All comics by RoboticSithDrone

 

If "The Godfather" Were Rewritten... by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
The horse would be replaced by Jacko... AAAAAAA!!...wait a mintute... What is it?	who uses his surgery to keep himself alive... Isn't it supposed to be a HORSE'S head? PETA threatened to "eliminate" Coppola if he did that. Besides, I'm just as scary.	This cut would actually be better than the original... AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! This should buy me another few years of plastic surgery...

 

Near escape on stage by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
I got a letter from some guy behind the curtain.	"Quick! The tigers and lions you stole escaped and are heading for our heroin farm! The feds will be hot on our tail soon if you don't get the fuck out here!	The crowd, of course, thought this was part of the act... P.S. We're out of beer."

 

Near escape, Pt.II by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
OUTSIDE WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO NOW?? Well, we needed more beer...	Well, if you can keep your loudass mouth SHUT I'll buy you a 24-pack. But what the hell are we gonna do about the heroin and animals?	First, YOU get them back, or there will be several unpleasant holes in YOUR head. Goodbye, cruel world...

 

Near escape, Pt. III by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
VIOLENT SUICIDAL INTERMISSION	Lovely. My incompetent employee committed suicide, so I actualy have to do some work...wait, what's that?	Yes, this sucks, but it's just transitional... Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact... You wanted some help?

 

Near Escape, Pt. IV by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
Who the hell are you, and where did you come from? If I said, I would have to kill you...	Right...so...can you retrieve and/or kill some possibly stoned lions and tigers? Er...what are lions and tigers again?	Incompetence in, incompetence out Surrounded by idiots... Ermm...dammit I know this!

 

Near Escape, Pt. V by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
Sound effects up here Look, don't worry about what lions and tigers are, just kill anything inhuman you run into, 'k? Got it!	Somewhere offscreen: *Smack* No wait, not the --	Somewhere offscreen: DIE STUPID BRICKS! wall...

 

Near escape, Pt. VI by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
At a marijuana farm *yes, the wrong place* Urm...are you a lion or a tiger? Um...maybe...want a joint?	He bought a joint with wayyy too much cocaine in it. Whoa...this is...cooooooooooool...	Random house A man with a hockey mask was found dead by police near a Taco Bell. He was bleeding heavily and definitely stoned... Mommy, why is this guy naked, and why is his knife through his dick?

 

Near Escape, Pt. VI.V by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
Where am I? Hell.	Who are you? I'm the Devil, and I wanna be your beeeeeesssssssssssssssst friend!	Random Filler right now Let's play cards! I call Dealer!

 

Near escape, Pt. VI.V.I by RoboticSithDrone 3-27-05
Wait a minute. I actually am being treated well by Satan. I may have an IQ of 83, but I know that the Devil is evil. Well, usually I hate everyone, but you are a special exception.	Which is? I am your father.	Daddy! Let's get ice cream from one of the parts of Hell that froze over when the Boston Red Sox won the World Series!

 

Near Escape, Pt. VI.V.II by RoboticSithDrone 4-03-05
So let's go then! Well, there's something...	How bad can it be? You're probably right	Frozen-over hell Oh great, Dad's dead. He IS a useless oaf!

 

Near escape, Pt. VII [Finally!] by RoboticSithDrone 4-03-05
Back where we were trying to go Ok, what's that fire doing here?	What the hell do you want? Funny you should bring that up. With the recent death of Satan, you will become the new Devil in 24 hours.	So...since I'm your master, summon me a prostitute! A CLEAN ONE! Yep, he works fine as devil.

 

Near Escape, Pt. VIII by RoboticSithDrone 5-31-05
Who the fuck are you? I was selected to be the new satan.	I thought it was me. So did I. I guess RoboticSithDrone can't write to save his a-	And so ends a shit substory and the shortest reign as satan ever, all at the same time... I'm out of here... aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

Near escape, part IX by RoboticSithDrone 1-05-06
Aaaand we're back *pant pant* Must...run...from smiting powers of RoboticSithDrone	*pant pant* Could...use...a...drink...	Five beers later... Just so you know, we aren't liable for injury due to drunkenness here... *thud*

 

Near escape, part X by RoboticSithDrone 1-05-06
Cooooome backere ya fuuckin goth...	Aaah fuck...the beeeeeer I had made me doooo this...	That goth barkeeper better be running like hell... I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YA YA SONUVABITCH!

 

Near escape, part XI by RoboticSithDrone 1-05-06
I...*pant* think I *pant pant* lost him...*wheeze* damn cigarettes...	Don't ask how he got the nail and blood out... Oh...shit... You...son...of...a...bitch...	Yes, the goth bartender is on fire. I don't even know why. I WAS DEPRESSED ANYWAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! God damned goth.

 

Near escape, part XII (In amazing one-panel format!

At the place of the death of the Goth Barkeeper... Why are you so happy? They killed your brother! I get the life insurance money! AND his house. AND the bar! BOOYAH!

by RoboticSithDrone, 1-10-06

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