stripcreator archive (2001-2026)

make a comic : top rated : forums

Jump to user:

All comics by BigEvilDan

Profile

Not nearly as big or evil as you'd think.

 

Clappy: The Beta Version by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
Hey, it looks like you're...		...uh, line? Writing a letter, you idiot!

 

Interviews with the Stripcreator Characters - Part 15 by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
Lowpass (a.k.a. Stripcreator) interviews Santa Claus So, how are the preparations coming for Christmas? Well, I'm currently checking The List twice, and the toys are nearly complete.	Any comments on the rumours that you have an army of midget slave labourers who are busy counterfitting brand-name toys? Uh...	And what about these photos of you and Dasher that have been circulating around the internet? You promised not to get into that! Turn off the damn cameras! This interview is over!!

 

His sacrifice will not be in vain... by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
It looks like you find me annoying and wish me dead.	Have you considered just turning me off?	Damn my helpful yet annoying programming...

 

Where's Waldo? - Large Print Edition by BigEvilDan 11-27-01

 

Clippy Physics (It had to happen some time) by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
One day, in Microsoft Word... So I says, "It looks like your rotor turbines are trying to generate gravitons by themselves. How can I help?" Ha, ha!		What the fuck are you talking about?

 

Disillusionment by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!!		That sounded a lot cooler when the rabbit was saying it.

 

The Canadian Flag by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
		Sorry, it won't be finished until DexX draws a maple leaf.

 

Half the goodness, twice the fun! by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
Roger learns the advantages of the conscience exchange program. Look, $20 just sitting on the ground! Take it!	No, leave it there. Soon some other greedy bastard will come for it...then you can take his money too!

 

A new, and utterly pointless, record. by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
Well Dan, the new characters have allowed you to beat your record for most comics submitted in a single day.	In honour of this achievement, we've brought in someone appropriate to deliver a heartfelt message.	Hey, it looks like you're a geek with far too much time on his hands. How can I help? *sniff* That was beautiful...

 

CC 82: Three endings for the price of one. by BigEvilDan 11-27-01
Spankling, I am your father. NOOOOOOOOO! Well, maybe. My mom was kind of a free spirit.	Man, all this Holy War business is tough. You wanna just go get a pizza instead. Sure. I already missed that millenium prophecy thing. Armageddon can wait a while longer.	Well that was easy. Now what?

 

Serial Comic V: Blue Christmas Of Death by BigEvilDan 12-01-01
Ha ha ha ha... ha ha ha ha... and so on. Bill Gates! But how could someone so greedy and evil run Christmas?	What, you think I can't be a nice guy once in a while? You probably just want to give out shoddy toys that can only be fixed with expensive Microsoft products. You evil bastard.	Yeah, well I'm not the one who was running an elvish sweat shop. Hey! There are people who would kill for their dental plan!

 

CC 82: More powerful than you can possibly imagine by BigEvilDan 12-01-01
You can never hope to defeat me. You are a mere mortal, while I have divine powers. I know your weakness, Jesus. Many Bothans died to get me this information.	What the...? What the hell is a Bothan? Give up now. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a blaster by your side.	What the...wait. Using Star Wars quotes to confuse me? The force is strong in this one. Hmm...maybe I should switch to the Monty Python...

 

CC 82: Life experience by BigEvilDan 12-01-01
I have lived a life free of sin, and have the powers of God behind me. What do you have to show for yourself?		Ow! I went cow tipping once.

 

A message from Santa by BigEvilDan 12-01-01
Many people on this site have pointed out that Santa and Satan are anagrams.	I'd like to state once and for all that there is no connection between myself and Satan, and that the name thing is just a coincidence.	The Claus/Lucas thing, however... We've finished the Jar-Jar merchandise, sir. Shall we start the R2-D2 toys?

 

CC 83: Dr. Pedantic Dates A Woman by BigEvilDan 12-03-01
		March 12th, 1960.

 

CC 83: Dinner... by BigEvilDan 12-03-01
...and those are all of the scientific and technical flaws in "Star Trek". Won't this guy ever stop talking?	But enough about my life. Let's talk about you. Well...	Here's a listing of all the flaws I've discovered about you this evening...

 

CC 83: ...and a Movie by BigEvilDan 12-03-01
There is absolutely no way that a man could survive a fall from that height without a parachute. Especially when suffering from a bullet wound.	That radiation would kill him, not give him superior strength. And if he can really crush cars, how is his daughter surviving that hug?	Those were some pretty good trailers. I can not wait to see the actual movie. Oh god. He'll never believe that Julia Roberts would leave her rich fiance for a waiter. It's going to be a LOOOONG movie.

 

CC 83: Pedantic, the Love Doctor by BigEvilDan 12-03-01
Well, that was certainly an interesting evening. Do you mind if I come in?	When I said interesting, I meant horrible. If you're planning on getting some, think again. "Getting some" what?	SLAM! I'll just wait here until you finish that sentence.

 

Worst Things to Say When Pulled Over By a Cop by BigEvilDan 12-06-01
The Great God of Arse demands I drive at that speed. Do not question him, lest he smite you.	I thought the speed limit was posted in base 16. The decimal system is SO last century.	I don't believe this. Since when did having a trunk full of drugs and a dead hooker become a crime?!

 

Worst Things to Say When Pulling Someone Over by BigEvilDan 12-06-01
Sorry, mistook you for a visible minority. Have a nice day, sir.	I had to pull you over because your tail light went out when I rear-ended you.	Well, I searched your car, and I didn't find any drugs. You'll have to borrow some of mine until you get home.

 

Confused Physics by BigEvilDan 12-06-01
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!" Ha, ha!		What the fuck was that about?

 

Telemarketer Physics by BigEvilDan 12-06-01
So I says, "Them marketing surveys ain't gonna answer themselves." Ha, ha!		Why the fuck am I talking to you?

 

Serial Comic V: You Get What You Pay For by BigEvilDan 12-07-01
So, you're working for Claus. I can't let you reclaim this workshop. I don't think you have a choice in this, Gates.	Did you really think I'd be defenseless? Autobots, move out!	GENERAL TRANSFORMATION FAULT. FATAL ERROR 4705-42. PRESS CTRL+ALT+DEL TO REBOOT.

 

CC 85: Write your own Chick Tract! by BigEvilDan 12-07-01
[Random mention of Jesus] [Over-the-top yelling at believer, because all sinners are stereotyping bastards]	[Bible quotes, chosen at random] [Jokes at expense of believer]	[Claim that accepting Jesus is the only way to salvation] [Statement that five minutes of random bible quotes have made him a believer, despite fact that lifetime of same has failed to do so]

 

CC 85: Write your own Chick Tract! by BigEvilDan 12-07-01
[Invitation to engage in homosexual activity/drugs/ roleplaying/selling Girl Scout cookies] [Consent to joining said activity, despite concerns that Christian fundamentalist friend said it was evil]	[Relief that consent has been given, and revelation that character is Satan in disguise] [Engagement in said activity, followed by quick and accidental death]	[Revelation to victim of true identity, and that victim has been fooled] [Lamentation that they were persuaded by Satan's shallow words, and desire that they had been swayed by Christian fundamentalist's shallow words]

 

CC 85: There are those who can't be saved... by BigEvilDan 12-07-01
RAAR!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!! That would be a sin, Tobor. If you don't accept Jesus as your personal saviour, your soul will be sent to hell for eternity.	TOBOR DOES NOT WANT THIS. TOBOR WILL ACCEPT JESUS AND SAVE HIS SOUL. Praise the Lord! Another soul is saved by your wo--	WAIT, TOBOR IS ROBOT! TOBOR NOT HAVE SOUL!! RAAR!! NICE TRY, BIBLE BOY!!!

 

CC 85: A Simple Strip Site by BigEvilDan 12-08-01
What's up, Stan? That's a nice evil-looking goatee you're growing. Thanks Gabe. You should stop by my place later. I just got the Internet installed.	The Internet? Isn't that a sinful place of pornographers and witches and role playing geeks? Not at all. I did a search for Jesus and it came up with some really interesting sites.	Matthew 26:41: Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. stripcreator.com (logged in as: ILoveJesus) Wow, this is neat, AND holy.

 

CC 85: A Simple Strip Site by BigEvilDan 12-08-01
January... "This is such a shitty way to spend Easter" It's got Jesus, so it must be good.	...June... "RAAR, TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!" That's sinful, yet funny.	...December "So I says, 'Them loaves and fishes ain't gonna multiply themselves'." "TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE JESUS!!!" Ha, ha! What the fuck was the Bible talking about? Jesus was way cooler than it let on.

 

CC 85: A Simple Strip Site by BigEvilDan 12-08-01
Gabe, I'm getting worried about you. I think this stripcreator site is bringing you further from Jesus. Nonsense. It has a Jesus character, and it brings me closer to the Lord.	Exodus 3:5: "Do not come any closer," God said. But Jesus doesn't swear and have oral sex. He's pure! Nonsense! You're just jealous.	Come on. You added to your ILoveJesus handle with "because he's got a fine ass!" in your sig. Jealous.

 

CC 85: A Simple Strip Site by BigEvilDan 12-08-01
1 Samuel 21: "Look at the man! He is insane!" Come on Gabe. Come with me and get away from the computer for a bit. I suppose. I just finished a 30-part serial comic about time-traveling robots.	Well Gabe, now that you're away from the influence of that infernal machine... OH MY GOD!!! There's a giant ball of fire in the sky! We're all going to die!	Uh Gabe, that's the sun. How long has it been since you were outside? Gabe? Uh, are you having a heart attack? Urk...ack....

 

CC 85: A Simple Strip Site by BigEvilDan 12-08-01
Numbers 22:29: Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me!" Is this Heaven? Did that giant ball of fire really kill me? Uh, yeah. Whatever. Anyway, God is waiting for you.	Wow, it really is God. And I get to spend all eternity with... ...Satan. Sorry Gabe, but you aren't on the list.	Damn! That stripcreator site lured me into a life of sin! What a fool I've been, writing those blasphemous comics... No, the comics were funny. You just used the site continuously for a year, and never sent Brad a cent. Damn freeloaders.

 

CC 85: A Simple Strip Site- Save Yourself! by BigEvilDan 12-08-01
Did you know that if you died RIGHT NOW, you would be sent to Hell? That's right. Chances are, you've engaged in at least one of the following sins, each punishable by an eternity in the depths of Hell: speaking in l33t, sodomizing a donkey... ...writing a stupid nail-in-head comic, creating an assraping robot, using the phase "all your base are belong to us", accidentally submitting the "asian girl punchline", using a vowel, using all caps	Are you ready to be saved? If the random bible quotes have convinced you that this is a piece of intellectual literature; if you've been led to feel guily for using this bandwidth... ...if you've decided to make a positive difference to the internet, keep reading. If you've decided an eternity of torment is not for you, there ARE ways to be saved.	How can I be saved? Tell me! Please! Stop holding out on me, dammit!! Salvation is just a few steps away. To prevent a life of eternal torment, just do the following: Send Brad money; proofread you comics once in a while; avoid border resizing... ...send Brad money; don't ask for a review of your comics, then complain when we don't understand your in-jokes and fart humour; send Brad money. Follow these steps, and you will be in God's light.

 

Comic Cup VII: Everyone's a Critic by BigEvilDan 12-09-01
Behold the powers of Magnifico the Magical Magician! Watch as my powers of telekinesis-- Check out those stupid pajamas you're wearing. You pretty much secrete "gay".	Quiet, please. I'm in the middle of my act. *ahem* Watch as my powers-- And "Magical Magician"? Isn't that a bit redundant?	Well my old nickname, "Magnifico the Magically Gay Pedophile" wasn't getting me any bookings. Wow. I was about to say you suck more than a leech. I didn't know how right I was.

 

Final Exam by BigEvilDan 12-09-01
"Use the Huffman tree above to decode this string." Seems simple enough.	D...E...A...D...B...E...D... Dead BED? But I'm BED!	I'd like to think that's just a coincidence, but I've read the rest of the questions...

 

The Plan: Part 2 by BigEvilDan 12-09-01
But the robot had nothing to do... ?????	...so they added some young boys in blue. The cop-out they'll see! It's just not funny.	WE'LL BE REAMED BY THOSE PIGS GABE AND BOO!

 

CC 85: Jesus Loves You by BigEvilDan 12-10-01
So let me get this straight. Jesus loves me. That's right. Jesus loves everybody, and will send you to heaven if you believe.	And homosexuality is a sin. A horrible sin. Gays will spend an eternity in hell.	So how come Jesus gets to love other guys, but nobody else does? He died for your sins, okay? Cut him a little slack!

 

Comic Cup VII - Latin All the Way to the Bank by BigEvilDan 12-12-01
Stan's Auto Repair. How can I help you? I seem to be having some engine troubles. I need them fixed.	You're going to need a whole new graviton generator for the rotor turbines. I'll need to order one from Japan. Should cost about $900, plus labour. You haven't even looked at my car! What makes you think I'm going to pay that much?	Cogito ergo dumb. "I think you're an idiot." Well, anyone who uses Latin must know what they're talking about. I'll go get my checkbook.

 

CC 85: Jesus Loves You, Part 2 by BigEvilDan 12-12-01
Okay, clear up something else for me. Jesus said "Whatever you do to the least of my children, you do unto me" or something, right? Something along those lines, yes.		So doesn't that mean he's getting laid 24/7? Well, he does live in Heaven...

 

CC 86 - Dial "R" for Rules by BigEvilDan 12-13-01
Hi. We're here to introduce the next comic contest. This contest will challenge your ability to give personality to a character that has none.	The phone prop will be taking the place of one of your characters. It's your job to do this as seamlessly as possible. With a maximum amount of humour, naturally.	Of course, none of the characters are allowed to acknowledge that the phone is actually a phone. I know I'm not the phone. It must be you!

 

CC 7: Clancy Physics by BigEvilDan 12-16-01
One day in the Old West So I says, "Them high-tech explosives ain't gonna assasinate the president by themselves." Ha, ha!	Wait, that isn't funny. It's just evil.	Let's just pretend that was an evil laugh, then. Works for me.

 

CC 89: Attack of the 'Dromes by BigEvilDan 1-02-02
Star Wars awe!	Critics were strongly divided in their opinions about Star Wars Episode 2.	Was raw rats!

 

CC 89 - Star Trek: Ert Rats by BigEvilDan 1-04-02
Captain Palin, what has happened to you? I am Palin of Borg. Resistance is futile.	A "palin-drone", sir? That is a terrible pun, and it does not even comply with the rules. Rules are irrelevant. We will not comply. This contest will adapt to service us.	But you have complied, sir. This comic contains 331 individual single-letter palindromes. Stop resisting! It's time to show your pointy-eared, logical ass how futile that is.

 

CC 90: One panel, Twenty-six rules by BigEvilDan 1-04-02
RAAR!! I'M AN KILLER DOLL FROM SOME JAPANESE MOVIE!! HOW DARE THE AUTHOR GIVE ME THIS MILD, UNSATISFYING BURRITO!!! I WANT A NEW ONE...AND SOON!! I'M WARNING YOU DAN!!!!		That many rules in a single panel? I have a bad feeling about this.

 

More Sloth: Stealing the Ideas of Others by BigEvilDan 1-08-02

 

CC 91: Sloth (and the One Deadly Sinner) by BigEvilDan 1-08-02
RAAR!! WORSHIP ME OR I WILL KILL YOU AND STEAL YOUR THINGS, JUST LIKE I DID TO MY PARENTS AND NEIGHBOUR!! Uh...	THEN I'LL LIE TO THE POLICE ABOUT IT, BUT RETURN ON SUNDAY TO BURN DOWN YOUR--what is it? Those are the ten commandments, not the deadly sins. Have you even read the bible?	My...uh..dog ate it. Sure. You just can't handle anything without large pictures, can you?

 

CC 92: Vanity Mirror by BigEvilDan 1-12-02
What the hell happened to you? I spent some of the inheritance on a makeover. What do you think of my new look?		I find it creepy in more ways than I can count. You're just jealous that I'm now the beautiful one.

 

CC 92: ...But It Can Rent It For A Long Time. by BigEvilDan 1-12-02
So, what are you spending your share of the dough on? I'm going to buy happiness.		Uh, haven't you ever heard the expression-- Don't bother. Once I've purchased the rights to that cliche, everything else will fall into place.

 

CC 92: Upgrades... by BigEvilDan 1-12-02
So, what kind of features does this expensive new server have? It should be faster and more reliable, for starters. It's also got a vibrate mode.	A vibrate mode? Oh yeah. And that's just the tip of the iceberg...	Elsewhere... \/\/|-|@+ |)0 j00 w@|\|+?!!!!1 I'm the new web server for stripcreator.com. You and I are going to have a long... talk...about proofreading.

 

CC 92: Cowboy Accountants by BigEvilDan 1-12-02
One day at the ranch... So I says "With this much dough, them rotor turbines COULD generate gravitons by themselves!"		Aren't you going to laugh? I think we can afford a new joke now, Clem. It's time to let go.

 

CC 93: Bad Ad by BigEvilDan 1-17-02
Now it's time for us to rhyme. Now we are rhyming...uh... because it's time.	It's shaving cream that's better than slime. Something something something crime.	Burma Shave. Because if you're too lazy to come up with six decent rhymes, you definitely want shaving to be easy. [Silent impersonation of a wind chime] That guy over there, he's a mime.

Showing page 6.

« Previous Next »