Straightshooter  

Yes?

Hello, I'm television's Abe Vigoda. You may recognize me from Barney Miller or Fish. I was also in The Godfather.

Sorry, I don't recognize you. What can I do for you?

I was wondering if I could be a part of your comic strip, "Morehead, KY- Universally Rude"? I'd love to work in situation comedy again!

Well, it's not supposed to be a joke. The things you've read here actually take place everyday in Morehead, Kentucky and these are my accounts of those events.

I'd rather you just told me no instead of trying to make me believe there is a place where people ACTUALLY ACT like that!