All comics by Vulf

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by Vulf
8-03-03
Is this real?
Real?
Where is...
...my friend?
I, I want to go home..

 

by Vulf
8-03-03
Is it still pointless?
Am I still powerless to change anything?
Will it hurt to try? Will it hurt others if I try?

 

by Vulf
8-16-03
His search had led him far. The time he spent on this path was mind numbing.
Now after he had lost so much, perhaps now fate would grant him his only desire.
Fate is a cruel mistress.

 

by Vulf
8-16-03
My brain feels like it's on fire!
What the Hell was I doing last night...
Oh, that's right...
Yeah! Do it man!
Heh heh, this is so cool!

 

by Vulf
8-17-03
Hello citizen, we've been getting some complaints about strange sounds at night, and we're checking with people who live in the area.
Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (snort) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Is that so? Well, thank you for your time.
I tend to sleep pretty heavily officer, I'm afraid I wouldn't have heard any noises . . . . . . . . . . . .
Something stank about this setup, but he didn't want to upset Henry.
Do they suspect anything?
I think we're safe... (for now)

 

by Vulf
8-17-03
Oooh brudda... wat da hell..... neva 'gin... neva a'gin...
Ooooh....... ma' friggin' skull....
I feel liek teh shiz-nits...
What the hell were we doing last night?
Oh... That's right...

 

by Vulf
8-18-03
What is it?
It seems we've won a contest, we're to pick up our prize at an unspecified address.
Well then we better start driving around until we find it.
I guess that makes some kind of sense...
No stones unturned boys, no stones unturned.
Got it, stones...

 

by Vulf
8-18-03
Is this...?
Yeah, this looks like the place.
How can you tell?
Because it says "Live Nude Girls" in neon pink.
And it looks like there's no cover charge too.
Irrelevant. We'll be breaking in through the back.

 

by Vulf
8-18-03
Ok, we're in. Where's my prize?
I suppose OUR prize is lying around here somewhere.
Is this it?
That's a dead stripper.
Works for me, let's go.
... I'm taking these paint cans too.

 

by Vulf
8-18-03
Finally home and....! Hey what the hell?! All my rocks are turned!
Well 'ya win some, 'ya lose some.
...
I think the stripper's corpse will look good in this corner, next to the Leaning Tower of Hustler Magazines.
I'm going to build a paint-can fort.

 

by Vulf
8-19-03
Several days later...
What brings you to my room?
I've been meaning to talk to you. About your dead stripper. The one in the living room.
Is this about the smell? She's started to smell a little, huh?
It's beyond started. The foul stench of death has permeated through every fiber of our home. I would like you to get rid of her.
But I use her all the time!
I've noticed... That's part of the problem.

 

by Vulf
8-19-03
What's all that noise about?
It's the cops. They're at the door.
Do you have any idea why they would be here?
Maybe it's your penchant for beating up the handicapped. Or your license plate "collection." Or maybe it's the dead stripper.
I told you, I took care of that.
The front lawn doesn't count.

 

by Vulf
8-19-03
It was nice of them to put us in the same cell.
Do you think so? 'Cuz I don't.
They really laid into you when I told them you had a gun.
Remind me to thank you for that... What's that smell?
During the commotion, I managed to get one more use out of the stripper.
That probably won't help us during the trial.

 

by Vulf
8-19-03
I managed to fashion a hammer and chisel out of a bar of soap I got from another prisoner.
Great. Now get me the hell out of here.
Later...
The hammer and chisel broke...
Use your finger nails.
Later still...
Sweet horrible freedom!
Let's find a Denny's.

 

by Vulf
8-19-03
Glad I found another hammer...
We can lie low in that cave up ahead.
Say... remember back in prison... you said you got soap from another prisoner. That sure was nice of him...
Uhhhhhhhh..... yeah, nice....
How'd you get the soap, Brendon.
... He knows my name... I guess I'll have to kill him now.

 

by Vulf
8-22-03
How did you know my name?
It was written on your underwear. But forget about that, we need to find some way to clear our names.
Well, since you admitted to killing the stripper we found... short of a presidential pardon, I think we're fucked.
You just leave that to me.
Great work. We killed the president.
You just leave that to me.

 

by Vulf
8-22-03
Well, I guess we'd better lay low for a while...
I don't think there is any place we could possibly hide.
SHAZZAM! No one would think of looking for us here, at our own home!
The police tape is a nice touch.
I'll go get back the tupperware we lent to the neighbors.

 

by Vulf
8-22-03
Well, I have some good news. Apparently the authorities have found the party responsible for the President's assassination.
How is that good news? We're fucked!
The government is blaming it on Muslims in Southern California, as a means to further their political agenda.
Well, at least nobody was hurt.
Allright, darkie! You won't be passing on our security secrets to Al-Queida any more!
I work at Taco Bell.

 

by Vulf
8-22-03
Whatcha doin'? Let's go to a strip club!
I'm reorganizing my rocks. As long as my rocks are out of order, I can't go anywhere!
Oh look! Your rocks just flew out the window.
You just shattered the last intact piece of glass we own, but I can't argue with logic.
Good! I know a great place to find dead strippers.
Yeah, I'm starting to miss our old one.

 

by Vulf
8-22-03
Hey kids! Stay off the drugs! Drugs are bad! They'll ruin your life!
They can't be that bad...
AT HIS HOUSE IN R'lyeh... DREAT CThulhU EAtS PUdDInG!! I TolD YA I'd SHOOt, BUT YA WOULDn't BElIEVE ME! WHY wouldn'T ya BELIEVE ME!?!?
HAH HAH HAH!!! DANCE FOR ME MY BEAUTIFUL PUPPETS! DANCE WITH THE CASTANETS! LOVELY PUDDING!! GO JOE! THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! IT IS THE END AND THE BEGINNING! THE ALPHA AND OPTIMUS!!
I CAN SEE!!! I CAN FINALLY SEEE !! !! IT stretches on for an INFINITY!! I CAN SEEE!! A ll this TIME I neVer kn ew! SO bluE!!!
Stay off the drugs kids...

 

by Vulf
8-23-03
Watcha reading?
My fotune cookie fortune from last night. It was a bit more protracted than usual.
Well, what does it say?
It claims the way to Nirvana is an arduous path, but not necessarily a long one.
Next stop: Nirvana.
As long as we don't get arrested this time.

 

by Vulf
8-23-03
For the first time in my life, I feel right. It's as if I'm finally trying to regain something I lost a long time ago.
Nirvana - did I have it once before? Was it a dream, or was it another life?
This presence, it feels... familiar.

 

by Vulf
10-12-03
You should ask that chick out. She likes you.
I've told you, I don't like fat chicks.
Look, in all the years I've known you...
... ?
Wait a minute... Who the fuck are you?
Uh oh.

 

by Vulf
10-12-03
So you're saying the meaning of life, the eternal secret... is the search?
Yes, through journey and trial we change and evolve. Deep, huh?
No, it's stupid.
Even now you fail to understand.
Oh I understand it alright. You hide in this cave waiting to pile bullshit on anyone who gives you attention.
You're just lashing out. I understand.

 

by Vulf
10-12-03
I see that pile of existential literature in the corner, that book on Sarte's(sic) life next to the nachos. Walden by the crapper.
ehh...
You consider yourself "enlightened" because you've ostracize yourself from society, in a juvenile attempt to escape criticism and from being forced to deal with the real world.
eh..
The fact is, you are an abject coward with not an original thought in your head.
You are the weakest link.

 

by Vulf
11-22-04
So, you went on a journey of enlightenment. Did you find what you were looking for?
I found a wise old hermit. But now he's dead.
And he managed to share his great wisdom before succumbing to the ravages of old age?
No, I beat him to death.
If you think about, an alley is basically a discount morgue.
That's what I'm always saying!

 

by Vulf
11-22-04
Why do hotdog buns come in packages of eight and hotdogs come in packages of ten?
Hang on, I'l go ask God.
Somewhere at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean:
Why do hotdog buns come in packages of eight and hotdogs come in packages of ten?
What? Did you wake me up? What time is it? Are the stars right? Is the... how did they.., who is.., WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
I guess God does'nt have all the answers.
Religion is poison.

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