All comics by Bathmat_and_Rubbing

 

At Work On Christmas Eve
Scrooge, it's Christmas Eve, and I was hoping I could leave early on account of my family. May you tally the books?
Sometimes around here I talk to myself and say, "LEDGER, I have a hard time quitting you."
I suppose you want Christmas Day off too. Then arrive here that much earlier the next morning to make up for it!
Thank you! Now I can FACE up to the rest of my work day. I still have a little to MAKE-UP. Have you seen my HEATH bar?
Tiny Tim! Where is your crutch? Hey, remember the good times when I would deal you a JOKER instead of a jack?
"Good times" as in last month? My legs had to be amputated because I lost the card money! Now I play chess, and I win with THE DARK KNIGHT.

 

Carl Icahn, billionaire financier, aboard the Enterprise
Captain, I have five times your strength and a washboard for a stomach!
Oh, yeah? I have a six-pack, and . . . a few extra cans thrown in for good measure. Washboard? Then do my laundry!
Icahn, you have my ship, and I want it back!

 

Captain, how does it feel to want? My WIFE died on Earth listening to the Jonas Brothers! I just killed your appetite!
Icahn!
I feel for your loss, sir. The Paramount cafeteria will miss you too.
How sweet! Kirk called me an icon.

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