All comics by southlondon

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by southlondon
6-08-06
It's good we're finally saving the others. I was just getting used to a lifetime without yas.
I thought you said you thought Evil Pete was bluffing and we were really OK?
Yeah. Well it got me thinking. I'm always gonna come back. Whenever I go to leave the pub after a particularly nasty slur,
Nice bit of allegory, people.
or I start packing my bags early in Worthing after a horrific prank from Chris and Sean, I'll always come back.
That's because deep down, you love us all really.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
*-He's the one not tied up, before anyone starts whinging that I couldn't have known that.
Ok Mr Evil* Peter, now me and Robyn (well, mostly Robyn) are here, we're gonna level the score a bit.
For anyone not familiar with cartoons, this simply means that the severe arse-kicking in this scene couldn't be shown on the grounds of extreme violence.
Okay, that's Evil Peter knocked out, the other evil variations are behind that door.
Damnit, there goes the audience thinking I helped beat up 7 people!

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
Chris? This is Neil. The good Neil. I'm here to untie you.
How do I know you're not the evil Neil luring us into another trap?
Good point. Go on, I'll prove it to you.
Okay. "I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light..."
Damn you, motherfucker.
Neil! It's really you!

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
Here is what happened in this scene: The Good opposites from our world snuck into the room where the evil incarnations were and took them by surprise.
The evil incarnations, taken by surprise, fled towards their inter-dimensional portal, each one in their evilness hoping to make sure they got in before the portal closed.
Now I could have told you that through those stupid little action bubble things, but my readers are slightly more high brow than that. Aren't you?

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
At the portal gate...
Curse you, opposites! One day I shall return and kill you all!
It was your fault we failed the mission.
Shut up
Your wha....
Come on Robyn! I'm not going back without my maid!

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
Back at the newly refurbished and anti-oxygen sealed William IV...
Right gang, our priotity is this: We need to find a way to open up another portal and defeat our evil selves.
Yeah, but before that, it's your round.
Oh yeah, sorry.
I'll get them, Master.
Did you just call me 'Master?' Uh oh.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
I can't believe it! We have the wrong Robyn!
That means she's in the parallel dimension.
Do you think they've hurt her?
How well do you know Robyn? She'll have conquered their world by now.
Right, she's been there six hours. That means she'll have already taken over, thrown Evil Neil and Evil Pete in the dungeons, and there'll be a statue of her in every major city by the morning.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
You lot, can you imagine how much that world is gonna suffer under Robyn? We have to bring her back. That can be our quest instead.
Right. Well, the thing about that is...how can I put this...me and Sean aren't coming with you.
WHAT?
Well, we both believe that our adventures have stopped being about what's most important to us: The Crack.
'Lady in Red' by Chris De Burgh plays in the background. Partly because it fits the emotion in this scene, partly because I CANT GET THAT FUCKING SONG OUT OF MY HEAD!
We're gonna go on a journey. A long journey. And we don't think we're coming back. Farewell comerades.
Come on spinoff buddy, we've got soul searching to do.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
In Robyn's new royal palace...
So Chris and Sean are finally getting their own spinoff? Good for them.
Farewell comerades!
Good for me as well! I mean, I've landed on my feet here. I feel like a nice evil laugh. One that'll echo everywhere and force the camera to do an external shot of my magnificant evil palace. MWAHAHA!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
...So you're really leaving? For good?
Yep. We have to search for the crack far and wide.
I'll miss you guys. I mean, you weren't exactly angelic to me, but I'll still miss ya.
Oh and Neil? Always remember. We'll be back to help you when you need it most. Not before, not after. Only then.
Ooh, emphatic. Mystic, even.
Well, we gotta go now.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
I'm gonna miss you, Sean.
I'm gonna miss you. Hey, if you die on your quest to bring Robyn home and beat your evil self, can I have your avatar?
For the last time, NO! And it doesn't look more like you.
Damn. Anyway, we have to go.
I really am gonna miss you, despite everything. Hey, is that a tear in your eye?
No, it's....I mean yes, it's a tear. I'm-er-crying.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
Right Bruce. It's just you, me, Tony, Jade and Peter left to carry out our various quests.
Yep.
So how should we start?
Dunno
Wanna go to the pub?
Sounds good.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
Well folks, yet another adventure is over and so is a great legacy. The Chris and Sean spinoff 'In Search of the Crack' will start soon, and so will our new reality adventure.
The Reality Adventures Movie is on hold until I can find the infernal disk but as usual, I have a new reality adventure to fill the gap.
However folks, I'm gonna take a short break from these adventures, just for a few days, and give you something unique.

 

by southlondon
6-08-06
My new strip will be strictly non-canon. It will NOT be a continuation of the series, it will be a reimagining of the series, not concerning itself with anything that has happened in the series.
All of our characters will be as they once were, on our earth, together. The story will have no effect on the reality adventures.
Ladies and gentlemen I present...SouthLondon's Tales from the Crypt. Coming soon to a Stripcreator near you!

 

by southlondon
6-09-06
What the fuck is wrong with us, Bruce? It's been four days and the only place we've been looking for a portal is in the bottom of a pint glass.
Bottom of a coke glass in my case.
*-It's actually true. And I really am proud of you!
Yep, we're all very proud of you giving up drinking for you fitness, Andrew*
Look, it's time we started searching properly. If we leave it any longer, Robyn will be so power crazed she'll probably have US killed. Let's GO! Now!
I gotta do a slash first.
Fair play. We'll go in a few hours.

 

by southlondon
6-10-06
Well Pete, the game is on. We're gonna go back to that abandoned offie tomorrow morning and check for anything that can open the portal.
Tomorrow morning huh? What's wrong with right now?
"Well Lucy, I was thinking"...I mean, I'm just tired.
What's with the Lucy?
Dr. Cox from Scrubs is my new life role model. It's not the first time I've tried to live my life by a fictional character.
Okaay...

 

by southlondon
6-13-06
Look mufin, all I'm saying is that we should be out there now looking for that portal.
Ok. After Resident Evil.
And are you gonna give that game back any time soon? I really think Neil wants to play it.
Ok. After Resident Evil.
TWO MINUTES TONY!
After Re...aw.

 

by southlondon
6-13-06
Right team, this is the wall (in heavy torchlight) where the portal to the other realm last appeared. So let's search every inch of it.
Hmm.
Two hours later...
Neil, I have an idea. Alternate Robyn is quite docile, right? Why not just get her to tell us how they opened the portal last time?
Good idea, Andrew, but, uh, I already thought of that.
So why'd we just spend two hours examining a wall?
Because...because I'm lying.

 

by southlondon
6-13-06
Ok Alternative Robyn. We need to know how your lot opened up the portal to our world.
Unfortunately, they never told me.
In between making me shine their shoes and fetch them non-alcoholic drinks I guess I was not considered worthy of knowing their secret. That reminds me; do you need a top of for your coke?
....So I was thinking, maybe we could let Robyn rule the other world and keep this Robyn here?
Aww come on, you know we have to save Robyn from herself.

 

by southlondon
6-13-06
In the other world, in Robyn's palace of evil...
Pah! Stupid people. They will never stop me!
Let's spend two hours scaling a wall that used to have a portal!
Pardon me your Highness but who are you talking to?
No one, you fool, it's a villain's soliliquay. Like in Fantastic Voyage when the bad guy says "I'm not really going to defuse the bomb, I'm going to detonate it!" Into the camera.
So you are a fully fledged villain now, Ma'am?
Yep, I got my Megalomaniac Club card this morning. I hear Darth Vader's doing my initiation.

 

by southlondon
6-13-06
With no leads and an infinity of time to waste, the team buys every paranormal tabloid they can find.
Here's one! "Strange lights in the sky over Dagenham, cars get swallowed"
Nah, I think that's more UFO territory than portals.
Ooh, look! Here's a picture of a three-headed man!
Try and focus Pete, for fuck's sake!
Find anything good, Alternate Robyn?
I'm sorry master, I can't read it. I've never been good at English, despite never missing a lesson.

 

by southlondon
6-13-06
Well...Sunday night at the pub. It's cool just having the five of us.
Yeah! Who's round?
Neil! What's wrong?
(Sob) it's so weird! Now Chris, Sean and Robyn have gone, I'm getting this strange feeling I haven't felt in a while. I think it's...it's...self esteem! (Sob)
Don't worry Neil! We won't let our friend suffer like that. A few below-the-belt digs and you'll be right back to normal!
You're a good mate, Tony.

 

by southlondon
6-15-06
Hey Pete, I have an idea. Portals are pretty paranromal, right?
I suppose so. Why?
Well, no one's more up on the old theoretics than the religious. So why don't we get the council of some religious leaders?
Oh, you mean like Father Richard from the Parish church in Anerley?
I was thinking more along the lines of the Pope and the Dalai Lhama.
You're thinking big, good for you!

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
Hey, much respect, Reverend Jesse Jackson. Glad you could meet me here.
Thas' alright, mah brotha, anythin' fur a Christian. Now what's on ya mind?
Well, I'm not exactly Chri...never mind. Anyway, I need your help. I'm looking for a portal to another dimension. The fate of a lot of people depend on it. Is there anything in the bible about it?
My young brotha...you have to REEEJECT the influence of the drugs and come ter the payath of the Lawad!
No, Reverend, I'm not on drugs. I'm telling the truth about the portals. But thanks for your time.
The Lord be with you, Child

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
The Dalai Lama! Thank you for coming.
Speak, please, my friend.
Thanks. Me and my friends need to find a portal to another dimension. As a man of wisdom I was hoping you'd be able to help.
UG! Damn you kids and your silly pranks. One day I'm a tear you a new arsehole.
Really? I heard you Buddhists were pacifists?
Fuck that bullshit, we say it to impress tourists. You fuck with me motherfucker and I'll rip your fucking arms off! Fucker!

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
George Bush? You're not a religious leader!
Yeas I ayam, ah may nawt have mah own religion but ah am a strawng Chreestian.
Well whatever. Do you know how I could summon a portal to another realm?
Sheeyat, ah see portals all thuh tahm. Maynd yew, ah am on cowecaine most of ther tahm.
You're the leader of the free world. You really shouldn't have admitted that to me.
Well heyall l'il laydee, ah'm on cocaine raight now! A'll give yew some! Ah cayan't stop snortin the stuff!

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
Our Lord Jesus Christ? I wasn't expecting to get an audience with you!
I am always there for those who need me, my child.
Lord...do you know a way to open a portal to a parallel dimension?
Are you referring to the Opposite Dimension? We call it the Htrae. I can open you up a portal right now.
Jesus? What are you doing?

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
Father...I am helping one of your flock.
My Son, we cannot interfere in the affairs of people. It is not right.
But Father, many people's lives depend on this. They are under threat from an evil tyrant.
If we were to help out, we would be interfering with free will.
I am sorry, my child. Orders from above.
That's alright. At least we know what it's called.

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
It sure is good to get out in the open road eh, driving buddy?
Oh yeah! Wind in my hair, big bear in the seat next to me.
Hey, what's with the blue background?
Ah. Well my Golf is blue, (although a different shade) and since the artist cycled through every background and decided there was no better backdrop for car, we decided to have it like this.
So when there's a blue background, it's like a universal sign for us driving.
Yeah. That way, the audience doesn't know where we're going.

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
What are we doing here, Sean?
Well, I had a thought. We both met in Rigby, right? And while the Crack wasn't invented there, that's where we laid down the foundations.
Such a shame this place is closing down. I mean, it was a shithole, but it was OUR shithole.
What the...who's that?
Mr Stanley? Is that you?
Food? You...have...food?

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
Shortly...
...so after I got thrown out of Rigby for being a liar and a coward, I became a deputy head at another school. But the problem was, I kept lying and protecting psycho kids, so I got thrown out o there
So I took stock, and decided that my greatest talents were lying and manipulating facts.
So what did you do?
I became a politician, of course.

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
But you're not a politican any more?
No. I was too scummy even by their standards. I couldn't get another job. I lost my house, became homeless, grew my hair long and started living in the school.
That's sad.
Sean, I was your head for years. Surely you can spare a few quid? It'll be the first time in two weeks I'll be able to eat.
"Did I give him any money?" Hell no. He was useless!
I got that beat. Not only did I not give him money, I STOLE the few pennies he had. Now he'll die of hunger!

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
Back at the Portal Force base, AKA Neil's front room...
Hmm...(type type type) nah sorry Bruce, there's nothing on Google for Htrae.
Why would it be called Htrae anyway?
It's Earth spelled backwards. Pretty clever, eh?
Shall I hide the excessive amount of porn you've downloaded from your friends, sir?

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
On Planet Htrae...
Hmm, I need a coke. Slaves? SLAVES?
Ahem...they are gone, your Majesty.
Gone? What do you mean they're GONE?
They escaped. And it gets worse. They took the portal-making machine with them.
I hope that portal machine gets going soon. Our other-world heros need a good Deus Ex Machina.

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
2AM and Neil is asleep...
Other world Neil! Wake up!
What the...it's you...oh for FUCK'S SAKE! I haven't bothered Robyn, I haven't insulted her in any way, why does shes still want to torture me?
No no, you have it all wrong. We're not trying to capture you. We're trying to aid your quest.
Pull the other one, sunshine. I wasn't born yesterday.
I had a feeling you'd be like this. Guys, grab him.

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
On Planet Htrae, in the barren wasteland that was once London...
So let me get this straight. You were ONCE working for Robyn, but now you're part of the Resistance against her?
Yeah. Once we've rounded the others up from the other world we'll take you to our hideout.
What I wanna know is, why? I mean, sure, you were slaves, but you were trying to rule the world anyway. You had the new dictator's ear. Why do you want to go back to democracy?
You know it's funny. With Peter, we were all what you would call 80s Supervillains. You know, shrink rays, always revealing our plans to the hero, you know what I mean? Stupid stuff.
Well anyway, we had this great stalemate going on with MI6. Mutual respect. We knew we'd never take over the world, they knew they'd never catch us.

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
I get it. Sort of like a Bond-Blofeld thing. Who was the agent that constantly thwarted your plans?
Jonathan Avis. The suavest human being on the planet. We could never stand up to him. It's a shame, because as soon as Robyn took over, she had him killed.
That makes sense. I do get it, you were like Batman and the Joker. Nothing was ever said, but once in a while you could tell that they actually had a deep respect for each other.
"Nothing was ever said?" Actually, it was on the contrary. We used to exchange Christmas Cards with the MI6 office staff. Sometimes we'd be invited to weddings.
And when Robyn took over, the whole Villain-Hero relationship got discarded. And that's why you wanna start again.
Pretty much, yeah. And don't forget,we were slaves.

 

by southlondon
6-16-06
In Robyn's evil palace...
Stupid bloody TV. Why can't I watch my friends any more?
It's not the TV, Majesty. Your friends aren't on the box because...well...they've come through the portal.
Ah, have they? Well, this game just got...interesting.
Is that an "I'm about to give an evil laugh" smile?
You better believe it. Open the windows, I want everyone to hear.

 

by southlondon
6-19-06
Good morning Rufus. Don't mind me, I was just brainstorming about how to make Alternative Neil's life even more unpleasant.
Well your Majesty, I bring bad news. The election's coming up and you're not exactly tipped to win. I don't know why...the people just don't like being oppressed.
Election? Ha ha, that's funny. Oh wait, you're serious! Rufus, let me explain to you how this whole "dictatorship" thing works. I rule. They obey. If anyone objects, they vanish. Get the picture?
A union strike? How long did it last?
About twenty minutes. It was either get back to work or have their families tortured and killed.

 

by southlondon
6-19-06
Back in London...
So what does the Resistance do, exactly?
We distribute anti-government leaflets to the working classes in the hope they'll join up with us.
That's it?
Pretty much.
Neil noted how modest and self-depreciating this new Chris was
Oh, we fire Rocket Propelled Grenades into government buildings, but it's easier than it sounds.

 

by southlondon
6-19-06
What's wrong, alternate Chris?
(Puts phone down) oh Fuckflaps! While we were here chatting, Robyn made the first move.
What happened?
Your friends, Neil. They took your friends.
Damn it! Alright other Chris, take me to your rebel base. We've got a world to save.
Although I am perfectly straight, I am incredibly aroused by your bravery.

 

by southlondon
6-20-06
This is the place?
Yeah. We've turned all the lights off.
Why?
Well, you see, Robyn reads this comic as well, so if she knows the top secret location of our base, she'll come for us.
Very clever.
Careless graphics cost lives.

 

by southlondon
6-20-06
So, alternative Sean, what do you do here?
I'm responsible for helping the families of those killed by death squads.
Wow, that's quite a position.
Yeah, it only helps that I'm a compassionate, wonderful and magnificent human being.
Where's your toilet?
It's over there. I hardly ever use it-I have an irrational fear of my own shit. Weird, huh?

 

by southlondon
6-21-06
This is our grand exalted leader, Super Graham.
Graham...you're not gonna believe this, but in the other world you used to be my boss.
...So then what happened?
I dunno. He just kept pointing at me and yelling "CUNT!" Over and over.

 

by southlondon
6-21-06
Ms. McCabe? Ooh, have I been wating for this!
What do you mean?
Oh right, alternative. So what do you do here?
I organise the Resistance's funds.
Because you're ultra-trustworthy...I see.
Yeah. I'm also president of the Slimmer's Club.

 

by southlondon
6-21-06
Ray Winstone? Hey, alright, we have Ray Winstone! If there's anyone you can't tear a new arsehole for, I haven't met them.
(Soft, feminine voice) I don't know what you're talking about.
Shit. So you're NOT the star of Nil by Mouth, Final Cut and Sexy Beast?
No, you're thinking of Hugh Grant. I'm a patron of romantic comedies.
Uh...Mr Grant?
Whad'you fucking want, you fucking slag?

 

by southlondon
6-21-06
"Doctor Dorian, please get me an EKG for this patient. And I just want to know how much I respect you as a Doctor." "Shut up Cox, you can go and get the EKG. I'm on a break!"
"What's wrong, Phil?" "It's Ian Beale again. He's threatening me. He's gonna break my legs!"
In all fairness, your TV sucks.
Hell, why do you think we plot against Robyn all day?

 

by southlondon
6-23-06
I can't believe it. Slags. the lot of em. Total slags. Robyn shows em a bit of prestige, they go for it like dogs.
I know. They sold their souls.
We need to go for Robyn, and soon. I'm sick of beating around the bush, we need to get her back through the portal. Or eventually, you're all gonna be slaves as well.
But we have no clear leader! No one can lead us to victory.
Where's non-evil Neil?
He's building one of those World War 2-style mini-battlefields in the staff room. I think he wants to be Winston Churchill.

 

by southlondon
6-23-06
Hey, Asian girl number one.
Hey, otherworld Neil.
So, you're a complete opposite of the two default Asian girls in our world?
Yep, I...hold that thought, someone's making a comic!
I wonder if this one'll be funny?
Shut up. Just SHUT UP!

 

by southlondon
6-23-06
Oh, my God! Jimbo, is that you?
I prefer to go by my tabloid name, the Screwdriver Killer.
Oh yeah I see...you're the complete opposite of the Jimbo of my comics, making you the perfect serial killer?
Yes, I am an infallible killing machine. That is why the rebels need me.
This panel is for my readers who don't know Jimbo, but should
You know, in our world, you're the comic character that brought me my fame as a Stripcreator artist before Reality Adventures.
Yeah. I heard that most of those stars and encouraging comments are because of Jimbo's hilarity.

Showing page 6.

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