All comics by Spankling

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by Spankling
10-15-01

 

by Spankling
10-18-01
It must be something in the way she moves with such amazing grace.
Oh no.. not the expanding man again.
Say, west hollywood girl, Wanna play with the jack of speed?
Don't pull that Cousin Dupree act on me! I'm gonna go almost gothic on yer ass!
But... I was born to be with you.
Sorry about the burnt lips and the flattened brain. But you made me grim to the brim. You aint touchin this little beaver.

 

by Spankling
10-19-01
*snif* I feel so... USED!
And how do you think I feel? You're the one with the stinky fingers but I have to talk like gutter trash for their amusement!
Get real you little slut! You LOVED it!!
And you don't like being used?
Okay. It gets me hot. Beat me!
In your dreams.

 

by Spankling
10-19-01
Hammered wirthling's mom? #### Greased the ass for wirthling?
Check. #### Check.
So what else is there to do?
We could start using the forumuser gabe to be us.
You guys need anyone to run a marathon or fist a donkey or something?
I think not.

 

by Spankling
10-19-01
WELCOME TO MILENNIUM FIGHT AND FIGHT US ARMY, MAGOT!!!
Thanks. So, where do I sign up to suck dick?
HERE AT MILENIUM FIGHT AND FIGHT US ARMY WE DON'T SUCK DICK!!!
Really? Not at all? Or do you just mean you're bad at it?
I THINK SOMEONE'S LOOKING FOR KP DUTY!
KP? As in Krack Pounder? Yeah, I can do that too.

 

by Spankling
10-19-01
Gabe? Can you hear me Gabe? Asiangirl1, can you break through to his panel?
If it was a splitter, maybe. But break through this?
Can't keep sane much longer! Even a session with TOBOR couldn't be this bad!
Yeah! Finally out to the other side. I think I've kicked it. Things are looking up!
Get ready for WWIII son! You look ready to serve!

 

by Spankling
10-20-01
...never having to explain what you were doing with that giant red robot the night before.
This will look good on TOBOR's resume!

 

by Spankling
10-20-01
...Never having to explain what you were doing with that red robot the night before.
TOBOR take little charub like plane entering WTC! Not even Special Forces could do so much damage!

 

by Spankling
10-22-01
But sir! I like my hair!
Sorry, fag. No haircut. No job. You don't like it go cry to the ASPCA or whatever.
Hurray! The ACLU just defended my right to collect a fin for every blow job I hand out on the street!
Well... at least she's employed.
Jesus! I just want to be a flag waving conservative with long hair. Is that so wrong?
Sorry, fag. No haircut. No worship.

 

by Spankling
10-23-01
*brrrrring*
Jesus! Not again!.... he--- hello? Fooferkitty?
Fooferkitty? Fuck no. This is Bin Laden. I'm calling about the ad for a roommate. It says you have a nice secure cave.
Sure! Why don't you stop by around 6:00? See you then.
Now if I can get W to show up at the same time, I'll lock them both in this tomb together!

 

by Spankling
10-25-01
The idea that sending forces in and killing Bin Laden...
I think it's naive to believe that pulling negative western influence out of the middle east would deter Muslim fundamentalists...
The idea that sending forces in and killing Bin Laden...
I think it's naive to believe that pulling negative western influence out of the middle east would deter Muslim fundamentalists...
Hey, look! Something shiny!
ohhhh...

 

by Spankling
10-26-01
Good evening and welcome to Manrape Theatre. I am your host, Tobor. Our story tonight begins in the lush countryside_of_rural_America.
This version has been edited of course to bring our viewers just the portion of the film they find most fulfilling. And_now_sit_back_and_enjoy…
Deliverance
He looking mighty good in them jeans, ain't he pa!
Hush up an' pass the bottle boy. I better star'lize that bleedin' on his rump.

 

by Spankling
10-27-01
Really?!?
Okay... take em off and let me see a comparison.

 

by Spankling
10-30-01
It has come to our attention that there are a lot of mistreated animals out there. To be blunt, we have been moved to do something about it.
That's right, Gabe. As leaders in this virtual community we have taken it upon ourselves to help right this wrong.
But where to begin? It seems like there is so much to do and so little time. We had to focus.
And that is why today we open the home for wayward donkeys.
You were expecting maybe little flack jackets for toads?

 

by Spankling
11-01-01
Dum... da dee... WHAT?!? That is the biggest pile of smoldering hash I've seen since 1967-1978!
Dum... da dee... *cough*

 

by Spankling
11-01-01

 

by Spankling
11-02-01
So what do we do now?
*snicker*
What?
Remember our prom night, when you got lit up on Maddog 20/20 and embarrassed me in front of my friends?
(She reaches forward an grabs her husband's rack.)
No.
You did this... HONK! ...... Wow. Those things are big and ripe.... how much of that stuff do you have left?

 

by Spankling
11-04-01
You were pretty confident of your defeat in this one, weren't you?
Oh yes! I had it in the crapper from the gate.
Must have been relaxing.
About the same, really. But at least you dropped out of the Cup as my opponent, so maybe I have a chance there.
Oh I don't actually need to submit something to defeat you.
How true *wink*

 

by Spankling
11-04-01
What?!?!
Just waitin for the green light before I cross. You mind?

 

by Spankling
11-04-01
The green dragon and the gray master faced each other on the bridge of the ship; both frozen in terror! Their worlds hung in the balance! Who would make the first move?
Finally the dragon attacked! His great bulk sent the ship tipping out of orbit! They collided with the second moon and upset the balance of that entire spiral galaxy! Everything perished.
The end.
Do you expect me to go offline after that story? Tell me the one about the Mainframe that cried backup and restore!

 

by Spankling
11-05-01
Keep walking... Keep walking...
beep... chichering... beep...
Keep walking... Keep walking...
beep... Say, aren't you...
NO!

 

by Spankling
11-06-01
o/` I love little pussy her coat is so warm... o/`
Whoa... back off Samson!
But I'm just singing about my pussy!
None of that in THIS contest!
Wait. Did you say YOUR pussy? Carry on, Daddy.

 

by Spankling
11-06-01
C:\
Tell me again about the old days!
C:\dir
File Not Found
*shudder* Grandpa?

 

by Spankling
11-06-01

 

by Spankling
11-06-01
You girls like being two to a box?
I'm not going to say it.

 

by Spankling
11-07-01
Oh my, little girl! What do you like to do for fun?
Mostly I like to tease old hag-men like you into a frenzy and then leave them flat.
Do tell!
I think I'll let you give me a barium enema and then drip it out onto your ice cream while I recite dialogue from every episode of Full House. You will recite it back as_you_eat_the_ice_cream.
REALLY?!?
Fuck no. Bye!

 

by Spankling
11-08-01
Everything is ready. Are you sure you have the stuff to pleasure me? I've seen more exciting packages on the UPS truck.
But none of those pack the wallop my package can. And I can take it as good as I give. You wanna mount first? Where to?
The best spot for that would be under the kitchen sink. You can pretend to be the plumber.
Kitchen tile makes my ass squeak. Got any other ideas?
Sink down, my man, and get busy right here!
Check. We can put on a show for the kids in the school across the street.

 

by Spankling
11-12-01
Captain Uterus pays a call on Lara7 to get to the bottom of her travels and what happened to laras 1-6.
Yes?
In San Francisco it is now illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear. AND (believe it or not ) giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited._Care_to_explain?
That's all behind me now! I've moved on!!
To Louisiana, where it is now illegal to shoot bank tellers with water guns. OR to tie an alligator to a fire hydrant. OR for a woman to drive a car unless her husband waves a flag in front of it.
HEY! That car was a functional piece of ART!
And here I find you in Columbus, Ohio, where merchants may no longer sell Cornflakes on Sunday. What were you thinking, Lara7… or will this conversation cause you to invent Lara8?

 

by Spankling
11-13-01
You bastard!
Say... I just realized I can experience multiple O's now! Wanna get busy?
Sure. Why not?
Just a minute... I gotta find everything... So how do I work this bod?
Oh sure! Now you're interested! NOW you'll bother to find out what turns on a woman!
Those tentacles look interesting...

 

by Spankling
11-13-01
Hey!? Is this thing on?
It has come to my attention that Britney has recorded Joan Jett's "I Love Rock N' Roll." In response I would like to quote Joan.
What_happened_to_my_heroes They_seemed_to_disappear The_idols_keep_on_singin' But_they_don't_sound_sincere Oh_woe_is_me, oh_woe_is_me

 

by Spankling
11-14-01
I'm getting outa this tank if I have to bust out!
That was the fastest fish I've ever seen.

 

by Spankling
11-15-01
You're a lovely lady, Mrs. Farmer.
and last night was all good getting blind pissed with you until you pulled the shiv.
But how many times we gotta tell you, we aint mice!
Okay... I see it your way now. And I'm sorry about the tails thing. So why don't you fellows drop the gats?

 

by Spankling
11-15-01
May I help you?
I'm robbin' this here bank! Put all yer deposits in the bag, pronto!
*snicker* Uhh.. I don't *snicker* HAW! HAHAHAHAHA!
What's so funny lady? don't make me blow yer head off!
Sir, this is a sperm bank.
A sperm bank? Really? I'll be damned! Well how 'bout you bend over and let me make a deposit, then?

 

by Spankling
11-16-01
TOBOR TOBOR mechanical tube butt-banged wirthling without a lube.
When gabe_billings asked for some TOBOR roared and ripped his bum.
Nice try Spanks. Lara7 already posted a Georgie Porgie strip. Too late bringing it on again.
Yeah. Go wipe that anal-eeze off your lips and try being original.

 

by Spankling
11-17-01
Hello. My name's Spankling and I'm an assclown.
Hi Spankling!
I started craving ass when I was 12 or so. And I found I got more of it if I dressed like this.
We've all been there, pal!
Now I feel like the lowest - except for people who can't figure out how to post comics.
Got that right!

 

by Spankling
11-19-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
I told her we weren't normal enough to breed. That only decent, god-fearing people should be allowed to have children.

 

by Spankling
11-19-01
My boyfriend says his maternal cock it throbbing.
I told him if he tried anything without protection I'd make sure he was the one that wound up swollen and in pain.
Ready, darling!

 

by Spankling
11-19-01
My maternal clock is ticking.
Have you tried a slower clock speed? What time zone are you set for? I know of a Y2K specialist that might be able to help.

 

by Spankling
11-19-01
What are you doing home from work so early?
Jerry Falwell showed up and started causing a scene, claiming to be the messenger of god. There were TV cameras and lights...
Are you going to be on TV? What happened?
He came into our bread shop and started throwing AOL CDs everywhere saying they were Satan's bagels.
For once I agree with him. But I bet he disturbed the other customers.
Not as much as when one of the CDs slipped into my CD tray and made me eat 2 customers until someone hit the eject button.

 

by Spankling
11-21-01
Remember my followers! No one gets into heaven unless they believe in me, Paul the Mighty! Oh, and they have to give me money on a regular basis.
I used to take stock options, but now I prefer cash.
Blessed_are_those_who mourn, For they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are...
You're a secular humanist, aren't you!
I can hang with that.

 

by Spankling
11-21-01
You're a lucky man Jeb. You got your farm, your health, and just the prettiest wife in these here parts. So tall and leggy... *drool* I declare she looks good in those denim shorts she struts around..
NOW you just hold on Mr. Whiplash! you keep your eyes and hands off my Sally, you hear me?!?
Take it easy old man. Calm down. On another note, do you have the loan money this month? Your as far in debt as I can let you go...
Well, now... that's what I came here to talk about.. See... The beans are a mght late this year...
Yeah... She sure looks good in them shorts. I like to watch her when she's feedin the chickens... The way her hips swing as she walks...
Yeah. The beans... Uhm. You see the rain has... Oh Crap. I'll go tell Sally to wash up and come on down.

 

by Spankling
11-21-01
You asked to see me Mr. Whiplash?
Oh my yes... But call me Snydley. My you're a tall, cool drink of water, Sally.
Welll... thank you Mr. Whip... Snydley. What was it you wanted to see me about?
You are such a sweet young girl and Jeb is such a cranky old stiff. Have you ever wondered what else was out there? Have you ever considered playing the field?
You've been talking to our donkey, haven't you!
Well, no, I... *snerk*

 

by Spankling
11-21-01
So, you filthy old degenerate! you thought you could corner me into putting out just because you hold the mortgage on our farm?!?
And why not!?! You put out for Jeb and his crap smeared donkey to boot! What makes me so repulsive?
It's your approach! Jeb and his donkey are honest and loving. And have you seen the meat they tote? I swear Jeb has that beast beat by 7 inches!
I'll let you use my head...
Grease it?
DEAL!

 

by Spankling
11-21-01
Poor Sally succumbs to family loyalty and lets Snydley have his way for the sake of the farm.
Uh! Uh! Uh! OOOOHHH! YEAH! UH GOD!
*BANG* mmmmfff *BANG* mmmmfff
She throws her own needs to the wind and... uhm...
OOOOHHH! OOOOHHH! OOOOHHH! OOOOHHH!
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
What is she doing to that poor man's head?
GOD JESUS FUCK YEAH!
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

 

by Spankling
11-21-01
The Next Day
You okay Sally, darlin'?
Never better honey. I'm just gonna check up on the donkey for a couple hours.
Well I'll be. She looks fresh as a daisy. I am one lucky man to have such a caring woman. So are we even, Mr. Whiplash?
Oh yeah. By the way, here's your deed. Sally made me promise to hand it over before she would stop.
Thanks! What a happy ending!

 

by Spankling
11-26-01
What-cha readin'?
Says here: "Celebrations at the pig-killing party in Darvaspuszta took a turn for the worse..."
*snicker*
"...when an unnamed visiting Croatian man shocked himself to death..."
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Stop! You're killing me!
"...while trying to knock out a pig with a homemade electric pig stunner."

 

by Spankling
11-27-01
I can smell your fingers from here.
he he

 

by Spankling
11-27-01
ROAAAAARRR!
That's right! Squeal like the stuck pig you are! You'll take it and like it!
AAAHHHH!
OOPSIE! Was my climax to much friction for you? Suffer bitch.
*whimper*
Well... back to work. Pull yourself together, my pet.

 

by Spankling
11-27-01
Time to check out world events.
http://www.dailyrotten.com/ "The almighty GOD held a conference today declaring these to be the end days. He will begin destroying the earth without the predicted fanfare of Revelations."
WHAT!?! That prick wouldn't dare! Earth is MY TOY!
"Hell freezing over will be the first sign of the coming end."
*brrrrr* If I pull much harder I'll snap this nipple right off!
"After which he will send in his son to clean up."

 

by Spankling
11-27-01
Little Earth, Little Earth, Let ME COME IN!
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin.
All right. Who invited you?

Showing page 6.

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