All comics by greedoshotfirst

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by greedoshotfirst
3-02-02
What in the name of holy fuck happened here?
Jesus returned to the earth.
No shit? So what's with the paramedics?
Funny you should ask...
...it seemed Jesus was out for blood.
Do you believe in the son of God now, Rabbi?
Oh, sweet irony.

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-02-02
Wassup JC?
Man, ain't this some muthafuckin' shit?!
Uh... what?
Deez simalac drinkin' punk uncle tom's be all up in my kool aid like dey be my ace boon coons. Fuck dem sun dried tomato eatin' mufuckas. Sheeit. Na'mean?
... christ.
Play on playa. Ass n' titties.

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-02-02
Well, it seems like we made a mistake. You can go about your daily life. I'll see you again in five years.
You're kidding? No...? What the fuck. I've been waiting to die since i was a youngin goddammit!!
And what would you like me to do about that, sir?
Well how 'bout you start with an apology, you sumbitch?!
How's about you suck the apology out of my dick?

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-02-02
Dude you smell like Rosie O'Donnell's queef juice. What in the fuck have you been doing?
Well, you see, I took your moms and went drilling for oil in her backyard bunyon but her shit exploded when I torpedoed her brown eye. Sick.
All Hiroshima-Nagasaki like.
Fuck you and your half a faggot dad.
Bomb.

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-02-02
So, like, Mr. Jesus... Sir. umm.. Where's heaven? Is it between Aria Giovanni's thighs? That's what my father says. But... I don't know
I'm not Jesus, little girl. I'm Rabbi Scheinerman. Now, help me down for the love of Seinfeld. I'm in so much pain, this is not kosher...
Oh, well. Fuck you then.
....fuck me.
Ha. Cute kid, huh, Rabbi?
Oh, sweet irony.

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-02-02
What's happenin' my nigga? You got worry's playa? Let Jesus show you the light and all that biblical jive shit.
Well, I need to find peice of mind.
I hear ya, playa. Now, dig this, my black ass been through it all, playa. Straight mackin with the pimp flava for the bootsy swinger's ya dig? All these playa hatin' dick-bitches up on tha Ave. Sheit.
Riiiight. So can you help me out, JC?
Fo' sho, playa. I'll give yo ass the honor of findin the meanin of all this shit up in here. You ready... Ass n' titties, playa. Ass n' titties.
...christ.

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-04-02
...American troops are getting asses made out of themselves yet again tonight as they follow gee dubyah's orders to blow up more sand niggers...
..And now we go to our on the scene correspondant James Van Der Beek. Dawson tell us what's going on...
...Well, we sure are looking fucking retarded as ever. The whole world's gone to shit, man. We need a hero over here. Like Jesse the Body or some shit. I'm going back to the Creek. Fuck this shit.
Fuckin' commie.

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-04-02
I was watching the X-Files last night, right. And this dude, like, totally spontaneously cumbusted and shit. It was heavy.
About as heavy as my sac resting ever so gently on your eyeballs you dumb fucking phleeb. Get the fuck on before you get stepped on. You fuckin shitweasel.
...shit.
Yo, bro. What the fuck did I just step in?

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-04-02
While strollin round the hood, Aaron comes across a little chicano girl...
Bro, you're like a straight up midget. So, how do you reach around to wipe your ass? Or do you just run through tall fields of grass really fast?
Her vertically challenged ass runs hella fast. Ha. Get to steppin pig knuckle!!! Bats and gats MuhFUCKA!
Continuing his stroll, he runs into Kurt.
"...no barkin' from the dog, no smog, and momma cooked the breakfast with no hog."
Today was a good day.

 

by greedoshotfirst
3-04-02
How's it hangin' my man? It looks like ya could use yo'self some fine feline, if ya know what i'm sayin, playa... Sheeit. I gots what ya need, negro.
Are you for real? Jesus Christ...
What up, nigga? Don't be usin my gov'ment name on these here streets. Are you out yo goddamn mind? Sheeit.
Oh. Right. Sorry. Look, I've come to resign. I've had enough of this shit. People huff madd dong. They're lucky they can only die once. I'm thru. Done. Finito. I'm handing in my Scythe. Peace out.
Ass n' titties, playa. Don't prep the role, cornbread. All these indigo cats from round the way don't know the deal when it comes to da benji's, broham. Nah'mean? Sheeit. Fuck dat Nino Brown muhfucka!
What the fuck...?!

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