All comics by jimstringtown

Profile

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Sorry.
's no biggie.
Akirajim! You're back!
Yeah. Reincarnation sucks.
Your Mom says we need to try the abortion again.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Why, hello, Triple DexX. Where's Sandy?
Huh?
Your nine-months-pregnant wife.
Oh. At the clinic.
You know, kid, you somehow remind me of our son.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Hello, Jim. Your father, DexX, has hired me to teach you-
Murderball?
No, not fucking Murderball.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
You're going to teach me magic? Sweet!
So, how'd you wind up a cripple, Harry Potter?
A cripple?
No, dude. I'm just lazy.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Jim, I'm having Harry teach you magic for one reason alone:
So I can help you fight crime?
No, no. So you can help me smoke blunts, peddle smack, smack whores, peddle children, and sate my lust upon the homeless.
Okay, this is one of those times you're going to have to wink if you're joking.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
We got your call, what's the trouble in here?
Your use of a comma instead of a semicolon.
Huh?
Never mind. I called because I found this baby floating in the toilet.
No need to worry, sir. That's only a fetus.
What a relief it's not a baby!

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Triple DexX, sir, I'm so sorry! I was baked on acid, and I-
I put your infant son in the oven!
How long ago?
Ah, I think "Rugrats" was on. I kinda fell asleep.
Good God, man, that was four in the afternoon! By now, he'll be too burnt to serve.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Rodgers, old boy, I've finally built that time machine.
It's about TIME. Get it, Ockie? Anyway, what do you call this contraption of yours?
The "Hammerstein Palais."
Shit, man! No! Wrong name! Now how are we going to lead into the last panel? You'd better correct yourself before we-
The Hammersmith Palais can kiss my arse in the future!

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Stevenopolis! Get in here!
Yes, sir?
Stevenopolis, our arch enemy has returned to Earth. You'd better call home, son.
Whoa! You mean LDS Corps is under attack, and death is imminent for us all?
No, no. I just wanted your wife to make me a sandwich.
Well, shit. I already looted your office and raped your secretary.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Avast ye, shit eater. Long Dong Silver says ye canst not pass without-
Fellating you, right?
Seriously, man. You've been here since this morning. Give it a rest.
Are you hungry? I can have my wife make you a sandwich.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Greetings, fuckstick. I have returned to command you. You may proceed to slob my knob.
It's bad, Boss.
Your brother, Jim, has returned from the dead. Now, he's learning magic. It won't be long before he comes after you.
Beth, reschedule my gangbang for one o' clock.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
'sup, Goss? How's your sister?
Still a fireman.
's cool. 's cool. What inspired her to that occupation?
I think it was all her polesmoking.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Father-
Quiet, you goodman boy! I am presently engaged in watching "Everyone Loves Raymond."
This is not "Everyone Loves Raymond."
Unless Raymond's brother is now a Brazilian woman with a nine-inch penis.
Shut up and fetch me the spankerchief.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
O, powerful Shit Goblin. I, the magnificent Long Dong Silver, summon you to my aid.
I told you, man, I am not a "Shit Goblin."
I am your God, now, foul Incubus.
So, do you want me to impregnate a human female, or what?
Huh? No.
What, then? I can't very well impregnate YOU.

 

by jimstringtown
11-16-05
Clango, old pal, you work for this asshole, right?
Yeah.
Well, what does he want me to do?
I find it works best to work the shaft and cup the balls, and then to "accidentally" sneak a finger into his pee-hole.

 

Long Dong chats online with his #1 shareholder: Master D. W. Bater.
is thsi hwo i ues compture ???
No.
by jimstringtown, 11-16-05

 

by jimstringtown
11-19-05
Oh, shit, an assassin! I'd better use my family-friendly, Harry Potter magic to defend myself.
Please stop talking.
Force push-ius!
Into bear pit-ius!

 

by jimstringtown
11-20-05
She knows! Your brother is a scoundrel, Alexei Fyodorovich!

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