All comics by Pretty_Generic

Profile

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02
It makes you think, doesn't it? How can one man treat another like that? We're exposed to so much creative thought in just one day, you'd think that people could recognise their own actions within.
Please get out of my house.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02
Did you see that mushroom cloud?
You see all kinds of mushroom clouds, but they were made with different types of bombs. The Hiroshima bomb did not make a mushroom. It was what I call a stringer. It just came up.
It was as black as hell, and it had light and colours and white in it and grey colour in it and the top was like a folded-up Christmas tree.
Anybody ever give you a hard time?
Nobody gave me a hard time.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02
Let me ask you a question, the kind of question I know you hate. How, if you had to in twenty-five words or less, describe Richard Nixon, what twenty-five words would you choose?
Well, that's one that I probably not only would hate to answer, but one that I simply am unable to do.
If -- if I had time to sit down and write it out, maybe I could answer it.
But I don't think I could do it now.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02
Many of the Arabic as well as the Western mass media accuse you of terrorism and of supporting terrorism. What do you have to say to that?
Terrifying an innocent person and terrorizing him is objectionable and unjust, also unjustly terrorizing people is not right.
The terrorism we practice is of the commendable kind for it is directed at the tyrants and the aggressors and the enemies of Allah, the tyrants, the traitors.
In today's wars, there are no morals, and it is clear that mankind has descended to the lowest degrees of decadence and oppression. They rip us of our wealth and of our resources and of our oil.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02
Spring, in the park.
The Nasdaq Market Ticker.
Monitor your investments right on your desktop.
Updates automatically every three minutes, and can be sized to fit your screen.
It is simple to install.
Yeah, this little town has sure changed since the bankers came riding in.
Detailed information is just a click away.
Share with a friend.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02
You wanna come sit with me?
                                                                                                    
                                                                                                    

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-09-02
Your phrase is ... "Tupac Administers His Flesh Monkeys From Beyond The Grave"
pst!... "Tupac Administers His Flesh Monkeys From Beyond The Grave"!
ok... "Tupac Administers His Flesh Monkeys From Beyond The Grave"
Pardon? I got something about Tupac administering his monkeys, but that's it.
You can't play Chinese Whispers for shit, Jesus.
We're playing a game? Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I'm just finding it hard to concentrate at the moment. Sorry.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
Malcolm's career in arts television interviewing was getting off to a rocky start.
Gabriel García Márquez, your winning the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982 distinguished your methodology of magical realism as one of the great literary forms of that century...
Um, I think you've got the wrong interview room, man. I'm not actually Gabriel García Márquez. I'm Melvin Greenleaf.
I was the assistant bee wrangler on Candyman II: Farewell to the Flesh.
Do you... do you like "Will and Grace"?
That's a pretty funny show!

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
Germaine Greer, you've been a pioneer of the "new female militancy", a figurehead of modern anarchist thinking and a sucessful novelist; what element of that life are you most proud of?
Mmm...
Ms Greer... Ms Greer, what element... of your whole life and... and...
Mmm! Ah!

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
Zhang Ziyi...
Cock!
Zhang Ziyi, why is...
COCK!
That's great, thank you very much for your time.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
Back at the Chief Commissioner's office
Boss, I'm not feeling good in this role. I just don't think arts interviewing is a good career turn for me.
You of all people know I'm damn good at this job. But I don't feel like I'm getting the truth out of people anymore.
I understand. I guess we could try moving you back to the political division.
Megawati Sukarnoputri...
COCK!

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
Lúgi-barúgi

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
Garçon!
Garçon!
Garçon!

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
What can you tell me about...

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-11-02
I AM SINGULARLY APATHETIC ABOUT THE MEANS BY WHICH YOU ARE CURRENTLY SATIATING YOUR HUNGER
I AM SINGULARLY APATHETIC ABOUT THE MEANS BY WHICH YOU ARE CURRENTLY SATIATING YOUR HUNGER
Yes, yes, you said.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-12-02
The trial at the International War Crimes Tribunal continues unabated...
So, hows you feel about these new vests at Wal-Mart, former mute Japanese Bond girl Run Run Run Run?
Why ... aren't ... you ... running?
Guh!
That's nobody's business but the Turks.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-12-02
Serge Gainsbourg, how do you respond to calls for your reinstatement at the YMCA central council?
Jennifer Love Hewitt, what can you tell us about the future of rap?
Emperor Akihito, be straight - will 90s "baggy" Manchester pop-rock kill Latin America's chance at joining the first world?
KABBADDI

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-12-02
Kalashnikov.
WARN YE I AM CARRYING CLAMS
ACH NO
Uzi.
BUT YES
IT IS BECAUSE OF MEN LIKE YOU THAT ALL MUST BE DESTROYED
Colt.
OH NEW ENGLAND
DUM DE DUM DE DUM DUM-A-DUM DAY.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-12-02
The Eglinton Management Centre received responses to its survey from 50 chief executives, chairs and senior managers in public sector bodies.
DJ Slugo, what can you tell us about...
BLECK-FOIL-BNADGE-BOY-GEP-NITTY-GRITTY I'm sorry, I have to stop you there, Malcolm. I'm receiving an incoming BROADCAST FROM HQ!
Saddam Hussein has told a British MP Iraqis are really, really upset that the UK has turned "against them" - comments which Number 10 said changed nothing and that .
SLUGO! Thank God you're safe. We feared the worst. WE FEARED YOU HAD EXPERIENCED BLANCMANGE
ma ma ma UH MA, MAO MAO, UH MA UH MA, MA MAO, UH UH MA, UH MA, MAO MAO, UH MA UH MA MA MAO
To say that taxpayers were funding Eurocrats' sex lives was, the spokesman said, blown out of proportion. LET'S TURN ASININE EVERYBODY'S ASININE COME ON SURF SAFARI WITH ME.
I can't say I fully understand, but I respect your culture, DJ Slugo.
I'S GONNA BLIND YOU

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-23-02
Are you really Philip Glass?
Who is Philip Glass?
He's a composer known for his pioneering use of...
KABADDI!

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-29-02
Arguably the most perfect embodiment of human feeling in art, the film's devastating emotional impact is drawn as much from what is unsaid and unshown as from what is revealed.
It captures the profound and infinite through simple vignettes and unsurpassed composition that juxtapose modernity and true humanity. It lives beyond the screen and - finally - contains us all.
Wow. You really liked 'The Making Of "Big Momma's House"'.

 

by Pretty_Generic
8-30-02
WARN YE I AM CARRYING GEFILTERFISH
ACH NO
BUT YES
IT IS BECAUSE OF MEN LIKE YOU THAT ALL MUST BE GEPHAALED
Vladimir Propp

 

by Pretty_Generic
9-13-02
As the Bulgarian representative and president of the Security Council for the month of September, may I hear votes from permanent members on the Iraq resolution?
China says aye, with reservations.
"Very well, Serge Gainsbourg?"
France has been convinced. She says aye.
The Russian Federation says aye, and thanks our American friends for turning a blind "aye" in Chechnya. Hoho.
"Philip Glass, representing Her Majesty?"
The United Kingdom votes aye and also thanks our American friends for providing this opportunity. So, it's down to you, USA.
Nay.... FUCK!

 

by Pretty_Generic
9-15-02
David Lynch and Philip Glass commence their two-act opera chronicling the lives of two first-generation Irish immigrant families in picket-fence middle America. Act I:-
MOUF.
Ain't dat d'truth?
Act II:-
GUINNE ----- ain't dat jus' fine?
GUINNE ----- this HEART uhv MAAHN.
[rapturous applause]
(--phaal--)
(kudos!)

 

by Pretty_Generic
9-15-02
A mutual love and respect is growing between David Lynch and Philip Glass...
A gentle jape...
You maul the ball of wax to whack the rough tracks?
I max the licked skillz in the mix, so relax.
As the evening whiles away...
Vole?
No thanks, I've just had a... a spicy chicken dish.

 

by Pretty_Generic
9-20-02
BARTOK

 

by Pretty_Generic
9-20-02
Are you really Phillip Glass?
I am Richard Nixon, and Philip has one "L" in that instance.
You are mighty precise.
You see?
Sinister...
Are you really Phillip GAMELAN? GAMELAN?
I am Richard Nixon, and Philip has one "L" in that GAMELAN. GAMELAN GAMELAN-GAMELAN.

 

by Pretty_Generic
9-20-02
Gastro-enterite...
PHAAL
I must face my fear.
GAMEL... I mean "PHAAL"! Yes, that's... that's right... "PHAAL"! Ha! Ha! "Phaal"! Yes...!
But you were a lesbian all along!
No, that's incorrect and innacurate.

 

by Pretty_Generic
9-20-02
Behind the scenes
O Mr M. Night Shyamalan? I want to complain about my role. It is minimal to say the least.
I understand. I tell you what... how about you shut the fuck up, and I'll allow you to smeel my behind.
Bottlenose
The comforting lexiconophobic invented word "smeel" was a lesbian all along!
WHAT CAN I SAY YOUR BANG ON THE MONEY
Behind the apusdo (Having Established that Ed's Got A Boner)
But what about the beer then boy?
PLOT-TWIST THROT-LIST BOT-FIST GAROTTE-GIST QUIXOTE-QUEST MOAT-FEST LOBE special thanks to the indiginous Maouris of, yes, southern New Zealand for your invaluable location-sourcing advice [[[GUOPF]]]

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