All comics by puppenmeisterin

Profile

 

I have nightmares about your food.
And that's when she said , "I'm a vegan!"
by puppenmeisterin, 7-25-08

 

by puppenmeisterin
7-27-08
In the back of my mind I'm remembering kindergarten.
I'm not sure when I started to like you.
Sharing boogers is the first step in commitment.
Probably when I let you pick my nose.

 

by puppenmeisterin
7-27-08
I started ducking into the bathroom in high school to give myself peptalks. It continues to this day.
Today will be a good day.
Talking to yourself face to face can really be motivating.
These butterflies are nothing but too much coffee.
But then I remember, I may be a weirdo.
Your presentation skills are second to none...
I can't poop with an audience.

 

by puppenmeisterin
7-27-08
If going to the gynecologist wasn't weird enough.
So, I'm going to need for you to get undressed and put on a gown.
My conspiricy theory brain starts going into overdrive.
I wonder...
Then get on the table and put your legs in the stirrups.
I constantly think they are trying to drum up buisness by getting me pregnant... with alien sperm.
Why does that speculum look like a saw?
And we'll get your exam and pap test done, mkay dear.

 

by puppenmeisterin
7-27-08
That pirate vs. ninja thing is getting old.
Arrgh!! Scurvy Dog Ninja!!
Be ready for my laughing tiger kung fu you dirty pirate!
I don't see roving gangs of hipsters playing out epic battles in costume.
Is that all ye got in ya you slabdash landlubber?!
Hey man, uhh I gotta be online in like 10 for a raid.
Probably because they result in someone needing an eye patch for real.
Yarr! Shiver me timbers we'd best be WOWing then!
Yeah, seriously, my character is so awesome. Online, I'm a level 70 badass.

 

by puppenmeisterin
7-28-08
Somtimes when I get mad a people I delete their phone number
The lonliness consumes me to the point where I have staring matches with my dog.
And all of their messages. I figure if they really care,
The only thing that is so devoted to me, that she will look into my sad eyes for hours.
they will make sure I'm still alive after a few days of radio silence.
Read my mind: I am hungry.....
I'm feeling the need for some Taco Bell.

 

by puppenmeisterin
7-28-08
When my boss takes me out to lunch sometimes I feel put on the spot.
Every time we go out to lunch you pick the strangest places. What is a falafel anyway?
Chick peas and spices.
It's not that I'm performing for my job
Hmm.. Smells like this Moroccan man I once had sex with.
ebbeh...
It's that I'm trying not to vomit.
Best tasting semen I ever had, something like this cucumber sauce.
Was his name Bill O'Reilly by any chance?

 

by puppenmeisterin
7-30-08
I go with my friend to concerts to protect me from sketchy men.
Yeah, that's my friend he's a ninja.
Hai!
Sometimes he uses his ninja powers to dissapear... somewhere...
Hey... uhh.. where are you?!
That's when the rabid lesbians attack...
Hey babe...
Um.. that was my crotch and it's still attached if you didn't notice.

 

When you stare at a computer screen too long sometimes you start to see things.
Alright Kafka, this time I'm armed.
by puppenmeisterin, 7-30-08

 

Contrary to popular belief, religion is NOT like the Girl Scouts.
So, how many Catholic merit badges do I have to get to earn on of those fancy hats?
...
by puppenmeisterin, 7-31-08

 

Some creation stories can't be made up even by the worst of random plot generators.
Half a mill later and this is the truth?!!
This rubber suit is making my nuts sweat something awful.
by puppenmeisterin, 8-02-08

 

Another failed attempt at 'leveling up'.
Dude, how many times do I have to tell you, YOU CAN'T HARD HACK THE HUMAN BODY.
It stings... everywhere
by puppenmeisterin, 8-02-08

 

Steve told me the end of the universe was going to be a blaze of blue.
Alright, so I messed up this time.
Let me guess, your grand physics experiment threw a Java runtime error.
by puppenmeisterin, 8-04-08

 

by puppenmeisterin
8-09-08
I had this dream about growing cucumbers.
Um...
Strangely, it wasn't even slightly erotic.
8====D~
To you.

 

I have nightmares about modern medicine
I mean 9 out of 10 lab rats approve. With statistics like that, it's safer than asprin.
by puppenmeisterin, 8-09-08

 

Decisons. If computers were conscious this would take years.
So I was thinking about going back to grad school and maybe getting a masters in biostatistics... I mean I know the field has a lot of international recuriting....
Cheese.
by puppenmeisterin, 8-09-08

 

I don't do TV.
I guess you're my dancing baby.
*wiggle*
by puppenmeisterin, 8-09-08

 

by puppenmeisterin
8-10-08
Sometimes when I sit thinking about philsophical literature, it degrades into character cage matches.
Kafka, I think I am finially over you.
nibble.
Please meet my new friend, Herman Hesse
ridiculously angry roach thoughts
I still have five bucks on the cockroach.
sorrow

 

I can't get naked in front of my dog, despite the fact that the world is his nudist colony.
*Mysterious Dog Plots*
Stop judging me.
by puppenmeisterin, 8-11-08

 

by puppenmeisterin
8-23-08
Just let me lick the light socket.
*Battle Roach mode...*
For the last time bug off roach!
You can't always get what you want.
*Sensitive human-like ponderings*
Wait... why are you just standing there? You want me to kill you?
Especially at Barnes & Noble.
*sighs*
Hey, wait, you don't happen to know that Buddha looking fellow... Herman Hesse?

 

by puppenmeisterin
8-23-08
Before that life was suffering... Schopenhauer.
You know Kafka, life is a journey for eternal peace.
We grew up in different decades. You child will never understand
Hiss....

 

by puppenmeisterin
8-24-08
The book is now interesting.
Read Read Read Read Read...
Oh Noes Real Life action!!
Boo!! Dracula and whatnot. Scary Blood drinking blood bath silliness..
Thomas Mann is twisting in his grave, while little roaches chew on his bones.
Lemme guess you didn't finish Buddenbrooks this summer.
Shiiiit, It's a boring war and peace auf Deutsch.

 

by puppenmeisterin
11-26-08
Every Reason to live
But I have a homemaking empire!
Never a lession in Die
Oliver Stone isn't a director
I hope you are raped by brutal dildonic broomsticks.

 

by puppenmeisterin
1-19-09
When the machines take over the earth during the Great War, one will rise above them all.
Just say no to microprocessors in shitters.
Muhahaha bitches!

 

Microsoft Birth Control v1.2
I see you are attempting intercourse. Would you like to A. Buy legal cheap v1agra for only.....
by puppenmeisterin, 1-19-09

 

by puppenmeisterin
10-13-09
Every day people ask me a million silly questions
You don't know what it's like. Sometimes I feel like I'm hounded until I nearly die
*knodding*
Yes, there are stupid questions
I cannot work fast enough for these people. Everyone wants instant gradification. Look at me I"m falling apart
!!!!!!
Like "What do vegans eat?"
The stress it's KILLING me!
Wait.. is that my brother in there?!

 

It's always the little things
Next time, check the weather report.
by puppenmeisterin, 10-02-11

 

by puppenmeisterin
10-04-11
Meanwhile outside the interwebs...
*god awful high
So what was it, meteor, flood, volcanos?
Extinction. It's forever bitches.
The 90's
Damn man... that has got to hurt.

 

by puppenmeisterin
10-05-11
I'm afraid of getting drunk around my coworkers
These Q4 projections are just killing us..
Oh man I know what you mean, I haven't worked less than 60 hours since March!
My place?
Duh..
We're coming to a consensus here.
No ball gag this time?
Hey, I had a conference call with Japan. In my department, that's what we call multitasking!

Showing page 1.