All comics by Braze

 

Airman is so far away. by Braze 4-29-01
Out of the way. I have to make it to Airman before the Japanese woman tries to sell me stuff. Conflict!	Soon... ...That was easier than I thought. Why do I always do that?	Sometime later: You want to buy a fish-ship? Come on, it's cheap! Oh you faggot.

 

Filled with rage by Braze 4-29-01
I am so filled with rage. In order to make progress, we must contact your inner child.	Ok. ...	My inner child wants to watch Voltron. Now I'm filled with rage.

 

Why not to date Elephants by Braze 4-29-01
Yeah, so anyways, this is hard for me to say but... I don't know if this is working out... ...	I think that maybe we should see other people... ...	Elephant has strange mental power EXPLODE Yes!

 

The Basis of our economy by Braze 4-29-01
La la la! I must defuse these landmines!	Well, that was easy! OH NO! THE VIKINGS! Would you like some Chili? (it is delicious)	CHILI SAVES THE DAY AGAIN!! I enjoy! Chili is the basis of our economy.

 

Six Degrees of Separation by Braze 4-29-01
I'm from Alabama! Why, so am I!	Well I'll be! Do you know Steve? Yes! Yes I do!	AND THEN THE HATE BEGAN

 

What would you do? by Braze 4-29-01
So I found this weird lamp, and it turns out that I can have any wish I ask for granted instantly. So what are you going to wish for?	POOF! Tee hee! Ah.	AND THEN THE TORNADO CAME! Hooray! Asians are tornado-proof!

 

Universal Secrets by Braze 4-29-01
Well hello there. I POSSESS UNIVERSAL SECRETS.	Is that supposed to make you special or something?	BAF ALSO, I CAN FIRE BEAMS FROM MY EYES.

 

Deluxe Rocket by Braze 5-02-01
Well, it's finally here; my deluxe Hatticon Rocket!	...	I hate myself.

 

CC 27 - Score some Blow (first try) by Braze 5-02-01
What the... this isn't a thing like you. You've cleaned up; your hair is clean, you brushed your teeth with real toothpaste... what the hell is going on? I'm going to a party tonight!	... ah. You mean a "confetti, drinks and happy" type party, or a "dog suffocated with rubber tubing" type party? Uh, neither really. More a "pretentious art faggot" party. I will "narrow the intercise within my demographic".	... So basically you're going there to score some blow. Don't forget my overwhelming thirst for ass!

 

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: PEACE WILL ALWAYS LOSE by Braze 5-02-01
I am a ninja master. As such, I will teach you powerful, bone-crunching ninja techniques with which to FLATTEN YOUR ENEMIES. (my kung-fu is superior!)	...I thought martial arts was about pacifism and mental strength, you know; spirituality. ...	GROIN KICK!!!!

 

Request from a Donkey by Braze 5-02-01
Hey Jesus... uh, I need a little help. I am listening, my son.	Well, a witch turned me into this donkey, and if it's not too much trouble... You want to be changed back? No problem.	Good...... but can I keep the cock?

 

I risked insanity for this by Braze 5-02-01
Oh Spawn of Cthulhu! I have summoned you from your sleep within the ocean depths, such that you may serve my purposes! I have but one insanity-birthing request.... can you RAISE THE CITY OF UR? NO	Oh. Well then... great Spawn of Cthulhu... can you... GRANT ME IMMORTALITY?? ALSO NO	...........so what the fuck can you do, anyways? I MAKE A DELECTABLE MINESTRONE SOUP

 

I HAVE ANSWERS! by Braze 5-03-01
....I come from... beyond the grave.... I have..... many answers..... Okay then, here's one. What is it that defines the true goodness of a person? Is it their actions, or their motivations; or is it something else entirely?	..............well?	.....the answer to.... today's.... daily jumble is: "INTERN".

 

Is Dada dead? by Braze 5-03-01
		Check mate, Jeff Goldblum. Check fucking mate.

 

CC28 - A humbling error by Braze 5-05-01
ZAP ZAP ZAP HA HAA! Finally my experiment is complete! Now, for that fateful moment....	The pod swings open and... Gabba.... gabba... hey! Oh my god... what have I done... WHAT HAVE I DONE?!??! ..........I was such a fool to play god.......	MORAL: DO NOT LEAVE DIAL SET ON "SQUIRREL" .......this is almost as embarrasing as that time I created the British.

 

CC28 - I'm a big retard and forgot "smitten" in the last one by Braze 5-05-01
ZAP ZAP ZAP MWA HA HAAHA! Finally my experiment is complete! Now, to reveal my creation to the world!	The pod swings open, and... Gabba... gabba.... hey! Oh my god... I was so smitten with the godlike power.... that I've made a greivous mistake! What... what have I done... WHAT HAVE I DONE?!??!	MORAL: DO NOT LEAVE DIAL SET ON "SQUIRREL" ...this is almost as embarrasing as that time that I made the British.

 

CC30- Love is.... by Braze 5-15-01
In the Super Secret Space Lair... ...an acronym. See, L.O.V.E. It stands for "light orbital veridium eradicator". ...some kind of weapon?	...not unlike a giant laser. I hear it was mainly intended for incinerating asians from the comfort of space. THANK GOD! ...really a great service to humanity! BECAUSE I ALSO HATE ASIANS SO MUCH	ZAP!!! ...a distant point of light, shining down a single beam towards us... HEY! I'M NOT EVEN ASIAN!

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