All comics by Bazilla

Profile

 

by Bazilla
3-29-02
I'm good.
I'm bad.
I'm good.
I'm bad.
I'm good.
I'm dead.

 

by Bazilla
3-29-02
*Insert nude scene here.*
*Insert man breaking leg on propellor scene here.*
*Insert credits here.*

 

by Bazilla
3-29-02
I'm a stupid fat kid that no-one likes, I'm rubbish at Ice Hockey, and play for a rubbish Ice Hockey team.
Somehow, we've managed to get to the final, it's a tie with 2 seconds left. It's up to me to win us the tournament.
Wouldn't you believe it, I scored and now everyone likes me.

 

by Bazilla
3-30-02
Take that you little shit!
o/* She may be weary, women do get weary. Wearing the same shabby dress. And when she's weary, try a little tenderness. o/*
Take that you little shit!

 

by Bazilla
4-01-02
What the fuck is that!?
*crying* I never stop whining about how scary this is. I always whine about fuck all
Wouldn't you know it, we got killed by something no-one saw.
Yes but it costed little money and idiots thought it was good, and now we're rich!

 

by Bazilla
4-01-02
Do do do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do do do

 

by Bazilla
4-01-02
I caught a train.
I didn't.
I'm happily married with my husband.
I found out he was having an affair, and have now fallen in love with some other guy.
I nearly died.
I did.

 

by Bazilla
4-02-02
In a world where humour is high.
So I said "About 800 pounds"
Haha! Classic!
Just when you thought life could never be unfunny...
Sorry, I can't hear you!? Get it!? Hear, cos you don't have ears!
I'm goign to giev you teh biggets rapping of your lief!
Bazilla and Fuck - A Golden Silence!
Does that mean we won't speak?
No, teh adienec won't lauhg!

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
So.....ready for a wacky adventure?
No.
Ahhh, go on, it could be a long series that no-one likes.
Why's that?
See the name in that top right corner?
Oh yeah, that.

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
So, uh how we going to start our wacky adventure?
Well, we could use a time machine and travel back in time. Oh oh oh, or we could try and get laid!
Couldn't we just make fun of your set square face,
or your third eyebrow?
NO!

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
There it is! The Grand Canyon!
Yes, I know that, why are you telling me?
I just thought I would remind you we agreed to come here, so we could ride the river.
I know!
Well I just thought I would tell you.
What a weird thing to say.

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
Well, there's one way down.
Yeah, those steps over there.
No dude! We have to jump down in a barrel and live.
You're thinking of Niagra Falls.
No, people have done that and survived, no-ones done this!
Yeah, well I'm taking the steps, meet you there.

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
*pfft* what a loser, I'll show him.
Right, I'm in the barrel, now just to roll off.
Neal's right, why do I say the weirdest things to myself?

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
I thought I heard him land, where could he be.
Idiot trying to kill himself, surely that would end the wacky adventure.
Who the hell are you!?
Oh, I just got nailed.

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
Sanka, you dead?
I'm Pete! Not Sanka!
Oh yeah, right Pete, you dead?
Yeah man.

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
Dude, I wasn't supposed to die, please put me back on Earth.
O.K
But on one condition.
What?
You save Neal from the one they call "42"

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
The meaning of life!? But that's impossible!
Yeah, well jumping off the Grand Canyon in a barrel is stupid! Have fun!
Pete, you dead?
No man.
Man, I thought I lost you. It makes you think, what's the point of life?
You shouldn't really think about that.

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
Later at night, Pete had gone home as had Neal.
Zzzzzzz
42, 42, 42, hey Neal, what's 30 + 12? What's 21 + 21?
Zzzzzzz
Hey Buddy! 8 + 34?
What!? Who are you?

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
*gasp* *cough* *wheez*
It is I!
Uh, I hope you don't mind me asking, but who are you?
I am here to tell you what life would be like if Pete was not here.
And why?

 

by Bazilla
4-03-02
CUT! What are you doing!?
Oh God, what now?
The script says you have to tell Neal the meaning of life so Pete dies!
The script sucks! It's had problems since day one! Would anyone really jump off the Grand Canyon in a barrel!?
Right, I'm ut of here then!
T'ra

 

by Bazilla
4-04-02
Well, this is boring, but I have nothing better to do.
You see, without Pete you became very boring, now let's look at your future.
Wow, Pete must be the life of a party, maybe he does stop me being boring. After all, who else would think of surfing the Sydney Harbour Bridge on an ironing board?
Honey, I'm home!
Oh good, it's been a total nightmare trying to get these stains out of my apron!

 

by Bazilla
4-04-02
Wait, because of not knowing Pete I would be gay!?
No, you would be gay with or without him, I'm just warning you about your sexuality.
AHHHH! I had the strangest dream, you were there.
And there was this guy forcing us to jump off the Grand Canyon in a barrel. And this bunny told me what life would be like, and said I would be gay, before the bunny raped me.
Uhhhhhh, yeah, a dream! You keep believing that Neal!

 

by Bazilla
4-05-02
He's called Gizmo, but it's very important you don't let him near water, bright lights and don't feed him after midnight.
OK Dad.
Dad, I accidently got him near water, there's now more of them!
And gosh wouldn't you know it, I fed them after midnight and let them near bright light.

 

by Bazilla
4-06-02
Oh! I know, we could call you "Sarcastic Man!"
Wow! That's a real good idea!
Thank you! You could solve problems using your sarcasm.
Wow I could!? Cool!
Your Sarcastic Man!
Really!? I didn't know that!

 

by Bazilla
4-07-02
Eh?
Yer wot!?
Eh?
Yer wot!? Yer starting!?
Eh?
Yer asking!?

 

by Bazilla
4-12-02
You know, you really are a ruby geezer!
Don't you mean diamond?
Don't get precious!

 

by Bazilla
4-13-02
Please forgive me father, for I have sinned the worst sin.
*sneeze*
Bless you.
Oh thank you father!

 

by Bazilla
4-16-02
I'll never let go Jack!
CUT! Holding on to him for the rest of the movie isn't going anywhere, let go of him!

 

by Bazilla
4-16-02
So hows it going Nic?
Fine, quite a good movie this.
Yeah, playing the good and the bad person.
Yeah, and you get to play the ugly as well.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
What? We're on!?

 

by Bazilla
4-23-02
Well, I'm going to work, will you want anything darling?
I think we're out of coffee, babes!
Oh splendid honey! Could you iron my shirt when I'm gone?
With pleasure!
I think I would lose my head without him.

 

by Bazilla
4-23-02
*ironing* Relight my fire! Your love is my only desi....ahhhhh!
Oh no! You evil, evil man! What are you doing!?
Wait a minute! Tobor?

 

by Bazilla
4-23-02
Oh gosh! Where am I?
You're here to do us a favour!
I don't like your shoes one bit!
That doesn't matter!
Someone call the fashion police! Nee naw nee naw.
Oh Christ!

 

by Bazilla
4-23-02
No, don't use blasphemy! You silly goose!
Oh god, do I have to have my sins forgiven or something?
You done it again!
Wow, forgiving sins is pretty easy.
No! You used the lord's name in vain!
Can I not say crap either?

 

by Bazilla
4-23-02
Forgive me father, I have not done this sort of thing before.
That's ok, God will forgive you.
I have sinned, I used the lo.. Hey wait a minute! I'm supposed to be threatining you!
Right anyway, we need you to do this favour.
Oh, and I'm not overkeen on your shirt either, you buys your wardrobe?

 

by Bazilla
4-23-02
You want me to blow down Safeway!?
No, blow *up* safeway.
But my lover works there!
Listen, there's plenty of other girls for you.
But I'm gay!
You are!?

 

by Bazilla
4-24-02
I can't do it, what will God thi...
I knew I should've locked that door.

 

by Bazilla
4-24-02
In local news, someone has blown up Safeway.
Oh no, Joshua please be all right.
Many are thought to of died, but this man escaped.
All I know is that, the shop blew up, and I don't know how.

 

by Bazilla
4-24-02
Well, I'm going to work, will you want anything darling?
I think we're out of coffee babes!
Could you iron my shirt when I'm gone?
With pleasure!
What he doesn't know is that I'm going to be blowing up work MWHAHAHA!
I think I would lose my head..

 

by Bazilla
4-25-02
Dude, what you thinking about?
Well, it was to this day, 4 years and 4 months ago my wife died.
and.....?
and I'm a little upset that I'm still single after all those years.
Sorry, you wouldn't understand, you've been single all your life, what with the ninth eye and all.

 

by Bazilla
4-25-02
Jon! After all this time, you still look the same!
Yeah, uh, you look different..?
Yeah well, you know how it is, once you've been regurgitated and all.
So.... what was it like in there?
It was alright, until it became pregnant and then I had to kill the baby so I may live.
So that's why it was angry at me....

 

by Bazilla
4-27-02
What the fuck do you want Yoda?
Your fathers defiance I sense in you, you must unlearn what you have learned. Bad marketing, terrible burgers, coke imitations, The Burger King side of the Force are they.
A Big Mac, I will have, but three times as big as it was.
That's impossible, that's too big!
Size matters not. Judge me by my size do you?

 

by Bazilla
4-27-02
I don't believe it! How did you...?
That is why you fail.
I'll have a Big Mac meal, with large fries.
Oh crap, I messed up the order, what the fuck do I do now?
I suggest you do it again, but this time, let go of your conscious self, and act on instinct.

 

by Bazilla
4-27-02
But without your order I can't possibly know how to serve you.
My order can decieve you, don't trust it.
1 minute later.
You're right, I could actually tell what you wanted.
Congratulations. You've taken a large step into the McDonalds world.
But it could've been luck.
In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.

 

by Bazilla
4-30-02
Wait a minute! You're a horse!
And....?
I'm a horse! I can't have competition!
I thought you were a donkey?
Well, yeah, but I'm a horse as well! Now I can only be used for donkey sodomy!

 

by Bazilla
4-30-02
BOO!

 

by Bazilla
5-02-02
First of all, the Welsh flag is a lot better, unlike the Scotland one which is just a colourblind's tilted English flag.
But we where kilts in freezing weather, we're hardcore!
No,your penis is just small, and besides, the coolest sounding Scottish place is Aberdean, Wales have the elegantly named Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
...
Ass.

 

by Bazilla
5-08-02
o/*Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, everything that's wonderful is what I feel..o/*
!!!!
They stole Dil!
Well duh!

 

by Bazilla
5-08-02
So, here's what we do... *whisper*
Fuck you! I'm fed up of making the tea!
OK, I'll make it, but after that we... *whisper*
*whisper* why the fuck do we do that?
It's comedy gold!

 

by Bazilla
5-08-02
So what's it like having a hand up your arse?
What! You don't know?
Pablo! Where's Dil? Why have you kidnapped him!?
And Kajun, how could you!? What would your mother say?
Well, she would say "Och, mae wee bairn, aye am disappointed in ewe." Wait, what have I done!?

 

by Bazilla
5-08-02
Alright Pablo,games over! Hand Dil over!
But I don't want to *sob*
And gee, don't cry.
No, I'm offended now. *sob*
Dil!
What? I'm a tear?

Showing page 6.

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