All comics by Injokester

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by Injokester
3-13-06
You there, I need the GEM OF AZMODOC, so that the WISE WIZARD can unlock the GATE OF AGMOTHOS. I was told you could hook me up.
I have the GEM OF AZMODOC, but it is locked in the mausoleum yonder. The KEY is held by the OLD MONK down the road.
I believe he needs a new BROOM. Perhaps if you get him a BROOM, he will lend you the KEY.
If you get me in you can sleep with my sister.
We'll use dynamite!

 

by Injokester
3-13-06
Well, we've discovered that their vision isn't based on infra-red.
B-b... b-b-b...
b-b-b...
b-bastard.

 

by Injokester
3-13-06
Alright, we need food. I'm going out there.
But I thought you wouldn't go out there without any pants?
Yes, but that was before I saw your pants.
Ha ha ha.

 

by Injokester
3-15-06
Alright, this time we'll try a zombie costume.

 

by Injokester
3-15-06
It's unfortunate that everyone's dead and zombies have taken over the world.
Fingerpainting with ass blood could have been huge!

 

by Injokester
3-16-06
My ex-girlfriend used to mock me because all I could afford was canned beans. I ask you; who's laughing now?
Probably the people that haven't run out of crab ointment.

 

by Injokester
3-16-06
They say no man is an island.
But I'm thinking that if I don't wash for a few months I just might be able to get a bonsai palm to take root in my pubes.

 

by Injokester
3-24-06
Crap, this is not good, we're out of boards and this won't hold the zombies for long. What else can we use?
Hmmm...

 

by Injokester
3-24-06
This is unacceptable spock.
We've been beamed into a house surrounded by zombies.
And they're not yet green enough to have sex with!

 

by Injokester
3-25-06
I hate it when you take a leak, but for some reason it goes everywhere instead of where you're aiming.
It just kinda defeats the purpose of peeing on a chick in the first place.

 

by Injokester
3-25-06
Day 2.
Using a broom, my fishing rod and a ton of gaffa tape I lowered my boom-box into my neighbour's yard.
The zombies flocked to it like flies to a week old tampon left in the sun.
Ain't gonna be no poodle yappin' tonight!

 

by Injokester
3-26-06
Day 4.
I spent most of the day scavenging. The zombies were everywhere, it got pretty hairy.
I guess there are just some things we'll never get back.
Like enjoying pornography in the woods.

 

by Injokester
3-26-06
Day 10.
I've been trapped inside this house for 10 days now. If I don't get out soon I'll go insane.
Well, insaner.

 

by Injokester
3-27-06
Day 11.
The brown mush in my fridge that used to be my food is now growing a lot of mould. I was thinking I could try and use it to make penicillin.
Or at the very least a really cool suicide method.

 

by Injokester
3-28-06
Dang it, I should have thought this through.
Mom's gonna be cranky when she sees my cum on the walls again.

 

by Injokester
3-29-06
Uh... Houston?
We have a problem...

 

by Injokester
3-29-06
So I was walking through the woods and there was this fairy sitting on a rock. He said to me "For disturbing me I will make your life a living hell!"
Uh-huh.
And I said to him; "A living hell? We're at war! Things can't get any worse than that!"
Then suddenly I was here.
Good call numbnuts. Now bend over and prepare for coffee!

 

by Injokester
3-31-06
Really Chen, it's your own fault.
I mean seriously, what did you think was going to happen when I told you to use the glory-hole?

 

by Injokester
3-31-06
Day 20.
For a change I've decided to do my diary entry from over here today.
Yeah, I got nothing.

 

by Injokester
3-31-06
Day 23.
Something must be happening, a whole army convoy went past my house this morning.
Then this afternoon a whole bunch of zombies turned up in army uniforms.
It was pretty funny.

 

by Injokester
4-02-06
Jesus! Pull my finger!

 

by Injokester
4-03-06
I can't believe it. I took a simple tour of the city morgue, and now I'm banned for life.
Maybe I shouldn't have tried to take that souvenir.

 

by Injokester
4-03-06
So I got myself banned from 'Bed World'.
It's frustrating, I'll either have to find something else to ride, or just pretend to be 'Pigsy' from now on.

 

by Injokester
4-03-06
Braaaaainsss...
No, I said a large Quarter Pounder meal.
Braaaaainsss...
No, not brains, quarter pounder.
Braaaaainsss...
Well, at least they've improved.

 

by Injokester
4-03-06
Day 29.
I realised this morning that I missed my chance yesterday to make a "28 days later" joke.
It's alright though; today I get to make a "blood leaking out of my penis and fresh out of penicillin" joke.

 

by Injokester
4-04-06
The way I figure it, hookers would have to figure the risks they take into their price.
Therefore,
If you don't kill a hooker every now and then, you're effectively letting them steal from you.

 

by Injokester
4-05-06
Day 31.
I've begun to feel that my best chance of survival is to become self sustaining.
Considering how many times I've spouted off that crap about sperm being nutritional to women, I figure it's worth a shot.

 

by Injokester
4-05-06
So he said "Yeah, why don't you make me?"
And then I said "Either I make you, or we'll clog your rivers with our dead!"
Anyways, that's how the corpse got in your toilet.

 

by Injokester
4-08-06
Day 32.
For a bit of variety I had a cup of tea this morning. I'd forgotten how much I hate tea without lemon.
I'm not a big fan of tea with a squirt of urine from a lemonjuice bottle either.

 

by Injokester
4-09-06
I woke up last night and there was a gremlin on chest, one of the ones people see on the wings of planes.
Anyway, there's no way I'd let that stand, so I trapped it in my duvet, rolled it onto the floor, and choked the little bastard until it stopped kickin'.
Funny thing, it turns out later that I was just dreaming, and now I'm single again.

 

by Injokester
4-10-06
Christmas was fun, except that I accidentally mixed up the presents.
My girlfriend got the photo album,
While grandma got the dildo weaved from my pubic hair.

 

by Injokester
4-10-06
Stupid cops. They confiscated the fetuses I stole from the hospital waste bin.
My catapault too.

 

by Injokester
4-10-06
Day 33.
Since I'm out of food I ate a big chunk of zombie today. It tasted like a combination of service station hot dog and cock.
Dang it brought back memories.

 

by Injokester
4-10-06
Day 35.
Today I drank a toast to the futility of existence.
Further refinement is needed in the process of fermenting urine.

 

by Injokester
4-10-06
Day 37.
I spent most of today trying to pick my teeth clean.
I eventually got the pube out.

 

by Injokester
4-10-06
Day 38.
I thought I'd hit the jackpot today when I found a potato under the couch, but it turned out to be a toy car coated in lint.
Still ate it.

 

by Injokester
4-11-06
I gotta say I LOVED giving kids wedgies in school.
But then the cops came and today kinda sucked from there.

 

by Injokester
4-11-06
Come on Chen, how was I supposed to know the "tying the tooth to the door handle" trick wouldn't work for a Brazilian?

 

by Injokester
4-11-06
I've got good news and bad news Chen.
The good news is that I'm up for the nobel prize!
Wow! Congratul...
The bad news is there's a black hole in your kitchen. Melvin let me in.

 

by Injokester
4-11-06
Some people get so worked up over nothing. I took a sip of some woman at work's milk today and she just exploded.
Maybe it was just because I drank it from her nipple.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
I got fired today because I implied my boss is a cow.
Come to think of it, it might have been less the implication and more that I tried to brand her.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
Stupid judge.
The state should stick to its traditions of burial, and I'll stick to mine.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
I hate it when people don't tell you you've got a white mustache after drinking milk.
Or the pink one from drinking milk after going down on a woman who's menstruating.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
So my eBay account got suspended.
Apparently you're only allowed to sell it at a special bank.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
I joined a cooking class and got kicked out on my first day.
I argued that being the only man in the class it was sexual discrimination.
Unfortunately that made it clear whose sperm it was.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
The vacuum cleaner company refused my warranty claim on the basis that it doesn't cover liquid damage.
I guess I'll just have to find some other way to get the blood out of a menstruating prostitute.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
My adult diaper business has been losing a lot of money lately.
I guess they found out I was sneaking in and urinating on the old folks down at the home.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
I've taken up photography. Today I took a photo of five kittens popping their heads up over the side of a basket.
It would have been six, but I ran out of staples.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
To be honest Chen, I'm really proud of myself.
A pot of red paint balanced over your door is good,
But the bull in your living room, that's just classy.

 

by Injokester
4-14-06
My pain is pure. I am unique in my painful depression.
Totally.
You should come to the goth chatroom later and I'll tell you about how truly alone I am.
What's your username?
Dark_Solitude_937.
Hey, I'm Dark_Solitude_816!

Showing page 7.

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