All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
7-28-05
Dave actually persuades a MySpace girl to meet him at the Wendy's in Po'Town...
Do you love me yet?
Cripes! We just met like 5 minutes ago!
Do you love me yet?
What are you, like DESPERATE or something?
Ok, foreplay's over. Let's go to the motel and...
Bob was right! You are bloody INSANE!

 

by BobRogers
7-29-05
Girls will talk...
Did you hear about the new web site?
What new web site?
Well, you know that guy Dave? The one that was hitting on me on MySpace?
That primate? Yeah. He was hitting on me too. Trying to get me to "meet him" somewhere." Creepy.
Well, there's this new web site, http://iamwetodditiams ofaki.tripod.com/ that has all his creepy audios. Too weird!
Sound's good. Bob's blog has a hot link to it.

 

by BobRogers
7-30-05
Laboring under a misconception...
We here on the Labor Law Forum are of the belief that both "Dave" and "Bob" are the same person.
I think you're right. They are the same schitzophrenic mope arguing with himself on our board. What is he, like 12?
Notice how the one talks in complete sentences, spells his words correctly and punctuates his sentences.
Yep. That's a definite sign of mental illness. Now the other one uses the "F" word, snivels like a new convict with a freshly busted booty and craves sympathy from everyone.
So you just got done reading the Labor Law Forum?
What a bunch of dweebs. They think me and Dave are the same person. Dave thinks I don't exist. And I don't think he's a person. HA!

 

by BobRogers
7-31-05
One of the MySpace girls is unaccounted for. Tristan suspects foul play...
Has my friend Amy been here tonight? She was supposed to be here with Dave but now she's gone missing.
Nah. I haven't seen her or Dave tonight. Have you tried the new Amish restaurant ?
I tried to talk her out of meeting that maniac but she wouldn't listen. Have you seen her?
I've not seen any English girls tonight. Sorry.
I've been looking for Amy... Say, what happened here anyhow?
Dave and I had a little misunderstanding. The chick's OK, but Dave has 100 buckshot in his ass.

 

by BobRogers
8-01-05
I am here today with Doctor Seymour Hiney of the Pleasant Valley Mental Health Institute. Hola, Doc! Is it true that Message Board Dave is in that ambulance behind us?
I'm on TV?
Yes. Millions of TV vewers want to know if Message Board Dave has finally flipped his lid. Has he really become a candidate for transfer to "The Island?"
Millions of viewers?
I understand that he went berserk on a Law Forum today and had to be carted away in a straight jacket. Can you confirm any of this at all Doctor? Doctor? Doctor?
Hi Ma.

 

by BobRogers
8-03-05
The Labor Law Forum is off limits...
So the Labor Law Forum banned Dave eh?
Thing is, they banned me too. I was just getting into the whole intelligent question thing, too.
Why did they ban you? You never uttered a single swear word or raised your voice once.
Well, you know how it is when Dave starts doing that whiney baby in a diaper thing that he does.
I am soooo offended by that condescending reference. Where's the duck? I want to join the lawsuit.

 

by BobRogers
8-05-05
Dave says the magic numberis 734,104 days until he discovers the identity of his stalker.
Think it will actually take that long to figure out that no one is stalking him?
So how long has Dave been stalking you, Bob?
Feels like a lifetime.

 

by BobRogers
8-05-05
KD visits Bob at the cabin in Big Bear.
Dude, I just wanted to say thanks for plugging my new web site.
No problem, KD, how's that going anyhow?
I have had hundreds of submissions of all kinds of different stills, audios and videos. One "MySpace" girl has even been tape recording phone convos with Dave.
Um, dude, isn't that like majorly illegal?
It's OK. She says YOU told her she could do it as long as she didn't tell Dave what she was doing or that you were secretly behind it all.
This is the first I've heard about it. But what the heck. Dave blames me for the PLVY heat wave he's been having. Why not this?

 

by BobRogers
8-05-05
Bob proclaims his innocence to largely unlistening ears...
I just wanted to let everybody know that I did not authorize that girl to wiretap Dave's phone.
You have to admit though, that was some funny audio, way funnier than him threatening you or mooing like a cow
OK. I admit it was halarious when I (allegedly) listened to it. But the convo was taped without Dave knowing it or giving permission and I don't think it should be available to the public.
How is that any different from Dave making AOL convos available when people Instant Message him? He's been doing that for years.
Yeah, Bob, I'd like to hear the answer to that one myself?
Jeeze! Youse guys give me more grief than Dave does. All I'm saying is you're on your own on this one. Not that he'll believe it, but I was not consulted before the fact.

 

by BobRogers
8-07-05
Strip Creator is always on the move, technology wise...
You need to give my character a rest Bob
WHAT? And not take advantage of the powerful new tools I have discovered?
So...
you mean that this toon is really just a cheap experiment in dialog box manipulation?Not subtle, dude!
I disagree. Who better to introduce underline, Italic and line break in dialog boxes than you, my favorite student?
Well, the italic, and underline worked great but the line break thing blew up.
I knew that would happen.

 

by BobRogers
8-10-05
Dave asserts his identity
My name is not Albert
My name is not Corky, Skippy, Bunky, Roger, Romeo or Beetle Bailey.
My name is not, nor has it ever been "Bob."
And my name ESPECIALLY is not LORETTA!
You tell them, Donald!
The Urge to Kill

 

Once upon a time in America
Gas is $2.75 a gallon, The Saudi king is dead, Iraq wants nuclear bombs and my wife left me
You think you got problems? Geico cancled my car insurance!
by BobRogers, 8-11-05

 

Why do I always fuck up the landing?
by BobRogers, 8-12-05

 

by BobRogers
8-13-05
Dave's new "buddy" Mark has questions...
Man, Dave! How can you handle 15 blogs, when you can't even spell "they're?"
You've been listening to Bob (if that's his real name) again, right, Mark?
I just can't seem to find all of them. I've looked and looked but I can only find 7.
I don't HAVE 15 blogs, you MORON! Don't you see? That's how he wins people over!
So, are you ready for your full body massage yet? You seem tense.
Got ten more swear words to type. I am going to make him say the word *snip* if it's the last thing I do!

 

by BobRogers
8-13-05
Why do you get so uptight about the word "snip"?
I don't want to talk about it. Go away.
Is it because the "other" guy refuses to swear? is it because he edits your quotes?
I told you I don't want to talk about it. gNow go away!
Dave, you have to face your phobias. Look at you being friends with me, a gay sado -masochist! Anything is possible.
Look, it's a CIRCUMCISION thing. Now get lost before I have you killed.

 

by BobRogers
8-13-05
The new school year is about to begin
That means that I will be heading back to University.
I am going to miss sitting on this park bench , discussing Stalker Dave and his witty antics.
Baaaaaaaa
What does a GOAT have to do with Message Board Dave
Oh. I remember what he did to the goat now. I thought that was illegal in NY. Glad I live in the Midwest.

 

by BobRogers
8-15-05
A new book has just come on the market...
My copy of "Understanding Bob For Dummies" came in the mail just in time for the weekend. Now I understand Bob and am no longer a dummy.
Although I HATE being used for shameless promotion and self-indulgent silliness, I must admit, that was a good book.
Burn them ALL! Let JAGWIRE sort them out!
Mine was free. The guy at the store said, "HERE! JUST TAKE IT!
What the #$%^%#$@ is wrong with you people. BOB is not even his real name!

 

by BobRogers
8-26-05
Little sister gets around...
Tristan Pipo said to tell you that your music ROCKS dude.
Personally, I prefer Country Music because I can understand the words and because I like trucks.
Did I mention that I am Message Board Dave's new girlfriend?

 

by BobRogers
8-26-05
Butch has applied for a position at the Pleasant Valley Steak-A-Rama...
So you want the job of Waiter advertised in the front window?
Want job...
And you're going to be able to control yourself no matter what happens, or who gives you a hard time?
Sure. Can do.
Ok. Dave and his new girlfriend have just come through the door and are sitting down in your area. What do you do?
Carve turkey...

 

by BobRogers
8-26-05
Dave seeks the ultimate weapon...
I want to buy a 10 megaton thermonuclear suitcase bomb with a cell phone activated uranium trigger
And you came to me because...
An Internet Message Board told me that's what I need to destroy my enemy "Bob" if that's his real name.
So why ask me? I can't even buy a condem without the CIA arresting me for terrorism.
Because you're the only token Moslem extremist stereotype in all of Stripcreator.com?
Oh sure, give the 'rab a jingle, right? He's got weapons of mass destruction! For your information, I'm NORWEIGAN!

 

by BobRogers
8-28-05
On a recent vacation, Dave ran into a bit of conflict...
Go away. I'm not talking to you right now.
I don't understand. I carried you all the way to the bottom of the Grand Canyon on my back. What more could you possibly want?
I want you to delete everything about me from your blog.
I think you must have me confused with Bob. I don't even have fingers. I have hooves! How could I type a blog?
Your real name is Jason and I want you to stop writing about me! GOT IT?
You're MENTAL! And you can walk back to the top of the canyon. I'm reporting you to the Donkey's Union. Bloody slacker!

 

by BobRogers
8-30-05
Disaster time in The South...
Attention all looters in the New Orleans Area. We see you! We are the guys in the helocopters flying above your heads. We have Video Cameras!
We've declared martial law and we are getting ready to come down there and shoot you.
As soon as someone remembers where the NOPD stashed the guns...

 

by BobRogers
8-31-05
Never answer the door on a Monday...
Now let me get this straight. You're an ENGLISH teacher?
Remedial
And Dave sent you over here to teach me about subject-predicate relationships?
Dominant subject-predicate relationships
Dave will not be happy about this.

 

by BobRogers
9-01-05
Odd puppies...
Now that's something you don't see every day.
How else is a dog going to get out of downtown New Orleans?
I'm thinking that no comeback is ever going to be enough to dignify that.

 

by BobRogers
9-01-05
So theres this guy on MySpace, his name is Dave and he keeps calling my friend Randelle names. What should I do?
Here's Bob's phone number. Call him. He'll know exactly what to tell you.
So... did you get it? Did you get that *snip*tard's phone number?
Now lemme see. What did I do with that piece of paper. Ah wait, here it is.
This is The New Orleans Police Department. Our phone is under 12 feet of water, but if you leave a message, we'll get back to you in about 3 months or so.
You are pure evil, Bob and i hate you wicked bad!

 

by BobRogers
9-01-05
This is Chet Chumly, WRRV Action News talking with a survivor of Hurricane Katrina. Where were you when the storm surge hit?
I was down in the French Quarter on Bourbon Street getting some "surge protection."
Where could you buy a life jacket in the French Quarter?
Life jacket? Who said anything about a life jacket?
But you said...
Hey! A gallon of Tequila will help you float on anything.

 

by BobRogers
9-01-05
Dude, your comix suck the grease out of a ball joint
Me fix.
That was in NO WAY what I had in mind!
Me fixed.

 

by BobRogers
9-02-05
Discussing New orleans...
Bob I am disturbed by your cavalier attitude toward the suffering in New Orleans.
You just don't understand black humor, that's all.
Sure I do. Two black guys walk into a redneck bar...
That's not what I mean. We poke fun at tragedy in order to lessen our own stress or pain.
Well, I've been watching CNN for a week now and the only white people I've seen so far have been the reporters...
You renewed your KKK membership, didn't you Dave?

 

by BobRogers
9-02-05
British scientists have suggested that cattle originally developed mad cow disease from eating human remains imported to the United Kingdom from Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan.
Which absolutely begs the question, "What the hell were they thinking about, importing human remains from Pakistan, India and Bangladesg?"
Why are you looking at me like that? I am still breathing!
Wow! that was some party!
Snackies!

 

by BobRogers
9-03-05
Somebody said I should not talk to you anymore.
Did they say why?
They went into a great deal of detail, but I was daydreaming and missed the whole explanation.
Might have something to do with your head not exploding. I do use pretty big words.
Nope. Wouldn't want your head to explode.

 

by BobRogers
9-04-05
Nothing is ever enough where Dave is concerned...
What do you want from me Dave?
Delete everything you own that has anything to do with me, forget my name and deposit $1 million in my swiss bank account.
You don't HAVE a Swiss bank account Dave.
Well MAKE me one, and while you're at it you can tote that barge and lift that bale!
Who died and left YOU in charge of the plantation?
Uppity will get you whipped. Better get yo mind right.

 

by BobRogers
9-04-05
A surprise visitor stops by...
Sister Mary! Long time no see. How's the world treating you, eh?
Can it Bob. That "I am cheerful" stuff doesn't wash with me.
What has your habit all in a twist?
You've been picking on Dave again. You have been depicting him in a racist fashion.
But he's a WHITE guy!
Innuendo has just been declared a hate crime.

 

by BobRogers
9-04-05
Labor Day school break in the park...
Dude, do you realize that there are only 3 cartoons to go before the 300th episode.
I hadn't really thought too much about it, why?
It take about 30 minutes to publish a strip. 300 cartoons means you have a hundred and fifty hours invested in Dave.
?
Add that to the 360 blogs you have written at 2 hours a blog.... Where you goin'?
Bathroom! I feel my supper coming back on me...

 

by BobRogers
9-06-05
Dave is unhappy with his lot in life...
My life SUCKS! People are drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and weed. Moms won't do NOTHING!
My house is a mess. My car is thrashed. The Old Geezer who lives here gets a Gobermant check! I hate my brother!
Where the Hell are we anyhow?
New Orleans

 

by BobRogers
9-08-05
Dave plays politics...
Dear County Commissioner. How are you? I am fine. Someone is picking on me. Can you kill him? Love, Dave
What can I do? I am just a local politician. How can I help that little kid in trouble over in PLVY?
PS: I m 30.

 

by BobRogers
9-09-05
Why haven't you done something about the guy whose name I do not know who picks on me and "makes fun" of me?
Umm let me see. The Constitution?
What does a SHIP in BOSTON have to do with it?
I meant the Document, the one signed by the FOUNDING FATHERS! You really ARE an idiot, it's not a rumor.
Some politicians know when to bail.
But he's MAKING FUN OF ME! And he's WRITING about me! And he won't SWEAR. And he STOLE A POEM!
That voice. That wheedling, whining VOICE! I must kill myself immediately!

 

by BobRogers
9-09-05
In the Park with J. gargoyle...
Dude, this is the 300th MBD Cartoon, you know?
Yeah, I know. Dave sent me a Happy 300th Toon present before he went into meltown this week.
I see. Is that what's ticking?
Ticking? I don't hear any ...

 

by BobRogers
9-10-05
A hellacious explosion has rocked this strip to its very foundation. it knocked Brad off the toilet where he had been reading the Wall Street Journal...
Dude, what the hell was that?
An improvised explosive device
Dave BOMBED Strip Creator?
No, he just bombed this particular strip.
Homeland Security dude is gonna be pissed. An IED in the USA? Not cool.
At least we're not dead. Just reduced to a pile of intelligent ashes.

 

by BobRogers
9-10-05
So let me get this straight. You mailed a BOMB to Bob at Strip Creator?
I put out a contract on him but he has so many FOLLOWERS that no one would kill him.
And you're not concerned about the FBI, the ATF, Homeland Security or local law enforcement?
I'm retarded. What can they do?
Um.. Lock you up for a hundred years like they did the UNIBOMBER...
I doubt it.

 

by BobRogers
9-12-05
Dave finds Jesus or vice versa...
Why do you keep cursing my name Dave?
Because you never give me ANYTHING I ask for. I used to PRAY for stuff, and you never answered.
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, Dave.
That's a STUPID Garth Brooks song. I HATE Country and Western music. You SUCK!
Dude, Wat happened. We were just piles of smoldering ashes and then... We're BACK!
JESUS whispered in my ear. He said, "Go forth and do my Father's work. SMITE that whining worm bastard Dave!

 

by BobRogers
9-13-05
Bob gets a message from above...
You got a message from Jesus saying you should SMITE Dave?
Yeah, man. One moment I was a pile of ashes, contemplating what life would be like when it rained. Next minute, "SMITE DAVE!"
How do you Smite anybody? Have you ever SMITTEN anyone? How will you find out what SMITE means? I have an idea but...
Dude, relax. I'll Google it. About.com should have some instructions.
Nothing is THAT simple.

 

J. Gargoyle tries his hand at standup...
for today's exercise in conflict..
Picture a gay man trying to keep a straight face
by BobRogers, 9-15-05

 

by BobRogers
9-16-05
Sister Mary stops by Dave's computer room.
What are you doing?
I am making an MP3 of me calling Bob every name I can think of and telling him how stupid he is for putting my MP3's and videos on his stupid blog.
What are you going to do with this MP3?
I m going to put it on my blog so that everyone can see what an idiot Bob is.
What would Garrison Keillor say in a situation like this?
You are an IDIOT! I am FUMIGATED at you! I HATE YOU BOB (if that's your real name)!

 

by BobRogers
9-17-05
Dr. H, this guy Bob (if that's his real name)is drivin' me NUTS! He WRITES about me in his blog and makes cartoons abut me. It's HORRABLE!
I tink ve kin help you mine poy. Step into der machine.
Did you hear what happened over at Dr. H's place today?
Yep. Biggest power surge in the history of Pleasant Valley.

 

by BobRogers
9-18-05
Dr. H's machine has accidentally blown Dave to Hell.
Stupid machine turned me into a pile of ashes, Now what am I supposed to do.
Oh, we'll think opf something.
Who are you? Do I know you? I really can't see that well. Is it me, or is it hot?
Relax, Dave. We need you back on Earth. The Boss thinks you are doing a swell job there. We're sending you back.
Life on the farm is kinda laid back...
How does being a Pink Donkey help me relax?
Oh, you'll like it down on the farm. Somebody will fix that donkey thing directly. Meanwhile, have a sip of my beer.

 

by BobRogers
9-20-05
Bob is searching...
Where's Gargoyle?
as is J. Gargoyle and Mary
Where's Bob?
Where's the justice?
and Caitlin and some guy whose name I don't know from MySpace.
Where's Dave?
If I change my name to Dave, will you be my Honey Bun?

 

by BobRogers
9-21-05
Like many before her, Caitlin is somewhat nonplussed by her StripCreator Avatar..
I CANNOT believe that you cast as a whip weilding penguin dominatrix in this little play!
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
What did you say?
I said that this character has the best wardrobe of any avatar in this entire strip.
I am positive that's not what you said. Let me get to a compuiter to Google that latin. And PRAY that you didn't insult me.
Qui dormit, non peccat .

 

by BobRogers
9-22-05
Listen. I don't know WHAT your problem is...
That's cool. I don't know what you are either.
My work is my own. It's my own thought, you moron!
Face it Dave, you haven't had a thought of your own since your momma stuck a breast in your face and the word "nipple" popped into your head.
Dave said to tell you that you suck. My head hurts.
Whatever.

 

by BobRogers
9-24-05
The winds o change are blowing.
I am thinking of changing the name of the cartoon strip
Why would you want to do that?
Because Dave thinks this is all about him... that all 310 comix in this series are about him.
Now why would he think that? He has said repeatedly that he is NOT Message Board Dave. So what are you thinking of calling the revised strip?
Tales from Lake Woebedave.
Dude. That sucks Chinese Easter Eggs.

 

by BobRogers
9-24-05
The word gets out...
Bob is thinking about changing the name of the strip to "Tales From Lake Woebedave."
That's going to make no sense to Dave.
What's your point. Nothing makes sense to Dave anyhow. He lives in a state of quantum confusion.
?
Quantum confusion is the state of being messed up on so many levels that it actually affects alternate realities.
I get it. Tales of Lake Woebedave will be about Dave's alternate realities. That was easy.

Showing page 7.

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