Straightshooter  

Until I can afford cable, I guess I'll have to watch the Morehead channel.

EEEET'S TYYYYY-MEE FOR BUY A DAWG, SELL A FRAWG.

Is this a game show?

Hullo evurbody, if you'n's wunt to sell sumptin, cawl up this here number on da screen.

Hmm, may be there will be something I could buy here.

HULLO? YUH. I WUNNA SALE A 1982 CHEVY IMPALA, 167,000 MILES, ONE DOOR, NO TIRS. I'LL TAKE $34,000...FIRM!