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All comics by edoggydog

 

Groovy! 355 by edoggydog 6-09-05
...so, then I put my clothes back on and ordered crepes suzette for breakfast. Was that wild or what?! Whatever...	"Whatever"? You always say "Groovy!" in the first frame... What's going on? I don't know... I've been doing the same thing for so long, I think I'm in a rut. I'll see you later...	Sha-WING!!! Well... Whenever I'm in a rut, I find it best to fuck my way out! I beg your pardon..!

 

Groovy! 356 (Randumb Comic Layout no. 41) by edoggydog 6-09-05
Looks like we're in the clear... Groovy!	You better hurry, though. No telling when someone might walk in on us... Ladies first...	No... Since we're in the women's restroom, you should go first... Damn! This being our first date and all, and I gots to take a major dump!

 

Groovy! 357 Magnum P.I. by edoggydog 6-10-05
...then, add a pinch of rosemary and (viola!) you have a delicious vegan-style kiche! Groovy!	So, yesterday I saw a car with one of those "I'm- gay-and- taking-it-up-the-ass" rainbow stickers. And, it also had a license plate with a handicapped sticker on it... Do you know what this means? That the government now considers being gay a disability?	Exactly! I ordered my handicapped plates this morning! Then, I better get in on this before the government changes its mind! I'm off to the DMV- oh, damn! I don't even own an automobile! Shit!

 

Groovy! 358 by edoggydog 6-10-05
...so, then I woke up in a pool of my own barf. Apparently, I drank twenty-three Bass ales in a row, and ralphed all over the inside of my friend's condo! I don't remember... But, what a rad party!! Groovy!	And, the story gets even better! That particular drinking binge put me over the top in points... What do you mean?	I just made the "Booze Who" list! How ironic! That story just put you on the list for "Snooze Who"! (*yawn*)

 

Groovy! 359 by edoggydog 6-10-05
...so, then I told Lucas that it was a dumb name for a movie, and he said that the original title was "Revenge of the S-H-I-T", but the error wasn't caught until after all the posters were printed... Groovy!	"CALLING ANY AVAILABLE BOMB ROBOT! THERE'S A SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE NEAR GOVERNOR SCHWARTZENNEGRO'S HUMVEE!" And- oh, that's me! Gotta go, but I'll return and tell you the rest of the story later... Just be careful!	Later that afternoon... So... Was there a bomb in the package? Take a wild @$#% guess, bonehead!

 

Groovy! 360 Degrees (the "true" Easter Island) by edoggydog 6-10-05
?		What?

 

Groovy! 361 by edoggydog 6-10-05
...and I find that it's easier for the boys to fondle them while we're slow dancing. That's why I had the doctor move my tits to the back... Groovy!		Huh? What just happened? Apparently, edoggydog forgot to type in the copy for panel two...

 

Groovy! 362 by edoggydog 6-10-05
...and, I kept telling the guy over and over, but he wouldn't believe me. So, finally I pulled down my pants and said, "See? I am NOT John C. Holmes!" Groovy!	Say... Could you do me a favor and watch Tabby here over the weekend? Uh... no.	All righty then... I'll go ask NeoVid. Whew! Got out of that one! Now, I can spend the weekend alone watching Rush Limbaugh's video series "When Liberals Attack"...

 

Groovy! 363 by edoggydog 6-11-05
Dude... I want to tell you something, and I'd appreciate some feedback... Groovy!	After all the hours a spend on the computer doing this, I'm beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with me. Something perverted. I feel so dirty! Are you trying to say you're addicted to porn?	No, you moron! Stripcreator.com! I can't seem to be able to get off this site; not even to go to the bathroom!Please, help me!! Sure thing! I'll go get my grandmother's bed pan...

 

Groovy! 364 by edoggydog 6-12-05
Dude... I've got some great news! I friend of mine who runs a major Orange County magazine is going to be checking in on us to see if we're funny... Groovy!	Since this may be our only shot to make the big time, I need you to throw down your best joke. Remember, a lot's riding on this! Okay... Do you know the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don't eat broccoli! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA [snort!]	Dude... Step into my office because you're @%#$ fired!! Wait a minute... Let me go get my book of 1001 illegal alien jokes. They're a riot!

 

Groovy! A Year's Worth of Days by edoggydog 6-12-05
...then, the guy has the nerve to say, "Roll over," to wit I proceeded to pee all over his bedroom furniture... Groovy!	Anyhoo... Did you hear that Kuwait just appointed their first female Cabinet minister? Wow! That's quite an advancement for women in that part of the world!	Uh, not really... Turns out the only "cabinet" she'll be ministering is the one in the capitol building's kitchen... One step forward, two steps back...

 

Groovy! A Leap Year of Days (Randumb Comic Layout no. 42) by edoggydog 6-12-05
Groovy! How can you say that? We're in jail, monkey-boy!	Look on the bright side: atleast, we have a place to sleep and three square meals... ...and, the potential of being gang butt-raped in the showers!	Really? Wow! This is better than I could have imagined! Dude... This the LAST time I'm ever going to be your lookout!

 

Groovy! 367-cjs18 by edoggydog 6-17-05
Hmmm... This is a cease and desist letter from edoggydog's lawyer regarding me ripping off "Groovy!" in the comic strip by cjs18... Groovy!	If, I don't stop saying "funky!", cjs18 will be hunted down and gang butt-fucked by a tribe of Samoans from the island of Tonga. Well, there's only one thing I can say to that... Yes..?	Funky! Jumanji!

 

Groovy! 368 by edoggydog 6-17-05
Hold on in there! I've come to rescue you! Groovy!	Hmmm... What the hell do I do now? Might I make a suggestion..?	Sure... Whatever you do, don't @$#% flush!

 

Groovy! 369 by edoggydog 6-17-05
Hmmm... I think this situation is beyond my control. I will go call for someone who can save you... Groovy!	Hello? Is anyone there?	MUST CHOP FRENCH-LOOKING, FAG-BOY OUT OF TOILET!! NOOOOOO!!!!

 

Groovy! 370 by edoggydog 6-20-05
Okay... That last guy was a bad idea. But, I will come up with a plan to get you out of that toilet... Groovy!	Hmmm. Let me think... I know! Wait here. I'll have help here in a jiffy... I'm not going anywhere, bonehead...	TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE TOILET TO GET FRENCH-LOOKING, FAG-BOY OUT!! NOOOOOO- uh, wait. This could be fun...

 

Groovy! 371 by edoggydog 6-20-05
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE TOILET TO GET YOU OUT!! Groovy!	Um, "toilet"? Damn! What is Tobor's primary objective when in bathroom? Wait! Tobor remember now... Uh, oh!	TOBOR MUST PEE IN TOILET, THEN FLUSH!! Shit!

 

Groovy! 372 by edoggydog 6-20-05
Well... We finally got you out of the toilet. You are safe now... Groovy!	Do you have any questions..? Yeah. What's happened in the world these last few days I was stuck in there?	Senator Durbin compared Gitmo to Nazi concentration camps, Tiger Woods blew the Open, and Paris Hilton is still famous for some stupid reason... You can put me back in the toilet now!

 

Groovy! 373 by edoggydog 6-20-05
I JUST WON THE NORTH CAROLINA 2005 STATEWIDE HOLLERING CONTEST!! Groovy!	I'VE WON THE CONTEST FOUR OUT OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS! I FIGGER IF I WIN IT SIX MORE TIMES, NIKE MIGHT GIVE ME AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL! THAT'S IF MY LARYNX DOESN'T BLOW UP BEFORE THAT, OF COURSE!! May I say something?	SURE!! GET A FUCKING LIFE, LOSER!! LATE!!!!!

 

Groovy! 374 by edoggydog 6-20-05
Hmmm... I just got this invitation for a party celebrating Michael Jackson's acquittal... Groovy!	There's going to be "laughing and singing, hugging, hand-holding, warm milk and cookies..." And, I can bring the kids. This sounds great! Cool...	Uh, wait... "P.S. Any adult attempting to enter the party will be told to 'beat it'!" Dude... Check out that P.Y.T. next door! Mommy!

 

Groovy! 375 by edoggydog 6-20-05
...then, I shays to the usher, [hic] "Don't be shilly! I don't bend that way!" [BELCH!] Groovy!	Sho, the network [burp] turned down my idea for a new [hic] reality show involving drinking games like [hic] "quarters", "bullshit", and [burp] "drink, motherfucker-fucker-fucker, drink!" [BRAAAPP!!] Well, gee golly! That, uh, sounds like it would have been a good idea for a show... What were you going to call it..?	"Beer Factor"! [RALPH!!] Hmmm... Maybe, I'll create a reality show about makeup, and call it "Max Factor"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]

 

Groovy! 376 by edoggydog 6-20-05
...then, the woman has the gall to ask me to put my pants on! So, I told her to go sit on her thumb, and lean back on her wrist! Groovy!	Anyhoo... I just spent the weekend with my dad, and we drove up to northern California. We started out on the 15, then drove west on the 210 to I-5. From there, we drove to the 99... God! If, this is going to be another one of his boring stories, I'm going to explode!	...after driving north for five hours, we transitioned onto highway 88 east. From there, we drove 45 miles to the town of Jackson. Jackson is located 37 miles southeast of Galt...

 

Groovy! 377 by edoggydog 6-20-05
So, what do you think? Groovy!	You're not just saying that, are you? No... Seriously, you look great!	Thanks for being such a good friend! See ya... I didn't have the heart to tell him I couldn't even tell he HAD a facelift!

 

Groovy! 378 by edoggydog 6-20-05
Dude... I've got some great news! You know how I've always wanted to be in movies? Well, today I answered an ad in "Variety" from a talent agent... Groovy!	Anyhoo... The agent guaranteed me a part in the next "Star Wars" movie as an android from the planet Clango. All I had to do was pay him an upfront fee of ten thousabd dollars... Well, I hope you didn't pay him seeing how "Revenge of the Sith" was the last in that series! Late...	Shit!

 

Groovy! 379 by edoggydog 6-21-05
Dude... I just got in on the ground floor of a new company called, "MOM!" I bought 100,000 shares at a dollar apiece... Groovy!	I figure that in six months I'm either going to be buying my dream home in Corona del Mar, or standing on a street corner in Long Beach saying, "Fuck!" over and over again... Well... Good luck with that, my brothah!	Six months later... Dude... How's that investment going? FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

 

Groovy! 380 by edoggydog 6-21-05
...then, during the interview, the guy said I seemed a little "mousey". To wit I said, "No shit, Sherlock!" Groovy!	Uh, hello? You still awake in there?	Sorry... I was temporary distracted by that doofus in Butte, Montana who just logged on to this website... Dude... Check out the rack on that Swedish girl from Stockholm... Ah, shit! She just logged off!

 

Groovy! 381 (Randumb Comic Layout no. 43) by edoggydog 6-21-05
You keep an eye on the backyard, and I'll [oomph!] bar this door Groovy!	See anyone? Nope. Nary a soul...	Cool! Looks like we're in the clear for now... @%#$ Jehova Witnesses! @%#$ Jehova Witnesses!

 

Groovy! 382 by edoggydog 6-21-05
...so, then the dermatologist prescribed me sunblock to prevent skin cancer in the upcoming summer months, and that's when I decided he was a quack! Groovy!	Anyhoo... It looks like we're near victory in the war on terror... I just read on-line that Al Qaida has announced the formation of Iraqi "suicide squads". Man! They must really be depressed! Uh... These squads are going to attack innocent civilians in so-called "soft targets". Not kill themselves en masse, bonehead!	Dude... If I had muscles, I'd kick your ass! Yeah? And, if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his butt when he hops!

 

Groovy! 383 (RCL no. 44) by edoggydog 6-21-05
I am Cornholedar, from the planet Mongo. I have come here to speak to the people of Earth to promote peace and freedom for all citizens, as we have already achieved this on my own planet... Groovy!	I will be meeting with all heads of states to outline a road map for peace and prosperity for all nations. In the meantime, does anyone in the audience have a question for me..? Yeah, I do... Did you know you look like a gay Artoo Detoo?	Okay, fucker! It's on now! We came in peace, but after that snide remark from the French-looking fag-boy in the first row, we'll be invading your planet and killing every living thing in our path! Whoopsie!

 

Groovy! 384 (RCL no.45) by edoggydog 6-21-05
Okay... I called the plumber, and he'll be here in twenty minutes... Groovy!	I gotta hand it to you, though... What do you mean?	That must have been one healthy shit to cause the toilet to overflow like that! Thanks! I'm kinda proud of it myself!

 

Groovy! 385 (RCL no. 46) by edoggydog 6-21-05
Groovy! Uh, not "groovy"! I want go home!!	But, darling... It's a beautiful night out! Just look at all those stars shining in the night sky! Plus, we have this pasture all to ourselves... I don't care! I'm cold, I'm tired, and... and...	And what, baby? ...and, I just stepped in a big, steaming pile of cowshit! Yeccchhhhh!!

 

Groovy! 386 by edoggydog 6-21-05
...then, you put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up. That should clear up your rash... Groovy!	Anyhoo... I read a report that the smell of grapefruit makes women seem six years younger than they really are, so I've been bathing it for that last month. Do I seem younger to you? Why, yes... You do seem a little more vibrant...	So... You wanna come inside and bone me? Ewwwwwwwww! I'm telling dad, grandma!

 

Groovy! 387 by edoggydog 6-21-05
..and, how 'bout the backside? Groovy!	You're not just saying that, are you? No, really... You look great!	Thanks for the feedback, pal. See ya... I've heard of teeth whitening... But, "bone whitening"?

 

Groovy! 388 (Actual Random Comic Layout/Worst Case Scenario) by edoggydog 6-21-05
Groovy! Groovy!	Groovy! Groovy!	Groovy! Groovy!

 

Groovy! 389 (I wrote this at 4:24 a.m.) by edoggydog 6-22-05
So, I phoned an old friend named Heather last night... Groovy!	Uh, not "groovy"! All she kept talking about was her ex-boyfriend, Gabe. Gabe this! Gabe that! Gabe here! Gabe there! Gabe, Gabe, GABE!! Fuck Gabe! Indeed!	Hey! I resent that! Waffles!

 

Groovy! 390 by edoggydog 6-22-05
...so, after we got kicked out of the bar, I turned to my master and said, "Should I have answered 'DiMaggio'?" Groovy!	Anyhoo... I was watching the "Daily Show" last night, and Dwight Yokum said that the mammal humans are related to the closest is a dog... I don't believe that...	No, seriously... Apparently we are separated by only one chromosome... If that's true, why can't I lick my own nuts?

 

Groovy! 391 by edoggydog 6-22-05
Seriously, dude... Humans and dogs are separated by only one chromosome. I looked it up on the internet, so it must be true! Groovy!	Well..? I don't care if we're practically brothers, you're not borrowing the car tonight!	GRRRRRRRRRRRR! Keep it up, and I'll lock you in the garage all weekend again...

 

Groovy! 392 (RCL no. 47) by edoggydog 6-22-05
Groovy!	The guy at the liquor store was right...	This is some great bubblegum!

 

Groovy! 393 (RCL no. 48) by edoggydog 6-22-05
Groovy!	Someone left this snowman on my doorstep...	Gee... If, he could talk, I wonder what he would say..? I'd say take me inside out of the hot, summer sun. I'm starting to melt, bonehead!

 

Groovy! 394 (RCL no. 49) by edoggydog 6-22-05
Groovy! You said it, home-grown!	Mmm... Mmm... Mmm! You thinking what I'm thinking?	Oh, yeah! I didn't realize that horses "doing it" was such a turn on! I was talking about the farmer's daughter showering out in the open, you sick fuck!

 

Groovy! 395 by edoggydog 6-22-05
...then, I asked my blind date what she'd like to eat for dinner, and she said,"A rib joint sounds appetizing." To wit, I tossed her out on the freeway at seventy miles-an-hour... Groovy!	Anyhoo... Getting back to my original question... Should I do it or not? Uh... I don't know. Probably not...	Why not..? Dude, I just think you getting hair implants will make you look really creepy!

 

Groovy! 396 (Randumb Comic Layout numero Fitty) by edoggydog 6-22-05
Groovy! You won't be saying, "Groovy!" after I work you like an immigrant seamstress, my French-looking, fag-boy friend!	Oh, really now... Just what are you planning to do to me, cracker? Well... For starters, I'm going to jam this bayonet up your ass!	Mmm... Sexy! Damn!

 

Groovy! 397 by edoggydog 6-22-05
"We now return you to 'On the Record' with Greta Van Susteren, who has the latest news on Jacko..." Groovy!	"Even though Michael Jackson was acquitted of chid molestation, his legal woes continue. Today, one of his bodyguards was arrested today at a local beach..."	"Seems, the bodyguard beat up a woman after she said to Jackson, 'You're in my son!' In other news, Tom Cruise murders Brooke Shields, and Paris Hilton is still famous for some stupid reason..." You know what I could go for? Some beef jerky! Yummy!!

 

Groovy! 398 (RCL no. 51) by edoggydog 6-22-05
GIVE ME BACK MY PENCIL, ASS-MUNCH! Groovy!	UP YOURS! IT'S MY PENCIL NOW, DICKWEED!! My first day as a subsitute teacher...	OH, YEAH? WELL, I CORNHOLED YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT, YARD-APE!! I hope I don't fuck it up!

 

Groovy! 399 by edoggydog 6-23-05
Before we do our 400th comic, I thought we'd answer the one question everyone asks me: "How did that French-looking, fag-boy come up with the word 'groovy'?" Join us now as we go back in time... Groovy!	Circa 1971: "Gee, Marsha... I'm sorry I broke your nose with the football. I still think you look 'groovy'!" "Thank you, Peter! That was real 'groovy' of you to say that to me!" "Groovy!" Ga...ga... Ga...ga... Ga-ga-roovy!	That should satisfy everyone's curiosity. By the way... Where did you get that faggy beatnik get-up? From your daddy's closet, sphincter-breath!

 

Groovy! 400 by edoggydog 6-23-05
Welcome to Starbucks... Groovy!	What can I create for you this morning..? Just a large coffee, please...	Gee, how boring! By the way, here "large" is called "venti". Now, repeat after me: venti. V-E-N-T-I. Venti. Got it? Got it! Now, repeat after me: blow me! B-L-O-W M-E. Blow me! Got it?

 

Groovy! 401 by edoggydog 6-23-05
...then, I reached over and tweaked her nipple, which she seemed to really enjoy! I guess I found a use for my gimp right arm... Groovy!	Anyhoo... I just read on-line that the governor of Texas commuted 28 death sentences! Sweet Jesus! Doesn't that guy have enough to do than to be driving condemned convicts to the gas chamber? "Commuting" a death sentence means that the governor is saving the convict's life by giving him a life sentence instead of death, you big, dumb bucket of bolts! Shheeeeeeshhh!!	Well, that was certainly uncalled for! Waffles!

 

Groovy! 402 by edoggydog 6-23-05
...then, I played the song I recorded to the record producer, and he told me it sucked because it didn't have a "hook". [Arrrrrggghh!] So, I said, "Oh, yeah?" and preceded to jam this hook up his ass! Groovy!	Speaking of which... I just read on-line that music "piracy" is a $4.6 billion business! [Arrrrggghhh!] And, to think how I wasted all those years on the high seas... What do you mean?	I'm talking about all those port towns me and me mateys raped and pillaged! And what did we net? Only a few thousand dollars! Plus, I don't even have a retirement plan! Arrrrrggggg!! I know what you need: a nice bottle of Captain Morgan. Wait here...

 

Groovy! Quatro-Zero-Tres by edoggydog 6-23-05
Hola! Welcome to Casa de Toro's! Groovy!	What would you like to drink, senor juero? Just a large coffee, please...	Que aburido! By the way... In Tijuana, instead of "large" we say "grande". That's G-R-A-N-D-E. Grande. Comprendes, cabron? Si! And, in America, we say "lick balls"! L-I-C-K-B-A-L-L-S. Lick balls! Comprendes, maricon?

 

Groovy! 404 by edoggydog 6-23-05
"Thank you for calling 'Berets-R-Us". We're currently experiencing a high volume of calls. If you'd like to place an order, please stay on the line, and a team member will assist you momentarily." Groovy!	Three hours later... "We're sorry for the wait. Your business is very important to us. Please, stay on the line, and a team member will assist you momentarily..." Damn! I needs to take a dump something fierce!	"Thank you for holding. My name is Gerard. How may I help you..? Hello? Hello? Anyone there? Sacre bleu!" [click]

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