All comics by Tyler_Massey

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by Tyler_Massey
5-22-01
The W. gets desparate...
Are there any good potential oil fields around here? I need to get these gas prices down, before the people lose all faith in me...
What do you mean, "before"?
On to Alaska.
Hey partner, know any cool places to drill for oil?
Caw! I'll peck your fucking eyes out!
And Area 51.
This looks like a good spot to drill...
Go ahead. Just don't say anything about the 'locals'.

 

by Tyler_Massey
5-22-01
Answered Prayers
Why do you let bad things happen?
Am I not allowed to go to Aruba every once in a while for some 'Me' time?
Is Grandma up in Heaven with you?
I'm not sure. Send me an email on that and I'll get back to within 3 business days.
Do you ever meddle in Earthly politics?
I don't have *that* sick of a sense of humor.

 

by Tyler_Massey
5-22-01
A putrid smell envelops the comic world...
Phew! Who farted?
I think it was him. Just look at the guilty expression on his face...
Damn those chalupas. I should sue those bastards at Taco Bell.
d00d! That is such a turn-off. I am going to take my roughly drawn breasts elsewhere.
Dammit! It even reeks like ass in this panel...
I didn't know you had a sense of smell. You're just trying to fit in, aren't you?

 

by Tyler_Massey
5-22-01
What the fuck happened to your neck? Are you deformed?
People are so insensitive...
Why did they color us green? These webmasters are so racist...
Honky motherfuckers! We're yellow!! Fix it!
Pretending that I'm black is so much easier with this makeup on.
You're not fooling anyone, you know.

 

by Tyler_Massey
5-22-01
Welcome back to our very special KKK Beastiality Incest Teenage Boot Camp episode here on Jerry Springer!
I can't believe this dickweed was mayor of Cinncinati...
"So, Clem.... Why did you marry your sister's diseased teenage housecat?"
I need to ask Dad if we have any disasters lined up for the Midwest. I think this show tapes in Chicago...
"Well, Jerry, she was in heat, and I was all alone there at the trailer park because it was the first of the month..."
I can't watch anymore. I wonder if my stupid maid ever found that remote....

 

by Tyler_Massey
5-24-01
FW:FW:FW: Please, I need your help! My wife died, my truck got stolen, my kids ran away, I got fired, I'm HIV positive, and I have a gerbil lodged in my ass. Please forward this mess...
For fuck's sake...
Attention: Be sure that you attach the XVK88995544 excel document to the noon page. Comply immediately or we will attach a car battery to your gonads. Thanks.
Sweet Jeebus, I hate this place...
Hi, honey. Be sure and remember to talk to HR today about your 401 (K). Also, stop by Kroger and get some milk...
I think I'll go do some work to avoid reading my e-mail...

 

by Tyler_Massey
5-28-01
Beatrice asks hard questions.
Is it true that you never forget?
Yup.
Really hard questions.
Do you remember when that huge asteroid struck the earth, creating the Gulf of Mexico and ending the age of the dinosaurs?
I'm not *THAT* old, for Christ's sake... You little brat! Besides, I am a land mammal, not a dinosaur!
Beatrice decides to try another subject.
So, do you remember the show "Cop Rock"?
SQUAWK!

 

by Tyler_Massey
5-28-01
Open mic in the park
Ahem...how's everybody doin' tonight?
What do you call 5000 dead chipmunks at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

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