at Toad's Head Pub. I'll bring the condoms if they bring the lube.
Dear Dr. Lawson, My mother-in-law has been living with us for the past few months and she's driving me crazy. What can I do?
Touch of southern comfort in her evening glass of milk. She'll pass out and forget all about you.
Dear Dr. Lawson, I have a big party coming up and I can't find anything to wear to it, what do you suggest?
You're writing to the wrong columnist. I'll send this off to "Ask a gay man anything" for you.

 

by little_kitty
1-06-06
Dear Dr. Lawson, I'm in a lot of trouble with some unsavoury fellows
Unsavoury fellows? What are you, 16th century British?
I lost a lot of money on the races and I'm not quite sure what I should do
Well, I do believe there's only one thing to do.
Kill yourself. No way money like that is going to come to an unlucky fucker like you.

 

Dear Dr. Lawson, I think a boy at school likes me, but I'm not sure. What should I do?
Prostitution! Then all the boys will like you!
by little_kitty, 1-06-06

 

by little_kitty
1-06-06
Dear Dr. Lawson, I'm getting married next month and my fiance wants me to learn how to dance, but I've got no rhythm. What do I do?
Well, there's two options. One: You suck it up and take dance lessons like a pansy.
Two: You tell your wife to dance with the bridesmaids while you take video shots of the whole thing.

 

by little_kitty
2-16-06
The US womens hockey team is saying that the Canadians should have taken it easy on the Italians
I agree. Beating the host country 16-0 is a little humiliating.
But if they let up on the Italians now, think of what will happen later!
Hah. Yeah. Instead of ice hockey, it'll be tomato sauce hockey.
I was thinking more along the lines of us being termed pansies.
And instead of sticks, it'll be garlic bread...

 

by little_kitty
2-16-06
Bertuzzi got slapped with another lawsuit from Moore right before the olympics started.
Good. With a foreign name like that, who needs him?
You have no idea who I'm talking about, do you?
Sounds Italian, does he like pasta?

 

Whilst in the Porn Store...
Whoa... look at the size of that thing!
Man... If I saw anything that size, I'd be like "sir, can you please put that baseball bat away?"
by little_kitty, 2-17-06

 

by little_kitty
2-21-06
Chicka: You Canadians gave us cold air
kitty: I'm sorry
Chicka: Or at least that's what the weatherman said, with his scientific graph of the country
kitty: I'll stop farting in your general direction
Chicka: With a big white glob that says "Canadian Artic Air" taking up half the northern states
kitty: because y'know. When a Canadian farts, somewhere in the states gets a cold front

 

by little_kitty
2-22-06
After today's men's hockey match, I have only one thing to say.
Fuck you, Russia.

 

Quoth Sean Connery...
Your mother's a whore.
by little_kitty, 2-24-06

 

My school vice principal had issues in front of crowds.
And now for the distribuition of the asses... ASHES.
by little_kitty, 3-01-06

 

Herpes you say?
I want to say all the cool kids have them, but then I'd be a poser.
by little_kitty, 3-12-06

 

by little_kitty
3-24-06
Ooh baby... want to know what my favourite song is?
Mmfff okay.
Come On Eileen
AAAAACCCKKK!!

 

by little_kitty
4-11-06
o/' Let it *beeep*, let it *beep*! Let it *bee-eep*, let it *bee-eep*. Speaking words of wisdom, let it *beeeeeep* '\o
Hi, John. Its your mother. I heard things with you and Yoko weren't going so well...

 

3rd Stripversary
Three years of comic making, and I still can't come up with anything funny.
by little_kitty, 6-02-06

 

Awkward!!
Awkward!!
by little_kitty, 7-13-06

 

by little_kitty
7-13-06
But the invitation said June 6th, 2006.
About that... you're about a month late.
Do you know how hard it is to get all the way up to earth from the depths of hell?!
Nope!

 

by little_kitty
10-03-06
You are seriously saying that you don't enjoy going down on a girl?
I don't know what it is... I don't like the taste?
That's the reason?
I guess its an acquired taste, kind of like beer.
Nothing beats a vagina in the face, except maybe a bowl of chinese food.

 

by little_kitty
2-20-07
Let me put it this way... I would never sleep with you.
Why, you wouldn't be able to keep up?
My ass doesn't put out.

 

by little_kitty
4-25-07
Dear Dr. Lawson, I can't seem to find any information on prostitutes in my area that are STI free. Any resources?
Uhhhhhhh... Try east 75th street.
Dear Dr. Lawson, I love fast food, but it doesn't love me. Comments?
Sell your organs to McDonalds when you die. Its the best thing you can do.
Dear Dr. Lawson, I love you. Marry me?
Cha nel as Baarle.

 

by little_kitty
4-26-07
Daddy?

 

by little_kitty
4-26-07
Knock knock.
ignore... ignore... ignore...
KNOCK KNOCK!
*sigh Who's there?
Buttz. LOL.

 

This is what I get for forgetting my Stripversary
How long until we can let her out?
As soon as the zombies, vampires, and soul-eaters are done.
by little_kitty, 6-05-07

 

by little_kitty
6-20-07
Today, Word Bird, we're going to talk about religion!
I'm thinking of creating a magical religion where drinking and dancing are big no-no's, and trying to make things "low-fat" is strictly forbidden!
What should we call these people?
Mennonites!

 

by little_kitty
6-20-07
Next time you eat veal, think of it this way...
Cows don't eat your babies
Or do they?

 

Like, no way!
Yahweh
by little_kitty, 8-01-07

 

by little_kitty
6-11-08
A typical day.
Good morning! What can I get for you?
A typical customer.
A small decaf coffee and one slice of dry brown toast.
A typical request.
That'll be 2.35
I want that decaf fresh, and that toast toasted, but not burnt.

 

by little_kitty
6-11-08
When toast is done, and coffee is fresh...
Brown toast!
5 minutes later.
10 minutes later.

 

by little_kitty
6-11-08
15 minutes later.
Brown toast!
Its about time! This toast is cold. This coffee isn't fresh.
My life is absolute shits.
I've been calling you for the past 15 minutes.
Is this some sort of new policy that you just hang on to our food and never call? I'm telling the entire Women's group...

 

Oh, right. This is a belated anniversary. As they all were...
by little_kitty, 6-11-08

 

by little_kitty
11-10-08
After years of searching...
discovering and soul pondering...
I still hate all internet speak
OMG LOL
STFU

 

by little_kitty
6-13-09
Awww come on... I said I was sorry!
No. I'm still not speaking to you...
LOOK. I had to. I can't create the "Easter Bunny Massacre" without KILLING Easter bunnies.
But the ones at the mall are people, not bunnies.

Showing page 5.

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