All comics by Wraith

Profile

 

by Wraith
7-13-01
Death and Matt get in a pissing contest over who fate hates more
I am the arbitrator of mans demise! I am cursed to watch the end of all dreams, to bring pain to the innocent, to witness the end of all things!
mmm-hmm. mmm-hmmm. k. let me tell you about my lovelife.
90 minutes later....
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! YOU WIN! geeze, sucks to be you!
Damn right I win!
Should I be happy about this?

 

by Wraith
7-13-01
HEY! It's that bastard crawford!
Wraith, just say to yourself "What would Jesus do?"
And then, this lightning bolt came out of nowhere and struck me down!
Think harder, Wraith!

 

by Wraith
7-13-01
I've come to a conclusion. Women love cretins.
Well, yea, that sounds about right. So what?
So, I've made a decision. To find true love, I shall BECOME a cretin.
I dunno....
And so it begins....
There's no question. I'M OFF!
nothing good can come from this....

 

by Wraith
7-13-01
:::sigh::: Lo, though the lights are blue, they can't match the blueness of my heavily burdened soul
Oh, you dark, brooding boi, I feel your pain. Maybe we should go back to my place and you know...TALK about it...
I'm sorry, words can't BEGIN to do justice to my inner turmoil
Well, we don't HAVE to talk....
to be continued....
uh-oh, NOW what?
His silence is so intense, oooh!

 

by Wraith
7-13-01
Wraiths social experiment to prove that women love cretins continues...
All right, now I've got her interest, time to act like a sleaze...
Common, sexy, dance with me...
Sure, baby, maybe you CAN cheer me up. Just :::mumble, mutter, obscene observation:::
.....
to be continued...
Hey, she actually looks upset! Could I have been wrong, or....
TAKE ME NOW!

 

by Wraith
7-13-01
Wraiths experiment marches on...
Allright, I've proved my point. Now to break it off by being a total creep. This way, her anger will make getting over it easier...
Whattya say we head over to the back room and get more....aquainted?
psh. whatever. Like I'd want anything to do with a little GIRL like you...
Oh, you think so? Let me SHOW you how much of a WOMAN I am!
to be continued...
SWEET GOD, WHY IS THIS WORKING?
oooh, his intense, brooding anger, he's sooo hot!

 

by Wraith
7-13-01
In conclusion....
So, then what happened?
My resistance broke down. I smiled at her, told her she was pretty, and started talking to her like a human being.
At which point, she dropped you like a heavy rock.
eeeyup.
Man, you should have seen THAT coming!
I know, I'm sooo ashamed.

 

by Wraith
7-19-01
Lets see, new email...oh. oh, my God, my friend Dave is dead...and they want me to go to Ohio for the funeral weekend!
OOOOH GOD! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! *SOB* I HAVE TO *SOB* GO BACK TO *SOB* OHIOOOO! *SOB*
I know, Wraith, I know. It's hard to lose a friend. Don't worry, I'll come with you for support.
And with that, the gourney begins...
what? Oh yea, I completely forgot about the whole "death of my dear, dear friend" thing!

 

by Wraith
7-19-01
Wraith and Gabe visit Ohio for the funeral of Wraiths friend...
Now, Gabe, I should warn you. People here are a bit...different. It's like a timewarp. Everything popular, funny, or generally visable will be from like, ancient times.
Come on, I'm sure it's not that bad.
Look, I'm serious. Just watch yourself. We're not in Richmond anymore. I gotta go visit my friends family.
Whatever....
to be continued....
Heya stranger! All your base are belong to us!
AAAAAHHHHH!

 

by Wraith
7-19-01
Gabe is in Ohio, offering Wraith support during his friends funeral...
Well, the squirrels seem as intelligent here as they do anywhere else. I don't know WHY Wraith didn't hang out with you guys when he lived here.
Oh, he used to, but then he got tired of being shot at by all the damn hunters.
Hunters? Squirrel hunters? Oh, come on. You mean to tell me people hunt SQUIREL around here? I mean, enough to put humans who hang out with squirels endanger?
The boy has much to learn of Ohio.
DUN DUN DUUUN! To be continued!
GAAAABE!
BLAM! BLAM!

 

by Wraith
7-19-01
Is this the end of Gabe? Our story continues...
OH MY GOD! GABE! He's been shot by squirrel hunters!
Wait, why is he so small all of a sudden? And what happened to his trademark orange undershirt?
Look, this is the only pic they had of me that looks remotely like I'm dead, and the guy who writes this has no artistic talent! Now quit breaking the fourth wall...
next: Gabe in HELL!
Hey, you're talking! YOUR ALIVE!
NO I'M NOT! I'M THOROUGHLY DEAD! Now shut up and move on to the next strip....

 

by Wraith
7-19-01
Gabe has been killed by squirrel hunters...
What the? I'm in Hell? Why did I go to Hell?
Well, lets pull up your file and find out, shall we?
Lets see...there's the standard stuff, lying, swearing, then there's your refusal to accept God (I was worried for a while there, you started to believe when you first got your Dreamcast), and...
to be continued...
What the? YOU CHOSE QUAKE 3 OVER UNREAL TOURNAMENT?! NO PUNISHMENT IS ENOUGH FOR YOU!
Damn, even if I get out of this, I owe Tyco 5 bucks!

 

by Wraith
7-19-01
Gabe is in Hell
Well, Gabe, lets see, what eternal tourment shall we put you through...wait, this says you spent the weekend in...OHIO? yipes! I don't have anything down here to compete with that!
Grrrr, alright, lets just call it time served and send you back before your corpse starts to rot.
Crap. I gotta go back to Ohio?
to be concluded...
Before I go, Wraith would kill me if I didn't ask. Krawford is one of yours, right?
Krawford? No way! I mean, I may be the embodiment of all evil, but I woudn't releash something like THAT on the world! What kind of monster do you think I am?!

 

by Wraith
7-19-01
At last, our heroes return from Ohio...
So, Gabe, what'd you think of Ohio?
Well, lets just say I'm beginning to understand why you're so screwed up.
Yea. And I lived there for FOUR FREAKIN YEARS!
Damn, I never thought I'd say this, but all things considered, you're pretty well-adjusted!
The end.
That's what I've been saying all this time! I'm the picture of mental health. Welp, I'm gonna go see if I can set my arm hair on fire...
Have fun, buddy!

 

by Wraith
2-13-02
Supid rasaphrasin Valentines day. "oooh, look at meee, I've got someone who gives a flip about me! I think I'm so speeeecial!". Losers.
I swear to God, days like this make me wish I was never born.
That can be aranged, you know. My name's Clearance. I'm an Angel. I can show you a world in which you were never born.
What the... You're supposed to be an angel? Wheres the wings? The Halo? You look like a batender, for cryin out loud!
Don't get it? This is me: http://www.geocities.com/wraithtdk/index.htm
Oh, says the "Wraith" with the pale skin and white shirt.
...point.

 

by Wraith
2-13-02
So, you want to see a world in wich you were never born. That can be easily arranged.
Well, you know, I never ACTUALLY said that...
Shut up. Just watch. This T.V. will show you a world in which you were never born. I think you'll apreciate your life after that.
to be continued...
It's time to make the rounds, with College cutties, and the girls next door! You won't BELIEVE what these girls did...
DAMN IT! Even my angelic visions are poluted with that stupid commercial!

 

by Wraith
2-13-02
The angel "Clearance" has give Wraith a T.V. that shows a world in which he was never born...
I'm so glad we live in a utopian society. Yes, it's great having no war, disease, or poverty. Nothing EVER goes wrong here!
HEY!
Welll...THAT'S never happened before...
...
to be continued...
Gotta go!
SON OF A...

 

by Wraith
2-13-02
The angel "Clearance" has give Wraith a T.V. that shows a world in which he was never born....
Geeze, I knew life sucked, especially around this time of year, but can I REALLY be the cause of everything bad in the world?
I'm glad you're happy with your perfect life, Krawford. We all love you soooo much.
:::GASP::: CLEARANCE! TAKE ME BACK, CLEARANCE! TAKE ME BACK!
to be continued...
Soooo, let me get this straight, you want me to undo a perfect, Utopian society, just to spite this "Krawford" guy?
DUDE! What part of "take me back" don't you understand?

 

by Wraith
2-13-02
Wraith has been shown a world in which he was never born...
I'm back! I'M BACK! Happy Valentines day movie house!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, SAVINGS AND LOAN!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, DINER!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, YOU WONDERFUL PREMIER VIDEO!
Think he finnally got some?
Either that, or he found a way to spite Krawford.

 

by Wraith
3-07-02
Mr. Wraith, I've from the State of Virginia government. We've been looking at your track record. Sir, are you aware of our state motto, "Virginia is for lovers"?
Well, yea, but that's just a slogan, right? I mean, it 's not like an actual law or anything, right?
...
Right? ... Sir?
To be continued...
Stupid rasaphrasan "happy people" and their "emotional functionality".

 

by Wraith
3-10-02
Wraith has been kicked out of Virginia...
Welcome to New York, Wraith. I think you'll like this apartment. It's got three rooms and easy access to great shopping.
I see. And ummm...whats this over here?
What, this? Oh, that's a swirling vortex of pure evil emanating from the wall. Strange, that usually only happens at night...
I..see... But, I get free utilities, right?
To be continued
Absolutely.
I'll take it!

 

by Wraith
3-19-02
Matthew has moved into a haunted NY appartment.
RAA! I am Vlarn, the unstopable! You have invaded my domain! I will feast on your soul!
Great. Well, "Vlarn", if you're gonna live here, you're gonna have to pony up half the rent. No freeloaders..
Foolish mortal! You fail to understand! I am evil lord of the dark dimension! I shall rip the flesh from your bones and sup on their marrow!
Uh-huh. Ultimate evil, eat my soul, sup my marrow. Whatever. I gotta go look for work.
To be continued...
... He hurt my feelings.

 

by Wraith
3-26-02
Wraith has moved into a haunted NY apartment.
I am SKULLTOR! Weaver of nightmares! I will invade your mind and make your darkest fears manifest!
You're gonna invade my mind? Yyyyea, ummmm, I wouldn't go up there if I were you. It's uh, it's kind of a mess.
BLAH! Silence, mortal! Prepare to face the darkest recesses of your soul!
Alllll riiight.
To be continued...
What the...what...WOA! You are one sick puppy, Wraith! I mean, for God's sake, you're only 23! How can you even HAVE Vietnam flashbacks?
Heh, yea. I'm funny like that.

 

by Wraith
4-01-02
Wraith has moved into a haunted NY apartment.
Wraith? I'm General Grog. We gotta talk. You made Vlarn the unstoppable cry. Skulltor, master of fear is still having nightmares from what he saw in your head...
And I don't know WHAT you did to mothar, the possessor of souls, but he's been huddled in a fetal position for the past WEEK, chanting "Cold...so....cold"!
heh. wuss.
To be concluded...
Bottom line is this: me and the other demons...well, you creep us out. Now, VA is close enough to capital hill in D.C. that the forces of evil have some influence. They'll take you back.
Sooooo, I win, because I'm more disturbing then your dark den of ultimate evil. Eh. Works for me.

 

by Wraith
4-09-02
So, let me see if I got all of this. First, your love life is so pathetic that you got kicked out Virginia.
Right.
Then, your mind was found to be so crazed, disturbed, and generally messed-up that it stopped a demonic invasion, and got you back INTO Va.
Pretty much, yea.
The End
Cripes, man, you're like Spiderman! Only you know, with crazy-ness instead of webbing.
Welp, you know what they say, "With great dementia, must come great responsibility".

 

by Wraith
4-09-02
Hey all! My name is Magnus Krawford. My first name was changed to keep Wraith from getting sued, but I digress.
You may have noticed that Wraith mis-labeled part 6 of this story part 7. To rectify this, THIS is part 6, where I'm gonna get my ass kicked by Vlarn The Unstoppable.
My pleasure. Anything for the fans. Shall we?
Krawford: AAAAH! NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE!
Explain to me again how this makes things up to the READERS?
Don't know. Don't care. Krawford is hurt. Wraith is happy.

 

by Wraith
7-23-03
Psh. Loose weight overnight. whatever.
"Penis pills" who BUYS this crap?!
To be continued next week...
DUDE! A princess needs MY help to transfer $1,000,000 to an American account! I'M GONNA BE RICH!

 

by Wraith
7-28-03
Wraith has submitted his bank info to a Nigerian e-mail scam.
Excellent! The foolish American took the bait! Now to empty his account!
What the...what...AAAAH! MY ACCOUNT! IT'S EMPTY! I HAD HALF A MILLION IN THAT ACCOUNT!
To be continued...
Thanks l33t Steve.
No problem. We're even on that five bucks I owed you now, right?

 

by Wraith
8-22-03
Dude, there's all these dead bodies in your yard. Did you kill a foreign death squad again?
heh. Yea. That was fun.
Cripes, who'd you piss of THIS time?
I dunno, I think it was those Nigerian dudes that I took all that money from.
To be concluded...
Do I even want to know?
Probably not. But hey, three more deathsquads and I get a free Super Big Gulp at 7-11! w00t!

 

by Wraith
8-22-03
So, what are you going to do with the half a Mil you took those Nigerian scam artists for?
ummm...mutter mutter grumble
What?
Ebay
The End
Oh, my God, Wraith, PLEASE tell me you didn't go on an "E-Bender" again and spend HALF A MILLION DOLLARS on useless 80's crap from Ebay!
Dude, three words: Vintage Lazer Tag. I'm just sayin.

Showing page 1.