All comics by bakawaii

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by bakawaii
12-24-05
Expect the first ghost at midnight!
Wait, what ghost? What're you talking about? And btw, it's like 12:40 already.
Okay, first of all, I'm on like, Pacific Time or whatever. Maybe it was Central. I forget. I don't do this alot. Time is immaterial where I live. Or don't live, you know what I mean.
So what's the point of even telling me the time if it isn't even for my time zone? How the hell will I know when to actually expect...
Look, corporate policies don't make any more sense in the spirit world than they do in the mortal world. Especially since, as you noted, no one running things over here have brains.
A'ight, so I won't shoot the messenger. Or is it too late for you to even worry about something like getting shot?

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Very droll. Listen, anyway, I'm just supposed to tell you to expect 3 ghosts tonight. So you probably won't be getting much sleep, I'm afraid.
A'ight, well, I don't have to get up early to open presents. It's not like I'm going anywhere. I can sleep in.
Sounds like a plan. So anyway, I won't bother telling you when to expect the ghosts. You know... expect them when you see them.
I can do that.
One more thing. They're going to look like people you know. Well, the first two will, anyway. But they're not.
OMG, how will my primitive 21st century, never seen a single version of "A Christmas Carol" mind ever manage to cope with such a bewildering concept?

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Hi.
Woah, that was quick. No segue at all. It was just like, one second that weird ghost was here, the next second without warning, here's you. I presume you're the first ghost, and not my friend Dave.
You got it. I'm the ghost of Christmas Past.
Right on. Well, look, could you tell me why exactly I'm being Scrooged? I'm a good guy, right? I dig Kurisumasu, and all...
Did the messenger ghost tell you anything about the corporation we work for?
Say no more. ...Except, you know, something about why you're here...

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Okay. First of all, do you remember that one Christmas when you got a BB gun and shot your eye out?
No. Why don't you show me? You know, make with the dazzling ghostly magic and transport me back in time, to jog my memory.
Budget cuts. That shit costs money, you know.
Special effects, I get it...
Nah, dude, special effects are for mortal productions. We use magic. It's just... spell drops don't come cheap.
Spell drops? Like in Magical DoReMi? Dude, where's your wandaler? And your pretty little dress?

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
See, there's your problem right there. You watch too damn much anime and stuff. Everything gets drawn or filmed for you. You need to relearn to use the power of your own imagination, like a child.
Right. Okay. So I'll try to imagine my way back to when I was a little kid who shot out my eye with a BB gun...
Good, that's the spirit!
Meanwhile, pretty amazing work they did on my new eye, don't you think? You can hardly tell it's cybernetic. Looks more realistic than anything in Ghost in the Shell...
Um...
You can't even tell which one is real, can you? And that's because they're both real, dude! Because neither was shot out with a BB gun! You're thinking of a damn movie!

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Right, right. I remember now, I'm sorry. Y'know, I never really cared for that movie. I have friends who love it, but to me it just seems terribly dysfunctional...
It's funny... Dave said the exact same thing to me one time.
I'm not Dave.
Didn't say you were, man.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Speaking of Christmas movies, what about Ernest Saves Christmas? You ever see that one?
Dude, it's the only Ernest movie I ever saw. Never was into Ernest, you know, but I like that movie. It's funny.
And Harmony... damn I loved her!
For reals, yo, she was such a hottie! And the funniest person in the movie, to be sure. She rocked. Shame I never saw Noelle Parker in anything else...
Yeah... you know what movie I'm kinda sick of though is Home Alone. I like the soundtrack, though. Oh, and someday I really should try to see Miracle on 34th Street...
Dude... are you just here to talk about Christmas movies I've seen in the past, or what?

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Well, look, if you're not having a good time, I can go. The next ghost will probably be more interesting, anyway.
Hey, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, or anything. If you wanna hang for awhile, it's cool...
No, no, I mean, there's nothing worth saying about, like, The Santa Clause or Elf or anything. except Zooey Deschanel was in Elf, and also played Trillian in that Hitchhiker's Guide movie...
Speaking of which, Dave just got that movie as an early Christmas present the other day, he told me.
...I'm not Dave.
We've established that. You sure do remind me of him alot, though. You sure you're not related, or something? He does have dead relatives, I would assume. Most people do...

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Well, look, not that I know him or anything, but my understanding is that he doesn't really have much in common with his relatives, so...
Yeah, yeah. No relation. But seriously, was there anything important about my past you wanted to talk about? Some mistakes I've made or whatever?
Well, I'm thinking you may have hitched your star to the wrong wagon when you started doing Dave's little TV show...
You mean hitched my wagon to the wrong star, don't you?
Um... You're a star, baby, and that show ain't nuthin but a crummy old wagon!
Uh huh. Nice cover.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Okay, let me think... was there anything else? Damn I wish they'd give us more details when they send us on these jobs.... hmmm...
Well, I do kinda regret giving up college to work in my pop's Building & Loan...
Really?
No, dude, that would be another movie.
Nice. Mock the dead guy with the crappy job. That's it, dude, I am such a ghost! ...No pun intended...
Gomen nasai!

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Man, I wonder when the next ghost will show up?
Oh, hey there Momoiro-san, how's things?
I am not Momoiro, I'm the second ghost! The ghost of Christmas Present.
Oh, right. Yeah, sorry, I think I offended Da- I mean, the ghost of Christmas Past. I was just goofin' around, I didn't mean to...
That's okay, he's just sensitive, sometimes. Kinda like Dave. But seriously, he's not Dave, though. Anyway, he'll get over it pretty soon.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Okay, so let's get to it. What can you show me about the present? Or didn't your employers give you any idea what you're here for, either?
Not really, we're all pretty much supposed to play it by ear.
Hey, that's kind of ironic, for you. You know. Because you've got cat ears. Get it?
...
...You have Sokka's wit.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Ha ha, yeah, he's kinda my role model. It's funny, all these years I never had a role model until Avatar started. So this has been a good year for me...
Yeah, I love the show, too...
You know who else loves it? Momoiro...
Please don't let's start that. I'm the ghost-
-of Christmas Present, yeah, I know. Jeez, try not to take things as seriously as Dave, okay? Sorry, I mean, the ghost of Christmas Past.
You know who I think you might benefit most from meeting, is the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
No, come on now, don't go yet! You just got here!
*sigh* It's not like I even have any idea why I'm here. What's the point?
Well... since you're not really Momoiro, maybe I could practice on you...
Hmm? Practice what?
Confessing my true feelings...
What? Are you saying you think of her as more than just a friend?

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Well, you know... the thought has crossed my mind... on occasion... in passing... I guess. Sort of. Um... I know you don't know her, but... do you think she might feel the same way?
You mean totally vague and noncommittal? Oh, I don't know. Possibly maybe.
Heh heh, yeah. I guess nothing's ever gonna happen between the two of us if one of us doesn't step up and take a risk.
Couldn't hoit.
Unless, you know, she completely rejected me and ended our frienship.
Oy, so complicated, you mortals make things! It's a wonder you people manage to perpetuate the species at all.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Sure, it's easy for you deadites to judge. You really do have all the time in the world.
True that. Although, you know, one thing we ain't got is bodies. Souls that are truly in love spending all eternity together, kinda nice. But not so much with the sex, we are.
Yep, I feel ya.
That's just it, you really can't. Feel me. At all.
Huh. Sucks to be you.
Well hey, at least I didn't die a virgin. Benny.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Yeah? Well at least I didn't die. Ghost.
Okay, that's a really low blow.
Sumimasen. ...So, is it just me, or is this starting to take a decidedly un-Christmaslike turn?
It's not just you. But you know what would liven things up, really make spirits bright?
What's that?
Me.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Heh... heh... um... er... uh... hi! I suppose you must be the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. Pleased to, uh, meet ya...
So...
You gonna show me my grave now, or what?
Still ain't got no budget for spell drops, man.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
A'ight, gettin' back into my comfort zone, now. So... gotta say, I really dig Mandy, but that Billy kid annoys the crap outta me.
Me too. But then, I don't watch that show much. And you understand, despite appearances, I am not the Grim Reaper. I don't even have a Jamaican accent!
Yeah, but if you did, it sure would be a perfect excuse to do a Bob Marley/ Jacob Marley joke. Cuz alot of Christmas Carol knockoffs do that, these days.
...
...You know, the ghost of Christmas Present is wrong about you. Your wit is actually slightly better than Sokka's. Not funnier, not even close. Just... meh, I don't know where I'm going with this.

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
You know what else is funny? If you were Grim... well, like, the stock character used for me here on stripcreator is called "evil," so together we could be like "grim & evil."
...Perhaps I spoke too soon.
Fine, screw you, Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come!
Dude, chill. You're being as sensitive as the ghost of Christmas Past!

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Yeah, okay, sorry dude. Anyway, please tell me you actually have some purpose in your visit. I'm getting kind of tired of the pointlessness of the other ghosts...
I feel ya, man. And lo! I do in fact have something of grave importance to tell you about the future!
Grave importance, you say?
Man, shut up.
Sumanai.
Woah, that's like the third different way you've said "sorry" in Japanese tonight. Once to each of us. Was that, like, planned, or something?

 

by bakawaii
12-24-05
Dude, I swear, hand to God, it was a total coincidence!
Alright. Anyway, what I was going to tell you is that in the future...
Yes...?
In the future, this episode will morph into various other Christmas specials!
...Oh, for the love of...! Dude, seriously, it's like 3am now. I need my sleep. Can't we just buy a big goose for the Cratchits and call it a night?

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Sorry, it's out of my hands.
Hey, check it out! I'm back on the right again! I haven't been here since Momoiro showed up!
She wasn't-
Yeah, I know! Ease of reference, okay?
*sigh* Fair enough. Anyway, I gotta get going. Good night, and Merry Christmas!
Oyasumi! Kurisumasu omedetou! Take care, buddy!

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Hey, man, wanna go have a good old fashioned Christmas, down on the farm?
No.
Me neither! Outta sight!
Okay, could this scene be any more pointless?
Ruff!
I had to ask.

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Seriously, though... there'll be sausage gravy!
I thought you didn't even wanna go.
Hey, I'm just sayin'...
Anyway, I don't think I've even ever had sausage gravy. Nor heard of it, outside of your special.
Well, that just shows your obvious lack of culinary sophistication, my friend!
Dude, you may have been doing it longer, but seriously... don't even try to out-sarcasm me, okay?

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
What, that? That wasn't sarcasm, son. Trust me, when I'm being sarcastic, you'll know it.
Clearly.
Why I oughta!
Push me off a table? Punt me into next Thursday? Mail me to Abu Dhabi?
Um...
Cuz I'm kinda bigger than you, in case you hadn't noticed...

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Well, I, er, that is, uh... Sick 'im, Odie!
Grrrrrrr!
Aw, who's a cute puppy? Puppy want a bone? That's a good boy!
Huh. Where did he even get a bone? He hasn't got a dog, so why...? Aw, heck, never mind! C'mon, Odie, let's get outta here so this stupid show can morph again!

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Huh. A Christmas tree. I wonder what this is supposed- oh, wait, what's that? A blue ribbon?
1st Place
I can't stand it! A stupid Charlie Brown rip-off! How lame! Can this scene possibly be saved?
Hi. I'm here to steal this tree. Um, I mean fix it. Yeah, cuz a light's broken...

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Dude, don't tell me you're supposed to be the Grinch?
Uh, no, I'm supposed to be Santa Claus!
Oh, sure. Okay, Santa, take the tree. It's got my dumb dog's decorations from his doghouse all over it, anyway. It represents the crass commercialization of Christmas, and I don't want it.

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Uh, okay... I'll just bring it back when-
No, keep it. I said I don't want it.
Er, right. And maybe I should also take-
Just the tree, dude. Take it and get lost, or I'll start singing "yahoo doris" or whatever that crap is.
Okay, I'll go, but not because of your threat of cheerful singing. Being Santa Claus, I love cheerful singing. It's that commercialization thing you mentioned that bothers me...
Right. Way to talk yourself out of a job, oh great bringer of toys.

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Thank you, my son, for recognizing the true meaning of Christmas, by rejecting commercialization!
Dude... where do I begin? Um, first of all, wrong holiday. You should be a baby this time of year.
True, but even so... from the very beginning, this was my purpose. I came to die for your sins.
In my bedroom?
Fine. Happy now?
It'll do in a pinch.

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Anything else I can do for you? Maybe turn some milk into egg nog? I mean like with really primo rum, of course...
Meh, pass. Thanks anyway. Now, the other thing I was gonna say, I don't really reject commercialism, I just said that to like, get rid of the Grinch, and that stupid tree. Not that I don't-
Woah, woah, wait a minute... Are you saying that guy wasn't the real Santa?
You're kidding, right?
Hells no, man, I sat on that guy's lap at the mall!
Omniscient, my ass... Look, anyway, I was gonna say I like both those specials. I just don't want them playing out so stupidly in my own room, in real life...

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
I know that. And incidentally, I was just kidding about thinking the Grinch was really Santa. I have a sense of humor, you know. Besides, I know Santa Claus, and that guy was no Santa Claus.
Okay... I'm not sure I believe you know Santa Claus...
Because you don't believe he exists. But in fact, he's standing right behind you.
Woah, rilly? Omigod!
That's my name, don't wear it out! ...Well, actually it's my dad's name, but we're really the same guy, so....
Yeah, sorry to take your name in vain, and all. But seriously, Santa Claus is so not standing behind me...

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Ho ho ho! I'm not, am I?
Woah, Santa, it is you! You're really really real!
That I am, Benny! But you thought grown-ups like yourself never believe in me...
Don't worry, pal, it's a common mistake. Could happen to anyone...
What the-? Albert? What are you doing here?

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Oh, the three of us are old friends!
True that! We go everywhere together!
Mmm-hmmm.
So like, wait... I'm willing to suspend disbelief on Jesus and Santa being pals, and Santa and Albert kinda makes sense, but how does a mouse get to hang out with Jesus?
Oh, I totally chewed away the ropes that bound him to the Stone Table, after the White Witch killed him.
Dude, you're thinking of Aslan! That's The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe! ...But it's a common mistake, it could happen to anyone...

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
I'm cuuute!
Wha? Where'd Jesus, Albert, and Santa go?
They morphed out. But did I mention Clarice thinks I'm cuute?
That's the rumor. Way to go, dude, she's totally hot. As adolescent reindeer go, I guess.
Yeah, I especially like her voice.
Me too, dude, totally. Shame about yours, though. The nose thing is copacetic, you'll see, but that voice. Tough break on that score...

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Happy birthday!
Frosty, you like my voice, don't you?
Oh my God, it just gets weirder and weirder... I'm starting to feel like frickin' Johnny Bravo, or something... OMG, I swear, if he shows up, I'm outta here...
I think your voice is fine, Rudolph. Why, did this jerk make some kinda crack? Hey, you dissin' my friend?
He did, Frosty! He was so mean!
Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. Now, be a good reindeer and snowman, and morph out of here, for the love of God!

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Thank God, I'm all alone! I wonder if this nightmare is finally over? Heh, maybe next Seth Cohen will show up with a Yarmuclaus for me. That'd actually be kinda cool.
Course on the other hand, with my luck, some wookiees will show up, instead... That's all I need, to be trapped in a Star Wars Christmas Special...
Did someone say "Nightmare?"
Uh, yeah, dude. Like two frames ago. So who are you s'posed to be, friggin' Jack Skellington?

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
That's right!
Oh... man. I love your movie so much. Please don't ruin it for me.
What's this? There's cynicism in the air! What's-
Shut up! Stop it! I bloody mean it! I won't allow you to ruin this! All these lame parodies of cool holiday specials and whatnot, even the son of God, coming in here... it's not right! It has to stop!
Aw, you're just cranky cuz you haven't gotten any sleep.
AND WHOSE BLOODY FAULT IS THAT?! IT'S ALL YOU PEOPLE AND THINGS! GAH! JUST GET OUT AND LET ME SLEEP ALREADY!

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Benny awakes with a start...
Oh, man, was it all a dream? I guess I was sleeping, after all!
Funny thing I don't feel the slightest bit rested...
Benny looks at his clock...
4:53? Dammit... Man, I hope I can get some real sleep without all these crazy dreams!

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
A couple hours later, Benny is woken by the ringing of his phone.
Ring!
Dammit, still tired. This better be important... Hello?
Hey, Benny, sorry to call so early...
Oh, Dave. Man, you wouldn't believe the dreams I've been having...
You'll have to tell me all about it later... I need to talk about the show...
If it's about ATHF, I'm sorry, I hadn't actually had a chance to see my tape of the last episode before the show, and when I saw it, it was like, oh, did they say when the movie would be out...?

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
Yeah, no, it's actually not about that. I mean, I was gonna mention it, but I hadn't seen it either, and anyway... well, it's not important.
So what is it?
I found out what's up at Jacuzzi Central.
Why, what's up?
The reason they've been so cheap and all, especially about the website recently...
You mean it's not just cuz nobody carries the damn network?

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
I'm afraid it goes deeper than that. They've been sued for trademark infringement.
What the hell? What trademark?
Jacuzzi.
Ja- but.. I thought that was just like Italian for spa, or something.
I dunno, I mean I thought something along those lines, too, but apparently it's a brand name. And the PTBs at the network were just as clueless about it as us.
I guess we really did hitch our star to the wrong wagon.

 

by bakawaii
12-25-05
What are you talking about?
Nevermind, it's nothing.
Anyway... I'm sorry to say it, but the network is bankrupt. Your last show was your last show. I'm really sorry, Benny. *sigh* Merry Christmas...
Merry Christmas, man. Damn. I suppose now you gotta tell Momoiro...
Yeah. Not looking forward to it, but it has to be done. Well... listen, I'll talk to you later. Bye.
Bye... *click* ...Man, I'd say I wish I was never born, if I wasn't afraid Clarence would show up...

 

by bakawaii
1-01-06
So dude, what's your New Year's resolution?
I dunno, I never manage to keep them, so what's the point?
Well, maybe you should make a resolution you don't want to keep. You know, to ensure it doesn't happen.
Hmmm, interesting... okay, this year, I resolve to... kill all humans!
Uh... okay. This year I guess I resolve to choose saner friends.
Hey, you said to pick something I don't want to happen...

 

Seriously, I am so fucking sick of logging into a different account and having my comics posted in an account I wasn't logged in to!
by bakawaii, 1-01-06

Showing page 7.

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