All comics by shrewdom

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by shrewdom
7-28-03
True Love
there's poo juice dripping down my leg
How could you do this to me? You told me you loved me...and now this
I only love you for your boobies
Words I've heard before..but..
LET'S HAVE SEX!!
I knew you'd see it my way!

 

by shrewdom
7-28-03
I wake up every morning and think of her...
So I said that I'd call him later
Smile and nod, buddy! Think of something to capture her heart..!
What do you think I should do?
BOY HOWDY YOU SURE IS WARM AND PURTY!
.......bye now

 

by shrewdom
7-28-03
She eyes me like a pisces when i am weak
Cheer up, old chum...the wimin ain't easy sometimes
hey, wait, I got a new complaint
It's all half empty for you, isn't it, Kurt?
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn back
I liked you better after you blew your face in.

 

by shrewdom
7-28-03
Cass goes to bum around
Ahhh, AIM. I can always expect a lovely conversation with my many net buddies.
LOL OMFG CASS I CUT MYSELF I LIKE CRADLE OF FILTH WAA WAA WAA MY LIFE SUCKS
...the fuck?
D/L DA SONG 'I'M A SAD BUCKET OF JIZZ' BY ANGSTY STARLIGHT OMFG ITS EPXLAISN MY LIFE SO PRFCTLY!
Is there anything 13 year old goths can't do?
IM BI NOW G2G MY GF IS HERE

 

by shrewdom
7-28-03
Trenchcoats hide my long held in depression and fear of rejection/love
Have you always been this stupid, or has it only been since The Cure came out with their first album?
awkward silence ensues
.....
.......
I've lost my will to live. Come to me on dark wings of tears, my death angel.
(singing) HIIIGH HOPES! HE'S GOT! HIIIIIIIIGH HOPES!

 

by shrewdom
7-29-03
Sometimes I wonder if technology has gotten out of hand. Are we digging ourselves deeper than we can get out of?
How do you mean?
What ever happend to the good old days when we could go home, sit at the kitchen table and watch the wizard of oz while mom baked cookies?!
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
Nerd.
Up yours, old man!

 

by shrewdom
7-29-03
Every time I step outside, my faith in humanity is knocked down
Yo! I be bling blingin in the mall! shit! my second grade teacher be frontin but I'm like "PSH!"
Seeing your double
HOLY FUCK!
HOLY FUCK!
I'm never going to the mall again
I'm your sense of reality

 

by shrewdom
7-29-03
Can I take your order?
Somehow having the grim reaper as a frie-lord is disturbing..not suprising, but disturbing.
Hey, don't let it get to you..taking people to the afterlife isn't exactly a high-paying job, you know.
Oh. In that case I'll have a number seven, supersized.
That'll be $4.78. Say, could you move a little closer? My thrasher can't reach you from here.
Sure thing!

 

by shrewdom
7-29-03
yee-fuckin-haw. Nothing like sad-mascara poetry to make me appreciate the sound of someone scratching a chalkboard.
goth princess says: i wrote a poem called "sadness" want to read it????
(typing) you know, you'd be a lot cooler if you actually did kill yourself. No one will miss you
goth princess says: Today i looked in the mirror. I saw pain, sadness, but not you. Where is my love? my demise...my soul aches for you, but i want to be alone in my shell. i love trent reznor.
I like to egg them on
goth princess says: I cut myself, you know.

 

by shrewdom
7-29-03
(typing) Inspire me
Stef: you people and your demands!! write a song about me. send trogdor over to my house. put on a purple thing and dance around.
.....
Stef: ;) sorry. StrongBad runs deep in my veins!!!
Stef rocks
(typing) you are an inspiration to us all!
Stef: TGS shirts!! =D

 

by shrewdom
7-30-03
....
(singing) Are ya icky, are ya sticky, are ya hot as anything? hey! cut off two of your fingers and stab yourself in the eye!
body parts on screen hopping and bopping around like little bunny rats
!!!!!!!
Are ya icky are ya sticky are ya hot as anything? hey! get away from summer and cut off all your limbs!
oooooohhhhhhh kaaayy (backing away slowly)
Next time somebody comes over, offer them a cool refreshing glass of yourself! Give them yourself! Stop being such a selfish piece of snot, ok? ok? ok. and now back to our program.

 

by shrewdom
7-30-03
Inspire me
maybe green day is the best live rock act out there, but dammit. you need to see my testicles wabble.
I'm very proud of you
now you get to kiss my bubba teeth
sadly, I must decline...my kisses belong to another
i didn't say they had to be in my head

 

by shrewdom
7-30-03
My day's so long and unfruitful, nothing could be more wrong..I hate my life, I hate my family, and I hate the smell of burnt popcorn
so..pissed...so...pissed...so...pi-
Brent's online
Yaaaay!!!!!!!
Brent: hi :)

 

by shrewdom
7-30-03
The part of Cass will be played by a chessboard
You ever wonder what that odor is? You know, the one that comes after your butt feels like it just pushed out air?
hahahaha speaking of which...the best feeling ever is when you wash your ass crack and then let the water run through it.
that's my intelligent thought for the day

 

by shrewdom
7-30-03
Well this day didn't pick up like it usually does.
Ever think you had something to do with it?
All too often. It seems that everything is just crumbling, my sanity included. This day could not get worse.
Look on the bright side; at least your family doesn't take constant advantage of you, and your friends are there when you need them!
SHUT UP, FLOATING ARM!!!!
...seems I've struck a nerve.

 

by shrewdom
7-30-03
Well, floating arm, all is back to normal! I'm all giddy about life again, if it would only hurry up and be september.
Hurray! But...you can't keep being represented by 2 different characters.
you're right!
egad!
Brent chose this one, so she stays.
I suppose now you can go back to writing nonsense?

 

by shrewdom
7-30-03
The world is such a tragic event in and of itself. People have no empathy, The Real World is still on the air, and LAN parties aren't as abundant as beef jerkey
...........
HARBLUBLUBLUBLUB!!!
...wow. I think that pretty much speaks for itself. I'm going to bed.

 

by shrewdom
7-31-03
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my professional opinion that Jerkcity is the greatest webcomic EVER. This...is a tribute to Jerkcity.
LICKING DICKS!
HBLURHLUBHRLHBLURHLUBHRL!
Ain't they great, folks?

 

by shrewdom
7-31-03
OH FUCK YES!!!! GOD!!!! OOOOH YEAH!!!!!
Could you turn your tv down?
Well, that killed the mood.
you're telling me

 

by shrewdom
7-31-03
Wow! It's been so long since I've talked to you! I have to tell you all about when I ran away from home and my mom was all "ugh!" and had her black boyfriend come look for me.
egad! compulso the compulsive liar!!!
So he totally got stoned with me it was so cool. I had my tongue pierced but my boyfriend said he didn't like it so I took it out. I wasnt going to but he threatend to beat me if i didnt.
What the fuck, dude, you're not ever 16 yet. How the hell did you of all people get a boyfriend anyway?
I know this guy that owns a bar and he lets me go there when I skip schol to get drunk at hit on guys that are like 10 years older than me.
So YOU'RE the reason why so many guys would rather take a massive cock up the ass than kiss a girl!

 

by shrewdom
7-31-03
I sure could go for some vetkoek
I'm a monkey.

 

by shrewdom
7-31-03
When dreaming I'm guided through another world. Time and time again At sunrise I fight to stay asleep. 'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place.
'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape. From the life I live when I'm awake. So let's go there-Let's make our escape. Come on, let's go there-Let's ask 'can we stay'
CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER!!!!!
I'm going to kill you now, Mr. Squirrel.

 

by shrewdom
8-01-03
usquebaugh! I DEMAND USQUEBAUGH!
Ahhh, nothing like a lil' 16th century gaelic to get the whiskey flowin'.
duh?
From Gaelic 'uisge beatha' , literally “water of life.”
I likes to get drunk
Do you even remember what its like to be sober?

 

by shrewdom
8-01-03
OH YE GODS!!!!
Merry christmas little girl...open your gift
The fact that the package is precariously close to your..erm...package..I must decline
Come on...just close your eyes and reach in.
You're not really an elf, are you?
...My name's Bill...I snuck in through the window.

 

by shrewdom
8-01-03
Alright, we get the joke.

 

by shrewdom
8-01-03
You know what? I'm too lazy to add a backround, look for characters, think of witty text and put it down
Everytime you go to make a new strip. BAM! Little asian children, no backround. It'd be better if it just started off blank, but NOOOOOOOOO the little asian children!!! AGH!
So here we are. We'll never be featured in another strip again, unless it's some crude Full Metal Jacket rip off.
The floating arm would make this funnier.
Harblublublublublublublub!
Harblublublublublublublub!

 

by shrewdom
8-02-03
I's gonna make a pie outta you, pumpkin!
You don't want to do that!!!!
Why not?
Because even though I'm delicious, my nutritional value is far from par!
Hehehehe....that rhymes. I HATE RHYMES!!! I'S GOING TO MAKE A PIE OUTTA YOU!
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

by shrewdom
8-02-03
Meanwhile on ze television!
I'm Rosie O'fuckingfatassdonnel, this is my show, where I will tell you all about how great wal*mart is and yell about how much men stink while i try to breathe life into my once recognised career!
Who the fuck watches this crap?
Somewheres else in a very gay mans apartment
Yaaaay!
(Rosies rancid singing) HURRAAAAAAAAAAAAY FOR MEEEEEEEE!

 

by shrewdom
8-02-03
Yep
Uh huh
Don't get much better than this, do it, floating arm?
Nopers!

 

by shrewdom
8-02-03
After a long day at the office
011000010111001001100101
*nerdy laugh*

 

by shrewdom
8-03-03
011110010110111101110101 011000010111001001100101 01100100011101010110110101100010
wird
fuck. i hope i got that right this time.

 

by shrewdom
8-06-03
Today is Jeffs 18th birthday! w00t!
Happy birhday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, portrayal of Jeff! Happy birthday to you!
Stop singing, floating arm!
Happy birthday anyways.
/me jumps for joy

 

by shrewdom
8-06-03
when i close my eyes there's something greater to be said for this existance
the light shines through the clouds like an obligatory smile when it wants to be hidden away like the rest of us so often do
but each drop is like a syphony rather than a eulogy, each drop representing each second that brings me closer to something i've never held..and yet it seems so long in coming
...but if i close my eyes..if i close my eyes...
.....
....it's as if you were already here.

 

by shrewdom
8-06-03
BAGH! You cannot fix typos on this dang sight..it's like they want us to learn to check over our work before we submit a comic!
(displaying of the previous comics typos)
Stupid computer
>:D
If I weren't just a floating arm, I'd kick you so hard.
I bet it sucks to be a single appendage suspended in air by unknown causes :P

 

by shrewdom
8-06-03
SITE!!! I MEANT SITE!!!!!! AGH!
don't go blaming this on me! It's your own fault for spelling words like words instead of internet words.
lol
brb
lol brb wtf asl omg lmao lmfao omfg wtfh rofl
harblublublublublublub

 

by shrewdom
8-07-03
so...wanna go a couple rounds with the ghost?
aye
crap.
bow chica wow wow
what the HELL is going on over there?!
I swear, I had NOTHING to do with this!!!!!!

 

by shrewdom
8-07-03
True story
Next on Jenny Jones: Parents who push their children to be stars!
this might prove to be interesting!
(small child rapping) I'm a kid in da street, got reboks on my feet, and i like kool aid now my mommas gettin paid...and what not!
...oh dear god....no....
We'll be back with more of little rapping billy after these douche commercials!!
This is why every other country hates us so much..

 

by shrewdom
8-10-03
(whistling of sorts)
Ooo la la!
....
Hey, baby. You can strap that saddle on me and ride me ANY day!
Holy crap! A talking chessboard in the middle of a valley!
I can do more than just talk. Rawr!

 

by shrewdom
8-10-03
nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples nipples
and that's what turned me off from dating for awhile...what're you thinking?
...you have purty eyes
SCORE!
Aw, that's sweet! Wanna come back to my place?

 

by shrewdom
8-13-03
got any E?
yeah, how much you want?
two. how much do i owe ya?
Is it right to con people out of their hard earned money? True they want to spend it on drugs, but all i'm offering is fruity chewable vitamins! Oh the shame!
i can pay you in tongue service, lil' mama
...twenty ducats, chief

 

by shrewdom
8-13-03
I once heard a song about some chicks marrying a snow man. It was around christmas time and you asked if they were married..which I assume meant you wanted to bang them. How did that go?
Snowmen don't have genitalia
...hunh

 

by shrewdom
8-13-03
Doom and gloom I say! The end is near and koolaid is on sale at the local market!
RUN I SAY! THE GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP WAITS NO LONGER! FUCK! WHERE IS THAT GOTDANG ASSMUNCH MCCOY! LAW AND ORDER IS ON AT 7!!!
I found a penny!

 

by shrewdom
8-13-03
I have a penis!
Everyday, thousands of children are roaming the streets looking for something to eat.
I have a penis!
With your donation, we can buy shoes and education, food and clean water for these poor children. Call now and you'll recieve information and a photo of your sponsered child.
I HAVE A PENIS!!!!
Of course, if you don't call we'll be forced to send you this hermaphrodite with downs!

 

by shrewdom
8-14-03
chimminy chimminy choo?
What in God's name is this shit? Crawl back to the medical waste dump you spawned from, you hairless assbag!
You frighten the sewer children! May your ears walk a mile in tight shoes and be covered in blisters! Away! Begone!
babies are delicious
I've seen some weird shit in my day, but you take the cake.

 

by shrewdom
8-15-03
Back in my day the internet was full of promises. This was back before livejournel offered its free services for angsty teens, and before geocities could host thousands upon thousands of fan fictions
uh huh
No one wanted to even think of sailer moon and warf having a threeway with bender! It wasn't the order of things! No! The internet of my day offered morgages! Free diapers! It was a wonderful thing!
You're my only friend now, Mr. Telephone.
ring ring and such

 

by shrewdom
8-15-03
Each dawn strikes my fancy, as the sun casts its light through my bedroom window and warms my face from behind the sheets.
I smile often these mornings, knowing that the day can be one of two things, and my eyes are gooey with promises.
Yep. Gooey with promises.
Perhaps these are just eye boogers.

 

by shrewdom
8-18-03
bi-curious male! seeking entertainment! all cocks may apply (to my anus)
You're full blown gay. Not Bi.
You said blown, and yet that purty mouth of yours has not yet touched my co-
I'm leaving.
Would you like to pet my poopy?

 

by shrewdom
8-18-03
We're crashing! oh no!
aaaahhhh i'm a frozen rugby player that you think will die but i'll save us all!
I made some fine cutlets of the crew and that old woman who was crushed by a chair!
Let's walk 65 miles to chile
No thanks to the plane...we are still...
ALIVE!

 

by shrewdom
8-21-03
Even though I have some kind of weird disease, I'd like to wish Stef a happy birthday!
..Disease? Are you all contagious and shtuff?
Yeah, probably...wait, where are you going?
To scrub myself with lysol and/or pinesol. Later, germy mcgermerson.
Don't leave!!! I have gum! GUM!!!!!
...THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HAPPY OCCASION!

 

by shrewdom
8-21-03
tuesdays spittle, fallin off my chin into the coffee cup. splash. we wade through the tireless SUV rampage like what left and right lanes closed do to traffic do to my commute.
Puff puff. My lungs filled with the flavor of cancer on a partially dry tongue. Teeth caked with tar, we know who you are, and these countless cats are singin'.
Subliminal messaging, empty like my cereal wastebasket.

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