All comics by JaguarWarrior

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by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
LOL A HOMAGE TO SPIKEXOR CUZ LIKE HES IS COOL AND STUFF
AND CUZ LIKE HES NOT HANGING FROM A CROSS!!
Aliens from outer space
I WANNA MARRY SPIKEXOR
NO BITCH HES MINE!LOL!
I can do better than that...
WELL YOU CANT CUZ SPIKEXOR CAN DO IT BETTER THAN ME!

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
I learned that if you say the frase "LOL" you're cool
LMAO Where did you learn that???
I said "WTF" to my boyfriend once
LOL
Damn, you're cool
LMAO makes me even cooler

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
You know what's cool about Discovery Channel?
No, what?
The free porn. I mean, it's animals but it's something
...
Alright, catch ya later
I'm going to stand over there

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
Tehehehehe, no, tehehehehehe
Hi little girl...want some candy?
I'm charging you with use of alcohol in front of a minor, pedophilia, child molestation, poluting the air with your foul breath and tainting America's youth, for racial discrimination
I didn't even touch her, I just talked to her
I'm also charging you for resisting arrest, assault of a cop, still drinking but this time in front of an idiot
I just tapped you so you could hold my drink!!How is that assault and resisting arrest?And this is orange juice..yea

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
I'm so sorry, God. I killed my grandmother because she was a bitch. I wanked to my sister. I slaughtered an innocent kitty. I ran over my school teacher. Oh please forgive me Lord, please.
It's okay, my son. Have you done other sins?
Yes, Lord...I made a blog and used the words "LOL" "WTF""OMG""LMAO"
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!
I guess I get what I deserve for being such a dumbfuck
LOL WTF LMAO OMG K THX BI ^_^ ROFL

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
Cowboys are gay
I have a horse...
No one likes cowboys
Oh yea?!
Dude, that's so goth...
How about now?!

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
But...Arcodimorius!
But nothing, my love. We cannot see each other anymore.
BUT WHY?!?!?!?!
BECAUSE YOU ARE A DEMON!I'm supposed to be killing you. Plus God gets pissed off about this
I knew that God was racist, I knew it!
Duh, remember what happened when Hitlerianis fell off his lap and down to Earth?That was his favorite grandson

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
Girl, I was cybering with a 23/m/CA yesterday, God, he's so good at it
Damn!Well, I broke up with latinplaya69 cause he wouldn't cyber with me and I went out with surferboy182 but gothicnightmare12 caught me so he dumped me but I have emopunkdbzsk8ter and blink182fan
Today, I'm going to pretend to be a 18 year old cheerleader with C-cups
That's nothing, I'm meeting up with this hot 25/m/Fl tomorrow night behind Walmart at 11 PM, I don't know why so late but I'm so hyper about it!OMG!HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ORLANDO BLOOM!
That's nothing, I lost my virginity when I was 11 with a 14/m/NY last year. First and best cyber EVER!
That's nothing, my guys keep telling me that my way of typing is cute and that I sound sexy

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
I know you let me die Father, because they didn't know what they were doing. You took me back because you love me. I know it.
No, I took you back because damn, I swear, you washed their brains and now they'll be stupid forever. I sent you down there to burn Bibles and create corruption, now I have to invent slavery
I am so sorry Father, I promise in the name of my love towards you that it will never happen again
You're damn right it wont...
Alright, get him out. We will take turns on bashing him with a Bible

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
Behind Walmart, our little cybering bitch encounters 25/m/FL
You are not 25/m/Fl and you don't look like Orlando Bloom!
NO!I AM 44/m/TN and I have a gay cat!I PWNED U!LOLORZ!
Well, whatever, let's cyber!
Little girl...I have a more advanced way of cybering when I meet girls person to person
Ok!I'm taking off my clothes slowly and kinky just for you...
Just close your eyes and relax. Nothing bad will happen.

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-09-04
Hello, 12/f/Fl, I'm detective 38/m/Fl, I'm sorry to tell you that your friend was found raped and murdered this morning behind Walmart
WHAT?!?!?!?NO THIS CANNOT BE!HOW DID IT HAPPEN!
She met up with 44/m/TN and they cybered in a more advanced way
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!
I'm sorry, 12/f/FL but...your friend got Pwned...
NO!IT'S A LIE!lLET ME SEE THE CONVO!

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-10-04
Who are you?asl?gotta girlfriend?
I'm Satan, 2132/m/TX, and no, but that's not the point. You sinned, you had sex with a married man
But...we just cybered in a more advanced way...besides, he's the one who did it all, I wasn't watching
Well...fine. I'm not a bad guy either. You can ask George Bush if you want. Your punishment will be...Heh heh heh
84/m/India ready to get it on with you little girlie i'm caressing my anus hair for you only
NOOOOOOOOOOO!THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!!!!

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-24-04
12/f/FL attempts to bring back 13/f/FL from Hell
I'm going to get you out of there, 13/f/FL
Logging on AIM, 967534723894273984232434928374892 users cybering, 12 having a normal conversation. Now cybering with 2132/m/TX
sxyblond4u: GIV ME MY FRIEND BACK!!1111mofurfokiagbastrdbitchashole HotasHell:no1lol fuk u bitch
And So 13/f/FL has been saved from the pits of hell
sxyblond4u: i haff big boobies rofl HotasHell: OMG!u can hav her bak 2morw k thx

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-24-04
I hope you learned your lesson, 13/f/FL. This world is filled with pedophiles and this will not happen again, right?
a/s/l?
Erm....27/m/FL. I am blonde with blue eyes and I have a six pack. I work out every day and I have a tan
Mmmmm....I bet you'd love to fuck me
Hell yea, come on, just close your eyes...
Yes!Cybering in a more advanced way!

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-24-04
Dude, I'm hungry, we've all been following you for days and days without stopping.Where the fuck are we going?
Damn, I guess that Iraqi whorehouses don't exist. Well, my children, I'll now feed you bread and fish from this basket!
Dude, there's only 5 pieces of bread and 2 fishes, how are you going to feed 24230847239 people with this?
I have a few thousands fishes up my ass for reserve, but for bread...
Dude, this bread is too soft and smells really horrible!
Well, if you don't like it, eat shit...*snickers*

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-24-04
Oh my Lord, I'm so sorry, I will never sin again and pray for your safety in Heavens forever and ever 'til judgment cometh
I....I...I can see a good view of your tits from here....
Jesus is a man...so...
Oh Lord, what could I ever do to not go to hell!*cries*
Just....get...a bit...closer...
Pw3nd!
Hey!One of the nails is hanging out!Get me the hammer!
Nonononononono!

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-24-04
*gnaw gnaw*
Forgive me, Father. They don't kno--!!!!!
!!!!!THUMP!!!!
rofl
Someone lift up my cross and kill that fucking squirrel!!!

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-26-04
My People!I come here to tell you that I am the son of God!I am also here to tell you that I killed Jimmy Hoffa!I shot JFK!The hindus are responsible for the 9/11 attacks!
Also!The Olsen Twins practice bestiality!George Bush is a nazi!AOL sucks a lot and Michael Jackson is in fact Jack the Ripper!
hoohrj...too late for that
Oh, you did not just say that about AOL...I'm going to crucify you

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-26-04
In the beginning of the world
Satan, I'm bored
Let's play a game!
Alright,In a period of seven days, I'll make the most perfect world, with the most perfect man. Everything will be just perfect, then you'll have to see if you can corrupt him to win
Hmmm....that shouldn't be hard...at all...
A week later in Eden
How...can those...mountain of flesh...tantalize me so good...
Let's go eat apples, some snake told me to

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-28-04
The Ultimate Battle
This is a fight to the end, pencil!I had enough of you burning my people!
lol yo sup
AAAAAHHHH!!!!!
lmfao!d00d wtf u sux
Thanks to Luke for letting me plagiarizeh his character
I AM NOT GOING DOWN ALONE!BITCH!
OMFG G2G K THX BI

 

by JaguarWarrior
2-29-04
*sigh* Hi, Mr. Squirrel...I'm just sitting here...feeling sad over the loss of my girlfriend...I feel so alone and melancholic...
hoorhj
*sigh*Do you know what's the best way to suicide...?One that's quick and not so painful...
hoorhj
What does hoohrj means?We might never know...
Yea, hoohrj, whatever
FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!YOU SAID IT WRONG!

 

by JaguarWarrior
3-07-04
Dude, I just beat my Russian friend at chess and he's supposed to be better than me cause he's Russian
That was a stereotype statement...
What are you talking about?Russians are as good on chess as hispanics are good at soccer
Yet another stereotype statement...
I'm not racist, only americans are racist. I, on the other hand, am a German.
I rest my case...hoorhj

 

by JaguarWarrior
5-23-05
Oh yes...baby...lick harder please...
*lap lap lap*
Start sucking...please...Helen? Sweetheart?
*lap lap lap lap*
You're not Helen...
WOOF!

 

by JaguarWarrior
5-23-05
I claim this island as part of the Confederation. Long live the South!
What the fuck...?
HAHA! I BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT! FAGGOT!
ARGHARGHARAGGAGHH!!!!!!!

 

by JaguarWarrior
5-23-05
People think that I actually resurrected three days after my death.
But really, if I had the strength to move a huge rock and walk around with underwear only, I would've had the balls to get off this cross, it really fucking hurts.
Then again, people are stupid. They really believe that my mom was a pregnant virgin. I mean, how often do you see those?

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