NGC-001 meets a woman by Stibbons11-22-01 Oh come on, just once? What part of "NO!" do you not understand? The part where "NO!" is really, really loud? Look, I'm not trying to be mean. It's just that I have no interest in robots. I tried it once before. You guys are so cold to the touch. But baby, I'm all man! My temperature is that of a water faucet that's turned all the way to the left. And baby, we all know that left means hot. Please, just go away.
It might have anthrax. by Stibbons11-22-01 So then I was like, "So what if I have no balls? Neither do you, and that's not stopping me from having sex with you!" Dude, hold on, I just got a letter from my girlfriend in Canada. "I hate you." What the hell is that supposed to mean?
This is the meanest thing I came up with. by Stibbons11-22-01 Bryan Poole is a bitch. Dude, I'm so cool. Like, last night I got so drunk that I almost threw up! I'm so cool! And then, I... I... well, it doesn't matter if I'm an asshole and live with my parents, I'm still cool. Now excuse me while I drive my shit car to a shithole so I can spend the last two cents I have to my name. You're so cool.
Derek is a tool. by Stibbons11-22-01 So Derek, we finally meet. Indeed we do. It's a pretty nice place you have here. Too bad you live in YOUR PARENT'S BASEMENT. Hey, shut up, I'm cool. Dude, you're pathetic. I'm better than you at Shenmue.
I hate girlfriends like this. by Stibbons11-24-01 So baby, how did you like the movie? Oh, hi Tyrone! I haven't seen you since last night! Hey Pablo, what's up? Man, I remember our last time together! Wow! Wasn't it just last week? Hey there! How's life since last weekend? They still call you "Big T" for good reason, right? You know every guy ever. Even that one-armed Mexican guy. This isn't very cool at all. Who the fuck are you?
We never forget our first time. by Stibbons3-06-02 So like, I took his shotgun, stood it straight up on the ground, and jumped right onto it, letting it go right through my ass. Oh God, dude, shut up. That's fucking sick. Oh, I remember the time I lost my virginity too. It was to a parrot. Uh... Jesus man, you don't know pleasure until you've had a parrot pecking at your anus for hours until you drop your load all over... Okay Jason, really, shut the fuck up.