All comics by CrazyIvan

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by CrazyIvan
2-27-02
Wow...This IS good acid.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-27-02
Maybe Alfie was lying...
Nevermind, this is good acid.
Daed si luap.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-27-02
At the Robot Comedy Club:
Have you heard the one about the oil can and the wrench?
This comedian is awful.
Yep. But maybe that's because Robots have no emotion. HEY, YOU SUCK!!!
Oh God, you're right!!
It's cool, baby, you can make money suckin ROBOT DICK.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-27-02
Hey, Captain Curtain Rod.
Johnny, I told you, you can call me Steve now.
So, how's it goin, Steve?
Johnny, do you remember why I brought you here?
No, that weird candy you gave me made my head hurt.
HA HA HA HA!! Yeah...well, shut up and take off your pants, bitch.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-27-02
Alright, commencing robot pain test #4898730. I will now punch you, okay?
Do it.
Did it hurt?
OWWW!! Fuck yes it hurt!
Hmmm. It shouldn't have. You don't have genitals.
Yeah, I know...

 

by CrazyIvan
2-27-02
...the fuck?
Maybe I should just commit suicide...
...both of our facilities are unavailible to you at this time. Please do not consider this as an option again. Repsectfully yours, God and The Devil, Esquire.
Dude, isn't that your girlfriend in that gangbang on the porn channel?
No. I am gay.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Ahh! What the fuck is that?!?
It appears to be a sentient virus on Gina's computer. Shall I commence hard drive deletion protocols?
Use Microsoft Word, bitch!
What the fuck did you guys do to my computer?

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Gina, why was I designed without...umm...?
yeah?
Y'know...
No, I don't know. Just ask me.
...genitals.
Oh, Lord...

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Hey Tom, do you smell something?
No.
You don't smell that?
I said no, didn't I?
Noooo! My Pokemon cards!

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
What the fuck is he looking at?
Brian?
Yes, Tom?
Can a robot be gay?

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
I think Tom is Gay.
You're just figuring this out?
Well, what do you suppose we should do?
Don't worry, it's all taken care of...
To Be Continued...
Do I even want to know?
Probably best if you didn't.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Where am I? Oohhh, my head...
Tom? Tom Robot?
Wh-who are you?
I am, that I am...
Holy Crap! It's...
Jackzen Mackzen! Slammin the 40's, slappin da hoes, solvin da woes!

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Jackzen, I have a problem. I think I might be gay.
Think? Nigga you ARE. But don't worry, I can fix that. By the way, have you ever seen a black man naked?
Err, why do you ask?
Uhh, never mind, come over here.
Five Minutes Later
I never really knew what it was to be gay, Jackzen. I had never heard about the...sexual stuff. Umm, how long do you think it will be before I can crap again without bleeding?
3 to 4 days, baby. And that'll be four hundred dollars, homie. Fo fuckin you straight and all.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Hey, Robbie! Good news, I'm not gay anymore!
You were gay? Why doesn't anyone ever TELL me anything!?!
Well, I'm not gay anymore. Thanks to Jackzen Mackzen, I crave sweet pussy more than ever!
WAIT A MINUTE! You have genitals?
Oh...no.

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Demonic Advice
Seriously, pussyface, I think you need a bikini wax.
Poor Timing
"We'll return to 'How To Save Yourself from Cement Shoes' in four short minutes."
Fight Club 2: Fuck Club
First rule of Fuck Club is: don't talk about Fuck Club.
...gulp...

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Sup nigga?!
What?
Jackzen Mackzen sold me a book on how to speak street slang. It's called, "Ebonics Fo Bitchez".
Oh, Lord...
Yo fool, check dis shit out! Westside!
This will end badly...

 

by CrazyIvan
2-28-02
Yo, bitch, git yo ho azz outta mah face, see?
Hey, mista, can I blow you?
Is that junkie trying to blow that robot?
Sho nuff, ho, git on yo knees.
Oh shiznit, da 5-0!!
Sir, would you remove the junkie from your, oh, wait you have no genitals. Well, leave her here and come with me.

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