CHUBBY  

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by CHUBBY
10-03-04
At Abu Ghraib, Brig. Gen. Karpinski met an Israeli interrogator.
I'm Nick Berg. The Israelis thought I was an Iraqi spy. I did visit my Iraqi uncle's brother here, and the "20th hijacker" once sent an email from my addy. I installed the TV antenna at Abu Ghraib.
I was also in US custody at one point. And in the decapitation video, I am wearing an Army-issue jumpsuit and sitting in an Army-issue chair, in front of a wall that looks like Abu Ghraib.
The killers are awfully large and white for Arab terrorists. And one of them wears white sneakers. Despite the fact that we already know what he looks like "Al-Zarqawi" wears a mask.
Hi, I'm Abu Musad Al-Zarqawi. So why am I wearing a mask? Uh--
You sayin' I look fat? The camera adds 15 lbs., you know.
Maybe the Israeli dropped a dime on me and the US said if you kill a spy to get your atrocities off page one, the two crimes cancel each other out. And thanks to me, they got to see themselves on tv.
Oh, wait. That would be against the Constitution. I'm sure Dubya's administration would have nothing to do with something like that. Never mind. You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives.
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