All comics by kingofthehill

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by kingofthehill
12-13-02
It's Christmas Eve and Santa is being selective about presents, due to a shortage in plastic.
no presents for this one...
Yo! Santa! It's Christmas, muthafucka! Where mah presents at?!
Denzil gets vexed.
I'm afraid you can't have a present little boy, because you're black and I'm a racist.
WHAT?! I'm a bust a cap in yo' ass, muthafucka!!!
Dont be racist, kids, or you'll end up dead like Santa.
word up, sucka.

 

by kingofthehill
12-15-02
Julie has just died.
awww man.. do i have to go to hell?
your ass is mine, dead-boy. anyway it's your own fault - you shouldn't have killed those babies.
bollocks.
the moral of the story = don't kill babies.
hahahahaahahaha

 

by kingofthehill
12-15-02
pickin my nose...
drivin my car.

 

by kingofthehill
12-15-02

 

by kingofthehill
12-15-02
David Coulthard visits Big Evil Dan in his 1-bedroom flat, with no other rooms.
so, er, you're Big Evil Dan then?
yep.
Mr. Coulthard is dissapointed.
you ain't so big or evil. this was a waste of my time coming here - i hope you choke.
alright. see you later.
what a strange fellow...
but... you live here...

 

by kingofthehill
12-15-02
ho ho ho! what do you want for Christmas little boy?
what the fuck do you think i want - LOOK AT ME! I'M BEING CRUCIFIED HERE!!!
crikey...
How about a Pokemon?
It's my fucking birthday aswell...

 

by kingofthehill
12-18-02
The staring match continues...

 

by kingofthehill
12-19-02
So I went down to the beach and I saw this chick and she was all like "eurgh" and I was all like YEAH WHATEVER! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
And I was on the corner wearing my leather and this dude was all like "Hey punk!" and I was all like "Yeah whatever!" HAHAHAHA!!!!
You're not funny.
Ummm... whatever?

 

by kingofthehill
1-03-03
Father Stone recieves some bad news
You're under arrest, Father. Priests have been deemed politically incorrect, and offensive to other religions.
Surely you are joking, my son?
I'm afraid not, Father. Please accompany me to the station. Ah - here's your replacement now...
Please Lord, help me to have some dignity in this, my time of need.
What the fuck?

 

by kingofthehill
1-07-03
cats cats cats cats
everyone here hates me
how come?
because i dont really care if cats die
man, you are evil.
Government research shows that cats are less important than humans

 

by kingofthehill
1-09-03
At Harvard...
Hello, I'd like to apply for a course in savagely rectally probing damned souls for eternity please
Certainly! What qualifications do you have?
I did a basic course in evil last summer. Also, I'm the Prince of Darkness, Lucifer himself.
Sign here please

 

by kingofthehill
1-09-03
Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop...
Seriously, Mr. Fishy. he's really pissing me off. Ever since Back To The Future II he's been following me around wherever I go.
Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop... Bop bop shoo-wop...
He's completely lost it - he's barmy. I know he's got parkinson's disease, but he's still a little prick.
Hey Doc - who are you talking to?
AAAGH!

 

by kingofthehill
1-23-03
Yo bitch I'm tellin you I is a muthafuckin fish
In fact, I'm the baddest muthafucka carp there ever was.
Ok so I aint a fish but I just find you so damn sexy woman I'd lie to you I'd die for you ya know what I'm sayin? So we cool?
Make love to me, you sexy hunk of carp

 

by kingofthehill
1-26-03
I wandered lonely as a cloud...
what the fuck is that?!
my anus is bleeding...

 

by kingofthehill
1-26-03
At the undersea fish syncronised swimming championships...
Yay! They won!!!

 

by kingofthehill
1-26-03
i really hate you, kaufman
yeah well i hate you too, what you gonna do about it
I'm going to kill our baby
yeah... well... i don't care - i'm going to kill the cat! you smug bastard!

 

by kingofthehill
2-14-03
Mah mah mah! I really want a stapler! For some random yet humerous reason! Mah!
Fuck staplers. What i want to know is why you never even get an honourable mention in these CC things even though you've done loads
Oh fuck you. It's because my comics are shit, altight? Jesus, you really are a complete bastard aren't you.
You never even bother following the rules properly. Fuckwit.
Fuck you, fuck staplers and fuck Stripcreator.
Oh fuck off.

 

by kingofthehill
2-24-03
Listen here, you reatrded soap-dodging tree-fucker - I could have you killed. Do you know who I am?
So don't fuck with me, man. You horse-fucking fuckwit. Fuck you!
...and that's how I got banned from the leisure centre.

 

by kingofthehill
3-01-03
HAHA! LOOK AT ME! I'VE GOT A BOOB ON MY BACK!!! HAHAHA!!!
It's not nice to imitate people. I'm very sensitive about my reverse breasticle.
HAHA! FREAK! HAHA!
Yeah well at least my anus isn't bleeding
How did she know?

 

by kingofthehill
3-09-03
stripcreator is so shit...
yeah

 

by kingofthehill
3-09-03
Hello and welcome to the owl sanctury. Can I buy a you a pint of vodka to wash down that moose?
Ah bollocks. Not this bollocks again...
Come, stroke my baton. Carress my womanly body. Do not feed the owls.
Please, just leave me alone
You're under arrest

 

by kingofthehill
3-09-03
AAH! YOU STEPPED ON A CRACK! That's bad luck.
You are so gay

 

by kingofthehill
3-09-03
*sigh*

 

by kingofthehill
3-09-03
Yeah, like, whatever.
Hello, and welcome to my planet. As you can see it, is green and orange.
Living on a planet that consists entirely of marijuana plantations can be.. um...
Score
...something....
saaaaafe!

 

by kingofthehill
3-12-03
well, everyone else has done it, why shouldn't I?

 

by kingofthehill
3-15-03
me drink beer

 

by kingofthehill
3-20-03
The Uruk-Hai are closing in
Aragorn, we must destroy the ring NOW
OK - all we need now is Mengigo, and all of Middle Earth will be saved!
...
...
Mengigo went for a shit in the bushes and while he was there he died of pomposity.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MENGIGO?!?!
I am so sexy

 

by kingofthehill
4-13-03
where is shambo?

 

by kingofthehill
4-13-03
shambo...

 

by kingofthehill
4-13-03
shambo!

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