All comics by attitudechicka

Profile

 

by attitudechicka
3-28-06
Hey Mr. Peacock. I've always wondered why you have such colorful feathers.
It's quite simple really. I try to make myself look as attractive as possible so a female peacock will mate with me.
Maybe your gross indifference toward your appearance has something to do with your slow sex life.

 

by attitudechicka
8-16-06
Arizona has a football team?
Yeah, they got the St. Louis Cardinals.
St. Louis has a football team?
Yeah they got the LA Rams.
Oh, I get it!
One St. Louis husband for trade, now accepting bids from competing cities.

 

by attitudechicka
8-16-06
Ma'am, we can't cash this payroll check. The account is extremely overdrawn.
Uh...
Is there anything else I can do for you at this time?
One application please.

 

by attitudechicka
8-16-06
Jim was following me in, like RIGHT BEHIND me. How could he not be here yet?
Maybe his girlfriend went into labor.
What?!
Well, he's been leaving that oven on every day, one day it's bound to catch fire.

 

by attitudechicka
11-05-06
So, what do you think of the new place?
Oh, it's great, Trish. Except... why is it so fucking hot in here?
Oh that's the thermobat 5000. It monitors the outside temperature and adjusts to "combat" it.
And it's currently, what? 85 or so?
Outside temperature has fallen one degree, adjusting internal temperature five degrees.
Did I mention it's automated?
And you chose the voice of Tom Selleck?

 

by attitudechicka
11-08-06
Everyone appears to be asleep.
Now appears to be the perfect time to run up and down the halls as fast as I can.
Then maybe I'll climb the draperies next to the bed, "forget" I still have my claws out, and land on my owner's legs.

 

by attitudechicka
11-25-06
I don't feel so hot.
Oh, honey, of course you're still hot.

 

by attitudechicka
12-08-06
What kind of gift can I find in a trashcan...
that doesn't scream "I found this in a trashcan?"
Uh...
THIS ONE! Merry Christmas!

 

by attitudechicka
12-13-06
Thanks to injokester, I can now make comics about my parents' adventures in caving.
Like the strange reason that they have more photo albums of caves than of family.
There are three hundred stalagmites in this cave.
In that case, we'd better photograph them all.

 

by attitudechicka
12-15-06
Tree decorating accomplished.
Why the fuck did I just do that?

 

by attitudechicka
12-22-06
Hey guys, whatcha doin'; goin' to sleep?
Can I watch?

 

by attitudechicka
12-23-06
I've decided not to get you anything for Christmas this year, because you celebrate Kwanza and I'm not really sure if gift giving is part of your religion.
I've decided not to get you anything for Christmas because I would have to buy it in a store that uses electricity and is probably a product made using electricity in some form as well.
I've decided not to get you a gift this year because you don't believe in God, and you need to get the fuck out of my Christian holiday.

 

by attitudechicka
12-23-06
How's it going, Gia?
Not good, Santa, not good. My son has asked me for everything he's seen on tv for Christmas. Including Barbie.
You should get him all of it, since you won't let him believe in me.
I'm not dropping that kind of money just because I don't want to lie to my kid for five or six years.
Scrooge.
Gay scat film star.

 

by attitudechicka
12-28-06
Gia, can I talk to your parents?
Uh, Gran, they left a while ago for your house.
I know, but it's snowing and I have to talk to them.
Gran, they left. They're not here.
No, I'm calling on the CELL PHONE. Let me talk to them.

 

by attitudechicka
1-03-07
What the heck is this thing under my butt?
Oh look, it's attitudechicka's resume.

 

by attitudechicka
1-03-07
Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Bossman.
Chicka, you are... oh, I left your resume over there. Let me turn around and get it.
Okay, time to steal the shoes.
Where did my shoes go?

 

by attitudechicka
1-03-07
Oh I'm so sorry for spilling that water on you feet.
No, it was my fault. I was distracted by your tastefully trashy pajama top.
Here, wear these socks I happen to have stashed in my pants.
I really don't think you're going to work out for this position.
Lookie here, I got your shoes. Na na na na nahhhh!

 

by attitudechicka
1-03-07
Okay, you got the job. Just give me my shoes back.
Thank you, Mr. Bossman.
And I'd also like to thank The Young Scot and Big Evil Dan for their interview ace tips.

 

by attitudechicka
1-04-07
Do you remember starting this contest about a year ago?
No, not really.
I think some of the rules may no longer be useable due to recent changes to stripcreator.
Nevertheless, I think I have at least ONE rule figured out.
Possibly two, depending on if Kaufman actually remembers the rules.
I'm not a rule.

 

by attitudechicka
1-06-07
Throw [ broken/unwanted item ] in trash.
A couple hours later.
Hey, isn't that the [ broken/unwanted item ] I threw away eariler?
Throw [ broken/unwanted item ] in trash.

 

Did you find everything okay? Did you see our two for a dollar snickers special? And our dollar nicknacks?
I will not give in to your dollary goodness!
by attitudechicka, 1-08-07

 

by attitudechicka
1-09-07
TOBOR HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING...
TOBOR JUST GET BACK FROM CLINIC AND...
TOBOR HAS A VIRUS. YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET CHECKED OUT.

 

by attitudechicka
1-09-07
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz123456789etc...............
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz112233445566778899etc...............
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz112233445566778899etc..........................................................

 

Umfum's so slow, he's still watching the World's Shortest Tragic Play.
by attitudechicka, 1-10-07

 

by attitudechicka
1-19-07
Hey, man, thanks for tipping me off to this book sale. Have you found anything yet?
Just this: Savory Meals under ten bucks.
How much does it cost?
Thirty five dollars.

 

by attitudechicka
4-03-07
Great costume party, huh?
I seriously thought I was going to win.
But everyone seems to think that I'm the tree that was left here from the last christmas party.
Don't feel bad, Phil's been getting titty twisters all day.
I told him coming as a water cooler was a bad idea.

 

Ice T please.
This isn't a concession stand.
by attitudechicka, 4-11-07

 

by attitudechicka
5-01-07
So where ya going?
To the United States.
Anywhere in particular?
No not really.
You see, I'm a Canadian bear...

 

by attitudechicka
5-03-07
I'd like to sell you this house at a great deal! What do you think?
Well, I guess for the price it isn't so bad, but uh... there are arms taped in the windows.
Uh, yeah, maybe you're right. It does appear to be a bit of a money pit.
It's about two days short of having a "watch for falling roof" sign out front.
How about if I offer you this home for the same price?
Was the first house a test?

 

by attitudechicka
5-05-07
MommyIwantapopcicle. Okaybye.
Uh...

 

by attitudechicka
5-08-07
Do you want to tell him the sad truth or should I?
*sigh* I guess I can.
I have some bad news, son.
That diaper you're wearing is going to have to last all day.
Dad, I have some bad news too.

 

by attitudechicka
5-11-07
Hey baby, what's your sign?
Aquarius.
Ooh.
Wanna trade?

 

by attitudechicka
5-11-07
Hey sugar, what's YOUR sign?
I'm going to walk away real slow so you know what you're missing.
What about you, what do you have?
Cancer.
Wow, that's too bad.

 

by attitudechicka
5-25-07
I just heard about The New Club. Have you ever been?
I know the singer of This Band, who plays there.
That's not bragging, that's shame.
Based on the fact that This Band plays there, I wouldn't consider The New Club a very good place.

 

by attitudechicka
5-25-07
Holy cow. Who is that playing the drums? It sounds awesome!
It's Bobby. He has cerebal palsy.
I'm gonna do him!
Me too!

 

by attitudechicka
5-25-07
Hello, Unknown Eric.
Hello, Chicka.
This isn't awkward or anything, is it?

 

by attitudechicka
5-25-07
Hey, look Eric, a time machine!
...Yay?
Now we can go back in time and I can escort you to your senior prom.
Yay!
Crap. There's a fifty cent fee and it's nonrefundable.

 

by attitudechicka
5-25-07
Uh, why did we return to our ages in 1994 as well?
Man, you haven't changed a bit in 13 years, have you?
You know, you were still pretty hot at 10.
Don't be such a pedo.

 

by attitudechicka
5-25-07
Well, was it everything you'd hoped it would be?
Sure, there was dancing, music, food...
So why do you still look so unhappy?
I don't know...
Would you look happy after getting arrested for conspiracy to corrupt a minor?

 

by attitudechicka
5-26-07
I was adopted. Who else was adopted? Come on up and do a cartwheel with me!
I have a dog. Who else has a dog. Come on up and do a cartwheel with me!
I take 12 different pills to balance out my depression and perkiness. Who else takes doctor prescribed medication?
Miss K, maybe you should skip the cartwheels this time.

 

by attitudechicka
6-01-07
So basically I just don't think I believe in love.
That's really deep and all, but you're just bitter because you're single.
Hey, Laura, what's up?
That's not true....
...but I gotta go.

Hey Marcus, wait up!

 

by attitudechicka
6-01-07
I cheated on Zach last night with Max. So I have to spend tonight on my casualty insurance plan.
Casualty insurance?
You know, when you cheat on someone stable, you have sex with them the next day.
That way if you get pregnant you know the guy paying child support will actually have a job.

 

by attitudechicka
6-01-07
Most Likely To Only Have Friends Because Her Older Brother Is A Hot Guitar Player
Have you met my brother Josh?
Most Likely To Have A New STD Named After Them
It's called Kerrierea, but now they know what I meant by "You're getting the Kerrie"!
Most Likely To Say "Hi Mom" During Appearance On An Episode of Cops

 

by attitudechicka
6-05-07
Okay, see you later, Bobby.
Actually, it's Sam.
Really? Since when?
Uh, 1981?

 

by attitudechicka
6-06-07
I know a trick that is 70% more likely to get me a free drink at a bar. Though the guy usually ends up going home with my friend.
Oh yeah?
70% is a lot, so I can't tell other women about my secret. I'm afraid I'll quit getting free drinks and my friends will quit getting laid.
That's pretty heroic.
Heroic sounds a lot better than selfish.

 

by attitudechicka
7-05-07
Hi, Cable Company? Yes I just recieved a bill here for $150 and I was wondering what contributed to these charges.
Well, it looks like you have some installation charges on your bill.
Okay, so why did I give your installation guys $150 last week for installation, then?
We show that we recieved that payment.
No. I mean, if there's installation charges on my current bill, what was that check last week for?
$150.

 

by attitudechicka
7-21-07
The main difference between guys like this
I'm not like other guys.
And the rest of the world
I really have a way with words.
Uh huh, sure. I'm going to be over there. Far far away.
Is their apparent need to imitate the Koolaid pitcher guy every time they talk.
You plus me equals doin' it tonight. Ohhhh yeahhhhh.

 

by attitudechicka
7-22-07
I found this old pogo stick, and I'm pretty sure that if I add some wheels to it...
It would guarantee that I'll visit you in the hospital later?
I'd have to add some spikes to it... you know, because it's not dangerous enough.
On second thought, I think I'll start saving for your funeral fund.
I'm going to call it "Go-go-happy-fun".
That's one of those ironic names, right?

 

How about we just eat lots of candy. Sugar comas are way better than real comas.
by attitudechicka, 7-22-07

 

by attitudechicka
7-30-07
So my brother and his girlfriend finally had the baby.
By girlfriend, do you mean trailer park crack whore?
I...
I've never heard anyone describe someone so perfectly before!

Showing page 7.

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