All comics by TerminalVelocity

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And so, the quest begins.
OK, so we have to find the Blah Witch because it's cool.
Yeah.
Now's my chance to kill this lamer jackass.
Now's my chance to rape her and nobody will know!
Uhh... OK.
Hang on, let me get my guns.
Hang on, let me get my condoms.

 

Evil thoughts...
Heh heh heh, the little bastard doesn't suspect a thing...
Heh heh heh, the little bitch doesn't suspect a thing...
Suddenly...
HOLY ****! IT'S THE BLAH WITCH!
QUICK! GET THE CAMERA!
So much for suspense...
My god, it's hideous.
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

 

Welp, I guess that's the end.
Maybe.
Well, probably not.

 

OK, this is getting old.
Switching feed...
Great.
Help!
RARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!

 

James asks Jesus a serious question...
Jesus, what is life?
Life... that's a toughie. I'll have to think about it.
But you're God! Why think?
You defy me? BEGONE!
Poor James...
Dammit. You blew it again.
Muwahaha. Moolish fortals.

 

5 minutes later...
Hiya.
I hope you know that James had 23 more years left.
Dammit Jesus...
NOT ANYMORE! HA HA HA!
You can't do this, I'm ****ing Death!

 

Jesus, it isn't working out. Sorry.
Have you something against Jews?
No no, it's the killing everyone that gets annoying. Seriously. I'm running out of extras.
Ahh. Well, only one thing to do about that.
What the..? OH SWEET MOTHER OF FRUITCAKE! IT HURTS LIKE A... DAMMIT! OW OW OW! THE BURNING!
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!

 

THIS JUST IN...
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a serious problem on our hands. A very deadly infliction that affects millions of people worldwide.
Many of you out in the audience have seen it. If so, you know first hand the effects of reading poorly done comics such as this.
I'm going to kill you Gabe...
Please, for the sake of all that is holy, stop reading.

 

Later...
Phew. Barely got out of there alive.
Heh heh heh... got you now...
Eh?
RARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
And so, the little bastard was cornholed senseless, and TOBOR made a quick $5.
DEAR GOD NO! THE PAIN! AT LEAST USE SOME LUBE!
RARR! TOBOR NO USE LUBE!

 

After his ordeal, Gabe was sent to a mental hospital...
Hey son. What happened to you?
I was cornholed senseless.
I should have guessed.
Yup.
Damn these backfiring revenges...
Sweet Jesus...
Actually, I enjoyed it. Kinda.

 

And now, for a commercial...
You shouldn't drink that cheap-ass beer. You should drink new Skunkmaster Brew.
I LIKE my cheap-ass brew. Why switch?
Not again...
Who are you?
RARR! TOBOR CORNHOLE CHEAP-ASS BREW DRINKER!
Can we PLEASE stop with the cornholings?
See! Drink Skunkmaster Brew, and you'll be cornholed-ness-free, or something.
OW! WAIT! THAT DOESN'T GO IN THE... SWEET JESUS ON A TOOTHPICK! OW OW OW OW!

 

Heya Jesus.
Oh, it's the lazy narrator. What do you want, minion of evil?
I found you a friend.
Oooh.. Jesus likes friends...
No no, don't tell him this is a whack job... Oh screw it.
Great.
RARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU BECAUSE I WAS PAID $5!

 

Your puny brain cannot possibly contain the high amounts of cornholing taking place. All will clear in a moment.
SWEET ME ON A BICYCLE STAND! THE PAIN!
RARR! UHH... RARR!
Jesus, more screaming. It doesn't sound real... Goddamit. Can't we get some REAL special effects in here?
Uhh.. OK. OW! OW! OW! OW!
RARR! THE SCREEN IS DOWN! RARR!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to apologize for the recent outbreak of cornholings that have taken place in this comic.
This overused gimmick will cease to exist. And now, for educational films.
Son of a... This is NOT going right.
I IZ GOERGE BUZH! I IS NOT KILL BEN LADEN! KILL ME NOW!
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

 

Jesus meets young Mary.
OK my daughter, do you know what a vulva is?
Hmm...
My mommy's car!
...
Stupid kid. DIE!
Wrong answer?

 

Catch my drift?
So, let me get this straight. You want me to kill Jesus, TOBOR, Gabe, and your ex.
Right. How much?
For me to do that, or for me to give you oral sex?
Uhh... both.
$3.50.

 

This comic has become a pit of cornholing, sin, and other nasties.
So, we're going to make a musical.
Starting next strip.

 

And now, random nonsense...
Whee!
(As if you didn't have enough already)
Uh oh.
Got 'im.

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