All comics by P_I_C

Profile

 

by P_I_C
7-14-03
Do i look like a slut"?
Un huh
Shut up!

 

by P_I_C
7-14-03
Mommy! Mommy! We learned about the outer space today!
Is that so?
Yeah! And i know what i wanna be when i grow up!
Silly child, you're not going to grow up.
Why not mommy?
Because you have cancer.

 

by P_I_C
7-14-03
Hi... Jesus...
Oh! Hi Brad!
Forget yer safe word again?
......yeah

 

by P_I_C
7-14-03
Is it wrong to like the way your own nuts smell?
What?

 

by P_I_C
7-15-03
Shit!
What's wrong?
Father Finnegan put me in charge of confessional while he's out today. He gave me a list of common sins and their penance, so i could just look the sin up and presto! Absolution!
So what's the prob?
This guy just came in and said he's been sodomizing his best friend. That's not on the list! What're the priests giving out for sodomy these days?
Five bucks and a snickers bar.

 

by P_I_C
7-15-03
I just saw the preview for that new Tom Cruise flick: The Last Samurai! It looks bitchin'!
Oh yeah. Isn't that the one where he kills a bunch of people and is a samurai, yet he's not asian.
Well... yeah. But not all Samurai are asian.
Correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't the definition of Samurai: "The Japanese feudal military aristocracy."? ...Yet Tom Cruise is the last one?
Tom Fucking Cruise?!?
Asshole.

 

by P_I_C
7-16-03
Hour One: Exposure
Hey, i've got money and no taste.
Hour One: Infection
Oh yeah, just like that. You know how Poppa likes it!
Twenty Four Hours Later: Epidemic
Can we talk?

 

by P_I_C
7-16-03
Check it out honey! I told you it could STAY bent.

 

by P_I_C
7-16-03
Hey there Shareese. You're going to be working the kitchen today. Boss doesn't want you on the register anymore.
This is because i'm black, isn't it?
Yes.

 

by P_I_C
7-17-03
Hey there sweetie.
Hiya daddy!
Mommy went out shopping for the day, you know what that means don't you? It's time to play Rodeo!
Damn, that girl can run fast.

 

by P_I_C
7-17-03
Man, i was so wasted this one time in band camp i stu-
You were never in band camp Dave.
No, no, no. I was! And i used to play the flute! And this one tim-
Dave, thats from American Pie. You were never in band camp. I've known you your entire pointless booze laden life.
No, no, listen! This one time when i was in band camp i stuck a flute in my pussy!
God i hate you

 

by P_I_C
7-22-03
I'm glad we decided to have dinner. I've been completely infatuated with your otherworldly beauty... Your hands, they're so cold... like a corpses.
I know, but your hands, they're so warm, and human, unlike my frigid vampire hands. I should go freshen up.
I know we have our secrets. But whatever your involved in, we can work through it. It's not like we're facing a bunch of vampire overlords who have control over the city.
And by "freshen up", i mean feeding on another living thing for sustenance.
You wouldn't believe the things that we were discussing in the morgue. Something strange is happening, i just wish i knew what it was!
And by "feeding on another living thing for sustenance" i mean sucking the blood from a woman in the bathroom.

 

by P_I_C
7-23-03
I love you so much. Oh, when we were cuddling earlier, i couldn't hear or feel your heartbeat. What's up with that?
Oh yeah. I'm a vampire. I know it's hard to understand. But i love you. Please understand.
Sooooo... does that mean we can't have sex anymore?

 

by P_I_C
7-23-03
So it really doesn't bother you that i'm a vampire?
Why? Because in any well written realistic scenario, a normal everyday person who would normally have their entire world upheaved by such a revelation, is only complacently stirred?
Well... yeah.
No, not really.

 

by P_I_C
7-23-03
Oh, god i love you... so... much.... jesus. I can't do this anymore. This is such crap! Who wrote this? A drunk crackhead on black tar heroin? I mean WTF?
Shut up! Come on, it's Aaron Spelling! He could shit on a peice of paper and it would get made, now shut up and read the freakin' lines!
No way! Have you read the rest of the script for our characters? Because i have sex with you i'm not affected by vampiric powers? What was the working title Spelling? Skindred: The Undressed? Pervert!
Hehe... uh... good one Thomas... yer such a kidder!
What are you talking about! I'm seriou- OH GOD!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Oh.. i love... you too Detective Kohanek. And now that we've made sweet.... undead love... you are immune to the powers of my brethren.... if they try to hurt you.

 

by P_I_C
7-26-03
I've decided i'm going to take the initiative before anyone else accuses me of it with clever insinuations. I am a homosexual.
Dude, thats so gay.

 

by P_I_C
7-30-03
So, yer gay? Not like "Man he's gay" but gay? Or did you mean "Oh man, i'm so gay" or did you mean "Hey man, i'm gay"?
.....Yes?
So... like you have sex with men, right?

 

by P_I_C
10-31-07
Alright Josh, just wanted to call you in 'cause your numbers have been a little low lately. Now i know that 10$ here and there doesn't seem like alot, but it adds up, see where i'm going with this?
Yeah, i guess.
*sigh* ok Josh, let me put it another way, i'm going to bring it down to your level, ok? What does ten bucks mean to you?
Well, i guess if you put it that way, something like lunch for a couple of days... you know, or a handjob in the tenderloin.
.....What did you just sa-
You are SO right Jerry, and i get what your saying, i mean i really shouldn't be paying ten bucks for a handjob from a whore in a tutu with no teeth who's really a man.

 

by P_I_C
10-31-07
Hi *cough* my name is Jason Vorhees... i made this list see, it's of all the people i killed and i'm trying to make ammends... ah geez.... come on Jason remember the steps.. Ok, see i killed your son.
But i don't understand, the police told me his head was knocked off, something about a freak accident on a rooftop...
He was the boxer right? In manhattan? It was... well you see i got mixed into the wrong crowd, i fell off a sit and spin and onto a mountain of PCP.. really, it's *sigh* it's just a long story...
Oh fun! I love sit and spins! That's what i used to call my old boyfriend! Hmm... i wonder whatever happened to Derek i should call him...
Um.. hello? Are you listening to me? Killed your son, punched his head off, caused grief, loss, and probably a closed casket... Anything?
Oh look! A puppy! C'mere puppy! I'ma getchoo! I'MA GETCHOOO!!!!

 

by P_I_C
6-04-09
I won't do it! I peeked at that planet readout for that planet you're beaming us down too! IT'S A MASSIVE SEA OF LAVA!
Don't be such a baby! There are little islands.... sort of. Besides i'm the Captain! And this is mutiny!
ISLANDS?! Those are LAVA WYRMS! No way! "Oh Stuart, you've been chosen for reconnaissance! Take this nifty shirt!" I know what this shirt means and want to go back to my farm where there are no LAV-
HAH! While you were being Mr QQ Redshirt, i found my transporter... thing! I'm gonna pop over to some other part of this ship, then i'll have you arrested and court marshalled!
Wait.... What's that soun- AHHHHHHHHH! BEES! WHY ARE THERE BEES!!! IT HURTS LIKE HONEY FLAVORED STABBING!!!!

 

by P_I_C
6-08-09
Crap, here comes Jim, if i could just minimize World of Warcraft before-
Is that WoW? Hah! That shit is for babies! "Oh lookit me, i press 1, 2 and i win THE WHOLE GAME!"
Must quell rising tide of murderous rage.........
AND yer playing a Retardin! Bubble, heal, bubble, heal, bubble, heal, bubble, HEARTH! N00b, have fun with yer Fischer Price Baby's First MMO! I'm outta here.
Douchebag. At least i didn't roll gnome IRL without getting the Int buff.

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