All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-12-17
Doctor, what will we do if Obama-Care is repealed?
It's a Win-Win for us Nurse!
Refresh my memory.
Millions won't have healthcare so we'll just revert to our former business model. I liked wearing that old Top Hat, anyhow!
Which WAS..........
But the body hasn't thawed enough to clothe yet, sir!
Go to Plan B, nurse...the family is arriving in the parlor already and the organist gets paid by the hour. We'll just go with a "Closed Casket"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-12-17
I call this wode wage, wabbit!
Zat a fact?
Say ya pwayers, ya wascle!
Ya know what...?
What?
I liked ya betta fat, Fudd! You know...pre "Weight Watchers".

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-13-17
Phreaky is working next door. Go chat her up & see how receptive she is to your charms, then report back to me.
OK, but I'm not too sure about this.
Nice tits, baby! Wanna mate?
*?*
A real tiger, ain't she?
Blow me, ass-hole!

 

People are beginning to talk!
You must mean that Ranger dude, huh?
by Makin_d_bacon, 1-13-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-13-17
Fetch boy!
Why ME? Why don't YOU do something for a change and stop making ME do EVEYTHING? Move that lard ass of yours around once in a whi.....
STOP! Vy are you complaining so? I just wanted you to play "fetch"!
Oh! I thought you said..."kvetch"! My bad!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-14-17
Hey ragu4u, it's YOUR turn to shovel away the snow & ice!
Bah! It takes FOREVER! Do it yourself if it bothers you so badly!
...and so he did, in only 5 minutes!
There...finished!
You're DONE? ALREADY?
And you said I'd NEVER use that flame-thrower!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-14-17
Is this deli Kosher?
Look man, this is Houston, Texas.
You still didn't answer my qvestion.
I got Chinamen & beaners workin for me. What's THAT tell ya?
Let no man say ..."Ziggy Gruber...don't got chutzpah"!
Yo...Jose, are you meshugge? The pastrami HAS TO have mustard!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-14-17
Tell us Mr Trump, was anyone of the Russians involved in the "Golden Shower" incident Putin?
Let me just say THIS about THAT...
Go right ahead.
Even tho several of the ladies partook in....uh...
Yes...yes, go on!
...quite a few cabbage rolls, none of them were pootin. These bitches were CLASSY!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-15-17
If you build it, he will come!
Ok...if you say so!
There!
I think my Pops meant like...a "dog house" or something!
Complain, complain, complain...

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-15-17
...far from the tree!"
Hey old man, gimme a box of "nigger toes"!
Say wha?
You heard me, Satchmo! A box of "nigger toes" & make it snappy!
Dats what I thought ya'll said!
Later that day....
So any idea what may have caused the store owner to do this to your kid?
None! My son was an angel!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-15-17
11:45am...
Hi Kimberly, how about I buy us lunch?
Sorry Brad, but I'm not hungry.
10 minutes later...
Yo bitch...I'm hongry! Buy us some eats!
Great idea, Brooks...I'm famished! We'll eat at MY place.
Our story's "Locker Room Moral"...
I don't get it coach. She turned ME down just 10 minutes earlier...and I was buyin!
Face it kid. You can't beat a Hebrew National Salami! with an everyday weeny!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-16-17
Hi! I'm Laura Ingraham & I'm thinking of running for the Virginia Senate.
Oh you ARE, are you?
Well...THAT takes care of THAT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-16-17
At "Chez ragu-d_bacon"...
Hey d_bacon, get in here and look at this.
"Airbus" is about to come out with a flying car. I'm ordering me one NOW!
In the offices of Lloyds of London...
To be clear...YOU will be the beneficiary for a Mr.ragu4u...correct? Fifty Million is quite a hefty sum, Mr. d_bacon.
And make sure it's the kind that doubles if death occurs while driving in the air.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-17-17
At the local "Sperm Bank".....
According to this note handed to me, a client wishes to make a deposit.
A note? Why use a note?
It seems odd so I'll go inquire.
Let me know.
Moments later....
The mystery is SOLVED. A note was used because...her mouth was full.
That SLUT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-17-17
Hey honey, I found this in your nightstand.
So? It's a carrot. What's the big deal?
A carrot?
Of course. Why would you think it's anything else?
Because it was making moaning noises & vibrating like hell till the 3 batteries fell out. And where has it been? It smells like...
...like pee or poop, I bet.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-17-17
ragu4u & makin _d_bacon, on a trip...
Well, here we are! So tell me, who in their right mind, vacations in the CONGO?
US, that's who!
The place is filled with poverty, corruption, death, disease and destruction.
So? It was in our price range. Besides, we should feel right at home like in St. Louis, Missouri.
Missouri? I thought it was spelled.......... M-I-S-E-R-Y?
Totally understandable, d_bacon! Totally understandable!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-17-17
I can't believe it isn't here!
Me too. It's a freakin classic.
This place blows!
Yeah! Let's scram outta here.
You & your mule friend leaving? Not happy with our game selection, eh? What's missing?
Are you blind? "Donkey/Kong", dude, "Donkey/Kong"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-17-17
Need help young man?
What is this joint, lady?
It's called a bookstore. You DO know what books are for, don't you, young man?
Books? Oh yeah, I know. But we don't need any at my house.
You don't? Everyone needs books!
We don't. All our beds got four legs.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-18-17
Barry, I think you need to pardon Chelsea...
What did SHE do? I know her mom is a crook & her dad's a lecher but...
...Manning, Barry! Chelsea Manning!
Oh...I thought you meant....
Don't say it, honey! It'll make you sound even MORE out of touch!
*Bitch*

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-18-17
Just think of it, Rags. On Friday a new era begins.
What's wrong with the old "ERA"? It's washed my clothes fine for years, d_bacon!
Can you really be THAT stupid? A new Presidential era, moron!
What'd you say? Why I oughta....
You oughta WHAT? I don't sweat YOU!
It used to be that my Commodore 64 was the only one I let talk to me like THAT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-18-17
I'm sorry young man but the tests show you're infested with the crabs.
But that's not possible. She assured me she's clean!
A week earlier, right after sex...
Positively...you were the only one baby...the ONLY one!
I had to ask. A guy can't be TOO sure these days.
...and an hour earlier than THAT...
Remember, get the whole family and burrow in deep.
Here come our human taxis now!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-19-17
Abe tells ragu4u a joke.....
What did the guy say after he ate 2 pieces of string & then crapped them out tied together?
I'm gonna be sorry if I ask...
I give up! What did he say?
"I shit you KNOT"!
Yup..I'm sorry alright!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-19-17
Who are YOU gonna invite?
Invite? Invite to WHAT?
The "Inauguration Bash" we're throwing here tomorrow!
But the guy I wanted didn't make it!
Contrary to MUCH popular opinion, Hillary wasn't a guy, STUPID!!
I never said HILLARY! I was talking about Ross Perot!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-19-17
Inauguration Day 2017...
Our men are ALL in place, sir.
You're sure? All angles are covered, right? The F.B.I., N.S.A. and C.I.A. are ALL counting on us.
We won't let em down, sir. In fact, I was in touch with our roof-top sniper just moments ago.
Moments earlier.....
How's it look? Is it doable?
Absolutely sir! I'll make the kill shot the very first time he says "YUGE"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-19-17
Two 1st graders are having sex in the cloak-room!
The what? Cloak-room? This is the 21st Century, woman! NOBODY says "cloak-room" any more.
OK,OK...but what about these kids having sex?
Like I said..."This is the 21st Century." Just make sure they use a condom.
Listen up in there! Paul, make sure you're wearing a condom....and you too, Zachary!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-20-17
Isn't this a little "over the top"?
When our Commander in Chief says "build a wall" we build a WALL!
But this wall won't stop ANYBODY from going in or out of Mexico!
Mexico, you say?
Yeah, Mexico! But NO... you screwy neegs built it in Portland! Why?
Cheaper lumber, honky!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-20-17
Quick, d_bacon get in here! Trump is about get sworn in.
I'm gonna pass. I got something more important to do in here.
"And I fuckin promise to defend this fuckin country from all it's fuckin enemies...both fuckin foreigners and homegrown mother fuckers"!
Now THAT'S what I call "swearing in"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-20-17
We'll show TRUMP we can't be trifled with.
Let's get this "March for Women's Rights" on the move.
But shortly after hitting the streets...
Down with Trump...Down with Trump...
Up with WOMEN, Up with WOMEN...
The "Donald" reacts...as you'd expect...
Isn't this a bit of an "Over-Reation", your Royal Highness?
No way! And now I'm gonna go grab the pussy of each half dead bitch! They just love that shit! Ya know?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-20-17
You want to file for divorce on what grounds?
It's my bastard of a husband. I can't stand him.
Why? What's he done?
He BUGS me!
...and STAY out! You hear me?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-21-17
I need a product that can get rid of twat breath!
Ate at the "Y", did you?
Regularly...if I'm lucky. Got anything?
I got JUST the thing. I'll have Boozer bring out a bottle.
Here ya go pal...one bottle o "Pussy Liqour"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-21-17
Jed finds himself in a brothel....
Relax mister. First...why don't you take your hat and jacket off?
Lady, I don't think that's possible.
And why not.
Well cuz I never even tried to jack-off a HAT before.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-21-17
1967 (A True Story)
Who is it?
The mailman with your Draft Notice.
I'm not home..now beat it!
But I know you're in there and I need your signature.
Finally the door opens....
Hey, come back! It's an ink-pen...honest!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-22-17
You must be clueless! You actually plan to go out like that AGAIN? You look like a $5 hooker! Even the kid next door thinks so.
Why would you say THAT?
Yo, neighbor bitch! How's about letting me "Tea bag" ya for $5?
?
So "tea-bagging" has nothing to do with tea? No way!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-22-17
Watching the Million Women March...
" It's time we women woke the fuck up..."
Rags? Who is this tired old blonde headed bag giving this speech?
Heck d_bacon...that's "Madonna"!
During makin_d_bacon's nightly prayer
...and Lord, please clean up your mother's foul mouth. Amen!"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-22-17
Listen Tooms, I expect my woman to be an angel in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom!
Be careful what you wish for!
But that evening at dinner...
Honey...I'm home! How bout a kiss?
Touch me and I'll lop off yer pecker, you homo!
..and later, at bedtime....
So I got a little V.D. and aids! Nobody's perfect!
Tooms was so right!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-23-17
What did you say kid?
I said..."Can I get your autograph Mr. Trump"?
Hey...come back!
I can't believe it, Melania. Even a little kid STILL recognized me!
Greatness is hard to hide, Donald.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-24-17
Fan mail?
You're 1/2 right!
Oh...so it's JUNK mail?
Close! It's HATE mail!
I wonder why Obama didn't take it all with him?
It's not HIS!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-24-17
With The Whithouse Press Core....
You think Trump will take as many vacations as Obama?
That's a good question.
Then why don't we go ask him?
Let's
Tooms & I have a quick question for you, Mr. President!
OK, OK but make it snappy. The family & I are on the way to Vale for a week.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-26-17
Aren't you guys even a BIT curious?
Why should we be?
Yeah...what HE said!
You don't find it odd that a man of MY Martial Arts capabilities was defeated?
What's ODD is that you "never" die!
Maybe he's part "Timex"?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-26-17
"Oh give me a homo, where the buffalo roamo, and the queers & the antelope play..."
"...Where never is heard the squish of a turd, as my butt hole gets reamed out all day!"
Great spot for our picnic, Barry!
I knew you'd love it, Gabe!

 

The Junction of Bodily Function....
by Makin_d_bacon, 1-26-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-27-17
At Chez ragu/d_bacon.......
Rags, have you noticed the regulars have gone into hiding at Stripcreator?
Nonsense. It just SEEMS that way.
No dude...the pig is right. It's gettin kinda lonely around here.
Is this some kind of a left handed cry for bed partners, Brad?
Now I recall why I RARELY ever come here.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-27-17
Happy birthday!
Flowers? FLOWERS, you knothead? You know I'm allergic.
Sorry. I'll return them.
See that you do, dumbass...and get me something I NEED!
Later that day....
THAT"S my gift? What's it for, numb-nuts? Do I NEED it?
You will! It's for your head which I'm about to lop off, bitch!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-28-17
"Acme Co." HQ...
If it isn't Wile E. Coyote! What can we do you for?
Your products suck. They never work. They explode, catch fire, they leak, break and are harmful to the environment.
That's terrible. I'll take it up with our President immediately. Maybe he'll know the reasons for this!
See that you do or my business is going "elsewhare"!
...and that's what he claimed sir. Any ideas?
Hehehehe *Beep Beep*

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-28-17
Out with ragu4u & makin_d_bacon...
Hurry up, d_bacon. The skipper says we can drive the boat.
But rags....
BUT nothin! I've always wanted to command my own vessel!
...but this ain't no VESSEL...it's a "Long John Silver's", dude.
NO! Say it ain't so!
Hate to bust yer bubble but I think they'll let ya ring a bell on the way out!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-28-17
FINALLY! Here comes a mourner! Wait! What the hell...
Dude...loved ya in "Elephant Man"!
Bollocks!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-29-17
I'm former President Obama! Who on earth has had ME arrested?
Uh....it was your replacement, Sir!
That no good bastard has come up with some ludicrous accusations against me, no doubt!
Ohhhhh.....so THAT'S what "Trumped-Up" means?
Earlier....
Really! It HAD to be that darkie! Who else would steal all of my watermelons?
I'll put out an A.P.B. right away, Capt. Queeg...I'm mean President TRUMP!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-30-17
So President Trump...who will be your Supreme Court Pick?
Actually, it's a no-bainer. There are only two logical choices.
And they would be.....?
Judge Judy and.....Diana Ross.
But....
I know, I know! Diana isn't even a lawyer but ya gotta admit she's SUPREME!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-31-17
Stop complaining, Melania!
Donald, I'm just saying you can't go and fire EVERYONE who doesn't agree with you.
Bullshit! That little broad filling in as the A.G. had it coming.
See...you're acting like a tyrant.
Moments later......
Mrs. Trump, why are you out here without your Secret Service detail?
The ass-hole FIRED me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
1-31-17
Aw...c'mon Fonz, say it!
Et tu, Jehova?
No no no! The line that made you famous. Gimme one good "Heeeeeey"!
That seems so juvenile of you.
Then Suddenly........
WHOA! How'd I get here?
I think ya hurt his feelings, dude.

Showing page 9.

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