All comics by atomiclunch

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by atomiclunch
1-26-16
This unit is nice but a little small for 3. Do you have anything more spacious available?
Yes, I have one more. Rent higha, though, extra 30 dollahs a month.
Let me take a look, then. Does it have any amenities?
Yeh. Free Jacuzzi. You like?
Utilities included?

 

by atomiclunch
1-26-16
Sally, do you need a tampoon? I have a couple...
No thanks, i'm doing the "all-natural" thing. I'm okay.
Oh, that's right. You're new on the night shift. "All-natural" is probably not the best choice, here.
Why's that?
Hmmm. Is it dinner break, already? Let me get some biscuits!
Sally, meet Vlad from accounting!

 

by atomiclunch
1-27-16
It's good to be home, Suss. You don't know what it's like to have guys and girls asking to see your tits all day long. My arms are so tired from lifting my shirt!
CHIRP!
I can't wait to get undressed! Let me just take off my top and -
Suss?

 

by atomiclunch
1-28-16
This is Horst Petard, reporting live from the kitchen of... Atomic... Lunch is it?
Yes, Atomic Lunch. It's a family name.
Yes, well. Big news here, as we have -
NACHOS! Yummy nachos!! Phil? Show Horst the nachos!
Okay, Phil. Show me the nachos...
I was going to but then I noticed that Lunch picked up another follower this week. What the hell is WRONG with you people?

 

by atomiclunch
1-29-16
I hope my insurance covers this.
ow.
Brakes, motherfucker, do you have 'em?
Y'know, there's a great new invention! It's called the fucking HEADLIGHT, you oughta try one, slime-for-brains!

 

by atomiclunch
1-30-16
Comics by 2nd-grade me...
Gnargle-2, I cannot believe you challenged an earthling to a "duel"! You could be expired!
Chill out Reefrak-255, I can't lose! See? Pew-pew gun!
Draw, earthling! Aaaiiieee!! Eewwwww!!
Not really much difference, I notice.
See? Peepeee gun!

 

by atomiclunch
1-31-16
Hey.
Hey. Aren't you The Undertaker?
Yeah, my manager sent me to get a straight jacket for my bout against ragu4u. Can you hook me up?
Against Ragu4u? Hell, I'll Chen-derize him FOR you! He never called me back after "That Night". Let's see what we've got for ya. You know, now that I think about it...
Later...
I know, boss. Straight jacket. Well, this jacket sure as hell ain't gay, is it?
Good thinkin', boy! I'll call Ragu and let him know that his condition has been met, to the letter!

 

by atomiclunch
2-01-16
At Undertaker HQ
So, ragu's forcing the straitjacket issue?
So it seems.
Shame we can't demand he wear a costume.
Yeah, I know.
Realization
Wait, who SAYS we can't? Hang on, I know a guy...

 

by atomiclunch
2-01-16
So, you got the plan memorized?
Yes, boss. I won't let you down! Say, have Rags or UT figured out that you're actually managing both of them yet?
Wait, was that a loophole?
No. Ain't that the damnedest thing? Completely clueless, both of 'em!
Well, don't worry, you pay me enough to ensure they'll never hear it from me.
Okay, go pick up the stuff and let's get this moving. The TV cameras are ready, I'll be watching for updates.
Yes sir!

 

by atomiclunch
2-01-16
So, that's the deal. Tit for tat, UT wears a costume, YOU wear a costume, of their choosing.
Shit. I didn't figure on them pulling this. Well, what's it gonna be, then?
I have it in back, you go ahead and get undressed.
Uhhh...
Jeez, don't be bashful, we're all guys here. There's nothing we haven't seen before.
But there's a thing you should know.

 

by atomiclunch
2-01-16
What, belt stuck? Here, let me give you a hand. I used to be a tailor, did you know that?
Um, you should probably stand -
*Tug* *Pull* *FlapRiiiipppTHUD* *WHACK* *BIFF!*
AAIIIEEE!!!
- back...
Biff?
Sorry.

 

by atomiclunch
2-01-16
Wow, just wow. I feel like I should salute the guy.
To be continued!

 

by atomiclunch
2-02-16
Ragu tries on the new 'stume.
Now, put on that costume! Son, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
er, ragu4u?
WHAT?!
Ragu4u!
I CAN'T HEEEARRR YEEEWWW!!!
RAGU4U! RAGU4U!! RAGU4U!!! RRRROOOAAARRR!

 

by atomiclunch
2-02-16
Now, let's hear that catch phrase!
CAN YOU SMELL THE RAGU COOKIN'?
YES! Say, you hid "it" with the chicken?
Of course I did, why?
I thought it'd take 2 or 3 chickens at least.
Naw, I roll it up. It's like one of those stretchy hoses you order off the tv.

 

by atomiclunch
2-02-16
Watch, this is gonna be the topper!
There's one other piece to the costume.
Jeez, what else? Say, funny thing, I kinda CAN smell the Ragu Cookin'!
Yeah, about that. Earl? Go ahead.
AAIIEEE! Hey, that's Old World Style! I prefer Spicy Italian!

 

by atomiclunch
2-02-16
Well done, Chen. Here's your bonus.
Thank you sir. Always a pleasure to do business with you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a flight to catch.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Right on time.
Helmut! We need to discuss something!
That's a bold new look, Rags.
Yeah, I'm rethinking the whole straight jacket thing...

 

by atomiclunch
2-02-16
Okay, Mr. Chen, here we are. Just pull up a seat. Why is a man of your importance on a cargo flight, anyway?
My mom is sick and I wanted the very first available flight out. What kind of cargo are we carrying, anyway?
It's for another very important client who values his privacy, if you know what I mean. Be careful, cargo planes aren't quite as smooth-flying as passenger craft.
Will do, and thanks!
Upon landing...
Gosh, Mr. Chen, what happened?
First, I had no idea that human fist trafficking was even a thing. That said, if you're shipping 200 gross of them, they should be packed to stand a little turbulence!

 

by atomiclunch
2-03-16
1975, 'Lunch consults with Gabe, his go-to guy for all things teen.
Yeah, so you grab it and pump it back and forth until it squirts! It's awesome! It's called fappin'!
I thought it was just for peeing and general playing with.
Dude, me too! But it does SO much more. We just didn't know!
I'll try it later! Uh, you can put that away now, I didn't really need a demo.
I like to think about Phreaky, and/or her mom when I do it! AWWWW YEAH! you might want to stand clear...

 

by atomiclunch
2-03-16
                                  Susie!
Let me try this out. Lessee, who can I think about... Ah!
                                      Uh...Sara?
*Boing* *Droop!*
*Boinnnng* *Drooooop*
Janet! Rachel! Christine! Aw, c'mon!

 

by atomiclunch
2-03-16
After several misfires, we finally achieve full hydraulic pressure!
*BOING!* fap fap fap fapfapfapfap *RRRUUMMMMBBBLLLLE!*
HOMMINAHOMMINAHOMMINA!!! *SPLOOSH!*
Holy Crap! Gabe was right! Wait, something feels different. Good. But different.

 

by atomiclunch
2-03-16
At that very moment...
This just in, the ship "Edmund Fitzgerald" has gone missing in Lake Superior!
How sad, not earth-shattering, though.
In other news, Gordon Lightfoot is writing a 6 1/2 minute song about it. Coming soon to a radio near you!
RED ALERT! RED ALERT!

 

by atomiclunch
2-04-16
The fear a fallen down taken never back the raize and then Craig Marion, get out wi' ye Claymore out mi pocket a' ran doon, doon the middin stain
Free Bird!

 

by atomiclunch
2-05-16
Chen's mom finds the arcade...
I can't believe that you're wasting your money here again! I'm sick -
- and tired...
Neosporin, please.

 

by atomiclunch
2-06-16
Oh no! It's Christmas and global warming has left me dressed too warmly to make the run! What am I gonna do?!
*POFF!* Never fear!
The Bradsicle is here! No need to thank me, just leave a little somethin' somethin' in my stocking, big guy!
Uh, some sunscreen and my speedo would've been sufficient. We're in -
Fer chrissakes, Santa. You know what I want for Christmas? I want Tahiti to be fucking Tahiiti again! I can't feel my vulva.

 

by atomiclunch
2-06-16
Well, your serum kinda worked. I still have no hands, but we're 12 stories tall. What now?
Let's take out bus service. Tear down the overhead power cables.
With what, my penis?
Sure, why not?
YOWZA!!
Look, hands! Sorry about the penis, though. Maybe you could change your name to Ethel...

 

by atomiclunch
2-06-16
Blablabla! Duhhh, I'm your server! Can I screw up your order?!
She's behind me, isn't she?
*ahem*
I don't even... I was just heading to the restroom to piss... I heard "ahem" then everything went black.

 

by atomiclunch
2-07-16
An average day in our universe. Chen decides to take in a little culture...
Oh look, someone dropped a quarter! Cool, free quarter.
PEW!
It's glued to the floor, aahh, clever.
Pew?

 

by atomiclunch
2-07-16
A little later...
I think the artists bold use of color speaks to a complete lack of comedic -
*PAP! PIP! PAP!* *PAP!*
What the Hot-Buttered Fuck?

 

by atomiclunch
2-07-16
In Dimensional Portal Generator Alpha-4 (stolen)
That was a tricky one, CH3N. Explain.
We cross dimensions, sir, not time. We have no way to predict what will be happening upon arrival. The element of chance still comes into play.
Who is this?
Nothing we can do about it?
No sir, however, with your increasing power, it should be no more than a nuisance.
dun-Dun-DUN!!
How close am i to invincibility?
Approximately 3-4 more Chen units and you should be well-nigh unstoppable, sir. Have you ever heard of Jet Li, sir?

 

by atomiclunch
2-07-16
So, where to now?
Dimension Gamma 3/56/4-8. Engaging dimensional transfer array...
Now
Donk!
This is different. Well, I haven't changed, so I must look like my normal self, here.
Sir, I'm getting strange readings on my Chensors...

 

by atomiclunch
2-07-16
What's the problem?
Sir, it would seem that you, a mighty warrior, here, have already met your demise.
Dammit! Well, next dimension, then.
- but I'm seeing the presence of another, another...
Another what, CH3N? Spit it out!
Another
General! You're alive! And who the hell is THAT?

 

by atomiclunch
2-08-16
Another me, sir.
No, I've met another ME.
This is a first.
Indeed. Sir, you know how we're dimension hopping so that you gain power with every parallel Chen you beat up? Um, may I...
Heh. Go ahead, knock yourself out. HA!
For science, sir. YAY!

 

by atomiclunch
2-08-16
What are you optically sensing in my direction, rustbucket?
What are you optically sensing in my direction, rustbucket?
CLANG-NG-NG-NG!!!
JINX!
!
Daisy, daisy... give.. me..your.. ans...*bzzt!*

 

by atomiclunch
2-08-16
Well, how'd it feel, big guy?
I'm a robot, sir, I don't actually "feel" anyth -
*crackle!* *bzzzzzzzzzzzt!* *PING!*
?
I can see forever!!
Awesome, ain't it?
Holy Crap! What a CPU rush!

 

by atomiclunch
2-09-16
I'm reporting live from the Gold Medal Arena where the much-anticipated match between ragu4u and the undertaker has been called off, what happened, Mr. 4u?
It seems that the powers-that-be caught wind of what might happen at the "Bloodbath in Brainerd", so they bailed.
How would that happen?
Don't know, but it shut down the "Deathmatch in Dubuque", the "Armageddon in Amarillo" and the "Achin' in Aiken" bouts, too.
Earlier...
That's right, my name is Deep Throat. You don't want this kind of violence in your fine city, think of the children!
You're right, Mr. Throat! We're gonna call off the bout!

 

by atomiclunch
2-09-16
The morning after the cancellation in Brainerd.
Hey Rags, good to see ya.
Better meet with Helmut, find out where the next venue to cancel is going to be.
Hey, s'up, UT?
??

 

by atomiclunch
2-09-16
Ragsy, good to see ya! Too bad about last night's match, eh?
Yeah, looks like we'll need to do some venue shopping.
*Real Places!
No need, Mr. Chen found us the perfect place. One where they don't give a shit what we do! We can't miss, now!
Wow. Where is this one? Fresno? Detroit? Beav-o-rama, Arkansas*? Crapo, MD*?
Tickets! Tickets! Get tickets to the "Mopup in Mogadishu" here!
Wow, you're REALLY new around here, aren't you?

 

by atomiclunch
2-10-16
So, you're
The shark in the stone, yes. Pull me out and become the King of England!
Uh, this is 2016. It kinda doesn't work that way anymore.
2016? I've been here 850 years?
You must be hungry.
A little agua around the gills wouldn't hurt either, mate.

 

by atomiclunch
2-10-16
I promise not to eat you if you pull me out of here. How's that?
Y'know, I think I'll let my friend help you out. What say, Tobor?
TOBOR WANT TO BE KING OF ENG-LAND! TOBOR ALSO LIKE HANDLE ON CORNHOLE!!
RAAARRR! STRANGE WOMEN LYING IN PONDS DISTRIBUTING SHARKS IS NO BASIS FOR A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT!!
AAAIIIEEEE! Knights are friends, not food. Knights are friends not food!

 

by atomiclunch
2-11-16
Gosh, Officer Friendly, it's a nice night. Is this your Billy club?
It is, if you want it to be...
...Billy.

 

by atomiclunch
2-12-16
Barry visits Dr. Pablo, the Proctologist
Okay Barry, just relax. We're gonna do a quick rectal check, you know the "drill", heh.
Okay, ready!
Well well We Won't We won't Need need The K-Y The k-y
YAY!
You don't look like a polyp.
That's 'cause I'm a Paul. Have you seen my jeep? I'm sure I'm AWOL by now.

 

by atomiclunch
2-13-16
Damn, Jim. Pretty sweet that your house backs up to a nude beach.
Well, you know how they say that the ones in the biggest hurry to get naked are the ones you least want to SEE naked?
Sure.
.01% of the time, it's brilliant. Else, my brain hates my eyes for seeing it. I, in turn, hate my brain for processing the view into anything BUT nudes of Phreaky.
So, it's like reading an atomiclunch comic strip?
God no! The beach has something worth seeeing .01% of the time.

 

by atomiclunch
2-13-16
'ere now!
George! The machine is making Bobbies again!
Dammit! Can you set it for me?
U wot, M8
Sure hon', the usual?
Yeah, there's an angry mob out front, looking for release...
Happy Monday!
All set, dear!

 

by atomiclunch
2-13-16
We find Rags and his latest stand-in candidate at training camp going over pirated footage of The Undertaker in training...
So this is a chokeslam.
mm
Working on defense strategies, it would seem.
Now, this is the big one, the "Tombstone Piledriver".
!
So, Kikkoman4u, I figur...

 

by atomiclunch
2-13-16
Chen orders somethin' special for dinner!
Having the special, are we?
Yes, fresh grilled shark-ass! Makes a man more virile!
*knuckles cracking*
Sure you wouldn't like to... reconsider... your menu selection tonight?
No, I've been looking forward to this all yea -
Okay, try not to chew on the side without teeth for now...

 

by atomiclunch
2-14-16
*knock knock knock!*
Who's there?
RRAAARRR! TOBOR CORNHOLE DELIVERY!
Do tell.
Well?
TOBOR SORRY, MASTER. TOBOR BEND OVER NOW.

 

by atomiclunch
2-14-16
Okay, I guess it's back to the DPG and we can keep trying.
No need, Sir. This dimension's CH3N gave me a monstrous memory increase, increased cpu capability and built-in DPG functionality!
You mean?
I can process dimensional coordinates in real-time now.
Well, this is definitely quieter.
And I know where ALL of my doppelgangers are...

 

by atomiclunch
2-14-16
*Doppelganger
Your DG* is in this house, sir. You should probably cloak, now.
"I want to try something different..."
Chen, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves! Get out there and get crackin' 'fore I kick your ass!!
Yes, dear.
You poor, sorry bastard!
Huh?

 

by atomiclunch
2-14-16
You NEED this, boy!
Oof! Ow! Yipe!
Wait! Take me with y -
"Chen, why aren't you dealing with the fucking gravitons and -"
What the hot-buttered fuck?
Ha! Kicked my OWN ass! I win!

 

by atomiclunch
2-15-16
Hey, you're a postman? That's what *I* do on my planet! Represent!
Really? Small universe!
Can I tag along?
Sure, you got your gear?

Showing page 7.

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