All comics by presidentevil

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by presidentevil
5-19-03
Aaron: I love you, baby. Emma? I love you....
Emma: I know, that's about the 50th time you've told me.

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
After finally moving to L.A., Aaron's clingy tendencies still refuse to subside.
Aaron: Baby, I love you. Baby? Baby, what are you doing? Are you sleeping?
Emma: Umm, what do you think I'm doing? I'm right in front of you.
Aaron: I'm sorry, baby. I love you.
Emma: God, what is your problem? You act like a robot or something. Is that all you can say?
Aaron: Well, actually....
Emma: Oh god....

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
Emma finally becomes tired of Aaron's insanity.
Aaron: Please, no! You know what happens when you do such things to me!
Emma: That's it, I want to break up. I'm sick of your shit.
Aaron: You know how unstable I become! I'm going to snap!!! I can't handle it!
Emma: I know what happens. You start to cry, yell, and become a total mess.
Aaron's true nerd form reveals itself at last.
Aaron: Super Saiyan powers activate!!!! You'll pay for hurting me!
Emma: And this was going to be the father of my children....

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
Another average day at Umbrella Inc.
Umbrella CEO: Ok, I want you to make another virus, but nothing too original.
Scientist: No problem. I have my best men on the case.
In the next room.
mix teh ch3mic@ls t0 m@k3 teh virus. w00t!!!
A few days later.
Umbrella CEO: You're so fired.
Scientist: It's not my fault that we're an equal opportunity employer.

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
It has never taken much to get Kevin to laugh. However, he has a different sense of humor then most people.
Kevin: LMAO!!!! OMG!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Mom, have you ever had that "not so fresh" feeling?
Kevin: HAHAHAHA!!! Oh man! That's hilarious!!!
Get your Easy Orgasm for only 2 payments of $19.95.
Kevin: I don't get it....
I'm not competitive. In fact, I'm the least competitive, so I win.

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
The effects of weed.
Kevin Hobbs: 'Sup, man? You want some weed for the low low?
Excuse me?
Kevin Hobbs: Come on, dawg. I fuck with you. I got the good shit.
.........
Later...
Kevin Hobbs: This sucks, yo.
Your hands are soft, like a ladies....

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
Steve's insanity knows no limits.
Steve: Cats!!! You know what I have to say about cats. I need a new pair of pants!!!!
Christy: What are you babbling about?
Steve: The lamp on the shelf is on. The lamp on the shelf is on!!! Baaaa!!!
Christy: God, Steve! Would you act sane for once?
Christy's violence + Steve's insanity = Happy couple
Steve: Sanity? What is sanity? It's just another word in the English language that means that someone is normal, but what's normal? Certaintly not I!
Christy: Ahhhh! Shut up!

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
Steve attempts to fight his addiction to cigarettes.
Smoke me!
Steve: No. You are nothing but death wrapped neatly in a box. I refuse to touch you!
Come on, you know you want to.
Steve: Of course I want to, but I must fight it. Do you know what'll happen to me if I continue to smoke like I do?
Flash forward 15 years.
Do you have any idea what those things can do to you?
Steve: Yeah, whatever.

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
Somewhere in an undisclosed nightclub, an unlikely pair cross paths...
Say, how about we go back to my place and grab a couple beers.
Sure!
How much farther?
It's just around the corner
Not quite what I had expected.
Yeah, I get that a lot.

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
After years of searching, Claire Redfield finally finds the CEO of Umbrella.
Claire: You will pay for the thousands who have died because of Umbrella's treachery!
Umbrella CEO: I think not, Miss Redfield...
Umbrella CEO: You see, after years of research, we have finally developed the ultimate Bio Weapon...
Kevin Brooks!
NOOOOO!!!!
Kevin: Can we make this quick? I have go hide under some blankets so that I can secretly watch A.J. jerk off.

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
And now a brief glimpse into Steve's traumatic childhood.
Kid Steve: They need to make "Aliens" toys. That would be nifty.
It's Aliens...in toy form. Collect all 267!!!!
Kid Steve: WOW!!! It's like they read my mind!

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
The Next Day...
Kid Steve: Now they need to make "Predator" toys. THAT would be REALLY cool!
Introducing Predator action figures. Buy them all!
Kid Steve: DUDE!!! NEATO!!!

 

by presidentevil
5-20-03
The NEXT Day...
Kid Steve: NOW all they need to do is have a contest where all kids named Steve that like aliens and predator toys get a million dollars.
*...sigh...*

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
Steve finally joins the Marines and is shipped off to war.
Steve: Medic! We need a medic in here!!!
However, he soon has an unlikely encounter.
Steve: Aaron, what the hell are you doing here?
Aaron: Emma left me, so after wallowing in self pity for a few weeks, I decided to join the Marines.
Steve: Cool. Just one question, when did the Marines start recruiting 12 year olds?

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
After a brief reconcilliation, Aaron and Steve focus on the matters at hand.
Steve: We're in a real tight spot here. Any suggestions?
Aaron: Now that I'm a vicious killing machine, I'll have a chance to test out my Super Jedi Spinkick.
Never send a boy...
Aaron: You have commited crimes against my country! Prepare to die!!!
...to do a man's job.
Steve: *sigh*
Aaron: Ahhhh! My Pancreas!!!

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
After Aaron's untimely, though humorous demise, Steve confronts Aaron's assailant.
Steve: Even though you probably did me a favor, I'm still going to have to kill you.
Was that a lady's trenchcoat he was wearing?
..........
Steve: Fair enough... Wanna beer?
???

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
Good evening. In case you've read more than just the random selection of comics made immediately available to you through this fine website...
(Namely those of our good friend President Evil)
...You may have noticed that the character model for Aaron has changed from me...
...to him.

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
You see, it was decided that while most of P.E.'s friends had accurate characatures, one was still needed for Corey.
Thus, I, being blonde and blue clad, became Corey, and he, because he looks 12 and dresses like he thinks he's in the Matrix, became Aaron .
Thank you and good night.

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
Just another ordinary day for Aaron
*boing boing* ... *KAKAKAKAKA*
Aaron: ???...what the hell was that noise?!
Until...
Aaron: HOLY CRAP!!! Where the hell did you come from?!?!
...
I am the evil gun toting kangaroo that lives in your mother's underwear drawer!!!!!!!

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
Today we learn what not to do...Hey Gary, look at this!
Hi!
HEY THERE LITTLE GIRL YOU LOOK REALLY DULL AND BORING! HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO COMMIT SUICIDE!
But hey these comics are aimed for adults, right ?
Your bootie's on fire.
WELL IF YOU WANNA BE COOL AND HAVE ALL YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDS WORSHIP AND ADORE YOU and you could lose a little weight, Porky....
What do you mean we're not next to Doonesbury anymore?
Well I have been feeling a little bit under appreciated. Do they come in menthol?
TRY NEW DAMEL 100'S AND SMOKE YOUR WAY TO COOLNESS!!

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
President Evil/A.J. confronts Kevin in front of the viewing audience.
A.J.: Dude, what was up with that last comic?
Kevin: What? What was wrong with it?
A.J.: I appreciate that you wanted to make your own comic, but you could have made your own account. I go to eat Chinese food and I come back here to find you brainwashing my audience?
Kevin: I didn't think that you'd mind. Besides, I thought that it was quite humorous. I'm sorry that I'm not as funny as you or Steve. Blah, blah, blah...
A.J.: Whatever, Kevin. Just don't do it again.
Kevin: Blah, blah, blah...

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
Driving home drunk at 3:00 A.M., Wally gets into a car accident, destroying A.J.'s car.
Ok, sir. Have you been drinking any tonight?
Wally: I hate her. I hate her...
Ok. You do have insurance, right?
Wally: You know the pyramids? The aliens came down and they built them. I took Jeff, and they took him, and rose him in the air. They knew he'd be special.
Always the charmer.
Ok, sir. I'm going to let you off with a warning.
Wally: I love you, man. You're smart. You're a genius, man. You know, most people are here, but you are here.

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
One day ...
You do realize no one will get that last one because they don't know Wally, the sole inspiration for that comic.
Yes, I know but my friends will find it funny, and I thought it was funny.
Why did you waste all that time to appease no one but your friends, but not anyone who wanders upon this fab site?
Well, I just, gonna, and, well....uh...
Don't you understand? Comics are meant to be funny for everyone, while everyone may not find it funny. I assure you, for a fact my comic will get more laughs than yours.
Well, fuck. I wonder if Buffy's around here somewhere?

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
A.J.: Once again, allow me to set the record straight. I was not responsible for the last comic. That was Kevin's revenge for the last one I made about him.
A.J.: However, all precautions have been made to where you will no longer have to worry about him invading my fine gallery.
A.J.: Meet my new security system.

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
Seeing that A.J. is busy playing Enter the Matrix, Kevin attempts to make another comic on his account.
Kevin: Heh, I'll show him. I'll make a comic that will have A.J. hated by all!
Kevin: What the hell?
I am the evil gun toting kangaroo that lives in your mother's underwear drawer!!!
Kevin: Ahhhhh!!!

 

by presidentevil
5-21-03
While in L.A., Aaron visits a nightclub. However, it isn't exactly his type of club.
So, how are you doing?
Aaron: Ummm, fine. Where are all of the chicks?
Chicks? Oh, so you're not gay?
Aaron: No, of course I'm not gay!
Then why are you wearing a women's trenchcoat?
Aaron: Enough with the god damned trenchcoat!!!

 

by presidentevil
5-22-03
"1 out of 7 Americans start their mornings at McDonalds."
w3lc0me t0 teh mcd0nalds. c@n I t@ke y0ur 0rd3r?
Uh, yeah. Can I get a coffee and an Egg McMuffin?
teh c@sh r3gister is br0ke.
So? Just do the math real quick. The coffee is 99 cents and the Egg McMuffin in $1.50. Add 8% sales tax and there's my total.
Perhaps this is why so many people are late for work.
this is teh h@rdness. w3 n33d a m@nager in h3re.
Oh my god...

 

by presidentevil
5-23-03
The next day.... in Heaven.
So what you're saying is that because A.J. caused my death, I can go back and cause vengeance on him any way that I choose?
Yeah, I guess so. It's seems like the right thing to do. I mean for my sake, who gets annhialated by an armed marsupial?
That day.. back on earth.
Oh, life seems so empty and pointless now since I've accidentally trained that kangaroo to assassinate all of my friends and colleagues.
Due to circumstances beyond our control, the WB would like to apologize to all the loyal fans of Angel, but tonight will be it's very last show; and it ends on a cliffhanger. Sorry.
Oh, my God! ... What else could happen! ..................... Oh my fifteen incher!

 

by presidentevil
5-23-03
A.J.: Ladies and gentlemen, let me once again apologize. The last comic was done by that rat bastard Kevin. By some grace of god, he got into my account again.
A.J.: I swear, if he makes another comic on my account again, it's his ass.
A.J.: By the way, you're so fired.
I don't need this job, anyway! I have a PHD for god's sake!

 

by presidentevil
5-25-03
While Death is usually busy thinning out the ever-growing herd that is human kind, even he has certain burdens to bear.
Enter the DMV...
My god, can we speed this up? I've got quotas to fill.
Oh, be nice...

 

by presidentevil
5-25-03
So, can I get my license plate to say "CatLuvR"?
Ok, that's about all I can stand.
It's Aaron!!!
Yeah, I need to renew my ta... Is that a women's trenchcoat?
Next!

 

by presidentevil
5-27-03
After being handcuffed in the bottom deck, Aaron believes that he will certaintly die from the rising water. However, Emma comes to his rescue.
Emma, I knew you'd come back for me! You have to help me escape!
Actually, I just wanted my trenchcoat back...
Huh? I thought our love would last forever.
It was just a one night stand. I told you that from the beginning.
Wait, come back! I love you!
That's nice. Do you know if there are any lifeboats left?

 

by presidentevil
5-27-03
As the first plane nears the World Trade Center, the terrorists discuss their fate.
Praise Ala! We are about to arrive in Paradise!
Virgins, here we come!
After the crash, the terrorists are sent to their rightful destination.
A bit warm, isn't it?
Quiet, here comes our first virgin!
Hello!
...................

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