All comics by SpacemanBill

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by SpacemanBill
11-08-01
Douleur De Steve
Je suis maudit pour toujours. Mon ennui français accable. Je terminerai ma vie.
Forever I am cursed. My French woe is overwhelming. I shall end my life.
Steve's Pain
Au revoir, monde cruel! Je vous laisse maintenant!
Goodbye, cruel world! I now leave you!
Ceci ne fonctionne pas très bien. Mes plans sont horribles!
This doesn't work very well. My plans are horrible!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-08-01
Poulet sage, je prie de vous de me donner votre grande sagesse et de m'aider à trouver le bonheur vrai.
La mort par le feu, jeune un.
....
RIEN!!!
And that's why the French don't bathe!
Truly!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-09-01
Your time has come, George Harrison.
I'm not George Harrison.
....
Too bad.
And that's why Grandpa smells like a 60's pop sensation.
Snarl! Blaugh!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-09-01
Hey, baby! I'm Jason Alexander!
Wow! I'm a cheap whore!
YOU SAID "CHEAP!!!" DON'T YOU KNOW I'M A WEREDONKEY?!!!
YOU SAID "WEREDONKEY!!!" DON'T YOU KNOW I'M A WEREHILL-BILLY?!!!
That strip was crap, you know.
Well, I AM radioactive right now.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
God, it's my clone again. Maybe if I just don't say anything....
Hey! Me! It's you! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh, um, hi...how's it going? It's, uh, been...are you staring at my crotch?!
I'm just admiring my nice package, that's all.
I hate my life.
Uh-oh, my crazy altered DNA's acting up again...stupid genetic tests. How's plutonium in my lungs gonna replace Viagra, huh?!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
Satan, our marriage is on the rocks.
Dearest Kathie Lee, whatever do you mean?
I saw you with that floozy!
N-n-no you didn't.
Meanwhile....
Were you with Satan AGAIN?
YOU KNOW IT!!!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
I am very sad.
What's wrong, Roy?
My life is a sham. I can't get anything worthwhile.
Don't be so glum! Every cloud has a silver lining you should reach for!
Hey! You're right! I call these silver linings "poontang!"
It amazes me how you get away with lines like that.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
I'm so excited! I get to meet THE Captain Cluxxor!
Yes, you do. Now, I will give you the meaning of life....
Death by fire, young one.
Wait...didn't we use that in one of the French strips? It's just a re-hashed strip!
AND WHY ARE YOU A GOAT?!!!
Dummkopf! Sie geben weg mein Geheimnis! Ich beende Sie!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
Look! I've jammed a nail in my head to declare my love!
That's a little disturbing, Al.
What are you talking about?! It's poetic! Like Vincent Van Gogh lobbing off his ear!
Van Gogh was a nut who could only get a date with hookers. This isn't poetic or romantic at all.
Thanks, that really kicks my self-esteem up a notch.
Don't mention it.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
Remember kids: browsing through DexX comics while stoned is bad!
Well, if it isn't Roy and his band of hooligans?
Me likey da Phish!
I'm gonna eat your...Dr. Lobster-style strips suck.
Wasn't my idea.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
Hey, a dollar! I can have a 20-minute phone call with that!
Fancy special effects go...HERE!!!
Dammit.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-10-01
Let's see...I grab a dollar bill, then end up in a post-apocalyptic-esque place in a trash can and—
HU-MAN!!! THINKING IS A CRIME!!!
Ah! A farm animal! You can help me—wait, wait, no you can't.
Correct, hu-man! You will come with me to HU-MAN PRISON!!
Later.... (With apologies to Jason Alexander, who's a real funny guy who'll never read this anyway)
Hi, I'm Jason Alexander.
Dammit.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-11-01
Jason, tell me, why are evil donkeys in control of the world?
Well, a long, long time ago, the great donkey revolution took place. They've been in power ever since.
My GOD!! How could this have happened?! How long was I in that trash can?! Why did I grab that dollar?!
Dollar, you say? You mean...THE DOLLAR OF DOOM?!!!
Dollar of doom? That might explain why I seemingly traveled into a donkey-ruled future.
That and the fact I haven't moved an inch.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-11-01
In this time of need, the finest military and diplomatic minds have gathered in our great nation's White House.
Hey! Dick! Gimmie back my pokeemans!
Mr. President, Pikachu is not important! Bin Laden has nuclear weapons and is threatening to use them!
Did I say the finest?
But I gotta get Pikachu ta evawlve!
I have an urge to punch you, George.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-11-01
One night I was screwing my girlfriend in a graveyard. We were on top of a tombstone.
I got all this green stuff all over my arse.
This was a good lesson in karma and/or gardening.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-11-01
In a city ruled by crime and organ grinders....
Gimmie yer monkey!
Mamma mia!
One man has the balls to stand up to them all....
Grr! We represent crime and organ grinders!
Damn straight!
That man...is CANADIAN DAVE!
What's all this aboot?
Coming this winter to a theater near your momma!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-11-01
RAAAAAR!!!
Fear not, brother Tobor! It is I, Tobor Der! Your—
Lights go out! GASP!!!
RAAAAAR!!! CORNHOLE TIME!!!
SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!!!
And that's why I'm so horribly deformed.
w00t!

 

by SpacemanBill
11-13-01
How's it goin', eh?
Take off, you hoser! I'm takin' over, eh!
But I need the cash...no one ever puts me in comics anymore....
That's because everyone hates you.
There's no ending, is there?
No Strange Brew references seemed to fit.

 

by SpacemanBill
11-16-01

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