All comics by Decay

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by Decay
3-02-01
I AM DEATH. I HAVE COME FOR THE ONE CALLED DAMIEN.
...
WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?
Over here. This is about that carpentry accident, isn't it?

 

by Decay
3-02-01
So this is Hell?
YES. YOU WILL SPEND AN ETERNITY HERE IN TORMENT.
A lake of fire, huh? How Biblical.
YES, BUT WE'VE ALSO HAD MAJOR R&D DONE OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS, AND HAVE ADDED SOME NEW, INNOVATIVE TORMENTS INVOLVING COUNTRY MUSIC.
All I can say is, it's not much to look at.
BITCH,

 

by Decay
3-02-01
Being condemned to Hell sucks.
It's not so bad. Come on, I'll show you around.
Gee, thanks... AHH! A Lovecraftian horror! An antediluvian nightmare!
Pleased to meetcha, name's Dave.
..."Dave"? I was expecting something more like "Yog-Kothag" or something.
You're not in Kansas anymore, stick-boy.

 

by Decay
3-02-01
And, here we have the capital city of Hell, Dis.
Dis? It looks like Detroit.
...
Things starting to make sense now, stick-boy?
The truth is more horrible than I ever thought possible.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
Oh. My. GOD.
I AM your god now, Stick-Man Damien!
You're... You're... I... You're...
Yyyyyyes?
...do... do you work in a pet shop?
That is NOT FUNNY!

 

by Decay
3-03-01
Okay, if you're Satan, prove it.
Launch ZIGs. For great justice.
Huh, I guess you are Satan.
If you need more proof, I have a copy of the Hamsterdance song around here, somewhere.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
So you're Satan? Ruler of Hell?
Yes, and you will suffer unspeakable pain and agony under my control!
Torture?
You better believe it.
So, like, I'm gonna have my CDs taken away? Can I at least keep my SYL albums?
Oh, it's going to be *fun* breaking you in, new meat.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
Jesus. You alright, Damien?
*sigh* Hi, Dave. Satan's diabolical servants chopped me up and threw me in here. Then they filled the can with vinegar. But at least they took the nail out.
...they just dumped you here? In Dis?
Yeah. And they said they were coming back tomorrow to destroy and torment me some more.
Why don't you just leave? Detroit Metro airport isn't even that far from here.
I'd like to, but you'll have to carry me. They took my legs and made them into bookends.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
There you go, stick-boy, good as new.
Wow, this is great, thanks Dave! So how'd you get my legs back, anyway?
Well... Uh... *mumble*
Say what?
They're not your real legs. I just bent a pair of coathangers straight.
...huh. You'd think I'd notice something like that.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
Nietzsche said that God is dead, but if that's true, does that mean Satan is also dead? Can one exist without the other?
I believe that Nietsche wasn't speaking specifically of the Christian God, but of an undefined Creator. Taken from that angle, the question itself is meaningless.
Well, in that case, would that undefined Creator, when taken in a Christian context, encompass both God and Satan? Or perhaps it is irrelevant from a Christian perspective.
I don't think it's really irrelevant so much as incompatible with Christian beliefs, but from that perspective, then I believe it would include both God and Satan.
Now, given these assumptions, can we then assume that Satan is dead? And if so, does that mean I can leave Hell?
No, you're staying the Hell in Hell. Now get lost before I eat you.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
Excuse me, couldja tell me which way to Detroit Metro?
Just keep heading west, dude.
Thanks alot.
No problem.
Man, people in Detroit are really nice and helpful.
Well, if you're an eight-foot tall, hideous fiend from out of time, then, yeah, I guess they would be.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
YOUR ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE WILL NOT SUCCEED, STICK-MAN DAMIEN. IN PUNISHMENT, YOU ARE BEING SENT TO THE HELL OF 1337.
Oh, no, Death! Just stay away, I'm armed! Dave! DAVE! Where are you, Dave?!
DAVE IS... OCCUPIED. COME WITH ME, STICK-MAN DAMIEN, YOUR FATE IS UNAVOIDABLE.
Oh, my GOD! What have you done with Dave, you bastard?!
Hey, baby. Come here often?
Get *away* from me, *loser*.

 

by Decay
3-03-01
Stick-Man Damien, for your attempt to escape, you are hereby condemned to this, the lowest, scummiest part of Hell, the 1337 Circle, the Hell of Leet. Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Please... Just tell me what you've done with Dave...
Dave's fate is no concern of yours! Now, writhe here in agony, worm!
I can take anything you can throw at me! Do your worst, Satan!
H3Y D00D! B31n6 d34d 1z M4D K3WL!!!!!!1
Fear is the little death, fear is the mindkiller...

 

by Decay
3-03-01
You have learned well, young grasshopper.
So, basically, it's dressed-up stupidity.
Well, the idea with surrealism is that the humour is induced by the utter unexpectedness and unpredictableness of the situation in the comic.
I dunno, it doesn't seem funny.
It's an attempt by our author to get some surrealist humour out.
Mr. Tiki Mask, why are we talking in reverse order?

 

by Decay
6-08-01
I have to get out of here...
bL4H bL4H bL4H 1337 bL4H bL4H bL4H m4d ju4r3z bL4H bL4H bL4H!
How did Dante escape from Hell? I wish I'd have paid attention in school...
bL4H bL4H bL4H m4N$0n r0X m4h c0k! h3 1z 1337!
WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!
3Y3 W1LL H4X0R J00 L4YM0R!!!

 

by Decay
1-12-02
Alright, maybe you can help. How do we get out of here?
j00 w0uld n33dZ d4 m4dd3s7 sk1llz 2 d3f347z d4 r00l3r 0f d4 h3ll 0f 1337!!!1
"Sk1llz"? What sort of "sk1llz"?
j00 n33d 2 b347 d4 tr14lz 0f t3rr0r!!!1 1f j00 7h1nk j00 R k-1337 enuff, j00 c4n f1nds d4 r00l3r 0v4r th3r3!!!1
But you never told me what sort of sk1llz I'll need!
J00 Mu57... *H4X0R D4 61B50N!!!!!!@*

 

by Decay
6-07-02
7h15 w1ll b 4s m4d f4r 45 3y3j4m f0ll0w1ng j00, k-h0m3-d4wg!!!11 j00 mu57 f1gh7s d15 b477l3 0n j00 0wn!!!1
Uh... Thanks for all your help, I guess.
You know... I'm actually going to miss him.
br1ngz m3 b4ck a h0!!!!!111
No, I'm not.

 

by Decay
10-23-02
I wonder what the master of the Hell of 1337 will be like...
Probably some hideous demon from the depths of the most horrible nightmares of madmen, no doubt...
...it just gets more and more horrible.
GRAH I AM TEH PAPERCLIEP OF DOOM

 

by Decay
2-29-04
The things I have seen... The horrors I've had to endure... I have transformed from the inside. I have been acquainted with the darkness inside the world.
And so, I fester, in the bowels of Hell, my hate and rage my constant and only companions. This I have vowed: I will rise again to visit my wrath on those who scorned me in life.
Dude, you sound like a White Wolf sourcebook.
Look, shut up! Drinking nothing but burning hot cola for a year hasn't helped my writing ability any, alright?

 

by Decay
2-29-04
So where *have* I been for the last year?
In Hell.
I already knew that!
And you've been masturbating five times a day.
I hate you.
Oh, wait, was this supposed to be one of those exposition things for the readers? Okay, well, it all started with your fight against To Mega Therion...

 

by Decay
4-30-05
The long days in Hell begin to wear on Stick-Man Damien's psyche...
So what are you in for?
I KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE. WITH MY KILLING CLAWS.
Ha! Yeah, that'll do it.
WELL, YOU KNOW. SOMETIMES, YOU JUST NEED TO KILL PEOPLE WITH YOUR CLAWS.
You're telling me.
THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING, MAN. LET ME BUY YOU SOME HELL BEER. AND BY THAT I MEAN URINE.

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