All comics by SlayerRob

 

by SlayerRob
2-26-01
I have something to say, Rob...
What's that, Sean?
There comes a time in every man's face when the desire to eet escalates above a mere desire, and we are no longer eeters among paste. I'm going to fight for the cole slaw, that comes with face...
Uh Sean, that's nice but....
Could you please put some pants on?

 

by SlayerRob
2-26-01
Hey there Jimbo...how'd your trial go?
Not so good.
Really? Did they find you guilty?
Well, the jury rose and as the foreman began to read...
I found out I was in the middle of a high school production of "To Kill a Mockingbird" and I got kneed in the balls.
fucking idiot

 

by SlayerRob
2-26-01
Maura, theres something I gotta tell you...
What is it, sweetie?
Well, I don't know how to say this...I'm kinda uncomfortable with this sort of thing, and, well you and I have been friends for so long....
Oh, Pete...
You have a ketchup stain on your boobs and it looks kinda like an onion ring...
That's it, I'm buying me a vibrator.....

 

by SlayerRob
2-26-01
In the White House, George W. watches a news bulletin...
"In lieu of recent legislation and malevolent political tactics of late by the President..."
Oh shit....
"It has been reported that an underground group of militant young activists known as the Suburbanites...."
Oh SHIT!
"...have plotted an assassination of the head of the Executive Branch."
Whew! Close one there, haha! Man, it really sucks for whoever that is...He better leave town!

 

by SlayerRob
2-26-01
So mom, did you get me the medicine I needed to heal my crippling illness?
No I did not. You see, due to capitalism and the idea of "patents", the medicine is way too expensive for me to afford.
Oh...damn...Is there nothing you can do for me?
Well, I talked to the company who has the patent...
...and they said for 5 dollars, you could open your mouth ...and they'd pour some in...

 

by SlayerRob
2-27-01
Somewhere in Iraq...
I'm really tired of President Bush doing this to our country...
As am I...
What should we do about this?
I think it's time to unleash Plan B...
Later that month at the White House...
You know, this isn't QUITE what I had in mind....
Well next time you'll pick rock instead of paper, now, won't you?

 

by SlayerRob
2-27-01
In a Prison in sunny California...
I'm Roger
I'm Neal. What are you in here for?
Child molestation, murder one, and arson. I have the weekend in jail and 50 hours community service. You?
Being black and driving in Los Angeles after midnight...
Ouch. How long are you in for?
Well, with Bush as President and Ashcroft as Attorney General, I figured I'd just go strap myself in the chair and get it over with...

 

by SlayerRob
2-28-01
I heard once time Sean....
Miss I'd like to ask you a question.
May I ask why?
I'm just curious, that's all...
Okay, shoot...
SO, IS JAMES, AHHAHA, THOUGHT SO, BOOGERS ON THE MARCH IN DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN, BUT IF THE TELEPHONE SAYS IT'S IN THE MARINES, BE SURE TO FIND THE ANTEDOTE! AHAHAHHAHA, BROOM BRISTLES!
later...

 

by SlayerRob
2-28-01
I heard one time Sean...
AHAHHAHAAHA IF THE FIRE COMES QUICK, MAKE SURE IT'S WEARING THREE PIECES OF KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN AND A HIPPO MASK, IN ORDER TO CONFUSE ONCOMING TRAFFIC INTO VOTING FOR H. ROSS PEROT!
oh no, not again
That's it, I'mgetting out...

 

by SlayerRob
3-02-01
I heard one time Sean...
hey miss...
yea?
AHAH RANDAL, IS, THE CAPGUN MACHINE? BUT, IF THE BALL MOVES, SAY, SUNDAY EVENING, GRANDMA MOSES WILL NOT BE ABLE TO CONVEY A SENSE OF CAPITALISM ON A SOCIETY CLEARLY DEFINED BY WEIGHT LOSS TAPES!!
call the police....
AHAHAHAH wait why you have brown face ahahaha ur face com with side of mashpotato and ur choice of tos salad or PINABPPPLE.....

 

by SlayerRob
6-25-03
Guess I don't have to pay the mortgage this month
Touchee

 

by SlayerRob
6-25-03
A warm, windy day in a rundown project. The scene takes place inside a prison, where a woman is gradually losing her sanity and her will to live.
How can they keep you here? Do they think that mere BARS can hide you from me? I will not rest until you are freed from this barbaric, primitive prison cell and set free to live your life through!
As the conversation goes on, he notices the bags underneath her eyes, and the worn look of depravity on her face, the look of a woman long forsaken by life and slowly withering away.
Mere words can't describe the beauty I see underneath the years of pain and sorrow. I can save you from your life, and from these walls of torment. This is unacceptable! I will free you little bird
Unable to take the lengthy pretentious overtones of the comic, the overwrought text, and the horrific cliches spouted by the nerdy guy, the hooker self-immolates herself.

 

by SlayerRob
5-07-04
ON A LONG DAY IN THE AFTERNOON OF BUNNED.
What's wrong Sean?
I just had diarrhea
Ralph Macchio was in attendance
Omg, you forgot to wipe!
So what, I wore my tenor shoes
HARMLESS?
And I said, bake me a cake with a hacksaw in it
Haha hacksaw JIM DUGANS omg im so fag mulanax in the howse

 

by SlayerRob
7-21-04
In a faraway hideout in Vero....
Hey Sean, do you find me attractive?
Myke, don't...
What's wrong with you, Sean? I know you feel the same way I do.
You know I told you I'm not ready for a serious relationship right now....but there is one thing I feel like doing right now
Myke and Sean form a reggae band
ONE TIME, YA WATCHA ME! I know Jah won't forsake thee no I know Jah won't forsake thee no I know Jah won't forsake thee no
Eueheuehe ur penis lik banana, yelow n slides, DAYO, not myne...how u can the felch its is a mystery?

 

by SlayerRob
1-04-10
How do you know there's black people here?
Take one goddamn guess
That's racist. This crime shall not go unpunished.
What are ya gonna do jungle bunny...GET ITS JUNGLE BUNNY AHERUEEHEUEHEUE
He went to the fuck. That son of a pich.
OMG ABE VIGODA! DONK.

 

by SlayerRob
1-04-10
How do you know there's black people here?
Take one goddamn guess
That's racist. This crime shall not go unpunished.
What are ya gonna do jungle bunny...GET ITS JUNGLE BUNNY AHERUEEHEUEHEUE
He went to the fuck. That son of a pich.
OMG ABE VIGODA! DONK.

 

by SlayerRob
1-04-10
How do you know there's black people here?
Take one goddamn guess
That's racist. This crime shall not go unpunished.
What are ya gonna do jungle bunny...GET ITS JUNGLE BUNNY AHERUEEHEUEHEUE
He went to the fuck. That son of a pich.
OMG ABE VIGODA! DONK.

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