All comics by SilenceGoldEm

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by SilenceGoldEm
1-25-01
Thursday Afternoon, Crash City...
Oh, man... I know where this is going. Better to speed the process.
I'm sorry. I just can't be with you anymore.
Man! I know how you feel! Sucks, right? .... Just remember that it's not her... it's YOU.
Oh, man...
Without a doubt. Riight, I gotta catch this broad for lunch Downtown... or I'd stick around. Peace!
...just can't be with you anymore.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-25-01
Yeah. I rule. ... Who's the man?
Wher'd she go? ... Man!
Hey! ... You ready? We have like two minutes to catch the bus.
Where are you going?
Oh. She wants me.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-25-01
Those DORKS from Chem Lab are following me around, again. They did this all last semester, too. I want to kill them! All they do is stare at me, ..very annoying. SOMEBODY should put a stop to it.
If a psycho followed me around I'd just zap him with my ray gun, tear his flesh from his bones, and send the remains to his family. ... The poor sucker wouldn't know what hit him!! HAHA! HAHA!
So, you can, like, ... help me, right?
Rii-iiight.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-25-01
Okay, pay attention, boys. Girl asks you what you are doing this weekend.
beer. .... Maura is so hot. .... beer.
Hey Pete! How's it goin'?? I haven't seen you around campus lately. What are you doing this weekend??
You say that you aren't sure and why... or you're an idiot.
Nada. Chillin'.
... beer.
Or play to the self-esteem downward spiral and suffer inevitable Fate:
beer.
(Sigh) ... I hate weekends.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-25-01
SKREEEeeeeeeeeeech...
o/'` Oooohhhhhh this world has nothing for meeee.... Oooohhhh MIS-ERYEeeeeee.... is bitter 'till the end, my friend. etc. o/'`
Um, you guys were a great crowd, hehe..... thank you.
GET OFF THE STAGE, YOU MORON.
I don't know what to tell you, man. I thought you KILLED up there. Some people can't appreciate talent... ... Maybe if you grew a mullet??
You have got to be kidding.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
I can't believe what happened. I saw the whole thing. I was coming back from class, and BAM there's this riot...
....and they fought so dirty... I can't believe human beings are capable of such malevolence.
yeah. so many people got picked up by the cops, it was scary. it's getting worse and worse around here. ....,.... trash supremacy.
hey, now. ..... they must have forgotten one.
revenge.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
Friday afternoon, Crash City
too easy.
I can't wait! ... I can't wait!
for what, man? you look like such a pansy.
i just got off the fone with my mum. she's sending me cookies in the mail, again. Last month when she sent them somebody stole them all.
SCORE! you owe me at least 12 dozen oatmeal chocolate chip for that time i saved your ass in Nam.
oh, yeah.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
GRRrrrrr.....
...so I said to her, "Whad'ya mean 'you don't want to be my girlfriend? I thought we were just using eachother for sex.'" and she gave me the DIRTIEST LOOK. Girls are so weird. But you're cool.
Yeah. It's so refreshing to date somebody who's so honest with his feelings. It shows how much you really care about me.
Exactly. My ex-girlfriend and I used to make out under that grove of trees over there. I saw her at a party last week, she told me to call her. Except she's packed on few pounds, so... i don't know.
Tell her to give ME a call.
Where are you going?

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
So what happened when you saw the doctor, yesterday?
He gave me some new medicine. I think it has codeine in it, or something.
He has viral pneumonia, poor thing.
You're an idiot.
Why is the cieling so high?

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
Jack Kelly from Newsies...
0/`' When I dream, on my own, I'm alone but I ain't lonely. For a dreamer night's the only time of day. When the city's finally sleepin' ... all my thoughts begin to stray
...and I'm on the train that's bound for Santa Fe.
And I'm free, like the wind... like I'm gonna live forever. It's a feeling time can never take away.... 0/`' ... *gulp* Hey, Les.
Hey! Cowboy! We didn't know you were such a wuss. Awesome... I can take control of the other Newsboys, now.... ya scab!
...guess this means no more dancing in the streets of New York City at the turn of the century. Sorry, girls.
Oh no.
Catch ya on the flip side, Cowboy. Hehehe...

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
You are such a psycho. Nobody is following you, Maura. Get over yourself.
Wanna bet? Go look behind that Newsstand over there.
I'll bet you a million bucks there's no 'dork from chem class' anywhere near here.
Will you take my dad's credit card, or should i write out a check?
Sweet deal.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
Bah bum badah baahdahdah....
How can you stay so calm? We are GOING TO DIE!
I'm sorry. I missed that... What'd you say??

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
God? Are you there? It's me.
Of course I am. I've always been here. I always will.
I know I haven't been around lately, and haven't been doing all that I should. But I just wanted to get back in touch with you. See what's up. How's the kid? Job treating you well?
HAHA.
And I was also wondering if you could send me a brand new convertible with a handsome, intelligent driver... and a cute puppy in the back seat. And I bought a couple of lottery tickets, think you---
ABSOLUTELY NOT.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-26-01
So, what do you want to do?
I dunno. What do YOU want to do??

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-27-01
So, the first thing I do is just...
...ask her
It can't be so easy...

 

by SilenceGoldEm
1-29-01
What is the matter with you, Maura? You're acting all paranoid.
I am not.
Ella: hangover, much? Tiene dolor de cabeza.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
3-03-01
nature's first green is gold
no its not, man
you said so yesterday
i LIED yesterday
so... man.
nothing gold can stay

 

by SilenceGoldEm
3-04-01
she doesn't exist.
hi-YAh !!!
okay... ignore. ignore. ignore.
hyuh-Hk !!!
ig...nnore?
ready to die, punk?

 

by SilenceGoldEm
3-09-01
..the sum of the squares of two sides equals... the viscosity of water times the atomic weight of mercury divided by... (Minuet in G transposed down to Emin)....
and THEN Ginger was going on and on about how i shouldn't have shown her mother my piercing the first day I met her... and somehow tied that into the fact that i snore really loudly
modulation... theory of relativity... the proper way to raise children is... exactly why its important to get three square meals a day... the meaning of life is this... the substance of God...
at night and that she can't sleep and that's why she's been in such a bad mood at work and hasn't gotten her raise. But what the hell??? !!!! Do you think I am doing anything wrong, here???
um, yes.

 

by SilenceGoldEm
5-17-01
hehehe
bad news, eh?
BAD NEWS

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