All comics by Bazilla

Profile

 

by Bazilla
4-07-04
Wassamatta you? Why you look so sad?
Oh, I'm just kinda down because my puppy died. And my sister moved out because she couldn't cope with my parent's divorce.
It'sa not so bad.
AND THEN my best friend commited suicide yesterday, and I need new glasses and my father tried to rape me this morning. And my mother only has 2 weeks to live because her iron lung is irrepairable.
AH, SHUDDUPPA YOUR FACE!

 

by Bazilla
4-10-04
I've never thrown my knickers at you.
And I don't come from Wales.

 

by Bazilla
4-21-04
You killed my dog!?
If by "killed my dog" you mean "took the cookies from the cookie jar" then yes.
My dog is dead?

 

by Bazilla
5-16-04
Mesa so smilin' to be seein' yousa!
QUIET YOU YOUNG INFIDEL!
Oopsie yousa lookin' da bombad sad.
JUST BE QUIET! I'VE WORKED OUT THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION.
Mesa joyous! Jus' what dis da perfect pie!?
3.141592653589793238462643383...

 

by Bazilla
5-25-04
Hi Anna, did you hear the news about a dad that was seen to kick a decomposed racecar in the high river of Argentina?
No Bob, I was busy watching Rear Window. I then put a gag in my mouth and touched my boob.
WOW! I wish I could have seen that with my eye. The image of you being a tart is too good!
Huh? I think you misheard me, I said I was busy rowing a kayak while listening to pop music by ABBA, Steps, David Bowie and the Rolling Stones
That is weird, my hearing must be bad, I blame the schools.
Well, you did jab that load of fluff from an ewe in your ear during the History lesson about the Battle of Quebec.

 

by Bazilla
5-26-04
So there I was, anally raping this chick, right.
And then, I noticed her purse was full of money, so I stole all that, too.
Then I kicked her in the face and slapped her around a bit.
Woah. You put the "sod" in "sodomy".

 

by Bazilla
5-29-04
I've got bellyache, is there anything I can take?
You put the lime in the coconut, you drink it all up.

 

by Bazilla
6-10-04
I, WILL, LIKE, TOTALLY, DESTROY, THE, WORLD.
HALT!
GAH! MY ARCH, NEMESIS, IS A-DEFEATING ME A-GAIN.
That's right!
*dieing*
Another victory for the Power Wrangler!

 

by Bazilla
7-22-04
I'm hungry.
You'll be dead in a minute.
Really?
No.
I miss my mum.
LET'S GET PUDDING!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
You know what I really miss?
What's that?
The '70s.
Ah. ...?
Yeah, they were great, what with all the music, and the clothes, and the anal rape, and the wad loads of money that appeared afterwards.
You got wad loads of money for it!?

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
What do you mean "You lost him"?
BUTTERCAKES!
Stop that. STOP THAT NOW!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
Now, I don't know how you lost him, but he couldn't have got far.
He could have...
He's just a small frog, how could he?
BUTTERCAKES!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
There he is!
...that's not him.
How do you know?
...it's a pebble.

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
Ah man, I don't know what I'd do without my frog. We've gone through so much. Like that time we both hopped inside the gravy train.
And haha, the time we went to a book fair, and he just sat there saying "Readit" at every book. I can't believe you lost him, how could you?
BUTTERCAKES!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
There he is! There he is!
...pebble again.

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
Where could he be? I've had him too short a while for him to know his way back home.
And he's probably hungry. And there's no food left for him. What do you suggest?
BUTTERCAKES!
That's your answer to everything.
Only because it solves everything.

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
I'VE FOUND IT!
If it's another pebble, I'm going to pummel you.
No! Look! It's Froggy!
...that's a tadpole. ...and it's dead.
STOP HURTING HIS FEELINGS!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
I've been here for two days, looking for him and I just can't find him. We've been through so much, and now you've just gone and lost him.
Who knows where he could be now? He could be dead, or caught in some contraption, he could be on Broadway all the way in New York, or working for Warner Brothers.
And who's to say that I'll ever see him ever again? He's gone, and he could be anywhere and it's ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!
I'm hungry.

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
Son, I don't know who you think we are. But we've got more important things to do than look for a missing frog.
But you don't understand! He's MY frog, and I can't cope without him! And he'll be cold and possibly drowning RIGHT NOW.
That may be the case, but regardless, the person, or frog, in this case, has to have been missing for three days before a search begins.
Look, you go find him right this instant, or my associate will make you well aware of the suffering I've had to put up with in the past two days.
BUTTERCAKES! BUTTERCAKES! BUTTERCAKES!
Oh man, fine, I'll find your frog, just shut this thing up.

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
Well, I've got your damn frog.
Um, officer?
What, what is it!?
...you've looked for 5 minutes, and all you've found is that pebble.
It's the same thing, and this one's easier to clean.
I suppose you may be right... but the pebble's rather on the big side.

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
Well, you finally got the pebble you whined an pined for. Are you happy now?
Not really, it's more of a monolith than a pebble. And it's more of a pebble than a frog.
There's no pleasing some people, is there?
BUTTERCAKES!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
Oh Gerald. I know you may think I hate you, but it's not that.
It's just, you're not as bouncy as my last pet. And you don't do a lot.
I offered to play Tic Tac Toe, and it was YOU who didn't do a lot, that time!
But you always cheat!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
I spy with my little eye something beginning with B...
Buttercakes.
I spy with my little eye something beginni...
Frog.
This sucks, let's play ker-plunk.

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
I'm hungry.
You're always hungry. Yet you're always eating.
Yeah, well french cuisine isn't very filling, but it's just so nice.
...french cuisine? That's what you live on?
Yes.
YOU BASTARD!

 

by Bazilla
7-28-04
YOU ATE MY FROG!
Did not.
Did too.
Oh wait... was your frog the one with the long green legs?

 

by Bazilla
8-04-04
I sure do feel like shutting up now.
Good.
...
That was boring.
Yeah, but what do you expect?
[stripmaker is like, a big fat, sad, lonely, jerk, and other generic insults]

 

by Bazilla
8-04-04
WE'RE UP FOR TEH AWARD!
...OF DEATH!
Nah man, of LIFETIME.
Sounds crap.
Oh, it's more than crap, it's Hitleriffic.
So, it this like a mirror, or what? I don't care anymore.

 

by Bazilla
8-19-04
ZSEUE!
EUZS!
SEUEZ!
ZUU@UUEEE74S!
ZEEEfEUUtUS!
BANANAPHONE!

 

by Bazilla
9-18-04
So this pirate takes his parrot to a vet and asks the vet "Is it normal for my parrot to have no nose?"
The vet replies "He has no nose!? But how does he smell?"
The pirate replies "Terrible."

 

by Bazilla
9-18-04
So, a pirate walks into a bar.
...
OW!

 

by Bazilla
9-18-04
So this pirate's hungry, so he goes to a café and orders some soup. He starts eating it but soon notices a fly.
So he complains to the waitress: "What's this fly doing in my soup!?"
The waitress replies "Backstroke."

 

by Bazilla
9-25-04
So, this guy walk's into a bar.
And he's wearing this black jacket, and has a parrot on his left shoulder.
The barman asks "Can I put my cock in your mouth?" to which the man replies...

Showing page 9.

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