All comics by AnarK

 

Skeleton and Scientist by AnarK 10-08-02
Hey man, when are you going to perform that experiment? You mean the one where I pull your bones?	Yeah. What's it supposed to cure? Uhh, I'm not really sure since I am a scientist	Hmm..sounds like a fun time Hope he has a good HMO

 

Robot Breakup by AnarK 10-08-02
I'm sorry but I don't really date bots. They tend to be annoying and subversive But I thought you loved me. What is your problem anyways?	This is harder than I thought You should know better. I am a bot and I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I loved you with all my heart. What happened? Am I too cold and mechanical? Do my bolts squeak too much?	Well I will miss the awesome robo sex. After all, there is no thing like it. Hell yeah! At least I got something out of it. I'm not a loser after all. Whoo hoo!

 

Squiggy the Clown by AnarK 10-08-02
Ok, and what exactly were you doing when your car was stolen? Uhh, looking at kiddie porn on my computer	Umm, excuse me? Child pornography is against the law, Mr.Squiggy Oh right. Actually, I was getting a blowjob from a she-male	Excuse me? No wait..I was actually robbing someone's house when my car got stolen

 

Bondage Deal by AnarK 10-08-02
So what do you do in your "dungeon"? Well..let's see. Hmm. I do spank you really hard with a paddle.	Is that all you do? Don't you tie me up and ride me like a pony? Actually, we don't cater to that crowd. But we do tie people to beds and stuff	Hmm..and how much will you be charging? Vusa, Mastercard, AmericanExpress or if you prefer..your panties.

 

Santa gets the shock of his life by AnarK 10-08-02
An elf with a gift approaches Santa Oh hello my friend. And what have you for me? It's a present for you, Santa from all of your underpaid, overworked and non-unionized elves	Naturally, Santa is fearful. Oh (chuckling nervously). Shall I call the TIPS program or something? Nah. We don't believe in that garbage. Besides, you deserve what is coming to you.	But, good things come to those who deserve them. Uhh ok. Umm, can you at least put that through a metal detector? Uhh..nope. Our contract states that it's not a crime to give your boss a gift. So take it or shove it!

 

Squiggy The Clown #2 by AnarK 10-09-02
So this is Hell, eh? Uhh, yes. What do you expect?	Cool. So where do I sign up for the orgy? What orgies? This is Hell. We don't have orgies	Whew, it's HOT! Don't you have Central Air at least? Wow. This guy should have gone to Heaven. What a numb nut!

 

The Adventures of Dubya the Pirate by AnarK 10-09-02
Dubya holds an impromptu press conference on Iraq Mr.Bush, what are your thouughts on Saddam Hussein? Arr, I'll plaster his scurvy hide with patriot missles and take his oil!	Mr.Bush, what about the UN disapproval and the growing opposition to your war? Arr, shiver me timbers! I'm only trying to protect Americans from themselves. We must terrorize terror!	Proof that a moron is running our country Mr.Bush, are you even aware of what your doing? Arr, Dick Cheney writes all the speeches. I just talk like a puppet with his hand up me arse. Next question

 

Deal with the Devil by AnarK 10-09-02
Desperate, a serial killer offers to make a deal with Satan Oh geez, I hate prison so much. I wish I could go to a better place I'll make a deal. How's this?	Confused by his surroundings, he chooses to make another deal with Satan Uhh, where am I exactly? Hell? Nah this isn't much better Not satisfied, eh? How's this?	Realizing how miserable he really his, the serial killer ponders suicide Hi, I'm Christopher Lowell and on my show today, we'll be redecorating my bedroom. Ta-ta! Oh God. I wish I was dead right now

 

Smoke, Choke and Croak by AnarK 10-09-02
The tobacco industry is notorious for it's lies and denial As an advocate for the Tobacco Industry, I urge you all to smoke, choke and croak! Mr.Stinkybutt, what do you have to say about Lung Cancer?	It's come to the point, where they exerices extreme ignorance Lung Cancer? Har har. Like smoking can cause THAT. Pure Hearsay! What about hikes in the cigarette taxes?	Even Satan has a piece of the action People are so gullible and desperate, they'll fork out 40 bucks for a carton of cigarettes. Har har. What a bunch of morons! Gimme my share of the sales or I'll doom you to riding my huge cock for eternity!

 

Squiggy the Clown #3 by AnarK 10-10-02
Say kid, ever see a TROUSER SNAKE? Ewww! Mommy!	How dare you frighten my daughter? You PERVERT! But it's true. I do have a trouser snake named Peter. Want me to show him to you?	Well Peter, looks like we'll never meet anyone cool in this town. Probably. And I'm a Tenacle, not a trouser snake! Dammit! You stupid clown.

 

Pimpin' Ain't Easy by AnarK 10-11-02
Britney's filming a new music video... Baby, just fuck me one more time, cuz I want your meat up my skank arse, ya ya, oh I love you soooooooo Halt, Britney. You've got a visitor	When a pimp by the name of Horatio shows up.. Yo Britney, how'd you like to work for a smoooooothhhhh pimp like myself? You'll get plenty of drugs and boooze! Well I did just kinda break up with Justin. Hmm. Lemme think.	Pimpin' ain't easy This Sucks. I'll never be a good pimp. You tell me. I just murdered a cop.

 

Dubya the Pirate #2 by AnarK 10-15-02
How the Democrats sold out the Left So, youse Democrats finally decided to come around and support my cause, eh? Arr, I knew youse were such a gullible bunch Well you see, Mr.President, We thought that it would be the right thing to do. After all, we do have to please the corporations that tug on our strings	Silence! Admit to me that you are a bunch of cowards! Har har har. Besides, it don't make a difference because we're going to war! I wonder what would have happened if we didn't tag along..hmm	Just another example of how too similar both parties are Well any last words before the bill gets passed? Uhh...hmm..NOPE. In fact, I think this is going to work out just fine.

 

Smoke Choke and Croak #2 by AnarK 10-15-02
The Tobacco industry has been known to use all kinds of false claims to justify their business. (hack hack hack) so say sir, can you hand me another pack of cigarettes? Why sure! It will be my pleasure. As an advocate for Big Tobacco, I never miss a chance to promote our products.	It's no surprise, that more and more people come back for of all things...Tobacco. Say sir, do you know where I can find the latest pack of Black Death cigarettes? Smokers come in all ages and sizes. In fact, we don't take a certain age group for granted. Whether they're 9 or 99, we don't discriminate!	You have to wonder what the next generation of Smokers are going to tell THEIR children.. In fact, you'd be surprised how much young people think that smoking is Hip and Rad and all that. It's so Phat. that it makes me a millionaire! Mr.Stinkybutt, mommy says that you give out ciggy-retes. Can I have some ciggy-retes?

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