All comics by nickbooyay

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by nickbooyay
2-08-01
Gee, I've never been to a suicidal psychiatrist before...
I am listening. It is difficult, however, since I am hammering a nail into my forehead. Please continue, a little louder...
Well gosh... I dont know where to begin...
I'm listening. I need a new nail...
What the hell? You're reading pornographic mail!
I am listening.

 

by nickbooyay
2-08-01
HI!
Who the hell are you?
You don't recognize me? I co-starred with Mel Gibson in "DragonHeart".
Mel Gibson wasn't in that movie. Kevin Costner was.
Meh...

 

by nickbooyay
2-08-01
A Debate Between George W Bush and One of His Cocaine Hallucinations
I am robot George W Bush.
How do you plan to increase education, lower taxes, and help to boost the common good?!
Um... Lockbox? I have one in my stomach...
What? What are you talking about? That doesn't make any sense!
Wait, my hallucinations are starting to make sense... I'd better go refreshen the coke supply...
Good idea.

 

by nickbooyay
2-08-01
The Streets of San Francisco
Hello. I am a flambouyantly homosexual man.
I must kill you. I'm sorry.
But my name is Steven!
*GASP* I'm Joe Ward! I love you Steven!
Wanna drink some pee?
I have to fart.

 

by nickbooyay
2-08-01
My name is Dirk the Donkey. Nobody likes me.
*SIGH* Look buddy, I got problems of my own over here. I'm stuck in this garbage can...
You know what would solve both of our problems? If I killed myself
You got a point there.
Ouch
This is odd...

 

by nickbooyay
2-09-01
Hello everyone, I am Nick Booyay. I would like to apologize for a great injustice that which I have commited.
In an earlier comic, which featured the dragon from the film "Dragonheart", Origamimi mistakenly identified the star of the film as Kevin Costner, when it was actually Dennis Quaid.
I would like to apologize for this great injustice. In retrospect, it was a poor decision. That is all.

 

by nickbooyay
2-09-01
Hi.
Whats up?
In case you're wondering, no, there is no punchline. The writer just found the concept of a talking fire hilarious.

 

by nickbooyay
2-09-01
Fred seeks council from the suicidal psychiatrist.
I have a problem, suicidal psychiatrist.
I see. I suppose I can post-pone slitting my wrists to hear your problems... Have a seat.
These people from KFC want me... I've been receiving mail threatening to Honey BBQ me...
Ah, so they want to kill you then?
Well yeah.
Yes that is a dilemma... do you by any chance have their phone number or a place where I can reach them?

 

by nickbooyay
2-09-01
Jesus, is it wrong to be gay.
No... where would you get a crazy idea like that?
I seem to recall reading it in the bible somewhere... maybe its just my imagination...
The bible? All that was some notes I wrote down on my napkin at a cafe. Some guy got a hold of it and made this big thick book out of it.
Ohhh... so I shouldn't believe it then? It's just a big scam.
Don't speak of the bible like that. Don't make me smite you.

 

by nickbooyay
2-09-01
So this guy... i used to work on his show. Then he gets this crazy idea to create a dysfunctional family of yellow people.
Mm-hmm...
So I tell him "I'LL HAVE NO PART IN IT!" and I run out, declining a part as the baby character, Maggie.
I see...
Well now its the longest running sitcom on TV, making tons of money, and my latest attempt at an NBC football league, The Rabbit League, has failed.
It's a problem alright. Ever considered hammering a nail into your head?

 

by nickbooyay
2-09-01
*RING RING*
What if thats my bill-collectors? I haven't had a job for 16 years... I cant possibly pay up!
*RING RING*
They'll put me in jail for LIFE! Why answer the phone??!!
Meanwhile...
Someone needs to get this 100 million dollar check I have right now and this guy is NOT answering. Guess I'll just give it to da great Nick Booyay.

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