Married Autobot Chuck: I don't know what got into me. I have a great life!
Married Autobot Chuck: I'm successful at a young age despite a lack of well-documented education, intelligent, charming, rugged, not to mention highly paid and a sweet piece of ass!
Eslewhere...
Farmer Chuck: So he's out there blabbing about how great he is huh?
Married Autobot Chuck: Look, Miss, I appreciate your offer but I can't accept. I'm a married man, er, bot.
Untainted Hooker: No luvluv?
Married Autobot Chuck: It's not that I don't WANT to. It's more that I have everything I need at home.
Or that you're just a pansy that doesn't have the pair to take hold of your primal sexual urges and make love to a beautiful woman outside of some ring-using union.
HA! Good one.
Married Autobot Chuck: Wait. What? What was with that thought bubble?
Untainted Hooker: Me can touch you with tongue from here. Robo Nerd want see?
Married Autobot Chuck feels it's time to head out.
Married Autobot Chuck: I just want to get back to my wife & kiddo. It's probably better if I just leave my psyche locked away as it should be. This is just disturbing.
Transitional crap, sorry.
Married Autobot Chuck: There's some things no one should know about themself I guess.
Ultra Smooth Chuck: What the hell just happened here?
Let the good times roll...
Married Autobot Chuck: Forgive me. I, uh, don't I know you?
Ultra Smooth Chuck: Well sure! I'm the Chuck that got us together with that fine little Mrs. Am I the shit or what?
I wish I was back on strip one arguing with Farmer Chuck.
Alienated Chuckles: What's wrong?
Married Autobot Chuck: Huh? Oh, nothing. That is, if you want to consider homeboy you blasted being the one who snagged Mrs. Chuck and not me to be nothing.
Alienated Chuckles: Man, you're all sorts of twisted up. You need to talk to White Chocolate. I'll be back.
Married Autobot Chuck: They just come and go, don't they folks?
Married Autobot Chuck: Urm, I take it you're White Chocolate?
White Chocolate Chuck: G please. Need one ask? Now what's this bullshit I'm hearin' about Ultra Smooth being the pimp that snagged the wife?
Married Autobot Chuck: I'm guessing it was you then?
White Chocolate Chuck: Nah pimpin! I just helped yo ass out. You think you, Farmer Chuck, or that yucktastic behemoth would've ever touched ANY woman without an assist from me? Dawg, don't even play.
Yay for our hero!
Married Autobot Chuck: So... ..I DID do it?
White Chocolate Chuck: With my help home-skillet, with my help.
Farmer Chuck: Whoa kemoblowme! How about bringing the asshole meter down to whiny dip for moment. I'm sure as fuck not apologizing for sending a beautiful woman to meet you.
Married Autobot Chuck: Shut it slacker! I don't need your stank ass sending rump-shaking hookers after me trying to tempt me back to a life I don't want!
Farmer Chuck: Hey. You got me all wrong Jackassimus Prime. I just wanted to send a peace offering for the little tiff we had earlier. I know you and I don't always see eye to eye, but I love ya.
Married Autobot Chuck: Really? You really feel like that?
Farmer Chuck: Sure I do. Now can someone hand me a hose? I'm standing knee-deep in bullshit.
Farmer Chuck: So what the fuck is the draw to being with the SAME woman EVERY day and night, having a crying mouth to feed, and slaving away at the same fucking job day in and day out?
Married Autobot Chuck: A woman that knows & loves me, knows exactly how I like it, the pleasure & joy of knowing my offspring, and making more money in one year than you've seen in a day of your life.
Wow. Nice. Wasn't expecting that.
Farmer Chuck: ....
Married Autobot Chuck: Fantastic! I win!
Farmer Chuck: HEY WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING!?! THIS ISN'T OVER!
Married Autobot Chuck: Take care you furry freeloading zero!
Farmer Chuck: You mind telling me what the hell happened with that girl?! She was perfect! There's no way Pimpless Prime could have avoided her! She would have gone after him forever!
Chester: Well... ...that's the thing... ...I kind of... ...fucked her.
Farmer Chuck: No I did not just hear Chester, Chester, the Childmolester tell me he hit that shit before me.
MattMan: Chucko, why the long face? Today couldn't have been THAT bad.
First part of me started questioning me about my choice in regards to getting married, having children, cleaning up, and bitching out on everyone...
...then there was this fine ass bitch that I couldn't fuck because I feel obligated to my wife whom I love deeply so I had to run away from her. Sigh. Shit's just getting to me I guess.
MattMan: HA! TOLD you so!
Married Autobot Chuck: Not the response I was looking for.
Married Autobot Chuck: Look Matt. I just need a little reassurance about the choices I've made in my life from someone close.
MattMan: Dude, you don't need me to tell you about whether or not the choices you've made are good for you. That's not for me to say. I will say that I think you're doing great so try not to worry.
Married Autobot Chuck: That's the closest thing to needed support I've gotten all day! I'm going home and having sex with my wife.
An hour later......
MattMan: What's up Chuck?
Farmer Chuck: Dude, you wouldn't believe the day I'm having. Wanna get high?
After a request for some time at the veritable Chuck helm from Chester & Co...
Married Autobot Chuck: Front time?! You're nuts! I'd never let you people take over again!
Chester: According to this Latina Porn Digest article, one should nurture all sides of their personality. Especially those associated with primal urges.
Married Autobot Chuck: Will you stop quoting from that infernal porn mag!? You're making that up any way!
Chester: Intriguing. According to this test I've just scanned on your behalf, it appears your cock has packed up your testicles and left due to your bitchass ways.
Chester: Hey Luffa, it also says you should really pay me back for...
Chuckaluffa: Hey kid, go fuck yourself. Get back to work with the robot, 'kay?
Depressed Stick Chuck: What the hell was that!?! I want to be a pile!!
Burrito Chuck: Stick it stickboy. I'm hungry. I gotta find something to eat.
Let's see. If I can convince porky here to devour me in a not so nice way, if memory of biology serves, he should eventually crap me out in pile form. Not the same pile, but close.
Burrito Chuck: Say, you there. Do you know where I can find the nearest Taco Bell?
Maybe we shouldn't have come here after all... ...sorry folks.
Married Autobot Chuck: Will you kindly just leave me be and let me get back to our life?!
Chester: Let's see, let YOU and only YOU go back to sexing the same woman for the rest of OUR existance, or stay here and try to take back what's ours. Hmm. Choices...
Married Autobot Chuck: If I pay you, will you go away?
...?
Chester: I'm having second thoughts.
Chuckaluffa: If you don't turn around right now and get back at it I'll castrate you with my pearly whites.
Married Autobot Chuck: I'm through with you and your lizard friend! Let me pass!
Chester: Look Mr. Mywifehasmynuts, I'd love to let you pass and this all be over... ...except that I wouldn't. I can't just let you waltz on without something outta this for me.
Married Autobot Chuck: A thousand dollars. If you fuck off, I'll give you a thousand dollars.
A grand. I could buy a lot of hookers for a grand. So many titties.
I could also afford to buy and keep an ostrich.
Chuckaluffa: Yo, lonely boy. What the fuck do you think you're doing?
Chester: Luffa, look man. I've got needs. And drifting aimlessly in here while PussWuss goes back to the real world of status quo living.
Chuckaluffa: I'm glad you brought up needs. Listen kiddo, I've got needs too. For example, I'm developing a need right now to gut you where you stand for wasting my precious time.
Chester: He's gunna give me a thousand dollars man! I can at least maintain some sanity for a while with an amount like that.
Chuckaluffa: Not if I remove your perversion-filled peabrain with my index claw you couldn't.
Chester:...What if I gave you ten percent?
Chuckaluffa: Beat it. I'm done with you. Walk away or die where you stand pally.