All comics by Devin

Profile

 

by Devin
2-04-03
Geez, Bush is determined to drive this country into the ground!
If only he would get cancer and die or something.
I don't care, skin cancer, brain cancer, prostrate cancer, lung cancer, heck, even breast cancer!
Even sniper rifle cancer would do, if you know what I mean!

 

by Devin
2-04-03
Iraqi people...
Your enemy is running your country!
Ha, who says we have nothing in common with the Iraqis?

 

by Devin
2-04-03
Let's see, I install this new plug-and-play sound card, change the jumpers on the motherboard...
Start up the computer, install the drivers on the disk, install some of the drivers on the Windows 95 CD...
Set the sound card settings, restart the computer, install the sound card programs, and I'm done! Easy!

 

by Devin
2-05-03
If God wanted us all to be happy, why am I so lonely?
God's not going to hand us everything on a silver platter; we need to go out and work for it.
But why--
I mean, look at me, his own son, left to be nailed to a cross to rot! These nails hurt like fuck, man!
Um, sorry to hear--
And you bastards, sinning all over the place! Does He make YOU die for your own sins? Nooo, he fucking makes ME do it!!!

 

by Devin
2-05-03
Hey, man. You should wash your hands after taking a piss.
Why, it's not like I pee all over my hands or something.
Do YOU pee all over your hands?
...Shut up.

 

by Devin
2-05-03
Coming up next! It's Extreme Dinosaurs! Followed by Extreme Ghostbusters! Then, get ready for X-Men Extreme!
And after that, Extreme My Little Ponies, followed by Extreme Cabbage Patch Kids!
Um, extreme! I guess.

 

by Devin
2-05-03
Me taking notes
Another cause of environmental problems is the attempt by humans to dominate nature.
Humans clear trees for land and lumber, dam up rivers and flood valleys, and tear up the earth for resources, all for their own personal uses.
Humans... trying... to... make... nature... their... bitch.

 

by Devin
2-06-03
You didn't want your son anymore, so you abandon him at a toystore? That's one of the most irresponsible acts I have ever heard! I rule that the child be taken from his father's custody!
Wait a minute--
Sucker!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
why that transgender fella was killed
Yeah, girl! You sure know how to suck me off, slut!
Oh my god, your butt is so tight, you bitch!
Yeah, baby, how do you like me licking your balls?
Hey, wait a minute... balls?!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
A surefire way to tell when your teacher relies WAY too much on notes
When I graduated in... um... 1968... I was in the... um... army... the Civil Engineer corps...
...After... um... 20 years... I went to work in the... um... private sector...
...First... um... I went to work with... um... East Bay MUD...

 

by Devin
2-07-03

 

by Devin
2-07-03
We will NOT stand idly by while faggots invade our homes, our schools, and our workplaces! We will NOT let perverts run free!
Yeah! Oh yeah!!! OH YEAH!!!!!
...Um, I appreciate your passion, but please let me finish.
Oohhh YE-- oh, heh heh, sorry.
As I was saying, we will NOT sit idly by while...
Okay, I'm done. Now it's your turn under the table.

 

by Devin
2-07-03
He KNEW that bitch Judas would betray me! Does he say anything? Nooo! Here I am, trying to have a meal in peace...
All I ever wanted was for Dad to approve of something I did! But nothing I did was EVER good enough for Him!
I see you're busy, so--
I FAKED EVERY ORGASM I HAD WITH THAT BITCH!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
Heh heh, here's the attendance sheet.
Thanks.
Um, in the future, if you're going to use joke names, "Suck My Dick" and "Fuck You Bitch" are kind of obvious.

 

by Devin
2-07-03
Automobiles produce some of the most pollutants. Harmless water vapor comes out of the muffler, but when combined with the nitrus oxides that also come out...
So water vapor is not a pollutant?
Ha ha ha!
Um, sorry, I thought you were making a joke.

 

by Devin
2-07-03
Heh heh, I thought you'd be struck down by lightning or something, after talking about God like that.
Ha, He can't stop me! Watch this!
God su
...Huh?

 

by Devin
2-07-03
I have something I have to get off my chest.
I'll help!
Oh my god, that's NOT what I meant, you pervert!
Aw, come on, sis!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
for(m=r(2)?n:1,t=q,l=n/2,i=n;i--&&(i!=l||i--);*(t++)=i);
for(q[1]=3-(*q=r(n)),q[3]=3-(q[2]=1^q[r(2)]),t=a,i=n,m=3*r(2);i--;t+=d)
What is that, leetspeak?
No. C++.

 

by Devin
2-07-03
As determined by the EPA, a building is suffering from sick building syndrome when 20% of its population calls in sick at any given time.
17% of the country's buildings are classified as "sick" buildings.
What I find interesting is that the EPA Headquarters is one of them!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
You know, they say that smokers have a 90% chance of dying prematurely.
Well, I'm gonna try to beat those odds!
Are you crazy? You only have a 10% chance of NOT dying!
Ha, if I try ten times, I'm almost guaranteed to beat those odds at least once!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
Now there's a group called the World Health Organization...
The who?
Exactly!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
I'd like to file for... divorce.
These things happen. Seven bucks.
If only my ex's lawyer would let me off so easily...

 

by Devin
2-07-03
If you fall into line, I'll shove a carrot up your ass. Otherwise, I'll shove a stick up your ass.
Ooh, goody!

 

by Devin
2-07-03
AAAGH!!!
Ha ha ha ha!
OW OW OW OW OW!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
ARGH, THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS!
Of course there is! I know I'M laughing!

 

by Devin
2-08-03
Wow, so much has changed. Black background, big yellow fonts, and banners crawling all over the place...
"You must be 18 or over to enter?" Looks like he decided to do something about the influx of 12-year-old noobs.
Ha ha ha! Brad sure hasn't changed though! Putting up a photograph of himself getting head from the asiangirls...

 

by Devin
2-13-03

 

by Devin
2-13-03
Could you put this poster up for me so I can take it down? Thanks.

 

by Devin
2-13-03
We at NASA have called this press conference to announce the factor that lead to the tragedy of the Columbia.
It turns out that it had nothing to do with terrorists, anomalies, or "sprites."
It was the greed and half-assedness on the part of the top brass at NASA all along.

 

by Devin
2-13-03
Am I the only one who believes this BS?

 

by Devin
2-13-03
What period did the Ancient Greeks live?
They never existed. They're just a fairy tale.
Why do you think they call it "Greek myths?"
Those were written by the Chinese, by the way.

 

by Devin
2-13-03
Fine, fine! You can have the last word.
Hello?

 

by Devin
2-13-03
...says Bush,
I ask America to support my war, which will last ten-- oh wait, I can only be re-elected once-- four years!
the FBI,
I'm under arrest for being Muslim? The Constitution guarantees me freedom of religion!
The Constitution? That went out along with campaign finance reforms and fuel-efficient cars.
and the Department of Homeland Security.
Citing that the Department of Homeland Security is essential, Bush sextupled its budget.
Woohoo! Now I can buy that fifth Porsche that I've always wanted!

 

by Devin
2-13-03
What's wrong, son?
Daddy, I stole the presidency and now nobody respects me!
Everybody's picking on me! Osama, Saddam, Kim, even America, the rest of the free world, and the economy!
Well, son, you know what I always say--
No! No! I don't want to play with your dolly anymore! K-keep away from me!

 

by Devin
2-13-03
See this map? The places in orange are where HIV is a problem.
Hmm, every continent is orange...
Even Antarctica...

 

by Devin
2-13-03
Yo, buddy, wanna get high? First hit's free, just for you, my man!
Hey handsome, looking for some fun? Fifty bucks a throw.
I'll give you a good price on a Saturday Night Special. How about it?
Um, sorry, I'm actually looking for a Starbucks...

 

by Devin
2-13-03
Win with Larouche! Get out of recession, FDR-style, with Larouche!
You mean he's gonna start World War 2 again?
You a history major, huh? Beat it, we don't need intelligent people like you!

 

by Devin
2-13-03
English composition class
Aw geez, an F.
Ugh, a D-?
Eh, C-.
D+? Damn.
Ouch, a D.
Yay, A+!

 

by Devin
2-13-03
President Bush spoke out against North Korea's nuclear weapons research.
Bush cited that North Korea was violating a pact that no country would further develop weapons of mass destruction.
In other news, Congress is considering funding research of smaller, more compact nuclear weapons...

 

by Devin
2-15-03
Since you donate so much to our campaigns, we've decided to return the favor by letting you logging companies take care of our nation's forests.
Thanks a lot! You won't regret it!
The next day
Oh my god! Where'd the forest go?!
We took care of it, just like you said!

 

by Devin
2-15-03
I will break the cycle
Oh my god, who trashed my bike?!

 

by Devin
2-15-03
An unplanned pregnancy is not in my plans.

 

by Devin
2-15-03
Okay, we're finally finished with all the electronic billboards. Let's go.
Wait, we forgot to plug the signs in!
No, we do that three months later.
What, why? We're finished with the signs!
Look, do you want a three-month vacation with pay or not?

 

by Devin
2-18-03
Your honor, my client owns two mansions, endorses three major products, and just signed a multi-million-dollar contract.
The defendant, however, owns one mansion, endorsed one major product, and hasn't signed a movie deal in two years!
Objection, your honor! The plaintiff forgot to mention that the mansion that my client owns is made of solid diamond!

 

by Devin
2-18-03
Oof! You almost knocked me halfway across the room!
Sorry, Mom, I meant to do that!
Don't you mean you DIDN'T mean to do that?
Sure, okay, whatever makes you happy.

 

by Devin
2-18-03
Bush is more useful than a bag of crap!
Well, not really.

 

by Devin
2-18-03
Are you ready for a new superhero?
No, dude! I wanna watch Daredevil!

 

by Devin
2-18-03
I don't like the ads for Dead or Alive Volleyball. It degrades women by selling the idea of scantily-clad women.
And it belittles male gamers by portraying us as losers who can't get women otherwise!
Isn't that why YOU bought the game?
...Shut up.

 

by Devin
2-18-03
Stop killing our babies! Down with abortion!
You know, I'll never get why you conservatives oppose abortion. I mean, some of you probably own these clinics.
Give women the right to choose! Pro-choice all the way!

 

by Devin
2-18-03
Now, binary numbers can be represented in two ways.
There's the Big Endian assignment, and the more common Little Endian assignment.
Man, political incorrectness to the extreme.

 

by Devin
2-18-03
*HONK* *HONK* *BEEP* BEEP*
I shall grant you one wish, whatever you desire!
*BEEP* *HONK* *HONK* *BEEP*
What did you say again? God, I wish I could hear you over this damned noise!
Granted.
...NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Showing page 8.

« Previous Next »