All comics by mrlogic

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by mrlogic
1-11-03
have you ever wondered what we'd eat if bananas didn't exist?
nope

 

by mrlogic
1-14-03
Pigs use their brains to outwit each other in much the same way as humans and chimpanzees, scientists claim.
Although pigs often fight aggressively, researchers found they also adopt more subtle ploys to keep in front of rivals.
Dr Mike Mendl and colleagues at the University of Bristol observed social competitive behaviour among pigs of a kind normally seen in apes.
Oink?

 

by mrlogic
1-14-03
?
I should've been framed.

 

by mrlogic
1-28-03
We're lucky, aren't we.
How do you mean?
Well, it's a question of relative happiness.
What, like we don't have to worry about warring governments, rogue states, terrorist threats, economic sanctions, the stock market crashing, or being molested by celebrities?
I think you're reading a little too much into my previous statement. I just meant we're lucky we like bananas and we happen to live in a place where bananas grow in abundance.
I see.

 

by mrlogic
1-28-03
Ever since a young carpenter put his mysteriously pregnant wife on the back of a donkey and headed off to Bethlehem, a regular and accurate census has been regarded as a vital administrative tool.
But when the Office of National Statistics unveiled the results of its 2001 survey, it proved that miracles can still happen.
Somehow, 63,000 people had disappeared from Westminster council - a fall of around 25%. And smaller, but none the less significant, disappearing acts had taken place across the country.
Er, I think they're behind those bushes.

 

by mrlogic
1-28-03
20 Million miles from earth...
We're the first terrestrial creatures to travel to Mars, isn't that great?
How come we got chosen and not those two baboons with IQs of 240 each?
Because the writer couldn't find a picture of two baboons of course.
I'm just glad he gave us bananas.

 

by mrlogic
1-31-03
Well, here we are. I wonder what we're supposed to do now.
Why don't you have a look in the mission manual?
Er.. I think I used it to mop up that milkshake that was spilled during takeoff.
So what are we going to do then?
Guess we could eat bananas?
Yeah, but this is the last one.

 

by mrlogic
1-31-03
What do you mean? That can't be the last banana, we had about ten million on board the shuttle.
I know, I know, but they were all lost in a highly amusing and exciting caper that took place outside the bounds of this comic realm.
So that's truly the last banana we have. What are you going to do with it?
I thought I'd preserve it in formaldehyde and leave it here in the hopes that future generations of monkeys could come here and contemplate it.
Really?
No.

 

by mrlogic
2-07-03
look, up in the sky, is it a bird? is it a plane?
nope. it's a thermonuclear device aimed straight at the city behind us. Do you think we should duck?
good idea.
i thought so.
phew, that was lucky.
yeah, I nearly dropped my banana.

 

by mrlogic
2-07-03
I've noticed a lot of comics are using the phrase "My anus is bleeding". Why do you think this is?
I think it's because most of the writers of those comics are immature and find it funny. Mind you, I find it funny, even though I'm not immature.
i see.
i'm glad you do.
my anus is bleeding.
yep, me too.

 

by mrlogic
5-27-03
Hey, I'm a fucking squirrel. How the fuck did that happen?
Dunno. Maybe you were magically transformed by a little boy with a scar on his forehead.
Naah. That doesn;t make sense. Besides, Harry Potter ios a bag of fucking shite and I'd have nothing to do with it.
True.
So what do you think happened?
How long have you been a squirrel?

 

by mrlogic
5-27-03
Well, I guess I've been a squirrel for a while.
Exactly how long?
All my life.
Thought so.

 

by mrlogic
4-19-05
Later...
I suppose we should carry on with the mission.
What's that?
You know, claim this planet in the name of, er, you know, that country we come from.
What? Gibraltar?
No. The other one.
Ah, the banana republic.

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