All comics by pslock

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by pslock
11-26-03
Oh no...
What is it?
Santa's been into the Rum again.
Uh-oh, let's just hope he can't get into the stables this time...
Whoa...mind if I crash here, Rudy? I just had to get out of that workshop.
Sure thing, man, I was just about to put on some Tull and crank the volume!

 

by pslock
11-26-03
Oh no...
What is it?
Santa's been into the Rum again.
Uh-oh, let's just hope he can't get into the stables this time...
*hic!* Alright...I'm back for your ass, pal! Get the cards out cuz we're having *hic!* it out tonight! 5 card stud as usual, and this time no *hic!* betting limits!
Bring it on, old man. I can always use more of your dough. Heh heh..I guess the "wittle kiddies" will have to suffer this year...again! *snicker*

 

by pslock
11-27-03
Ahh yess...once more we enter the realms of the gods and in doing so we see the true comic performer as a master of his craft.
Tonight I am pleased to have he who has brought us so much joy that we can scarcely look upon him without crying ourselves to sleep on a bed of rose colored sorrow. For..that..is...my...feeling here.
I give you....HIPPIE! The greatest comic character in the history of all known drawn art and then even before that.
Uhh...hi..

 

by pslock
11-27-03
In 2001 you were part of the comic...nay, I shall use the term MASTERPIECE...which was entitled "DUM ASS LIBERAL GETZ FUKED!", a brilliant foray into the realm of complex politics.
Eh..whatever...it was just a stupid comic done by some right-wing shithead.
hahahaHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! Your humor and wit is like the gaze of Zeus himself coming down from Mt. Olympus to pour Dasani on my head. You...are....a....master...
Isn't there supposed to be, like, a craft services table here or something?
Oh..it is here indeed, O master of the trickery play known as comedy. But is is HERE...in.....my....pants...
Wow..that's so uncool.

 

by pslock
11-27-03
And now, Hippie, I...present you....with......your.... ......students.....
Huh? Students? Oooh man...
Mr. Hippie? I'm a third year StripCreator student, and I was curious exactly how you motivate yourself?
Oh..well...uh..first I find some good porn and th...
*pssssst!* No, no...she said MOTIVATE!

 

by pslock
11-27-03
Yes, Mr. Hippie. I'm a 2nd year StripCreator student and I'm currently working on a project in which I plan to have the third panel say something like "AWWW SHEET!!" and then end things on that note.
Whatever...
Well, I'm curious, what with your experience, how you would approach a project like that.
Man...I'm being hassled by complete strangers!! Uh...look, I dunno..just make shit up... I'm outta here..
Brilliant!!
Indeed!!!

 

by pslock
11-27-03
Hi! I'm Timmy the Thanksgiving Zombie here to remind you that there's plenty of good substitutes for turkey meat on this holiday! You don't HAVE to kill an innocent turkey just to enjoy the holiday!
For instance, the flesh of the homeless tastes JUST LIKE turkey!!
Er....so I've heard....

 

by pslock
11-27-03
Do ya feel lucky PUNK!!!
Well......DO YA!!

 

by pslock
11-28-03
Yes, here you are sir, some brand new crap.
Baa! Baaaaa!
Yes, here you are ma'am, some brand new crap.
Baaa! Baaaaa! Baa-a!
Repeat Ad Nauseum.
Yes, here you are sir, some brand new crap.
Baa! Baaaaa!

 

by pslock
11-28-03
Wow...I'm bored..
KAPOW!!!!
YEEEEEEHAWWWW!! I'm George W. Bush and I'm here to surprise you and EAT DINNER with you, thereby increasing approval rating and providing me with a photo-op better than kissin' a ward-full of babies.
Umm..I think you have the wrong house or something..
Wait...no cameras? WHAT THE FUCK??

 

by pslock
11-29-03
*ACCESS DENIED. CODE REQUIRED TO PROCEED*
Holy crap! I have to get out of here before zombie doom takes me over! Why can't I escape through here? What code? I need a CODE?
Author's Note: This comic is probably only funny to people who've actually played RE:CV, and even then, probably not funny at all.
Unless I have this CODE I can't get out? No! I need to figure out the CODE!! What could this code possibly be??? I need to consult my extensive notes....
Much later...
Damnit...I'm still suck here! This CODE is utterly confounding me!!! CURSE YOU CODEMASTER!!!

 

by pslock
11-29-03
YES! IT'S MY BIG CHANCE!!
FOR WHAT?
THE BOSSES ARE FINALLY LETTING ME INTO COMBAT!! I WILL FIGHT TERROR ON A SCALE NEVER BEFORE SEEN!! I'M GOING TO IRAQ AS AN EXPERIMENTAL WEAPONS PROJECT!
ARE YOU SURE? I HAVE PROCESSED NO DATA RELATING TO SUCH AN OPERATION. OH WELL...GOOD LUCK.
Later..
HAH! FOOLS!! YOU WERE NOT COUNTING ON ME! THROW DOWN YOR ARMS AND SURRENDER TO OUR GREAT NATION!! DO NOT THREATEN ME WITH YOUR PRIMITIVE, SPHERICAL WEAPONS!
*translated from Arabic* Oh Allah! It's Mr. Bush! Coming to my fruit stand? Wait until I tell the gang about this! "May..I.. have..autograph?"

 

by pslock
11-29-03
...then you can KILL people in all these awesome ways, and like do all violently and shit! It rocks! There's like BLOOD and stuff!! It's...
So...lemme get this straight. During a time when every right-wing politician is looking to make a name for himself by coming after art and media-forms for any excuse to seem like a hero...
...Rockstar pulls up and HANDS THEM a shrinkwrapped excuse to give videogamers even MORE shit than they already deserve, and a lying, biased media yet again makes us look like bloodthirsty idiots...
...who just want as much brutality and crass stupidity as possible jammed into a game just so we can then go out and imitate it in real life?
But.....dude....there's like blood. And death....
Yes.....yes it does.

 

by pslock
11-30-03
Us chickens were made for third class seating. It's part of our genes.
NO IT ISNT U FAG!!
....
I rebuke that statement, good sir.

 

by pslock
11-30-03
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Clucky Von Birmingham. One of the great line of "Birminghams" you've probably heard about.
STFU IM PLAYNIG CS!!1
Ahh..a gaming man, I see. Yes, I remember fondly when I last hit the poker tables in Monte Carlo....
STFU1

 

by pslock
11-30-03
I got you wabbit. Come out of your hole!
What's Up Doc?
FRUGS BUNNY AND HIS KOOKY REVUE WILL CONTINUE IN A SEC...
I'm sorry but this must be immediately shut down. It not only advocates violence against animals, but it clearly advocates casual gun usage. This cannot stand and it must be edited.
Say, let's have some vegimite pudding and watch PBS!
Indubitably, you fine, upstanding, Southern Warrior, sir.

 

by pslock
11-30-03
Saturday mornings when I was a kid.
I TAWT I TAW A PUDDY TAT!!
YOU DID!!!
Saturday Mornings now.
YAAAH!!! SUPER ENERGY KICK OF +2000 POINTS WHICH, IN TURN, ALLOWS ME TO USE MY KUNG FU ABILITY TO CASTRATE YOU!!!
But my special power of BURPING RAINBOWS INTO SOUP will defeat you....IF ONLY THE KIDS WOULD BY MORE OF MY FIGURINES!!! TIME FOR THE SUPER FUN JOY HAPPY SPELL OF HEAVENLY PAIN BLOOD!!!
Saturday Mornings 20 years from now....
i am worker man...
and i am sorrow. our show begins now.

 

by pslock
11-30-03
OMG TIS 1 GUY WAS LIEK TRYING TO KILL ME BUT I DIDNT LET HIM AND SO HE DIDED NSTEAD LOSER I TRASHED HM
So he was a right bastard, eh? Good that you showed him up and gave him what for...
SPAEK ENGLISH FAG

 

by pslock
11-30-03
Somewhere in Afghanistan...
...so, basically your whole family was wiped out by the American attacks?
Yep...but they gave me this free radio with a card and a cute littly kitty on the front that says "Sowwy!!"
So, let's turn it on...
Ok..*click* "We now present a marathon of 'As it Happens'"...
Later.. (after we have won the hearts and minds of the Afghan public)
ARRRRGH NOOOO!! Enough!! We must kill the rotten infidels who give us this trash!!!!
I dunno, it's got a good beat.

 

by pslock
11-30-03
Ahhh yes...in a letter from my dearest sister she bemoans the lack of proper teas in Iowa. She simly can't get a long without her precious teas!! Heh heh...
So...I take it you like tea as well? At least a little?
LOL WHAT? I WUZ ON MY CELL PHNE WIT MY HOMEY HES MAD DOG 4 SURE BRO WHAT U TLAKIN BOT?

 

by pslock
12-01-03
POV of someone who likes to stick pencils over their ears.
POV of someone who just fell into the tank at Sea World.
POV of someone who has died and gone to hell.

 

by pslock
12-01-03
RAWR!! Time to burn your crops and eat your sheep!!!
This is 21st century suburbia...I have no crops or sheep.
I...see...I must have made a mistake. Which is odd as I can usually sense those things....I will go now..
*meeeeep*
AHA! What was that noise...coming from...your.....pants???
NOTHING!! It's just a sheep-shaped TOY!!! BEGONE you fantasy creature!!

 

by pslock
12-01-03
S.U.P.E.R VI@AGRA IS HERE! a
Are you serious?
Wha.t are you wai.ting for? wly rdyv gzm
I have my doubts...I'm just...not..sure..
Free Teen De-virginization Clip..Only 2 minutes long but its free!
Alright you sold me....

 

by pslock
12-02-03
OMG MUST VOICE PROTEST!!! BOYCOTT EVERYTHING!!!!
Later, in another part of the world.
OMG VOICES OF PROTEST ABOUT GOLLUM BEING CUT!!! I AGREE, THIS WILL NOT STAND!!!
A little later on at a theater...
Hi...two tickets for ROTK please....

 

by pslock
12-02-03
OMG! MORDOR IS CUT!!
U SERIOUS!??!
DID U HEAR, MORDOR AND GANDALF ARE CUT FROM ROTK!!!!
OMG!
THE HOBBITS HAVE BEEN REPLACED BY HILARIOUS LATIN-AMERICAN COMEDIANS!!! OMG!!
THIS WILL NOT STAND!

 

by pslock
12-02-03
Yes!! Yes!!! TAKE THAT!! I'm in 1st place!!! The trophy is mine!
I've got two words for you....
Banana peel..
FUCK!!! No..noo..not over the clif.....AWWWW!!!! YOU $*@(@$%&!!!

 

by pslock
12-03-03
OMG!! TEH ONE SCENE WHERE FRODO LOOKS TO HIS LEFT HAS BEEN CHANGED SO HE LOOKS TO HIS RIGHT!!! VOICE DISGUST NOW!!! NO BLOOD FOR OIL!!
OMG! THINGS ARE DIFFERENT THAN I VISUALIZED THEM IN MY HEAD!!!
R U SERIOUS?? I'M TELLING!!!
BOYCOTT ALL MOVIES EVER MADE!!!!
FUCKING IDIOTS CUT THE COCKSUCKING OUT OF ROTK!!

 

by pslock
12-03-03
WTF?? Pirates of the Carry-A-Bean is only WIDESCREEN?? THAT SUCKS!!
Oh well..you don't HAVE to get it just because it's brand new and shiny, sheep-boy.
Now those black bars will cut off everything.
Yeah, actually there's more too. The entire film has a giant, bloody, handprint in the center of the image all the way through. Oh, and there's commercials every 3 minutes too.
....You're being sarcastic, aren't you?
Not at all, sir. In fact, everytime you look at a widescreen film a small, poor, ethnic child dies a horrible death.

 

by pslock
12-03-03
Hey..what's that one song that goes: "Dum de dum...Aaaallllriiight!!" ??
Umm....a Wiggles Christmas?
Dude, no, it's that one song sung by a guy...and it's new. You know?
.......
That song by that band with the people in it?
Yeah, actuallyI know exactly what you're talking about...follow me into the basement and I'll show you where it's at...

 

by pslock
12-03-03
I say...that was most offensive, to be offered chicken for dinner. My goodness, what KIND of people is this airline hiring??
LOL IM EATIN CIHKEN!!! ROFL ITS UR COUSIN!!!!
I highly doubt that seeing as how my cousin died years ago in the great Alaskan Civil War that lasted 3 minutes and made the front page of at least 5 major websites in Alaska.
ROFL THIS CHICKN IS U LOL

 

by pslock
12-03-03
.....
YOU'RE IN A MATRIX GETTING INTO KUNG FU FIGHTS AND SHIT WHILE TRYING NOT TO LOOK GAY.
FIGURES.

 

by pslock
12-03-03
MORE KUNG FU AND KICKING PEOPLE IN THE BALLS (WHEN AND IF THEY HAVE THEM)
LEATHER TRENCHCOATS...
YOU'RE THE REMAINDER OF AN UNBALANCED EQUATION...LIKE AN UNUSED WANG...

 

by pslock
12-03-03
SAVE THE FUCKING DOCK? YOU JUST GAVE IT TO THEM ON A SILVER PLATTER..
ANGRY SUBWAY BUMS WHO KICK YOUR ASS...
I SUCK DICKS BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO.

 

by pslock
12-03-03
Actually, I don't hate dcomposed...I just thought it would be a funny title...
...
It's not.
I said THOUGHT...
Oh, did you? Like I care..

 

by pslock
12-04-03
TIME FOR A VISIT FROM "JIMMY", THE AVERAGE, ALL-AMERICAN, NORMAL KID WHO SPEAKS OUT ON PEACE. DIG IT, YO.
Yo, hizzomies..I'm talking it real from DA STREET! Yo, it's like I'm sayin', dcomposed and Ngrassi be gots to be stoppin' the hate, yo, cuz on these streets you got to be serious real.
Yo, like violence be stoppin' nothin'. Time fo' the love to make the ultimate beat-down, yo, know what I'm sayin'?
*WESLEY!!!! TIME FOR YOUR STORY!!!!*
Oh..yes, indeed mumsy. Coming forthwith!!!!

 

by pslock
12-04-03
Why, hello there you weird, sexually perverted 17th dimension creature. I'm the saviour of the human race, The Bush, and I think you should join my side of things.
No, thanks. I'm just sorta doing my thing here in the 17th dimension. I'm not interested in joining you. We here believe in a simple, peaceful life.
......
TERRORIST!!!

 

by pslock
12-04-03
Wow..it sucks to be stuck in this graveyard all alone at night whilst being so amazingly horny.
Oh..hello..I'm the night security guy here at the graveyard. My you look horny.
Oh, I am!! OOPS!! MY clothing fell off accidentally.
Oh dear. Let me help you pick that up!!
THIS PANEL CENSORED FOR CONTENT. THE TITLE DID NOT SAY "GOOD" PORN, DID IT??
*censored dialog by order of the Ashcroft Dept. of Moral Increasingness*
*Censored dialogue by the G.W.Bush Honorary Libido Squashing Society (reformed)*

 

by pslock
12-04-03
OMG TEHRE IS NO SOUND IN ROTK!!!
Who told you that?
INTARNET!!! WE MUST VOICE OUR PROTEST!!!
Do you seriously believe a movie would come out with no sound?
THAT SI WHAT HARRY KNOWLES TOLD ME!!!!
OMG U SERIOUS!! THEN ITS TRUE!!!!

 

by pslock
12-04-03
Come Eowyn, for we must go forth and face the Nazgul who have left Minas Morgul and are coming to slay us. I'm not afraid, though because I can Fix PC Problems in just ONE click!
Indeed...I shall slay this horrible fell beast and send him back into shadows...and I'll look good doing it as well increasing my Breast Size Naturally!!
Before I go off to my fate I have but one thing to say...Keep Your Colon Clean..
Aye...in the words of my ancestors...You Win ba m llzudmijdhajm
2 Free Santa Mugs and Gourmet Coffee!!!

 

by pslock
12-05-03
LOL!!! I SAID NIGGER ON TEH INTARNET!!! WAIT TILL I TEL PEOPLE AT SCHOOL!!!
LATER AT SCHOOL
Tee hee...tee hee....
YEAH, I KNOW!! KNOW CHECK THIS OUT...STUPID CHINK!!! LOLROFLOMG!!!
LATER IN REAL LIFE
SO THEN HE SAID "SHUT UP YOU JEW BITCH!!" LOLLOLLOL!!! Hey it was just a joke man...it doesn't actually mean anything.
You're absolutely right you white trash, mongoloid, shithead.

 

by pslock
12-05-03
PLEASE READ THE WOMEN WITH EITHER A CROCODILE DUNDEE ACCENT OR CROCODILE HUNTER ACCENT. THX -mgmt.
OI!! I'm Kiwi and I want to know if you carry any films by Peter Jackson OTHER than Lord of the Rings...
Yes, actually we have some over h...
NOW I KNOW that being a small minded American idiot you probably have never heard of any of Peter Jackson's films so let me explain to you all about his life.
Actually I'm quite familiar with his work. Way before LOTR. In fact, I was probably into his films before even YOU were. In fact, I could probably kick your ass, mentally, concerning his films.
Crikey!! Uhh...I..think..I'll..go..look for those...movies. Where did you say they were.
No, no, NO, bitch...c'mon!! Teach me all about Peter Jackson. Let's GO!! BRING IT!!!

 

by pslock
12-05-03
PLEASE READ THE NASTY MAN ON THE LEFT WITH A STUPID ACCENT OR CROCODILE HUNTER ACCCENT. THX. -mgmt
I'M GOING TO SUE YOU!!! PREPARE FOR COURT!
Umm..sue me for what?
I just bought all 4 Alien films and now there's the new Quadrilody set!! IT'S A RIP-OFF!!! IT WAS DESIGNED TO RIP PEOPLE OFF AND STEAL THEIR MONEY!! YOU'RE STEALING!!!!
Actually Alien Legacy came out, like 4 years ago. But regardless, I can just refund it and you can buy Quadrilogy.
i don't have my receipt...
Oh yeah, that's right..I forgot that part of my relentless conspiracy to screw people was destroying their reciepts. Wow...GO ME!! YEAH!

 

by pslock
12-05-03
Attention customers: There is a car in the parking lot with its lights on. It has bumper stickers saying "KILL THOSE TOWELHEADS", "FUCK THE HOMELESS", and "WOMEN ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING BUT BLOWJOBS."
It's also parked in handicapped space and will probably damage other cars backing out because it's a pointlessly huge SUV designed to compensate for the small penis of its owner.
*pant* *wheeze* Oh man..I heard your page...is my truck ok?? Wha? Heeey....my lights aren't on out there!
Oh...I guess I had the wrong car. Nevermind.

 

by pslock
12-06-03
I HATE TAT FUKING CHICKEN HE NEVER SHUTS UP OR LETS ME BEAT HIM AT HALO. NEXT TIME I SEE HIM HES DEAD!!
LOL DUMFUK IM ALL GONNA KICK HIS ASS..
SUP??
I say..the bathroom isn't near as smelly today.

 

by pslock
12-06-03
I AM GOING TO INVEST IN BEANIE BABIES AND RETIRE!!!
MY CALCULATIONS SHOW THAT YOU WOULD EARN APPROXIMATELY $0.02 YOUR FIRST DAY.
WHAT? NO, NO...THERE'S A HUGE MARKET OUT THERE FOR BEANIES. THEY'RE LIKE MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS CHRIST!
THIS IS UNTRUE. MY STUDIES SHOW NOT EVEN WHITE TRASH ARE BUYING INTO BEANIES AS THEY ONCE WERE.
DAMN, WHY CAN'T A GOOD, DIM-WITTED CONSUMER FAD STICK AROUND LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO MAKE A BUCK?
IT IS HARD TO PREDICT THE STUPIDITY OF THE MASSES. MY COUSIN, THE XL250, FRIED HIS MOTHERBOARD ONCE ATTEMPTING SUCH A FEAT. I PERSONALLY THINK WE NEED TO BRING BACK THE PET ROCK.

 

by pslock
12-06-03
COMING IN 2004!!!
Wow....I'm lazy. But at least I enjoy lasagna.
But now I'm off to adventure, even though I'd never actually so such a thing as stipulated by the 25+ years of stupid comics where I sit on my ass and piss off Jon and Odie.
YOU THOUGHT CAT IN THE HAT WAS BAD!!! 2004!!! Bill Murray!!! Jennifer Love Hewitt!!!! Shitty Product Tie-Ins!!! EVERTHING THAT HAS A BEGINNING HAS AN END.
*snore*

 

by pslock
12-06-03
I.....I'm speechless.

 

by pslock
12-07-03
I hereby announce my candidacy for President in 2004. Everyone should vote for me so that America can be a much better place.
Phht...what have you ever done for the people of this country???
Well, I gave all you members of the press this cool free trip to the moon.

 

by pslock
12-07-03
Tonight, my friends, we have the most ultimate and complete experience that a comic could ever have. My dear god this character is a god among men and even then, among gods.
It will be hard for the weaker minded of you to comprehend what it's like to be on stage with this character who fills me with a homoerotic rage!
Ladies, gentlemen, and....my students...I give..you....this...master...this...dog. Yes....Dog on Ball!!
Glad to be on the show, James.

 

by pslock
12-07-03
In 1983 you were involved in the most masterful, brilliant, and utterly mindblowing comic ever made..a comic that we have ALL seen many times andifyouhaven'tyouareaPHILISTINE!!
I assume you're referring to "POO MADNESS" made by a very young Dilbert author.
Ooohh..indeed I am you doggie woggie.
Don't call me that.
Oh..your...fur...it glistens.. You..are..the..master...performer...
Uh..James?

Showing page 5.

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