Why is beily so cool? by beily2-21-02 Beily's coolness. You make me sick. I hammer things. I smell. Heeeee. Heeee. I wish I could eat you. Rrrrrrr. I eeeeat you! Noo. Wait, i can't move.
Tear Tear by beily2-21-02 Owwww. I hurt myself with pacman. i like you. Don't touch me. I'm bloated. Where'd you go? i miss you already. I fight you now! I'm crying. wah wah
Machine Love by beily2-21-02 I think I'm on fire!!!! I eat you fire!!! I feel philosophically sound. I'm not a machine! I'm a man! Man I say! Do yah think I'm sex-ay? Tv is the tool of the gods! Zeus, Come to me!!! COME! I wish I could eat you.
Gay painter meets Dog on ball by beily2-21-02 Look At meeeeee!! I'm a dog on a ball!!!!!! whoohooo go me go me go me i am a gay painter. I like crossing my arms. I like dogs on balls. hehehehe. You likey me bikey? I likey your bikey. I like my outfit. I am cute. oooooh yes. you are special. nudge nudge.
Tribute to Jerry by beily2-21-02 I will kick you Jerry Lee!!!! hehe. I see a sun!!!! haiii yahhh You make me sick. I hate you. I am also dead. Come back here so we can make sweet love and monkey babies! I am Superman! I am a prodigy! I will eat you, you sick little Britney Spears!!!!!
Beware of the Santa Man by beily2-21-02 Hey Santa, give me some food. Or I'll eat you and hit you with my stick. I ain't Santa, foo. I'm an Elf. You want some of this? Gawdddd, I have to sit down now. You make me feel fat and ugly. I'm attracting old, hairy men now. Youuuuu makkke mee feel like a natural woman!!! Why me? I feel so alone... Don't rape me Please! I'm a virgin chicken! Born to die! Rarrr. Meum. Kikk.
Robotic Relationships by beily2-21-02 Hey sexy, my name's Beily. Hi! I'm a robot! Beep Beep. I can't urinate. I'm crying for you. I'll start a Can't-Urinate Anonymous Group for you, dear. Please don't patronize me. I have red eyes. Your metal body makes mine shudder. Huhuhuh. I wish I could wash my hair. I scream for ice cream!
Roger's Adventures by beily2-22-02 I am Robot Roger. I eat yarn. Don't touch me. I need to urinate. I will kill you! Roger was my ex-lover! Robot love! Touch me. I'm emo. RRRARY. I am insecure.
Farmer man meets Homosexual Squirrel. by beily2-22-02 Yo Yo Yo, You are a fine piece of liver. I'm not gay? I am a farmer. I am nekkid. You want to come closer? You're that damn homosexual Squirrel! EEEE, I attack you! I dress in black so I won't be invisible. I have no teeth to bite thee! Reessss!
I am Asian. by beily2-22-02 I am Asian Beily. I like you Beily. You make my world tilt. No, that's the drugs. I braided my hair. I'm Midget Asian Beily. I think I'm choking. Or having an incredible hallucination. Let's so smoke some minnows. I put my hair back down. Let's go to Disneyland and get married. I like my Aladdins short, my Cinderellas black, and my Beilys asian.
To Shave or not to Shave by beily2-22-02 Do you think I should shave my legs? You have no legs, therefore I must eat you. Chomp Chomp. Do you think I should shave my legs? I am carrying your legs. The children of today have no use for their legs. I am the Great Leg Stealer of Children. I leave gum under their pillows. Do you think I should shave my legs? Yes, can I have your hairs? I'm gay and I need body hair to attract sexy men! Look at me muscles!
The Scottlet Letter by beily2-22-02 Dear Beily, I need your secret potion to make me Asian like you. Love, Scott. I say we hammer him and steal his babies. I can't! Life is over! I hammered myself and sat on the babies. Hmm. He sure does smell. I told him to quit picking his bum for treasures.
No Life Stan by beily2-22-02 I am Devil Stannnnn. *clap clap* I met a mannnnn. His name was Dannnnn. He read the Korannnnn. I like Dannnnn. *booooo* I have no life. Or mother. *heeeee heeee*
Attack of the Heads by beily2-22-02 I am Spikey Head. I poke people with my groovy hair. No, I am Spikey Head. I hit you with my head! Why do you hate me so? I don't. Let's make sweet spikey head love. Your big head is hurting me! Stop this head rape! Ackeeeee! (head loving making noises)
Prostitution woes. by beily2-23-02 It's so hard to find pantyhose these days. Amen to that, brotha. It's so hard to be a rabbit prostitute, yo. I know! What is wrong with these people? Prostitution is the foundation of our country! I think I got crabs the other day. Me too.
Adventures with Frank Underwater by beily2-24-02 I am Frank. I am a statue. But I talk still. Hi Frank. I am Beily. I took off my Asianness. -_- Don't be sad. We are underwater. There are no humans here. I hate you. That's ok. There are penguins down here too.
Keith and Beily the Fly by beily2-24-02 Hello everyone. I am Keith. You're a loser. I mock you with my numorous eyes. Let's make sweet love, fly. Get away from me. I am Beily the Fly. Wah Wah. I am buff and attractive. Why doesn't anyone like me? Beily the Fly is leaving now.
Jordana and her Craziness. by beily2-24-02 Hey I am Blue Fish Jordana. I am Asian Beily. Why are you talking to me? Is it because I'm black? I knew it. You're racist. I am Asian. Not racist. I love blue fish. I love you. Haha. I am better than you. I don't need water. I am Blue Fish Jordana. Stop attacking meeeeeee! You make me sick!
Adventures with Cowboy Wes by beily2-25-02 I am Cowboy Wes. Good day. I have no pants. Help me. Shhhhhhh. Quiet. I demand that you help me. I will attack you if you do not. I am a Cowboy. I do not have to listen to you. I am off to Improv. Shut up. I am telling you to find my pants. I will now attack you with my beer bottle.
Sumeet and his black/whiteness by beily2-26-02 I am the shortened version of Sumeet. In black and white. I am Asian Beily. Did you study for the Physics, English, Spanish, Debate quizzes? Shut up. Go hide in your debate shell. Haha. Gravity is falling up again. I love existentialism. You're a loser. I braided my hair again.
Underwater? Frank? by beily2-27-02 YOU ARE CRAZY, BEILY! No, Frank. I am White, not Crazy. Stop it! You are driving me insane! KOMPRESSOR DOES NOT DANCE! Uh. I dance. La dee dah heep. Look, Frank, non-asian Beily is dancing. Ahhhhhh! If I wasn't a statue, I would run away. I understand, Frank. I like Hemingway, too.
Stacy's B-day! by beily2-28-02 Hi Stacy. Happy Birthday! Get those thighs chunkier with that chocolate! Thanks, Asian Beily! Hey Stacy. Happy B-day. Kompressor does not dance. I don't say that. Thanks... Frank... Happy Birthday. I aspire to be Little Stacy in the future. Uh. Get away from me, little girl.
The lack of Asianness by beily3-04-02 I am Asian Beily. Being Asian sure is boring. I notice there are only 2 Asian characters here. I think everyone is discriminating against Asian Beily. I feel a need to go to a corner and rock in a fetal position. ... I cannot even change my expression. Not all Asian Beilys smile and are short, damnit! I demand more facial expressions and the ability to move!
Shayak's ... pants? by beily3-08-02 I don't think I can handle life anymore, Shayak! Well, why don't you cry me a river. I think I will. I HATE YOU. Shut up, I don't want to hear it. My fatass can just sit here and watch you cry. ---- cheats soooo much, I seriously hope he gets caught. I KNOW! He better not have gotten a higher grade than me!!!! Let's tell profe!
More Shayakness by beily3-13-02 One regular conversation with Shayak Hey Shayak, how come you're so superficial? Bite me. Ouch, that hurts. I hope that you get rejected from fat camp and get told to go to super fat camp. Why don't you just shut up? I think we should make the Gossip Club. I KNOW! HEE HEE. We're so coooool.
El Shayako by beily3-15-02 More of that sexy Shayak. Shayak, like, OMG, your ass is so huge. We should make an umbrella out of it. Shut up!!! Stop undressing me with your eyes!!! It's impossible. Your pants got stuck in your ass. You're horrrrrrrrrible!!!! I wonder what we got on the APUSH test. I think we missed like 3!!! JK JK LOL LOL, you're so funny. Bite me.
Jerry's only answer. by beily3-23-02 Jerry, what is the meaning of life? Kristin Kreuk! Jerry, why am I Asian? Kristin Kreuk! Jerry, please stop raping me. Kristin Kreuk!
Long live the dodo by beily4-01-02 I think I'm going to die. I say "rah" Er. Could you go somewhere else? I live in this comic. Um. I have no life either. I like seeds.
Poor sympathy by beily4-20-02 Everything is wrong!!! It. is. What is this craziness? My life has gone astray. Drugs may be the answer. Gahhhhhh. eeep.