All comics by WrinkledUnderwear

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Hey dad, what's up?
Happy 18th birthday son. Now get the fuck out of my house you fag.
by WrinkledUnderwear, 1-01-07

 

Screw you dad! I'm moving to Oregon and going to be successful.
Sure you are. Have fun being a manwhore for coke money, fag.
20 years later
Hey dad, I'm successful, wealthy, and loved. You're still a drunken old shithead who can't get off the couch to take a piss.
Yeah, but at least I'm not a fag.

 

So I hear you now own the Parsons ranch.
Yeah, I was thinking of turning it into a gay disco.
'Twould be a shame to let alla them livestock go to waste.
I could always open a Bestial Brothel for all the cowboys in town.
Haha, you're all right, city-slicker.
Thank you for not killing me.

 

Moo.
Oh come on. There hasn't been a UFO sighting around here in decades. You're not going to get abducted.
Moo.
Well, I can't be too sure about that, but I thought Bigfoot wasn't into livestock.
That funny new fella is talking to his cows again.
Why don't he just fuck it like normal folk?

 

So, I heard ya wanted to git yerself a heifer.
Yeah, the balance of cow power is a problem lately.
Looks like ya got plenty o' bulls.
I do like large balls.
Mebbe we can make a trade. I've been wanting to git myself some strong bulls.
Have you thought about moving to California?

 

So, yer some kind of fag, ain'tcha?
Guilty as charged.
There be all kinds o' folk 'round here. Don't mind yer kind a'tall.
I appreciate it.
At least ya ain't a Jew.
Uhoh...

 

I'm sorry hon. We had a fire in the basement and all the computers were destroyed. You can't check your email til we get new ones.
Oh, well is there any other place I can check my email until you get new computers?
Nearest place is Portland.
You mean there's no other place in this podunk town to check my email?
The prison has a computer lab.
Portland it is.

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