All comics by thecornettuniverse

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At the Main View...
C-Note, did you happen to take a shower before you came into work?
Yes, Miss K. You're probably smelling my AXE body spray again. You asked me that the last time I wore it, remember?
Come on, no body spray can smell that bad!
This is the first time I've worn it in over a month, and you only ask me that on days that I wear AXE.
Maybe you need to change deoderants then. You should try Secret...for a woman.
Excuse me, but last time I checked, I didn't have the proper equipment for that, nor do I plan to install any new hardware!

 

At the Main View...
So C-Note, how do you like my hair?
Looks sexy, Gigi! Going on a date?
Oh no, just figured it was time for a change. Most guys are so distracted by my body, they don't even know I wear glasses.
Still, you kinda have that 'just woke up' look, and most guys find that hot.
You gotta be kidding! The most intimacy I've had in three years was getting my nails done and the girl--
STOP! Unless a shampoo bottle and a female cop are somewhere involved in this, I don't want to hear any of the story!

 

Jesus, it's cold back here!
I know. I think I turned up the thermostat too low.
Later in the day....
C-Note, can you check the thermostat? I think it's too cold.
I doubt it. I'm sweating big time. If I step outside, I'll freeze into a C-Note popsicle.
It's the middle of February! How can you be sweating?
Karen, until you can sweat enough water to fill a Gatorade bottle, you have no idea what 'cold' is.

 

So Gigi, you finally 'divorcing' Sly? As bad as you guys fight, you might as well be married.
No, C-Note, I like rubbing his corduroy too much.
HEY! I don't need to hear that! And I'm pretty sure Sly don't need to either. I can only imagine his reaction.
Actually, I love when she does that.
Ya know, I'm surprised you two haven't been caught in the chemical room 409 style by Karen yet.

 

At the bar on your typical Friday night...
So baby, how'd you like to make a milata?
For the record, that's a coffee drink. You were obviously refering to a milaTO, or a halfbreed between races of people.
C-NOTE?! What are you doing here?! Can't you see I'm busy here?
I work here, Cowpoker. Which reminds me, YOU need to explain to Miss K why you refused to pay for your food the last few times you knocked a girl up.
That's the last time I tell C-Note what I do at the bars...

 

In Warvel Park...
Big-D! It's about time you came back to the area, man! I--
HEY!!! What gives, man?!
Did you honestly think I'd forget being turned into a CAT?! Do you have any idea the psychology that a wolf lover goes through on that?
Furthermore, I was a black cat! Come on! You could have at LEAST made me a calico cat!
Cowpoker always said he wanted black pussy....

 

So YOU'RE the one who put me into that ridiculous form! I oughta kill you now, Pizza.
That wouldn't be wise, Big-D. There are still a lot of my plans that are in focus.
Give me one good plan that requires you being alive.
Getting Cowpoker and Airhead together as a couple.
NOW we're talking my kinda plan! So which of my 'turn the Reverend gay' spells are you interested in?
The one that says "Queer Babynuts And How They Work For You."

 

Bunny....
Bunny....must...die!
Ten minutes later...and in between bites...
Say, C-Note, do you know where the rabbit I bought for Big-D's birthday feast is?
No...you might wanna check Cowpoker's place, he's the bestial pedo of the group.

 

In Big-D's current residence...
Dude, are you going to do anything other than play videogames?
Come on, man, play some Battlefront. Wookies are hot, dude.
Shouldn't you be out finding a job so we don't get kicked out of here?
You know, we should go tape "Alien Jamesy Part Eight"...you know, the scene where he gets ten anal probes at once...
WHY didn't I move in with C-Note when I had the chance?

 

In a secret location...
So, Psycho...we meet again...
But you will not escape my grasp this time!
Meanwhile, back on Earth...
TRAVIS! What the HELL are you doing?!
PSYCHO--I mean, GOOFY--I mean...oh, fuck, I'm in trouble now, huh?

 

YES! I, Semaj the Transcontinental, have finally returned from the dank splendor of Hell! Time to take over the world!
HALT! I am Shadow Chaos, and I will stomp your ass into the ground!
Whoa whoa whoa...Semaj the Transcontinental? That sounds gayer than a pizza.
Well it was either that or S-Hit, and you KNOW how I am about my alter ego...the name's gotta be just right.

 

At the Main View
C-Note, what do you think about the illegal immigration problem lately?
...
I want a bunny.
Great...that means he's willing to kill over the subject.

 

I can't fricken believe this...
What now, G-Money?
First I'm turned into a duck...then a rabbit...then a cow...then thrown in jail....then busted by C-Note...what else could POSSIBLY happen?
....you wanna make love?
We can go to Paris...I'm a model there.

 

Awwwwww yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about!
Better not even think it, dude. In the state of Indiana, it is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
"Since when does Indiana enforce that shit?"
Great...not only was I hard, but she was underage too.
I've seen that ass somewhere before....

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