All comics by TheMMK

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by TheMMK
3-02-01
Death's son, Dyth, was somewhat of a struggling artist type.
Greetings, son! Welcome to your new home! You're gonna fit right in, son. You got the right *look* for a strip character, know what I mean, boy? You'll be great. Any questions?
You're just going to start burning for no reason, aren't you.
He majored in Communications and, his whole life ahead of him, made the leap into comic strips.
He's still working on 'why'.
God *damn* it.

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Dyth, of course, thought he'd introduce himself around.
Hi.
Hey. Want me to make a completely sacriligious and out-of-character statement?
I'd rather you didn't.
We're still *working* on 'why'.
I could catch fire for no reason, if that'd be better.

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Okay, so actually meeting Jesus in person was a bit of a letdown. But Dyne was the sort of person to rebound quickly.
Uh, hi. Nice hat.
Thanks. What do you need, man?
Well, see, I was wondering if you could- SWEET JESUS!
What? Oh. This again.
"This again"? This happens *often*?
Oh, okay. You're that *new* guy.

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Sure, Dyne had gone 0 for 2 so far. But he wasn't going to let that get in his way.
Uh, hi. My name's Dyth. I'm the new guy.
What? Your name's Dyne, dude.
Oops.
It what?
Your name's Dyne. That's what everyone's been saying.
Uh, yeah, listen, that'd kinda be my fault. Sorry.
Hey, this kind of stuff happens, man! You'll get used to it after a while.
*Son* of a...

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Dyth had yet to really connect with anyone at his new job, *and* now people were getting his name wrong. At this point, he thought that making a friend would cheer him up a bit.
Excuse me? Hi. My name's Dyth. How are you today?
hA b1tch yu can eeT ma md SKeLs boYeE.
all yor BaS r belUg 2 us !!! it be new bom me like. mad diggity nuke shit slut whorez.
So! Wouldn't this be the point where you catch fire for no reason?
when u gon hammer nails in yor head? we g0ts a p00l g0Ing.

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Dyth's first day on the job proved to be less than spectacular.
Someone set up us the God! Heh heh heh...
...heh...
You know, there are probably other ways to go about this.
Look, I don't see *you* contributing anything.

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Dyth's second day on the job proved itself to be as big a success as his first.
So.
Uh... so.
Hey, Joe! Joe! We need material! Can we get the guy who hammers nails into his head up here?
Uh, it looks like he's busy.
Unfortunately, that's not saying much.
Well, crap. There goes *this* strip.
I loved your song "Shadows of the Night", by the way.

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Dyth believed that his mood would improve if he got to know his coworkers better.
Hey, Dyne. Whatever. How's it going, man?
It's Dyth.
If he could connect with them on a personal level, he thought, he could better appreciate his time at work.
Well, you know how it is. It's hard to come up with something the readers can get behind.
Actually, I found it to be pretty easy.
Please resist the temptation to point and laugh at his folly.
Doesn't that gimmick *hurt*, though? I don't *want* to see your trashcan trick.
Oh, severely. You should see my trashcan trick. Well, screw you too.

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
The third day at work, Dyth was slotted into the studio's fresh new video game-based strip.
C'mon, dude, hold still! We're supposed to be tanks, for God's sakes!
I've never even *played* Scorched Earth, okay? Lay off!

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
And...
Voila!
Boss, I really don't think this Dyne guy's working ou-
Don't interrupt me, damn it! I'm designing sets with the magic of fingerpaint!

 

by TheMMK
3-02-01
Dyth, it turns out, only got his job because the studio's C.E.O. was on something of a hiring spree.
You're hiring people away from Mario Paint, boss? Are you sure that's a good idea?
Boy, I am *fingerpainting*. Go *away*.
This came as something of a surprise to Dyth.
Hi, I'm here for my new job.
What, here? You don't hammer nails into your forehead, do you?
Actually, no. I hammer nails *with* my forehead.
I... never would have guessed.

 

by TheMMK
3-03-01
There you are, little girl. Now, wasn't that fun?
Wow! That was amazing! Thanks a lot, Mr. Nailable! You're my hero!
The popularity of this fad still eluded Dyth.
I'm sorry. I still cannot believe that you do that.
Hey, it keeps the fan mail coming in!
You get *fan mail*? For doing *that*?
"Dear Mr. Nailuble. You are my hero. Keep up the gud work. Your pal, Joey. P.S. Pleaze stick that Dyne guy's scyth up his ass for me."

 

by TheMMK
3-03-01
By his fourth day working for the strip, Dyth was quickly adjusting to his new job. The only problem now was getting material that didn't suck.
This is the biggest freaking pear I've ever seen in my life.

 

by TheMMK
3-04-01
I dunno, I guess I had to turn to comic strips in m'old age 'cause I never learned how to save away, y'know?
...Of course.
I tell ya', after that Little Mac punk beat me, I just couldn't draw money no more, y'know what I'm sayin'?
...Yeah.
Meeting your aging childhood idols is not always pleasant, as Dyth found out the hard way.
Y'wanna see me do my Bull Charge one more time for the memories, sonny?
I have to go now.

 

by TheMMK
3-04-01
It was on his fifth day at work that Dyth experienced a bit of memory loss.
...Aw, *hell*. Line?
Your line was... wait... yeah! Your line's "Moh".
"Moh". You don't say.
Well, I can certainly see how you could forget that.
Okay, you don't have to be *patronizing* about it.

 

by TheMMK
3-05-01
Dyth's sixth day on the job hit a snag after Jesus was seriously injured during shooting.
See, *this* is why you shouldn't have people catch fire! Is the understudy here y...
Blessed art thou, my son!
I'm going home.

 

by TheMMK
3-05-01
Once it was realized that Bald Bull was no longer a draw, the studio had to figure out some way to get him off the payroll.
Mr. Bull, I'm sorry it had t'come to this, but I've paid to have you whacked.
Y'think yer gonna get away wit' this, y'scum?
The studio, of course, chose the popular "Murder by Killer Headbutt" option.
Ow.
That one was for Glass Joe, *bitch*.

 

by TheMMK
6-21-03
Okay, granted, first off there's the existential question of this to ponder. Am I, indeed, truly my username? When one calls themself something, does that truly define them?
As you can see, this is a weighty enough question that I have to ponder it next to the ocean, samurai-style.
Anyway, if I am to appear here, it may as well be in tangible phone form. It may not make too much sense, but the "people" sprites here are, well, ugly, yo.

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